She shrugged and crossed her arms on her knees.
"If you don't like the head and paws," he offered, "I'll cut them off for you."
"You will?"
"Sure."
"I'd love to throw them out," she said.
"You couldn't do that. The Sioux wear claws and teeth and consider them valuable. The whole head and all the paws are worth a lot in trade."
"They are?" Her face brightened.
Cooper nodded.
"You mean I own something valuable?"
"You do." He realized how inadequate a woman in her position must feel without much money. From the beginning he'd been unfair for insisting she was indebted to him.
He pulled the heavy skin from beneath the bed and unfolded it. Drawing his knife from its sheath, he neatly sliced off the offending parts and carried them to the other bedroom, which he used for storage.
Hallie watched him wide-eyed as he returned and lifted the fur, draping it over the bed. "It'll keep you warm. It kept the bear warm a lot of winters."
Hesitantly, she moved toward the bed and ran her hand over the fur. "I really expected it to smell bad, but it doesn't."
"Kincaid knows how to cure the hide," he said. "He did a good job."
Their eyes met, and Cooper wondered if their thoughts had suddenly focused on the same thing. She proved him right when she spoke. "Do you think that since I turned him down, he's taken an interest in Chumani?"
"Chumani is beautiful. She'd be an asset to any man," he replied.
"How would you feel about that?"
"I don't know," he said honestly. "I'd be happy for her to continue living away from the reservation. Her well-being is what's important. He could take care of her and make her happy."
"What about the fact that he's white?"
"I'm white."
She nodded. "But you didn't take her for your wife."
"I couldn't have. I love her as a sister. I couldn't—I just couldn't have." Cooper wouldn't say the thought of sleeping with someone he thought of as a sister had mortified him since the day it became apparent that Last Horse was not going to fulfill his duty. Running Elk had turned to Cooper, and Cooper's insides had lurched. I will take care of her, he'd promised his father. But I won't make her my wife.
Their arrangement had satisfied Running Elk and pleased everyone else, as well. He and Chumani lived companion-ably, sharing Yellow Eagle's care, both pleased that there was nothing more expected from their relationship.
Distractedly, Hallie reached up and touched her sicun. Cooper's own stone throbbed to life with a heat that spread languorously through his body. He'd known from the minute he'd seen the stone she'd selected that there was something special about it—about the fact that it looked remarkably like his, right down to that pink streak.
"You're different from the men I've known." Hallie perched on the side of the bed.
"I'm certain of that." She was accustomed to gentlemen with fancy clothing and haircuts. Men with white hands who bathed in tubs and depended on pocket watches to tell them what time it was.
"Not just because you wear those clothes and your hair's long," she said. "Because you care that Chumani is satisfied with her life."
"My brother loved her very much. She made him a good wife and she deserves happiness."
"But…" Hallie raised her golden eyes. "You consider her a person. I've heard you ask her advice. You listen when she talks." She gave him a quick smile. "Heck, you listen to me, and heaven knows I certainly don't have any great wisdom to impart."
"Hallie." He touched her shoulder, and heat radiated through his fingers. "You have a lot to say that's worth listening to. You're an important person, too."
A single drop spilled from her bottom lashes, leaving a silver trail on her cheek. The sight did more to his insides than a flood of noisy tears could have done. The evidence of her vulnerability—and his—should have warned him to back off. Instead, he brushed away the tear with his thumb and framed her face. Bending near, he inhaled her glorious feminine scent. "I'm grateful to you for what you've done for Yellow Eagle. And I'm grateful for what you've done for me. You taught me without making me feel stupid."
"You're not stupid. You're one of the smartest people I've ever met."
"Do you always say exactly what you think?" he asked.
Her heart-reaching eyes slid to his. "I don't know."
"What are you thinking now?" His lips were scant inches from her cheek.
"That…" She paused. "That you have the bluest eyes I've ever seen. And that my heart couldn't possibly beat any faster." She licked her lips and the fire inside turned him to molten steel. "And that I want you to kiss me."
