by Luna, David
“Migraines with aura, mostly when I’m under stress and my insulin has been off. Yeah, I’m feeling like that’s part of what’s going on with me right now.” He reached up and gingerly touched where his head had been injured and winced. “The rest is centered right here, where he slammed my head against the car window.”
Cade growled, curling his hands into fists, and Braden rubbed his casted wrist along Cade’s thigh to calm him. Dr. Himmel gave them both a sympathetic look. “What medications do you usually take for your migraines?”
“Imitrex.”
Dr. Himmel nodded. “OK, good. That’s safe for you to take right now. How is the pain from your other injuries?”
“Not good. I’m feeling pretty awful.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. You were held captive without your insulin for over twenty four hours and severely beaten by your kidnapper. It’s going to take your body some time to heal. I’m going to have Samantha here draw some blood, and take your blood pressure. Let me ask a few more questions then we’ll run a few tests. In the meantime, I’ll place the order for Imitrex and other pain meds.”
Cade caressed Braden’s arm. “Bray, do you still have your contacts in? If you’ve been wearing them since Eric abducted you, they’re probably shot and contributing to your pain.”
Braden blinked his gritty eyes and nodded. His dexterity wasn’t what it should have been, so it took him several tries. A few grumbled expletives later, frustrated more than was warranted, he pinched the offending lenses out of his eyes, handed them to Cade and fell back against the bed, strangely exhausted.
Cade kissed him softly on the crown of his head. “I think I asked Maya to bring your glasses. Let me see if she did.”
Cade got off the bed, tossed the contacts, and dug into the bag that was in the reclining chair beside them. He came up with Braden’s glasses case, took them out and handed them over. He could tell the pain hadn’t lessened when Braden winced again and rubbed at his temples. Cade got back onto the bed with him and they waited for the doctor.
Dr. Himmel continued to tap in his updates on the iPad and then looked up. “Do you have any specific concerns besides those we’re going to alleviate with the meds?”
“When I was first waking up, I felt like I was weighed down. I couldn’t move. I tried my arms, my legs, my head, my entire body. Now I can move everything, it’s just painful. Is there a reason for that?”
“That’s actually a pretty common feeling coming out of a coma, especially if you’ve been through some physical trauma. Essentially, your brain was having a hard time getting signals to your body. So now that your brain is basically back online, the signals your brain sends to the rest of your body are working. When you were comatose, those signals weren’t getting through. Does that make sense?”
Braden nodded. “Do I need to worry about it happening again, not being able to move? And I know this is probably a stupid question, but am I in danger of going back into a coma?”
Dr. Himmel smiled. “No questions about your health are stupid. You shouldn’t have any further issues, and you’re not in danger of lapsing back into a coma. You were in a coma because you hadn’t gotten your insulin, and you stayed in a coma longer than you would have, I believe, as a result of your other injuries. I think your body just needed a little more time. Is there anything else?”
Braden blushed. “Yeah, when can I get all the tubes out?” He gently touched the tube that was coming out of his nose. “I’m fine with this thing, if I’m still getting meds and fluids that way, but can I have the others taken out?”
“Do you feel like you can walk?”
Cade couldn’t keep himself from interjecting. “If he can’t walk himself, I’ll carry him. Please have everything removed as he’s asked.”
Dr. Himmel smiled patiently. “We’ll send a nurse in to get the catheters, but I’d like to keep the nasogastric tube in place. The NG tube delivers food, but also all of your meds directly into your stomach, which means they are able to work much faster. We can remove it in the morning and then start you on some simple, easy to digest foods as we monitor your glucose levels. I’ll evaluate the test results once the lab issues them to me, and I’ll be back in a few hours to check on your meds and everything else. We’re glad you’re back with us, Braden. Cade has been worried, and you’ve had a lot of family and friends here to visit. I’ll see you in a bit.”
The doctor went out the door and the nurse stayed for several minutes doing what she needed to do to get the tests underway. She smiled at Braden. “I’ll be your main nurse while you’re here. You can call me Sam. Let me get this blood sample to the lab, and I’ll be back in a bit.”
