by Luna, David
Braden had been enjoying the cadence of the men’s voices and the rhythm of the women’s. The next thing he knew, Cade was waking him. His face was aflame and he apologized.
Finn smiled and Braden relaxed under his watchful gaze. “You’re gonna get tired pretty easily, is my guess. Your body is getting over some significant trauma, not only from the concussion, but also the coma. Please pay attention to that for the next week or so and your recovery will go much smoother.”
Siobhan patted him on the shoulder. “Honey, please don’t worry about that. We pushed you too soon to come and meet us. That’s my fault. I begged Zavier to bring you.”
Braden smiled at Siobhan and thanked her. Cade’s voice was a quiet murmur in his ear. “The only reason I woke you is so I could get you home to bed.”
Braden had leaned into Cade and tipped his head toward him to hear his quiet words. He nodded and looked up at Cade, who leaned down again to kiss him softly. They stood and headed into the foyer. Rowan approached him first and gave him a tight hug. His ribs protested a bit, but he ignored them, as he was enjoying the genuine affection too much to put a stop to it. She told him she’d stop by the bakery in a week or so to see him and Maya again and they pulled apart and grinned at each other.
Braden knew that he had a new friend in Rowan and he couldn’t be happier. Next up was Siobhan with just as much enthusiasm in her hug, just less exuberance, thankfully. She clasped his face in her hands. “Don’t be a stranger, darling. Please come and see us in the next few weeks.”
Braden nodded and she kissed his cheek, and then Duncan approached and gave him a hug as well. “It was great to finally meet you, son. You’re welcome here anytime.”
Gideon approached and gave him one of those manly handshake hugs and Braden grinned, forgetting to be intimidated by Cade’s taciturn older brother. When Braden went to pull away from him, Gideon whispered loudly, “You’re perfect for my younger brother, Braden. Let me know if he doesn’t treat you well. I have a feeling I could do better.”
Braden’s eyes popped wide and he chuckled when he saw the twinkle in Gideon’s eyes before he turned away. When the comment hit its mark, Cade growled menacingly and attacked Gideon from behind with some kind of chokehold. Braden would have started to get nervous if he didn’t see Gideon wink at him before he did a few quick movements to get himself out of the chokehold and get Cade on the floor. Braden, mouth agape, looked at the two grown men wrestling on the foyer floor, and was startled when he felt hands on his shoulders pulling him out of the way. He looked back and saw Finn shaking his head at them. “They never could help themselves. It used to get bloody when Aiden would join in. Just don’t get caught in the fray.”
Braden watched, perplexed, when Rowan delicately stepped in the middle of powerful arms and legs, and strangely enough, the fighting stopped immediately. The brothers pulled apart from each other, careful of their little sister as they got up.
Siobhan grinned. “She’s my secret weapon. One day, in the middle of one of their worst fights, she jumped on top of them both, and what do you know, the fighting stopped immediately. From that moment forward, she’d choose when she felt the fights should be stopped and jump right in.”
Braden laughed at that and couldn’t help but be a little impressed with her. After Cade and Gideon were done with the good-natured ribbing that followed their scuffle, Braden said his last goodbyes to Finn. Finn patted his shoulder. “Take care of yourself for the next few weeks. Give yourself a break and allow yourself to heal.”
Braden promised he would and watched curiously as both Finn and Gideon followed them out and Duncan kept his arms around his wife and daughter at the door. He turned and waved at them as Cade led him down the front steps toward the driveway. When he turned back, he realized that Gideon had already gotten to their car and was checking the area around the front of the house. Finn brought up the rear and was following them. Braden’s stomach dropped and he crossed his arms over his chest to ward off a chill that he was sure wasn’t in the air. Cade leaned toward him. “Just precaution, Bray. I didn’t ask it of them, they are just being sure you’re safe and that the rest of my family is safe.”
Braden’s moaned, covered his face with his hands. “Jesus, you’d think I would have learned my lesson when we took Nana out to lunch. We should have waited to come here until he was caught.”
