A Traitorous Heart

by Tammy Jo Burns

  Tessa watched the pleading look in Kala’s eyes and understood it. “I think you should stay and fight it out, but it’s your choice and I won’t stand in your way. Have you told Derek?”

  “Yes. The coach is being readied and brought around after lunch. It should not take too long to reach Elizabeth’s house. I am leaving Sarah,” she nodded at the maid who stood quietly packing, “with you since there will not be enough room for her at Elizabeth’s.”

  “It seems like you’ve made your decision. I will miss you terribly,” she stated and the three women continued packing Kala’s belongings. The morning passed swiftly and before any of them knew it, the coach stood ready for Kala’s trunks to be loaded. Tessa walked Kala to the front door. “Take care,” she said hugging her friend tightly.

  “You too,” she responded in kind. “Give my love to Derek.”

  “You can do that yourself, pest” a deep voice drawled from the doorway holding his arms out.

  “I will miss you dreadfully,” Kala whispered throwing herself into his arms.

  “I’ll miss you too. Don’t waste too many tears on Gabe,” he whispered in her ear.

  “I’m done with him,” she sniffed.

  “Tell mother and Elizabeth I love them and give my niece or nephew a kiss for me, as well as the others.”

  “You know I will. Take care of Tessa. She is more than you deserve.”

  “I know.” Her brother helped her into the carriage and closed the door. He walked back to the doorway and stood next to Tessa as they watched the coach lumber off with a footman and three outriders. Derek watched out of the corner of his eye as Tessa waved until the carriage turned the corner in the drive and could no longer be seen.

  “How’s your head, my lord?” she asked, still facing down the drive.

  “Pounding, thank you for asking,” he replied.

  “You should be more careful when you imbibe.”

  “I will try to remember that in the future.”

  “And how is His Grace?”

  “Pounding head, roiling stomach, and gone from us.”

  “Oh indeed?” Tessa asked, cocking her head towards him, peering at him.

  “Yes, he had business to attend to on our behalf,” Derek returned her stare.

  “I see.”

  “He really is doing all he can for us, Tessa. I just want you to know that if for some reason he fails, there is a back-up plan in place.”

  “And that would be?”

  “Better you not know at this point.”

  She mulled that statement over for a moment. She started to argue that she did indeed want to know, but decided perhaps it would be better if she remain ignorant to his scheme. “What time should I be ready for supper this evening?” Tessa asked, still looking down the drive.

  “Six?” She nodded her agreement. “And Tessa?” She had just turned to go into the house, but stopped and looked at him questioningly. “Wear that beautiful purple gown.” She looked at him oddly for a moment then nodded and went inside.

  Without Kala around, the afternoon passed slowly for Tessa. After trying to read the same page at least ten times, she finally put her book away. She felt nervous about this evening, unsure as to exactly what Derek plotted. Having energy to dispel, and forbidden to go outside unescorted, she explored the halls of the house. Exploring during the day allowed her to look into the rooms passed over the other night. Most rooms looked as if they had not been used in years.

  She came upon a large room on the floor above hers that had several connecting doors off it. She walked over to some of the trunks lining the large room and opened one to see it full of toys. This must be the nursery. The toys looked old. How sad that this house had not heard children’s voices in so long. Tessa spent hours looking through the old toys when she noticed the room getting darker. She quickly placed them back in their containers and left to change for supper. Upon entering her room some minutes later Sarah greeted her breathlessly.

  “Oh, my lady, where’ve you been? You look a sight!”

  Tessa looked down at herself and for the first time noticed all the dust clinging to her.

  “You’re right Sarah. Do I have time for a bath before supper?”

  “I will get right to it, my lady.” Thirty minutes later, Tessa reclined in steaming honeysuckle scented water. She wished she could enjoy the bath, but already ran late for supper. She quickly got out, dried off then pulled on a wrap. Tessa brushed through her lush hair then sat at her dressing table to allow Sarah access to put it up. A knock sounded on her door.

  “Come in,” she called.

  “Are you still joining me this evening?” Derek came in looking ruffled.

  He looked very handsome in his tight breeches and hessians. His superfine fitted his strong, broad shoulders perfectly. Tessa could feel her heart beating faster at the fine figure her husband cut.

  “Tessa?” he broke into her reverie, his brow creased in concern.

  “Yes, we’re almost done here.” Did she sound as breathless to him as she did to her own ears? “I will join you momentarily.” He nodded and backed away, pulling the door closed behind him. “Sarah, are you almost finished? I must not keep him waiting any longer.”

  “Yes, my lady. One more pin, there, done.”

  “Thank you, Sarah. You did a beautiful job,” she admired her hair in a loose knot on top of her head with curly tendrils escaping to frame her face. She quickly slipped on her hose and garters while Sarah brought her dress over. Tessa stepped into it and the little maid laced up the back. She walked to the cheval mirror and admired her image for a moment. The color did look very striking, and the neckline gave a teasing glimpse of her décolletage.

  She glided to the door, opened it, and gave a start.

  Chapter 19

  “What are you doing?” she asked, placing a startled hand to her breast.