When another nurse came in to remove the catheters, Cade asked if Braden wanted to have some privacy, but regretted it immediately. He hated the stark fear that leapt into Braden’s eyes at the thought of him leaving.
Sam came back with several syringes, which she injected into Braden’s NG, telling them that the meds should ease his pain fairly quickly. When she left, Cade turned all of the remaining lights off and lowered the bed when he saw Braden fading. “Do you want to change positions and try your side?”
When Braden nodded, Cade helped move him to the far side of the bed, then helped him roll onto his right side to avoid aggravating his injuries. “Would you be more comfortable holding onto some pillows? I can sit in the chair next to you.”
Braden shook his head and reached his hand toward Cade. “Mmm-mm. Please.”
Cade lowered himself gently onto the bed. Braden lifted his head, and Cade slid his arm under it. Braden snuggled up next to him, gently placing his leg over Cade’s and leaning his head on his chest. Holding Braden in his arms made him feel whole again. He vowed to never take being with Braden for granted.
Braden started to apologize for needing him, so Cade kissed him on the head and shushed him. “No more apologizing. We have time to talk about everything later. Right now, I need to do my job and take care of you. You’re exhausted and in pain, so I need you to sleep for me, OK? I’m going to wait until tomorrow morning to call Nana and Maya. I know they’d head over here no matter the hour, but I think you need some time to rest.”
Cade heard Braden sigh and felt him nod against his chest. His smaller body began to slowly relax against Cade’s own, and he knew from the way Braden’s grip loosened its hold on him that he was sleeping. Cade kissed Braden’s head again and rubbed his wide palm soothingly up and down Braden’s back. This moment felt like a culmination of everything he’d been hoping, and if he was honest, praying for since the moment Braden had been taken from him. He was so grateful that everything he needed in the world was sleeping in his arms right then.
Sam came to check on him. She glanced up from his monitor and caught Cade’s eyes. “The drugs kick in?”
“Yeah, hopefully he sleeps the rest of the night.”
Nodding, she walked toward them, lifted the call button cord and wrapped it around the railing on the side of the bed. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to push it.” She patted Cade on the shoulder and smiled warmly at Braden.
As she turned to walk out, Cade whispered, “Thank you, Sam.”
Cade woke up around 8:30 a.m. and was surprised that he’d slept that late, until he realized that Braden was still asleep, cuddled up next to him. Sam had come in the middle of the night to administer a second dose of all meds to allow Braden to sleep as peacefully as possible. He’d had a rough night of pain and bad dreams, waking several times in a panic, only being reassured by Cade’s presence, his voice, and his touch.
He lay there for a while, listening to Braden breathing, again feeling so thankful that he had Braden back in his arms. Careful not to wake him, Cade reached for his phone which was charging next to the bed and texted his business partner and best friend.
Cade: Braden out of coma. Let Maya, Nana, S & J know. Give us at least an hour before you head over and keep visitors to u 3 today.
Cooper: Thank f
uck. See you in a bit.
Cade was about to respond when he felt Braden shift and let out a low moan. He rubbed his hand lightly through Braden’s hair and felt him flinch away from his touch and whimper. Frowning, he whispered soothing words which seemed to calm him immediately, and he dropped back to sleep. Cade gave it a few minutes before lifting his phone again and texting.
Cade: Will be a rough day. Text when u arrive. Might need to keep people out.
Cooper: Will do. They’re going to want to know, is he going to be OK?
Cade: Eventually.
Cooper: I want at this guy.
Cade: Get in line.
He messaged his family and let them know that Braden was awake, but that it would be best to wait another day to come to the hospital. He set his phone aside and rested a little while longer, not wanting to let Braden go.
Before he realized it, nearly an hour had passed. Cade needed to use the bathroom, and knew he didn’t have much time before Braden woke up and the ladies showed up with Cooper. He slowly extricated himself from underneath Braden, strategically placing a couple of pillows around him to keep him calm, so he wouldn’t think he was alone. The fact that he didn’t wake him up was testament to the meds they’d administered and the exhaustion that must still be weighing him down.
