A Traitorous Heart

by Tammy Jo Burns

  The men realized where they were and broke apart from each other, panting harshly. Derek worried at Tessa’s coughing that she could not seem to catch her breath. He sat up and touched her, hoping something he did would ease her coughing.

  “Take a deep breath, sweetheart,” Derek coaxed. She took several, before oblivion overcame her. “Tessa, Tessa!” Derek caught her and pulled her into the cradle of his body just as she collapsed.

  “Derek, leave her. It is probably for the best until we get her home. I sent a lad for a hack. It will not be clean, but then neither are we,” Gabe looked at the soot that covered his clothes. The carriage came around and the lad jumped off the back and scurried around to open the door for them.

  “Where’re you headed, gent?” The driver called down.

  “St. James’ Square.”

  “Aye. The strand is crowded with carriages from the fire. It will take longer, but it would be best if we took a longer route.”

  “That’s fine.” Derek nodded stiffly knowing it would be faster in the end. He shifted to stand, not letting her touch the ground any more than she already did when the director rushed to help him. “Do not touch her,” he snarled, and the man quickly backed off. Gabe already sat in the hackney and Derek lifted her to him until he crawled in himself. He settled her against him as Mack climbed in. Gabe shut the door, rapped the roof, and the hack lurched into motion.

  “What the hell do you think you’re about?”

  “I merely want to know that she is going to be all right.”

  “Derek?” Gabe asked, but Derek didn’t answer so absorbed was he in his wife and her current condition.

  Chapter 34

  The men rode in silence to Derek’s house. Derek’s eyes never strayed from Tessa, making certain her chest continued to rise and fall even though her breathing appeared to be slightly labored and erratic. Hawkescliffe and McKenzie also watched her carefully. Derek went back and forth between berating himself for not being there and cursing her for disobeying his command. But then he hadn’t really commanded her to stay home, merely said that he would not be able to take her.

  He combed his fingers through her long curls and the smell of singed hair wafted up to him. Derek found himself hoping that she would not have to cut too much of her hair. One of his greatest comforts over the last month had been being able to play with the silken length of her tresses. Another round of coughing began to rack her body. Unsure what to do, Derek pulled her to him and patted her back, hoping something might help her. He felt her move in his arms and loosened his grip.

  She pulled away and blinked owlishly at the three men in the carriage. Tessa took a deep breath, coughing once more, but this time she did not lose consciousness. She looked from her husband, to his best friend, to his boss and back to her husband. All three men stared at her in return making her feel like a specimen being scrutinized. She sniffed the air and smelled acrid smoke, burned cloth and hair.

  “Is that me?” she asked the men as she scrunched her nose. She watched their expressions and saw that none of them wanted to answer her, giving her their reply without voicing it. Tessa didn’t know whether or not to broach the next item of interest now or wait until they arrived at the house. The decision was taken from her as the carriage came to a halt. One by one they descended.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Derek turned on McKenzie.

  “Stop!” Tessa stamped her foot. “Everyone inside now, and you will be civil to one another,” she said. “Someone pay the driver,” she swished her soot covered skirts and entered the house sweeping past Ramsey, the sound of her coughing spilling outside into the night. The men looked at each other, shrugged, then followed her inside.

  Upon entering the study, they were surprised to see Richard, Dru and Kala. Dru and Kala quickly surrounded Tessa, hugging her regardless of how she looked or smelled bringing tears to her eyes that she fought hard to keep at bay.

  “What are you doing here?” Tessa croaked.

  “Derek was at our home when the stable lad came to get him. We feared what might happen and decided to drive over and make certain everyone came home in one piece,” Dru answered looking pointedly at Derek and Mack. “Then on the way we saw the flames and heard about the fire. I am just so glad everyone is all right.”

  “There were some close moments and my lungs feel like they are full of smoke, but we are fine.” Dru hugged her hard then introduced her to Richard before Tessa pulled out of her arms and faced the group. She looked at the group of people staring at her. “Danny is responsible for the fire. I don’t know how, but he is. I saw him twice tonight. The first time I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I caught a glimpse of him outside the theater before he disappeared in the crowd.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Mack demanded of her.

  “Tell you what, Director? I thought I saw him? What would you have done? Emptied the theater and searched each person one by one? He would have disappeared by then. I searched the crowd desperately, but didn’t see him again and thought my mind had begun to play tricks on me. Then when the fire started, I looked down into the auditorium, and there he stood at the back, watching me. He nodded his head in my direction then slipped out in the mass of people. I know he started the fire. I felt like someone watched me throughout the entire performance.”

  “And why weren’t you with her when the fire broke out?” Hawkescliffe demanded of McKenzie.

  “I received a message from my secretary that an informant wanted to make contact. We were to meet at the Market. I slipped out right before intermission and when I returned, after the person failed to show up, the theater was engulfed in flames.”

  “Is it unusual for this particular informant not to show up?” Gabe questioned.

  “You are questioning me?” the Director blustered.

  “We are attempting to find out what exactly happened and who exactly is responsible,” Richard interjected calmly.

  “Well I’m bloody well not.”