  “I decided to escort you down instead of waiting for you downstairs. You look beautiful, Tessa,” he leaned down and kissed her cheek softly.

  “Thank you,” she whispered as he took her hand and drew it through his arm. They entered the breakfast room instead of the formal dining room. Candles stood everywhere, casting a romantic glow on the room. Two place settings were beautifully laid out. Derek led her to a chair and seated her letting his calloused fingertips caress her shoulders before taking his place.

  A footman placed a bowl of soup on their plates and then quietly disappeared into the shadows.

  “How did you pass your day?” Derek queried.

  “Quietly.”

  “Oh? You didn’t work with Luke today?”

  “You know he couldn’t stay away from the stables while anxiously awaiting the arrival of your new stud horse. If he had come in, I wouldn’t have gotten anything out of him.”

  “I am sorry.”

  “No you’re not, because you were down there yourself just as anxious as Luke.”

  “Perhaps,” he smirked.

  “Never fear, I found other ways to occupy myself.”

  “Such as?”

  “I explored the house. Did you realize there are almost a dozen rooms that have been covered and forgotten?”

  “Yes. Long ago Blackburn Hall used to hold hunting parties where many people would stay for a week or two. My aunt and uncle however, did not care for the ton that much so many of the rooms have been closed up for years.”

  “I also stumbled upon the nursery. Of all the rooms, it seemed to be the saddest of all. I would hazard to guess there wasn’t a toy newer than a half of a century. All the furniture had been covered, but even the cloth looked as if it might fall apart at the slightest touch.”

  “A lack of children prevented my aunt and uncle from having the perfect life. They wanted a houseful, but Isabel died young, and Thomas became a disappointment. That is why they spoiled mother and her sisters so much and in turn Kala and myself. They loved children.”

  “At least they had your family,” a hush fell over them for a whi
le. They finished their soup and a footman brought out the next course. “How did you spend your day?”

  “Well, first I woke very early to a horrible headache.”

  “And who’s fault would that be?”

  “No one but my own,” he acknowledged, dipping his head in acknowledgement of her question. “Then as you said, I anxiously awaited the arrival of my new stud and saw him properly set up. After seeing Kala off, my steward and I rode and met with some tenants. There are a lot of things that need to be done around here. In fact more than I thought.”

  “Really? Like what?”

  “The crops have not done well the last few years. I think I need to study up on a rotation schedule for planting. I also want to look at purchasing livestock, but I’m not sure which would fare better here, sheep or cattle. And of course, there is the new stud horse.” A roll of thunder punctuated the end of his sentence. “It sounds like another storm is rolling in.”

  “Yes, it does. So how much experience do you have with crop rotation and raising livestock?”

  “Only what I have read in books. There were some lectures in London I had hoped to attend.”

  “And now you can’t because of me,” she stated, not expecting an answer. “If you need to go back to London I will be fine here by myself. Or I could even go back with you.”

  “Absolutely not. There will be time for lectures later. I may send my steward instead. Do you have a preference of livestock?”

  “Sheep are very ornery and can be stupid creatures.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Many shepherds lived around our village, and I remember how cantankerous the sheep could be. They do not follow commands. I also remember on several occasions we would have fierce storms come through and there would be several sheep lost because they would not move to higher ground.”

  “That is something to consider,” Derek mused as the first splatters of rain hit the windows. A footman brought in a light dessert of fruit and cream at that point. Derek watched his wife nibble away at a strawberry and felt his nerves tingle as he imagined that mouth nibbling on him.

  “These are delicious.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” A lightning strike lit up the room followed by a loud clap of thunder. The encroaching storm seemed to increase the tension in the room.

  “Why have you not had much experience with farming practices?” She asked.

  “Da’ is a tutor, not a farmer. He saw me educated in the areas he felt important and needless to say he didn’t expect his son to be a land owner. Da’ wanted me to follow in his footsteps and become a tutor or professor, but I never had any interest in following that route. Instead I spent most of my adult life in the War Office and training for spy work. I never gave much consideration to what I would do once I abandoned that profession, or rather it abandoned me.”

  “You miss it,” Tessa guessed.

  “Sometimes.”

  “Will you ever go back to it?”

  “My leg put paid to that. I will spend the rest of my life as a gentleman farmer and perhaps fighting in Parliament for the plight of farmers.”

  “And your work with the War Office?”

  “As long as they need me, I will do what I can on this side of the channel, mostly deciphering code.” Silence descended on them for several long minutes. Tessa watched the storm roll over the countryside.

  “Can you tell me anything about your life when I knew you before?”

  “It was dangerous, but we found times to enjoy ourselves. Most of my work involved making contacts. You see my mission at the time involved winning Portugal over to England’s side permanently. My director sent me to Portugal, which is where we met. Portugal became a land of contention between England and France.”

  “How did we spend our free time?”

  “We actually lived in a little village in the North of Portugal near the Spanish border, trying to stay out of Junot’s sight. I was to eventually make my way South to Lisbon to meet with contacts and aid them in establishing a defense against Junot. Despite facing imminent siege from the French, the people of the village were a boisterous group. The villagers held celebrations for the least little thing and openly welcomed us into their town. They never bothered a soul, which made it all the harder when the attack occurred.”