Gideon heard him and shook his head. “Everyone is perfectly safe, it’s just a precaution. You’re one of us now, and we protect what’s ours.”
Braden looked at Cade curiously, but Cade nodded and the look on his face let Braden know in no uncertain terms that Gideon was being completely serious about being protective of him. An overwhelming sense of security settled over Braden. He didn’t stop to think of his actions, he just walked to Gideon and enveloped him in a warm hug, and laid his head on Gideon’s chest. He wasn’t sure if Gideon would return such an embrace, as the manly, one-armed bro-hug Gideon gave him earlier was anything but intimate, but Braden didn’t have pretense in him at the moment, so whether Gideon liked it or not, here he was.
Braden needn’t have worried though. A few seconds later, probably to get over the shock, Gideon hugged him warmly and rubbed his back. When he pulled away, Braden had a hard time meeting Gideon’s eyes, a bit embarrassed that he’d been so overcome, not to mention he felt awful that he might have inadvertently put them in danger by coming to see them. He moved back to Cade who brought him in close.
Cade helped him into his seat, handed him his seatbelt, and then gave his brothers each a hug before folding himself into Braden’s car. Both of them let him know that if he needed help with anything at all, to give them a call. Feeling great about how the evening went, he placed his hand on Braden’s thigh as he backed out of the driveway and Braden waved to Cade’s family as they pulled out.
“Why weren’t you worried about Rowan when she came out to greet us?”
“A couple of reasons: one, Jackson and Sawyer were in their car following us to my parents’ house and if anything had happened, they would have been there to help us, and two, Cooper pulled out ahead of us and beat us there and checked out the surrounding area before we arrived. I promise you, my family is not in danger because of Eric, I’m just overly cautious with them, as I am with you.”
Braden nodded and was about to ask Cade a question, but he needn’t have worried. “My guys are staying on until Eric is behind bars. Maya and Nana will be safe, Braden.”
Braden leaned toward him and rubbed his leg with his casted hand. “Thank you.”
He relaxed into his seat and asked Cade to tell him more about his siblings. For the rest of the ride home, Cade did just that. Braden learned that all of them were trained in martial arts of some form or another, and they all knew how to handle firearms from a young age, as their father was career military and wanted them all to know how to take care of themselves and others, should it be needed. Finn was the resident genius of the family who graduated high school at sixteen and went to Johns Hopkins University for medical school. Cade told him about the sibling he hadn’t met, Aiden, his youngest brother and an active duty Navy SEAL who, when he retired from the Navy, would be groomed to become the new CEO of McCade Military Watches, taking over for their father. When he spoke of his sister, he called her brilliant and a proud smile spread over his face when he talked about her career as a highly sought after computer engineer. Finally, there was Gideon, who he said was a former Navy SEAL.
“What does Gideon do, now that he’s no longer in the military?”
He turned to look at Cade when he heard a funny sound and realized he was rubbing his face and his short, scruffy beard caused the noise. Braden looked away and blushed, thinking that a simple move like that shouldn’t be getting him worked up. He couldn’t help sneaking another glance, because really, his man was hot. Cade rubbed his hand over his mouth one more time and looked rather uncomfortable. “His official line is that he’s retired. But the reality is, he could tel
l us, but then he’d have to kill us. So, we just don’t ask.”
Braden whipped his head to look at Cade and laughed at the absurd use of that line. “He…. Wait, what?”
He watched Cade for a clue that he was teasing him, anything. There was nothing. No sign of amusement, no eye contact. Cade kept his gaze on the road. “Gideon isn’t like the rest of us, not really. Even when he was younger, he was different. I mean, we’re similar in that we all excelled in school and sports, but instead of those traits drawing people near, it set him apart. He became a SEAL and he was in his element.”
Braden listened with rapt attention, not wanting to interrupt Cade for fear that he’d stop talking about himself and his family.