  “No one thinks that,” Richard said, “but what about this secretary of yours? Is he trustworthy?”

  “Absolutely. I hired him myself,” the Director replied indignantly.

  “That does not necessarily mean anything,” Gabe said under his breath. Derek heard him and looked at him knowing exactly what he referenced.

  “Let’s say he isn’t trustworthy,” Derek interjected, “then that would mean that he deliberately lured you away from the theater, away from my wife.”

  “You’re saying you believe Smith to be involved with the events of tonight?” the Director probed.

  “How else do you explain it?” Derek fired back. “You were staying next to her and no one could get close. They would know that going into this evening. Daniel would want Tessa left alone because her chances of survival would drop dramatically without one of us present. He needs her dead because that is his best chance at survival. My guess is somehow he has lured your secretary into this mess.”

  “Until we have proof, there is nothing to be done about Smith,” McKenzie proclaimed defensively.

  “I concur,” Derek agreed, “but I would keep an eye on him. Perhaps let him see false information and watch what happens.”

  “Bloody hell,” McKenzie slammed a fist into the mantel. “Can you trust no one now?”

  “I do believe that is the first rule you imparted to us, Director,” Gabe responded, taking pleasure in throwing his half-brother’s words back at him.

  Tessa yawned widely, causing another round of coughing to overtake her. “If everyone will excuse me, I find I can barely keep my eyes open,” she announced as the coughing abated.

  “Do I need to send for a doctor?” Dru asked worriedly.

  “Oh, Miss Tessa, you’re all right then?” Lucas came to a sliding halt outside the study door.

  “Yes, I am,” she said seeing the relief on his face. “I swear to all of you, I will be fine. If I am no better tomorrow, I will make certain Derek sends for McG
regor. Good night, everyone.”

  “Good night,” everyone murmured back and made their way to the front door, taking their leave. Tessa stood at the base of the stairs until they had all left then turned to make her way up the stairs. She stumbled on a step and felt herself floating in the air. “Ahh!”

  “I’ve got you,” Derek murmured as he swung her up in his arms.

  “Blackburn, I can walk,” she said kicking her legs.

  “Humor me.” He felt her slowly relax in his arms, and she draped her arm around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder. “Would you like a bath?”

  “In the morning. I’m too exhausted,” she coughed again, but it did not sound as harsh as earlier. Derek crossed into his bedroom and kicked shut the door. He walked over to the bed and gently sat her on her feet then quickly went about removing her clothes. He felt an overwhelming sense of love and tenderness toward her and merely wanted to take care of her and see to her needs. Once he had her stripped of her clothes, he pulled down the coverlet and sheets and sat her on the edge of the bed.

  “Don’t move,” he instructed. He waited until she nodded wearily before moving away. Derek moved across the room and poured some water into the basin and gathered up both it and a washcloth before returning to his wife. He set down the basin, dipped and wrung out the cloth and tenderly began removing traces of the soot that covered Tessa.

  “I want to apologize for earlier,” he began.

  “Which time?”

  “There were quite a few stellar moments weren’t there?” Tessa merely looked at him as he continued to minister to her. “First, I am sorry for making you feel cheap and used.”

  “I find I hold some responsibility in that area. I should have known better than to suggest a divorce. But,” he held his breath dreading the possibilities of what she might say, “I also find that I enjoyed our loving then as well,” she worried her lip and looked at him shyly.

  “I did too,” he kissed her softly on the lips.

  “Until you left and threw the bathing sheet at me like I should be ashamed of what we did, of my body.”

  “As I said, it was in poor form and I behaved badly, forgive me.”

  Tessa simply nodded her head, enjoying the way he took care of her.

  “I know you want me to apologize for fighting with McKenzie, but I cannot. If something had happened to you, I fear I would have killed him. I can’t believe how close I came to losing you a second time tonight, and this time it would have been permanent. If I had not gotten to you before that catwalk collapsed,” he stopped on a shudder. Derek dropped the cloth in the basin and placed it against the wall, out of the way. Then he looked at his wife once more, saying a thankful prayer that the Lord spared her life once again and promising he would not take her for granted any longer. He wrapped his arms around her bare waist and rested his head on her midriff. He relished in the feel of her fingers running through his hair.

  He pulled back and looked at her, staring into her eyes. Derek captured her face in his hands and looked at her with great intensity. “Tessa, I do love you,” he found himself saying. “Those were not words that I just said to get you to jump to me, to trust me. I truly love you. And I understand that you might not yet feel the same way, but I will wait until you do,” he kissed her and this time his kiss tasted different if that were possible. She found herself tumbling along with him and almost declared her feelings, when he pulled back and said, “Now crawl in and I will get ready for bed as well.”

  Derek quickly undressed and followed her into bed after sponging off himself. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly and relishing in the fact that his wife lived. How long before they were able to apprehend this man who threatened her life? As he held her, he found he desperately wished she had said those three words, but instead she had already fallen into a deep and dreamless sleep.