He did, leaning over and molding his lips to hers, touching her jaw as though she were a fragile night flower. She emitted a tiny noise that speared his belly with desire. He should leave. He should end this now before any damage had been done and save them both the pain. He drew back.
Her hand rose to his cheek and gently flattened along his jaw, binding him to her in a way no match of strength or strong cords could have. She stared into his eyes, her sultry expression a heady combination of rapt innocence and age-old wisdom. "And I think," she said, her breath against his lips, "that your gentleness gives me power. And I wonder if I would be afraid if you weren't quite so tender."
Her fingers urged his face near for another kiss. With a groan, Cooper complied, taking her in his arms and sinking down on the fur with her beside him. They lay on their sides, face-to-face. She cupped his jaw, her kisses drawing an insatiable yearning from the depths of his soul.
The soft, pliant body he pretended to ignore day in and day out lay pressed along his length. He swept his tongue into her mouth, tracing the silken skin of her inner lips, flattening and curling, possessing her, wanting her. She returned the kiss with an intake of breath and a tightening of her arms around his neck, pressing her sweet breasts against his chest.
Cooper's hand ached to cover those tempting mounds. Instead he circled her ribs, gripped her waist, then kneaded her lower back.
Hallie sighed into his mouth and pressed her thighs to his, teasing, enticing with total naïveté. Cooper teetered on the edge of ecstasy, fire licking through his loins, and captured her breast. Through her clothing her hard nipple pressed against his palm. He worked it beneath his thumb and she trembled in his arms.
He treated the other one with the same attention, skimmed her ribs and caressed her shoulder, coming back to capture the weight of her breast.
Hallie took her lips from his and left him hungering. Her spectacular eyes reflected the firelight. "Cooper?" she said.
His hand stilled on her breast.
"You know how you let me touch you?"
His passion-laden thoughts cleared and he recalled the night she spoke of. "Yes."
"Would it be…? Would you touch me like that?"
His heart mistook her meaning and threatened to burst. "I—I'm not sure…"
"You took your shirt off and let me touch you."
That was what she meant! "You don't know what you're asking," he said, his voice rasping more harshly than he'd intended.
"Well, I think I do," she replied. "It felt good to touch your skin, to learn the warmth and texture. I thought—I thought you might do the same…to me. Perhaps you would enjoy it."
He moved his hand away and reached behind his neck for her wrist. "There's no doubt I'd enjoy it, Hallie. What you don't understand is that…touching you like that would make it impossible for me…for me to…stop."
Her thick black lashes swept downward. "Oh."
He drew her fingers to his lips and kissed them, drawing her feverish topaz gaze.
"Impossible?" she asked.
What was she asking of him? How much tolerance did she think he possessed? He swallowed hard and concentrated on her irresistible body pressed against his. To kiss her was glorious, to touch her would be pure bliss. He could use self-control in order
to enjoy this incomparable closeness. Earning her trust was more important than satisfying his flesh. "Not impossible," he said.
Her gaze came back to his.
"You have my word," he vowed. "When you're uncomfortable, we stop."
She sat up.
Her hair spilled over her shoulder and she plucked the pins from it and dropped them over the bed's edge. The dark, fragrant mass fell free.
Cooper propped his head on his hand and watched her fingers go to the front of her blouse. Slowly, as each button was released, the fabric fell apart. She tugged it from her skirt and shrugged her arms free.
Her shoulders were slim, her collarbone a delicate shadow above a white undergarment. His gaze dropped to the pale swells of her breasts pushed upward by a stiff piece of fabric. She unhooked a dozen metal fasteners and cast it aside, revealing the wrinkled cotton beneath.
Cooper frowned in wonder at the amount of restrictive clothing.