He quickly used the toilet, remembering he had a change of clothes. He checked on Braden to be sure he was still sleeping, took a quick shower, changed his clothes and brushed his teeth. As he was walking out of the bathroom, his cell vibrated, notifying him of an incoming text. Making sure Braden was still asleep, he checked his phone and went to the door to head off Cooper and the ladies.
He walked through the door and saw them coming down the hall. Approaching them, he gave each of them a hug. “He’s still sleeping. The meds they gave him last night knocked him out.”
Maya narrowed her eyes and glared at him. “What the hell do you mean, last night?”
Cade glanced down at Maya. “He came out of the coma last evening.”
Maya’s anger was palpable. “And you didn’t think that his own grandmother and best friend would want to be notified?”
Tilting his head, he looked at her curiously. “I wasn’t concerned with what you wanted, at the time, no.”
She wanted to yell, of that he was sure, but she kept herself to a loud whisper, so as not to draw attention. “Are you fucking kidding me with this right now?”
Nana put her arm around Maya and tried to comfort her, but she was having none of it. “Let me explain something to you, McCade! We’ve been with him for years! You don’t get to come in here, having known him for a hot second and take over and keep us out of the loop. Just because you don’t care how we feel, doesn’t mean he doesn’t!”
Mildly frustrated with the way things were turning out, he took in a deep breath and said what needed to be said. “Maya, I do care, which is why you’re here. And frankly, I think Braden cares too much and is worried about everyone but himself, which is why I’m here. Braden woke last evening, disoriented and panicked, and when he realized what happened, he completely broke down. He was struggling with a lot of pain from his injuries and he had a huge migraine.
What he needed last night was rest. The only reason I’m out here with you is because he’s asleep. He’s scared out of his mind and having bad dreams, and so far I’ve been able to soothe him. So, I’m sorry if I wasn’t concerned with what you wanted, I was concerned with what he needed.”
Maya, looking chastened, opened her mouth to say something, when they all heard Braden call out for him and then again, much louder, panicked. Cade turned and ran, tossing back to Cooper in Dari, the Persian dialect they’d learned in Afghanistan, “Keep them out, until I say otherwise.”
When he got into the room, it was still fairly dark, as he’d kept the curtains drawn and the lights off. Braden was in a full blown panic, sitting up, looking around frantically, having thrown off his covers as if he was going to get out of bed. Cade sat on the edge of the bed and captured Braden’s face in his hands. “I’m here, Bray. I’m here.”
Braden’s body was shaking violently, and Cade cursed himself for having left him, even for a second. He wouldn’t make that mistake again. He gathered him gently in his arms, rocking him. Braden gripped him hard. “You were gone,” He released a shaky breath. “Don’t… Please, just don’t leave.”
Knowing he’d put Braden through such panic killed him. “Baby, I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. You’re with me, you’re safe.”
Braden’s eyes were still filled with fear. “I’m sorry, I just can’t be away from you right now.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who’s sorry, I shouldn’t have stepped out. I didn’t leave you, Bray. I was just outside the door, speaking with Maya and Nana. They came to see you. I thought you were sleeping soundly, and I didn’t want to wake you.”
Cade moved the bed into a sitting position, gathered Braden onto his lap and continued to hold him. Braden curled up, tucked his head underneath Cade’s chin, and fidgeted with the cast on his left hand. “I panicked. I just remember it seemed like every time I woke up there, he beat me. Every time I wake up now, I feel like he’s going to be there. I knew, in my head, that you were here somewhere, but I kept thinking he would show up instead.”
Cade’s jaw clenched and his arms tightened around him. “Fuck, Braden, I’m so sorry we didn’t find you faster. I failed you when you needed me most.”