  * * *

  The late morning sun filtered through the drapes of their bedroom. Tessa blinked sleepily awake. She felt a weight across her stomach and saw Derek asleep on his stomach, his head turned towards her. He looked so peaceful. She thought back to the way he had tenderly taken care of her then hugged her as if she would slip away from him if he did not hold her tight enough.

  She rolled onto her side and placed a tender kiss on his lax mouth. Tessa tunneled her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. She kissed him again, trying to deepen the kiss and coax him awake. She found she needed to celebrate the fact that they both lived in the most elemental of ways. Finally she felt him responding.

  Derek broke off the kiss, rolling onto his side so he could more fully be an active participant. He smiled at her with that lopsided grin she had become so fond of. He trailed his hand from her shoulder down her arm to entwine his fingers with hers. He then bent over her and kissed her deeply and tenderly.

  Tessa felt overwhelmed by emotion and knew she had to tell him how she felt. It would be criminal if she let this man continue to think his feelings were not reciprocated. She reluctantly pulled away from him and stayed him with a hand to his shoulder when he would have come closer.

  “Derek, there’s something I must tell you,” she began. “I have felt this way for some time, but have been frightened to share with you.”

  “What is it, love?” he asked tenderly, girding himself for whatever she might say.

  “I love you,” she whispered. “I should have told you last night, but, well...”

  “Oh sweetheart,” he moaned falling on her like a starving man. Although she relished the rawness of their coupling yesterday, this one contained so much tenderness and love, that she could not hold back the tears that came to her eyes. His every touch made her feel loved, cherished, and wanted. He didn’t begin to seek his fulfillment until he had been certain she had reached her pinnacle several times. Only then did he coax her to join him once more as they tumbled over the precipice together calling out words of love and vowing promises of forever.

  Chapter 35

  When she next awoke, it was to wracking coughs. She felt herself panicking when she couldn’t catch her breath. Tessa rolled over rising up on her hands and knees attempting to catch her breath. Vaguely she thought she heard splashing but found herself so caught up in trying to breathe that she ignored it.

  “Tessa, relax, I’m here,” Derek’s deep voice resonated in the room. “Try to breathe,” he rubbed her back gently. He watched her shake her head. “Shh, don’t fight it,” he said softly like he would gentle a horse. “You need to get all the smoke out of your lungs.” Finally after what seemed like hours of coughing, she collapsed against the bed panting for breath and sweating. She felt him caressing her bare collarbone.

  “I’m fine,” she croaked. Tessa finally took a good look at him. His hair was wet, and he only had a bathing sheet draped around his hips. “You took a bath,” she accused, knowing that she still smelled of smoke and tar.

  “Yours is being readied,” his face belied the concern he still felt.

  “I promise I am fine,” she said, caressing his freshly shaved cheek.

  “Tessa, I can’t lose you again.” She started to say something but he halted her. “Before, I didn’t realize what I would miss if I lost you. Now you have become such an integral part of my life that I don’t know what I would do without you, how I would go on. I love you,” he finished.

  “I love you, too, Derek,” she responded tugging him down for a kiss. They were interrupted by a knock at the door.

  “That’s your bath.”

  “That is the only thing that could pull me away from you right now,” she whispered back, kissing him once more before pushing him away. She quickly wrapped herself in the sheet then scampered to the connecting room and a nice long soak. Tessa found herself drifting off in the bath when a knock sounded on the door. “Go away,” she called sleepily. She heard the door open and said, “Derek, go away. I want to enjoy my bath.”

  “I’m not Derek,” a familiar, raspy voice said from the doorway.
“And I will make myself scarce if you would like.”

  “Kala, come in!” Tessa said excitedly. “I’ve missed you!”

  “I’ve missed you, too! How are you feeling?”

  “I’ll be fine once I’ve expelled everything I breathed in last night.”

  “How bad was it?” Kala asked curiously.

  “I am happy that we survived and that is all I am saying on the subject. How is your voice?”

  “Much the same as you can hear. I’m becoming used to it. Do you need help washing your hair?”

  “That would be heavenly. I’m not sure how much we are going to have to trim after last night.”

  “There are quite a few singed spots, but I am certain Sarah will be able to work a miracle.” The women worked silently before Kala broached another subject. “Dru told me you’ve gotten your entire memory back.”

  “Yes.”

  “Well?”

  “Kala, I really don’t want to talk about it.” The silence in the room became awkward and Tessa knew she had hurt Kala’s feelings. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I am still getting used to knowing everything about myself. I have only shared my memories with two people, your brother and Director McKenzie.”

  “Speaking of Director McKenzie,” Kala jumped quickly to the new topic, “tell me what you think about him.”

  “I thought you were in love with Gabe.”

  “I thought so too, but you saw how he reacted that day. Did he act like a man who might even remotely appear to have feelings for me? No, and I refuse to be treated like that by any man. A Mr. Dewhurst from America called on me recently. He is a horseman looking to add bloodlines to his racehorses.”

  “I met him last night. He stopped by the box and inquired about you.”

  “What did you think about him?”

  “I’m not sure. There seemed to be something about him that made me uneasy.”

  “You’re just overly sensitive with all that is going on. And what do you know about Director McKenzie? He is quite handsome and there is something about him that seems very familiar.”