by Leanne Davis
“I’m going to try.”
Tony nodded with a grunt. Then he quickly sipped his coffee before setting his cup back down. “I have to get back to Olivia. Gretchen says she’s having a really tough time. The shock of all this is too much for her. And no forgetting, you broke her heart. You’re lucky I don’t slam your head into the counter for that.”
The pang of Olivia in distress made his temples throb. She was the reason he had to do this. “Why didn’t you?”
Tony shrugged. “I saw a kid in more pain than she was, and I don’t think it was your fault. But from here forward, what you do, will determine your life path. If you fail, it will be your fault now, Derek, and nobody else’s. You’re being given a chance, and a shot at learning about real values and living a real, normal life.”
It was so much pressure. His head ached just thinking of it. He felt tired and old before he even got started.
“I’m going to get Quentrell, Derek. Just so you know. He won’t get away with drugging and kidnapping my eighteen-year-old girl. And trust me, justice will be done. I don’t know how yet, but I’m working on it. He never realized how many decent people are still out there, and he finally messed with the wrong one.”
“I didn’t know.” Derek’s heart lifted, but soon dropped. How often did reality ever turn out happy for him? Or right? When was justice ever served for him? But Tony seemed so sure, that Derek couldn’t say.
“My daughter isn’t living in fear for the next few years. She deserves to finish college and enjoy her life the way it was supposed to be, before you.”
“I know. I know she does. I’m sorry, Tony. For what I did to her.”
His jaw clenched. “When I see you so lost and clueless about normal things, I feel sympathy for you. But then I think of you as a predator, coming after Olivia, when you knew better. When I remind myself that you were a drug dealer and all the crap you were exposed to, and brought into her life, I almost consider sending you to jail. But then, I remember how I found you that night. It’s not an easy thing to feel about you. But I did this for you. I got you guys out. What you do now is your decision. Not mine. And I won’t judge Noah and Lindsey or Will for however they deal with you. Just know this: if you screw this up, that’s it.”
“I understand,” he said softly. He glanced up. “I won’t mess this up.”
Tony inhaled a breath and replied, “I’m hoping I’m right about you. So your job is to prove Olivia was right.”
****
Max didn’t shuffle downstairs until just before lunch. He was as quiet as always. He kept his head down and didn’t engage any of them. He knew the deal, as well as Derek. Lay low. Keep quiet. Take what you can get whenever you can get it. Lindsey tried to get him to open up and talk, asking generic questions, but he rudely grunted his answers.
She finally let him be. He sat on the couch, totally enraptured with their TV. Then a black truck parked in the driveway and a man with a young girl got out. Derek dropped his feet off the ottoman and stood up. Must be round three in his fight to prove he wasn’t a lying sack of shit there to cause trouble.
Tony flung the door open and he and the man thumped each other on the back in kind of a hug. The little girl followed. She looked about Max’s age, with long, brown hair and eyes. She stayed back behind her dad.
“How the hell are you?” the man asked Tony.
Tony shrugged as he shut the door. “This shit’s been hard. But thank you for taking him on.”
“I can’t imagine. If it were Christina…”
“Yeah, well, it’s not exactly how I thought I’d handle it, bringing the kid here to live and work with you guys. Anyway, this is Derek Salazar. Derek, this is Will Hendricks and his daughter, Christina.”
Will was muscle-bound and kind of mean-looking. His cold gaze swept over Derek, who immediately sensed his suspicious nature. Derek knew he wouldn’t get the warm, happy welcome that Noah and Lindsey gave him.
Tony called Max, and he came out, with his eyes downcast. Derek put his hand out to Will as Tony nudged his arm. He forgot. Shake hands like a man. Will shook his hand and his gaze held his. “So, you doing this because you have to, or because you want to?”
He shrugged. “Both. I guess.”
“Honest. Okay, do you know what I do?”
“No.”
“I’m a subcontractor who installs, repairs and maintains HVAC systems.”