  Tessa stared at Derek seeing him, but not. Images flashed through her mind.

  A group of men, women, and children danced around a large bonfire in the village square. Music and laughter echoed off the hills. The people of the village were always so kind to them. Her father often had meetings he would disappear for, though she knew not why with his being a Captain in the military. In those events, Derek escorted her when she needed something from the village, but most of the time she spent alone.

  “Good afternoon, Contessa.”

  “Lieutenant.”

  “Your father said you might like to go into the village tomorrow afternoon?” She nodded shyly, and he grinned. Then he and her father secreted themselves away after supper.

  Several weeks later, the three of them rode into the village after seeing a priest at a monastery. She felt elated. They were riding into a celebration, and Derek leaned over to kiss her lightly and gently squeezed her hands. The first sound of fireworks exploding in the background...

  “Tessa.” Derek’s voice startled her out of her memories. He pushed back his chair and quickly moved to her side. “What’s wrong?”

  “I remember!” she exclaimed excitedly. “The village. The bonfire and celebration. The women were so nice to me. Children always running around. Oh, my goodness, my father,” she placed her palms on her cheeks, “Derek, I remember my father. And you,” she said softly, dropping her hands into her lap. She lifted one to caress his cheek. “I remember you and returning to the village and seeing all the festivities. You leaned over and kissed me. I remember being so excited! Was it our wedding celebration?” she asked excitedly.

  “Yes,” he gave her hand an encouraging squeeze where it still rested against his cheek. “What else do you remember?”

  “I remember being a little sad, but I can’t recall why,” she shook her head, leaning her forehead gently against his. They stared into each other’s eyes like that for a few moments while he gently caressed her cheek.

  “Come, let’s sit in the library for a while and enjoy the storm.” He pulled her to her feet, and they walked arm in arm unaware of the person that had braved the weather and watched them carefully through the window.

  * * *

  The onlooker heard Tessa exclaim that she remembered when she yelled so loudly. “Damn,” he muttered under his breath. He had hoped he wouldn’t have to do anything drastic, but it didn’t seem it would work out that way. He looked back into the dining room and saw the couple had left the room.

  Unable to do anything for the moment, he had to think, make plans. She had to be terminated. Blackburn could even now be making plans to hunt him down, and that would not work at all. Nor would it help his counterpart in the War Office. He looked up as the sky dumped a deluge upon him. First, though, he needed to get out of this blasted weather.

  * * *

  Derek lit the fireplace while Tessa kicked off her shoes and settled herself on the settee. The storms that had moved through the last few nights were one of the indications of the change from summer to fall. The cooler nights were another transformation. He moved to the door, quietly closing it and turning the lock.

  “May I?” he asked seeking her permission to join her.

  “Please,” she nodded, curled into one corner.

  He lowered himself down on the other end, stretching his legs in front of him. A torrential rain had just begun along with frequent thunder and lightning. “This weather is not fit for man or beast.”

  “No,” she agreed as small hailstones began to pelt the windows. Tessa curled further into herself.

  “Here,” Derek said, pulling a throw from his end and handing it to her.

&
nbsp; “Thank you,” she smiled softly, pulling it around her. “Derek, I am getting very close to remembering everything, aren’t I?”

  “Yes. I would say you are only missing the time we’ve been apart.”

  “That is the time that scares me the most, I think,” she muttered softly.

  “We still have a little over a week.” He watched her nod and catch her lower lip in her teeth, worrying it. Derek itched to capture that lip himself. He shifted slightly to ease the tightness in his breeches. “Tessa, I must apologize.”

  “For?” She queried turning her head curiously towards him.

  “Last night.”

  “And what about yesterday?”

  “I’m sorry, but no. You and Kala took an unnecessary risk yesterday, and though I think Gabe might have been a little too harsh with Kala, you were both wrong. If I were honest with myself, I would admit to wanting to take you over my knee.”

  “You wouldn’t,” she sat up, indignant.

  “I might,” he said huskily.

  She pulled her feet back underneath her and resettled herself. “I will agree that Kala and I should not have acted so impulsively,” she shivered, remembering the fawn hanging dead in the folly. “I put her in danger and I would have never forgiven myself if something had happened to her.”

  “When are you going to start worrying about yourself instead of everyone else?” Derek asked harshly. Tessa did not respond, and he felt he shouldn’t push the subject. They sat in silence for a long while until he heard a soft snuffling sound coming from her end of the couch. He stood and walked around to see her eyes closed and her breathing even. She must be exhausted.

  Derek moved to the bookshelves and found a book on crop cultivation. He lit a lamp and took it and the book to his desk. After finding some paper, he settled in to learn what he could about crop rotation and harvesting.

  Chapter 20

  Explosions surrounded her. She watched Derek and his horse fall and ran towards him but never reached him. Something intercepted her before she could reach him and toppled her to the ground. No, not something, someone, and they whispered in her ear, “Don’t move. I love you.” The explosions drowned out his words and he became incredibly still.