Tugging a ribbon free, she worked loose an infinite row of tiny buttons. The material parted, revealing only shadows. His throat tightened and he concentrated. Breathe in. Breathe out. If she took it off, he'd be gentle. If she chose not to, he'd be a gentleman.
She took it off.
He forgot to breathe.
He'd never seen skin as pale and delicate looking as hers. Her nipples were tight circles with dusky pink nubs. The crude leather pouch seemed out of place against her exquisite, almost translucent skin. Beneath her breasts remained a mass of imprints from the tight clothing. The first place he touched was that lined flesh. "Isn't that thing uncomfortable?"
"By the end of the day it itches something fierce," she agreed.
"Why do you wear it?"
She blushed. "It's improper to go without a corset. A lady doesn't…doesn't…"
"Jiggle?"
She nodded, her entire chest flushed pink.
He sat up and reached for her. Her eyes fluttered shut. He brushed the skin over her sides and stomach with both palms and Hallie purred. He trailed lingering paths along her tender inner arms, up over her shoulders and back, circling her collarbone, her chest, her wrists and elbows.
Her nipples puckered and her head fell back. Leaning forward, he kissed her neck, sucked at the tender flesh, nipped, tasted. Gently he bit her earlobe and pulled it into his mouth. Against his ear her breath caught shallow and irregular.
Turning his face, he captured her mouth and kissed her hard. Harder than he'd ever kissed her.
Impatiently she caught his hands, pressed them to her breasts and held them there. "Touch me," she demanded.
He complied, kneading her supple flesh, weighing, pulling back to watch his dark hands against the ivory globes.
"I—I can't breathe," she panted.
"I know."
"Did it feel this good when I touched you?"
"Yes."
"I never knew."
He ran his fingers through her silken hair, pulled a fistful to his nose and breathed in her essence. Moving forward, he urged her to her back and straddled her, threading her sable tresses, spilling them in a glorious curtain across the fur.
She beckoned him forward and tugged at his laces. He complied, loosening them and yanking the shirt over his head. She urged him forward again, turning his head and plucking at the thong in his hair. The lace pulled loose and she freed his hair over his shoulders, running her fingers through as he had hers.
A smile trembled on her lips.
Cooper covered her breasts and enjoyed the downward nutter of her lashes. She dropped her hands back onto the bed, palms up, fingers gently curled in. He kissed the blue-veined skin at her elbow, drew a trail with his tongue to her shoulder.
Beneath him, she shivered.
"Cold?" he asked.
"No."
His tongue darted in and out of the indent at the base of her throat. His hair spilled across her face and she swept it behind his ear. The scent and texture of her skin set him on fire.
He closed his lips over one nipple and drew it into his mouth. A gasp escaped her and she brought the back of one hand to her mouth. He toyed with her, worshiped her, winding himself to a needful frenzy. Adoring the other breast in the same manner, he noticed when her hand fell from her mouth, when her breathing changed and her fingers clutched at his shoulders.
Lost in his ravenous desire for her, Cooper cupped her woman's mound through her wool skirt. A cry escaped her lips. She arched upward, and he ground the heel of his hand against her.
She urged his head up and met his lips with a hunger that inflamed him. Their chins tilted. Their tongues meshed. Their bodies strained against one another in an all-consuming burst of realmless passion.
"Cooper," she said against his mouth. "Cooper!" Her cry held an edge of desperation.
"Hallie," he whispered, and eased his hands from the places that caused her torment. "Shh."
She clung to him tremulously. "You said we'd stop when I was uncomfortable, but I didn't know this was what you meant."
"I didn't."
"You didn't?"
"No."
She exhaled and her breath quivered against his chin.
He rubbed her bare silken shoulder with comforting strokes. "I meant if you were afraid or had doubts."
"Should I have doubts?"
She'd never behaved as he expected her to—why should this be any different? He took her hand and placed it over the front of his trousers. "You do know what this leads up to, don't you?"
Her hand molded over his length. "I—I think so."