Derek blinked. What did that all mean? “I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s heating and air-conditioning systems. Like the heat register there?”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Dad? Why do you sound so weird?” The girl stepped out from behind him.
He winced and grinned down at her, his entire expression softening. “Because, Tiny, he’s been in some trouble recently, and I need to make it clear that won’t be the case with me.”
The girl’s coloring went to pink. “Dad! I told you not to call me that.”
She rolled her eyes with a shy, girlish giggle and a smile. He stepped back. Nah-uh, no way. Was she… Making eyes at him? “I’m Christina,” she said before rolling her eyes again.
Derek grabbed his little brother and placed him in front of him. “I’m Derek, and this is my brother, Max. Looks like you two are about the same age.”
Christina’s eyes were on Derek, not Max. Max shrugged and said, “H-hey.”
She glanced at him and said, “Hey.”
Derek never had a more uncomfortably painful conversation. Will glanced between them and finally set his hand on her shoulder, like a protective warning. “So, are you willing to start tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I mean, yes, sir. Where do I go?”
He nodded. “I’ll pick you up here. Wear clothes to work in. I have an installation tomorrow. We’ll start you off right. Right to the heavy lifting.” Seeing his challenging grin made Derek suspect he was being insulted.
Christina was looking at them and then not. “So, will Max be going to school then?”
Lindsey walked in from the kitchen and Christina smiled at her. “Hey, Aunt Lindsey.”
She came forward and hugged the girl. “Hey, Tina. Yeah, Max will be starting school here. We just haven’t had a chance to work out all the details yet.”
Max’s face froze. Derek felt his fear. New school. New people to hide his speech from. New people to torment him. New people to fight with. Derek didn’t see how this could work. Not at all.
“Well, maybe I could show you around and stuff. What grade are you in?”
Max stared down before he barely stuttered out, “S-seventh.”
“Me too. Don’t worry; I’ll show you the ropes.” She grinned as she stepped into the adjoining room. She called to Max, “Wanna play some video games? Uncle Noah, has them all.”
Max stared at her and then at Derek, who shrugged. She seemed to ignore his speech impediment and unwillingness to talk. Max stepped after her, obviously unsure of what else to do.
Will glanced around. “What’s with his speech?”
Derek felt the eyes on him. He flinched. “He’s never spoken right. No one ever found out why.”
Will swore under his breath. “That’s the kind of shit you grew up in? Who doesn’t get their kid speech therapy?”
Derek shrugged. “I don’t know.”
His jaw tightened. “Okay, tomorrow. Do you mind if Christina stays for a while, Linds?”
She shook her head. “No, I think it’ll be good for Max.”
“Keep an eye on them.”
“We all will.”
He left and Derek stared after him. Tony was talking to Lindsey and Noah. He finally shoved into him. “I need to take off. Look, I’ll be in contact. But… you know, you’ve got to stay here and make this shit work out. Okay? For that kid in there. For yourself. So…”
Derek shrugged and repeated what seemed to be his new life mantra, “So don’t fuck it up.”
“Yeah, exactly. Take care, kid.”
; He nodded and watched Tony pull away. Something about it felt strange. His heart kind of shrunk and expanded. He felt… almost, like he was being abandoned again, but he didn’t want to be. He’d never felt that way about anyone, other than Olivia. He glanced around. It was all so foreign and strange. But it wasn’t all bad. Max was playing a video game with Christina next to him. She jerked her body all around with whatever she did to the controller. She giggled and talked, in a high-pitched voice. Max didn’t say much, but she didn’t seem to care.
Lindsey and Noah were down in the kitchen making dinner. For Max and him. Whoever made dinner for him? He stared up at the vaulted ceiling above. How had his life’s path taken him here?
Chapter Eighteen
WILL HENDRICKS WORKED DEREK hard. It was physically exhausting. He had him lifting heavy equipment and crawling around in tight, dark spaces. Whatever Will did was far more complicated than the grunt work he made Derek do. But by nightfall, Derek was beat. He ate dinner that was prepared and paid for by Noah and Lindsey, before totally crashing at their house. He either stayed at work or at their home. Sometimes, he went off to a local park to exercise and alleviate some of his boredom by shooting hoops. They didn’t pressure him to talk or bond. They just let him be.