Braden shook his head, crying silently. “No, don’t you see? I failed you! I made it impossible. I left my watch, my phone, and my ring with the tracer on it; all of the things that would help you find me. I thought I was doing what was best, keeping those I love safe, but I realize how stupid that was. How could I have gone with him? I chose to go with him!”
“Braden, we have time to go through all of that later, but for right now, I know you’re still hurting. I know your migraine is still bothering you and that you probably need some more meds. Let me call the nurse.”
Braden shook his head again. “Can you help me take a shower?”
“Braden, you’re exhausted, let’s do that later.”
Braden’s body shuddered. “I can’t. I have to do it now. I can’t have him on me. He touched me, Zavier. I have to get clean. I feel filthy.”
Cade stopped caressing Braden, his whole body stilled with tension. “Braden, did he…The doctors said he didn’t… That motherfucker, I’m gonna kill him!”
Braden realized what Cade was referring to and finally looked up at him, but Cade’s eyes were squeezed shut. Braden raised his hand to softly touch his face, which had him popping his anguished eyes open and looking down at him. He shook his head, his voice much stronger. “No. No, nothing like that. I was either passed out or in a coma, which I think is the only reason he didn’t. I just still feel him touching me, and I’m sure I smell awful. I just want to feel clean and wash the experience off of me. Will you help me?”
“Of course. There’s a seat in there, too. Let me call the nurse, so they can detach the NG and cover up your cast to keep it dry.”
Sam came in and helped to fully remove the NG and brought a long plastic glove to cover Braden’s cast. She helped them remove all of his bandages, said it was alright for them to wash the areas with soap and that she’d come back in half an hour with more meds. Cade locked them in the bathroom and slowly removed their clothing. He turned on the shower and had Braden sit under the hot spray, letting the water soothe his tired body. He washed and conditioned Braden’s hair and then helped clean the rest of him quickly but thoroughly.
He got Braden into some fresh clothes, and already he could tell Braden felt more like himself. He smiled as he took the remote control and lowered the head of the bed just a bit. Sam came back in, this time with pain meds in pill form that Braden tossed back. He was getting drowsy, but insisted on seeing Nana and Maya, so Cade texted Cooper that they were ready.
It was only a minute la
ter when all three of them appeared, clearly anxious to see him. Cade moved off of the bed to give everyone more room to see Braden, but Braden made a scared noise in the back of his throat and reached out to Cade, not wanting him to move away. Cade sat back down, tucked his arm behind Braden and could only feel sadness when Braden drew his legs up seeking protection and curled into him, sending a signal to everyone that he wasn’t ready to be touched.
Maya set down two coffee cups and a bag that contained breakfast for them. Braden, uninterested in food, and throat hurting from the NG tube removal, passed on breakfast and watched as Cade ate both meals and drank both coffees one handed, his other still tucked around Braden. While Braden chatted a little, it was mostly the ladies that kept the conversation going. Cade could tell Braden wasn’t tracking, he was so exhausted.
While Braden chatted with Maya and Nana, Cooper got his attention by lifting a bag. He pointed to the corner sink where he’d placed the sandwich cooler. Cade nodded his thanks that Braden wouldn’t have to be subjected to hospital food.
After they’d visited a little while longer and could see for themselves that Braden would eventually be alright, they made to leave. Nana slowly reached out to touch Braden on the back of his hand. He turned his over to clasp hers, and she brought it up to her cheek and held it there. Her tears fell silently as she whispered her love for him, kissed his hand, and told him she’d see him soon as she headed for the door with Cooper. Maya moved around to the other side of the bed, hugged Cade tightly and whispered, “I was out of line. I have no excuse for my behavior, but please know it was coming from a place of worry for Braden, and wasn’t about you. I’m sorry.”
Cade shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, Maya. I think we’re all under a lot of stress. Come see him tomorrow.”
She kissed him on the cheek, patted Braden’s shoulder and left. Cade watched her walk into the hallway and saw Cooper hugging Nana and then welcoming Maya into their embrace. He knew it was going to be a struggle for them to stay away and give Braden some space, but he knew they’d do it, nonetheless.