“For a while, we could tell he was happier than he’d been in the past. Not that he chatted a lot, but he seemed settled. Something bad occurred late in his SEAL career, just before he left the teams. He won’t talk about it. Whatever it was, it took that glimpse of the contented Gideon away from us and he’s been different, even more closed down, ever since.”
Braden frowned. “Did you ask him directly?”
Cade nodded. “Yeah. Once he left the SEAL teams, he became more withdrawn. I tried to get information out of him, but the more I did, the less he came around, so I stopped. For a while, he was employed with a government organization—that much we know. I don’t think that’s the case any longer. I think he’s working on something locally, because he hasn’t been going on many trips lately, according to my parents. Other than that, like I said, we don’t ask.”
Braden gaped. Surprised didn’t even cover it. This was the stuff of movies, not real life. “You’re being serious.”
“Very.”
“So I should avoid asking him personal questions?”
Cade shrugged. “It’s up to you. He liked you and I don’t know many people I can say that about. Who knows what he’d tell you.”
Bewildered that the conversation had ended this way, he sat in silence the rest of the trip. He tried to picture Gideon as some top secret spy operative. As much as he wanted to be able to laugh it off and ignore Cade’s comments, he could see it. If it wasn’t for Cade’s admission, Braden would have just thought that Gideon was quiet, one of those brooders, a complete introvert. While that may be true, he didn’t doubt Cade’s words.
When they got back to Braden’s, he realized that Nana was already in bed and left her a note in case he didn’t see her in the morning. He tested his blood and they wasted no time getting ready for bed. Braden was exhausted and as much as he wanted to make love with Cade, he didn’t have the energy. Cade could see how tired he was and once they were in bed, Cade wrapped himself around Braden and held him until he went to sleep, following him in minutes.
Something wasn’t right. Braden felt it deep in his gut and that, if nothing else, was what woke him from a deep sleep. He heard the hardwood floor creak out in the foyer and knew they weren’t alone in the house. Did they set the alarm last night? Eric had gotten in, somehow he’d gotten in and he was coming for Braden. He reached his arm out to Cade to wake him as quietly as he could, not wanting to give away to Eric that he was awake. He shook Cade’s arm and got no response. Now was not the time for his soldier partner to sleep soundly. He turned to Cade to shake him a little harder, using his good hand instead, but what he saw made his breath catch and his stomach roil.
Blood, so much blood, everywhere. Where was it coming from? And then he saw it, Cade’s throat had been slit open, blood spreading out from the wound as he watched. Braden cried out in agony. He pushed himself off of Cade’s chest, backing himself toward the edge of the bed. His legs got caught in the blanket, causing him to sprawl backward onto the floor. He heard a shout and realized it must have been his as everything when black.
“Braden, can you hear me? Open your eyes, Bray. Come on.”
Braden heard Cade’s voice and his heartbeat accelerated. Cade was sitting next to him, looking at him with concern. How was that possible? He looked at Cade’s shirt. “Blood. Where’s the blood?”
“Braden, what blood? I woke up when you were thrashing around and then you cried out. You’re not bleeding.”
“No, you… You were bleeding. Your throat. He….”
“Baby, no. Look at me, I’m fine. You yelled out in your sleep. I woke you up. That’s all. I’m fine, look, no blood.”
Cade pulled him up to sit across his lap while Braden’s body convulsed in uncontrollable shivers, as if he was freezing. “You were dead. He killed you. He slit your throat and there was blood everywhere. Oh god, I thought you were dead.”
Cade held him tight and rocked him. “I’m fine. I’m all right, Braden.”
That’s where they were when Nana came to check that everything was alright. She stayed quiet, but her offer of help was clear on her face. Cade shook his head and pulled Braden tighter to his chest. She nodded and left as quickly as she came, giving them privacy, a concerned look in her eyes.
Cade sat there patiently, stroking Braden’s back and hair. When Braden looked up at him, color was drained from his cheeks. “You can’t die on me like that. I couldn’t handle it.”