He spent a lot of time with Will while driving to the different job sites and resident homes. It took a while for Will to warm up to Derek. Christina liked to tag along with her dad on the days when she was not at school. She quite obviously adored her dad, and liked to hang out with him. She continued eyeing Derek in some kind of crush. Derek was stressed over it. What if Will thought he was doing something to encourage it? Will’s disdain for Derek was pretty strong at first. Finally, one afternoon, he said, “How did Tony not just kill you? If that happened to my daughter, I’d have hurt you bad.”
“I think he should have.”
Will nodded. “But he didn’t. And Tony’s no sentimental pushover.”
“Look, Christina kind of seems to have a… a thing for me. I just want you to know I’m not doing anything to encourage it.”
Will balled up the baggie he’d just eaten a sandwich from. He nodded. “Yeah, I noticed that. I also think you realize if I thought you even glanced sideways at my thirteen-year-old daughter, you would only wish it had been Tony who hurt you. But then again, my wife always tells me I can’t go around doing things I’m too prone to doing.”
“You were in the Army, right?”
“Yeah. Special Forces. I could kill you in ten different ways and no one would ever find your body.” He smiled fondly, as if recalling a lovely memory of his youth. “The simpler days. A lifetime ago.”
“How did you go from that to this?”
Will shrugged. “This is better than when I first got out. I worked for a big manufacturing plant. My wife was finishing her doctorate and we had to move to complete it. When we came back, I decided I was done working for others and started a business for myself. Hoped it could work out. I tolerate it because my family needs me. Gotta feed your family, Derek. And selling drugs on the street is never the way to do it.”
Derek dropped his gaze down, surprised when heat filled his cheeks. Will leveled his eyes at him. “What you did to Olivia? That’s not love. That’s selfishness. Endangering anyone for your deeds? There is never any justification. Although I think Tony’s right: you’re a stupid kid, who had to raise yourself. So here’s the thing. You get another chance. With me. With Noah and Lindsey. But we aren’t tied to you for any other reason. One chance. Think you can handle it? I really don’t know. And honestly? I really don’t care. I owed Tony because he’s my friend. But you’re not. So you’re on thin ice with me. Got it?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
But Will was fair and paid him well. He even paid him extra one afternoon because he thought he’d earned it. Will patiently took the time to show Derek why they had to do this or that, and various installation techniques to comply with the state and federal laws that applied there. It was a dynamic job since all the systems were different and elaborate. Will negotiated with his customers and figured out the best system to suit their needs along with the costs associated. Other days were spent getting full-on sweaty, when they had to work the install or make a repair. Sometimes Will had to draw up new construction plans, leaving Derek with nothing to do.
Will was a master at his profession, but Derek sensed that he sometimes didn’t love knowing so much about it. He worked every day, with no vacations, and longer and harder than anyone who worked for him. It was hard for Derek sometimes just to keep up, if only to prove he could despite Will being at least twenty years older than he. He was invincible, it seemed. Tireless.
Noah, too, was very decent, although he took a little longer for Derek to get to know. He was friendly to talk to, but never pushy. He started by engaging Derek in conversations about sports and other random, somewhat banal stuff. In general, Derek never followed sports as he was usually busy doing bad things out on the streets. Noah was probably the easiest for Derek to be around because he demanded nothing from him. And in that safe space, Derek learned to be almost comfortable in his presence. To trust him even.
Noah also hired Derek to come into the veterinary clinic on Saturdays. He helped with odds and ends, some of which he never hoped to repeat, especially when it came to pet care or pet removal. He met Will’s wife at one point and was surprised how nice she seemed. She smiled a lot and laughed easily, not as dour and scary as Will.