Cupping her chin, he tilted her head back so he could see her eyes. "I know you don't want a husband. But someday you might. If we were to do this together now, it would take something away from that marriage."
Not to mention that joining his spirit with hers would only lead to wretched pain when she left. He had no business taking her virginity and sending her back to Boston.
Her eyes filled with glistening tears. "But you want me?"
Why did her uncertainty do irreparable things to his in-sides? Why did he instinctively want to reassure her? He kissed her with all the discipline he could muster, reverently, gently, with none of the hot, wild desperation he really felt, and when her hand moved, he caught it up and entwined her fingers with his.
Hallie swallowed tears of frustration and confusion. Her body wasn't her own. It belonged to him now. Couldn't he see that? Didn't he know? She would joyfully surrender everything she had or had ever wanted, to be loved by this man.
For years she'd lamented being born a woman, she'd damned her femininity and yearned for appreciation and acceptance. For the first time, with Cooper, she'd been grateful for this cursed body. For the first time, because of him, she hadn't wished she was someone or somewhere else.
And ironically, after realizing how wonderful being a woman could be, what good did it do her? He had unerringly pointed out that this awakening she'd experienced wasn't meant for him.
Shame suffused her mind and body. An unbearable ache swelled in her chest. She wasn't here because he'd wanted her. She'd forced herself into his life and house and, most recently, into his arms. She'd asked for this!
Hallie pulled away, covering her naked breasts with her hands. Cooper reached to the end of the bed for her blouse. Ashamed, she clasped it to herself.
"Hallie?"
"Don't apologize for anything."
"I wasn't going to."
"Good."
"I just want to know you're all right."
She didn't meet his eyes. "I'm fine."
"Maybe…" He paused. "Maybe we can talk about this in a day or so. After you've had time to think."
"Maybe" was all she said.
He reached for her shoulder, but she stopped him with an upraised palm. He picked up his shirt from the floor. "Good night."
The door closed softly.
Hallie hurried to her trunk and withdrew a nightgown, pulling it over her head before she removed her skirt and pan
taloons. She brushed her hair with severe strokes and picked up her scattered clothing until no evidence of her foolishness remained.
Drawing back the covers, she climbed into bed beneath the heavy fur, its weight and warmth a painful reminder. Outside, the wind whistled through the shutters.
Beneath her cotton nightgown her body still tingled, her breasts sensitive and full. He'd asked her if she knew what their actions led to. She knew. And she knew that's where children came from, too. Thank goodness it hadn't gone that far. Thank goodness he hadn't wanted to go on. The last thing she ever wanted to do was bring a daughter into this stinking world.
Hallie turned over and closed her eyes, forcing herself to relax. She was stuck here for the winter. But first thing in the spring she'd be headed back for Boston. By this time next year, this would all be a bad dream.
Throughout the long night, Hallie drifted into restless sleep…and dreamed of thick fur beneath her back…supple skin against her breasts…unsettling kisses and sultry blue eyes…and in her dreams, she cried.
Chapter Fourteen
Never one to feel sorry for herself, Hallie mustered her determination and prepared breakfast. Since the weather had grown severe, the only meal they ate with Chumani and Yellow Eagle was supper, and they'd taken to doing that in the log house, so Hallie rarely went out.
Cooper came from the other room, dressed in his fringed shirt and trousers, his square jaw freshly shaven. "Smells good," he said.
She let herself look at him, his broad shoulders, his tanned skin.
He met her eyes and gave her a hesitant smile.
Her heart flip-flopped in her chest. "Flapjacks," she said. "I finally made a stack without scorching any."
They sat and ate.
"I have a few things for you to do today," he said. "That is, if you want to."
"Sure. Here?"
"No. Over at the other building."
"I'll be over as soon as the dishes are done."
"I'll help you and we'll go together."
Pleasantly surprised, she agreed.
"What was that look for? What do you think I do when I'm here alone?" he asked.
She shook her head. She hadn't thought about it.
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