“Bray, stop. Listen to me. Eric will not kill me and he’d have to, in order to get to you. That’s not going to happen. He will be handled. I promise you that.”
Braden just clung to him. He didn’t say anything further. Whether he was convinced or not, Cade didn’t know. Cade got them both up off the floor and back into bed. “Talk to me, Braden. Do you honestly feel that I’m going to die and that he’s going to get to you and kill you? Do you think I’m going to let that happen to you?”
Braden was quiet for several beats too long for Cade’s peace of mind. He was about to say as much when Braden finally spoke. “No. It’s just that I’m having all of these nightmares. Some are of my time with him in the past, some about my most recent time with him. Tonight’s dream was so real. I had your blood on my hands, and I heard him out in the hallway. He’s messing with my head and he isn’t even here. I’m so angry at him and at myself for letting him get to me this way.”
Cade pulled him closer, held him tighter. “Braden, PTSD isn’t something you can just fix by snapping your fingers. It’s going to stay with you for some time, which is why we need to get you in to see someone. There is nothing wrong with you. Getting upset with yourself isn’t going to help matters. You need to talk to a professional.”
Braden nodded. “Yeah, alright.”
“We’re gonna call in the morning and make you an appointment with the psychologist that Dr. Himmel suggested. Later in the day, we’re going to go to the self-defense class. I know you’re feeling vulnerable and I think that’s where the dreams are coming from. We’re going to take care of this together. You aren’t alone.”
Braden nodded and hugged him back. “I’m not going to be able to sleep for a while. If you need to rest, go ahead. I can read or get up and watch TV in the front room.”
“I’m awake as well. I’d rather be up with you, anyway. What would you like to do?”
Braden peered up into Cade’s eyes. “Can we just stay in bed and talk?”
Cade nodded. “Yeah, we can do that.”
Braden touched Cade’s tags. “Will you tell me more about your past? Why you still wear your dog tags? What made you leave the military?”
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, as long as it’s not classified. Do you want to ask me questions or do you just want me to lay everything out?”
“Just talk about your past, about some of the things you went through. I don’t care if the stories are in order, or if you have to keep most of the specific details to yourself, I just want to know more about you.”
Cade reluctantly agreed. He didn’t want Braden tainted by his past; it wasn’t pretty. He knew Braden felt like he didn’t know him, which baffled Cade. Braden knew him like no one else did. He set his personal feelings aside for the time being and decided he would tell him everything he was able
to share.
Braden had bared his soul to him; the least he could do was return the favor. He cleared his throat and addressed the easy question. “We call them ID tags, not dog tags. My dad still wears his, and so does Gideon. Ironically, I never wore them while on missions. In fact, for most of my career they were kept stateside. We wouldn’t ever wear something that could identify our name and rank because about seventy five percent of our military career was spent overseas in hostile territory.”
“You wear them under your clothes. I never noticed them until I saw you in a tank top.”
“I don’t wear them if they will be visible in public. People who do that aren’t wearing them for the right reasons. They’re not worn for adornment. I wear them out of respect for my service to my country and as a daily reminder of the men I lost under my command. I’ll be impacted by those deaths for the rest of my life.”
“But you don’t wear them as punishment, right?”
Cade smiled. “Not punishment, no. When the deaths were fresh, when I was in the middle of an op and carrying a fallen soldier over my shoulders, there’s guilt, and then later, a million different thoughts about what I could have done differently. I was trained and trained well to plan the safest and most strategic ops for each situation and I was very good at what I did. But I’m human, and of course, there’s second guessing and remorse.”
Braden gripped his hand. “How did you deal with it?”
“I became an expert at compartmentalizing, because I couldn’t have continued to do my job, and do it well day in and day out if it wasn’t for that. But when I was discharged, it was like all of the years of delaying those feelings came crashing back. I went through some pretty dark days when I got out. I was finally honest enough with myself to know that I needed help, so I went through a shit ton of therapy.”