They insisted that Max start school. Max didn’t really say if he were scared or nervous. He went along without protesting. Christina took Max under her wing. She showed him around and hung out with him and refused to let anyone talk badly about him, if she could help it. She was a little dynamo of energy and chatter and enthusiasm. She was so opposite of Max, it was surprising they even tolerated being in the same room together. She was a little tomboy with her scruffy jeans and t-shirts. Her long hair was always in a ponytail and she was at Noah and Lindsey’s almost as often as she tagged after her dad. Therefore, she spent a lot of time around Max. Derek often found them hanging out together in the living room or kitchen, Christina always talking away, regardless if Max answered her or not. He rarely did. He grunted and made his usual primitive sounds, but Christina didn’t seem to mind. Derek was happy to see it. Christina was the first friend he knew of Max having.
Lindsey slowly started to engage both of them. She was easy to be around because she demanded nothing of them either. Her questions were gentle, almost generic, and they never felt any kind of judgment from her.
She cooked for them and fussed over what they ate, all three meals. Derek and Max often shrugged at each other, tacitly asking, What the hell? Having enough to eat was usually a problem of their childhood, and they never had someone that worried about their health and was willing to prepare their meals to ensure good health. Or actually look for them before asking if she could make them something to eat. That puzzled them, and they had no idea what to think. No one had ever asked them, not that Derek could remember.
Derek couldn’t shake how odd he felt, like needles were being inserted all over his body whenever he was in the presence of Noah, Lindsey, Will or Jessie. They were all so, well, just so normal. Derek had nothing to compare it to, but he suspected that was how normal couples and families functioned. He never even believed they existed before now. Being in their presence, he became aware of each and every little thing he said and did. He was often confused and unsure what was proper or right, although everyone reassured him not to worry so much about it. Suddenly having to do it all day long, was an effort that exhausted him sometimes.
As Lindsey fixed him dinner one evening, Derek sat absently web surfing. He appreciated that Lindsey didn’t make him talk. He never had to make up silly conversation fillers with her.
She pushed up her sleeves and he once again noticed the ink on her inner elbow. It shocked him the first time he saw it. She didn’t look like the type. She’d been the mayor
of the freaking town. He couldn’t envision mayors who sported ink, and could not believe he now lived with one. She glanced up and caught him staring hard at her. She finished heating the stir fry before she shook all the vegetables and meat into a bowl to which she added soy sauce. Afterwards, she came over to where he sat and leaned across the counter from him.
“You’re wondering about the tattoo?”
He kept his gaze down. “It sorta surprised me.”
She held out her arm. Her skin was rumpled just to the left of the tattoo. The tattoo was mostly black with a few purple lines shaped in a feather and little, tiny, black birds flying away. Freedom. He knew instantly the design was meant to signify freedom. “I put it next to one of my scars. One which hurt like hell. I wanted to change the meaning of the scar.”
Scars? In the plural. He stared up at her. Was she for real? He had no idea what she meant. She fell silent and tapped a finger against her mouth. “Your father hurt you guys, right? And your mom?”
“Yeah. She didn’t seem to care much. She was strung out most days.”
“Oh. That almost seems sadder. The man I was married to used to hurt me. This scar was from when he held a hot pan against my skin. I don’t remember why I deserved the punishment.”
Derek’s mouth dropped open. “Stuff like that happened to you?”
“Yeah. He beat me up often. He shamed me, and embarrassed me. He raped me. And the weird thing was, Derek, I had all the help in the world at my disposal. I just had to tell someone to get out of the situation. But I hid it from everyone for five years, and the longer it went on, the worse it got, and the harder I tried to hide it. I almost completely cut off any contact with the help that was right there. It’s so hard to explain why I did that. Half of my life since then has been spent trying to understand why I did that. I still have to forgive myself, and accept that what I did, and how I survived wasn’t wrong. It was the best I could do at the time. When you live your life under siege from those who are supposed to love and protect you, well, it makes you act strange and think things that other people can’t always understand.”
