by Paul Lucas
But it was not the method that worried us the most, as Windrider so poignantly reminded me. "But even after everything you just said, you are not sure you can trust these Others."
"They seem to have been straightforward with us so far. Some of what they have told us may be blunt or what we do not want to hear, but they do tell us. And they really seem to want that crystal, badly. And we've made it clear that only if everything goes well and our youngster is everything we hope for, that then and only then we'll proceed with the rest of their proposed exchange."
"And are they willing to wait the nine months and more for your pregnancy?"
I shrugged. "They have no choice, if they want their crystal."
She frowned thoughtfully. "If I were them I would be resentful that you held such sway over the bargaining process."
"But what can they do? They've admitted they cannot come to where we are, for whatever reason. If they could have, they would be here already and would have no reason to negotiate." I walked over and knelt beside her, leaning into her side as I did when I was younger. She took me up in her arms, smoothing my head hair. "I think we have every angle covered, Windrider. But I am still unsure. I could be risking a great deal for a selfish motive."
She tched loudly. "There is nothing selfish in wanting youngsters of your own, Gossamyr. The entire community benefits for each new spirit brought to us. If your heart and your spirit cry out for such a thing, and your Mate and family and all the community wishes dearly for you to have it, then surely it must be a good thing."
"All the community?"
"Of course. You think we all have been blind to your anguish? We have seen the disharmony being childless has caused Lerner and yourself. We knew that for you to have children, magic of some kind would have to be involved. But I think most of us just assumed that it would be human magic, not the magic of these unknown and far-away Others."
I frowned, reminded again that too many of our people had so much blind faith in human machines and capabilities. After the Xique attack, when human technology had been essential to our survival during the worst crisis in our history, few thought to question its continued necessity in our lives.
But I was the one who had actually been to the human lands, and saw the end result of having such technological power, both good and bad. My husband, Spirits bless him, made sure to show me the full spectrum of human experience in the Known Nations. The poverty, the crime, the diseases, the wars, the petty greed and myopia that pervaded so many of their communities. When my husband worried aloud about cultural contamination of my people, it were these problems he feared for his adopted people the most. I have told him repeatedly that our people are strong enough to handle these consequences, and that we made the decision to embrace some human ways with rational clarity and free will.
But at times I wonder myself if we were truly prepared, if the wisest among us expressed such casual faith in human miracles. In truth, to my generation and older, human technology will always seem like a type of magic. Even with myself, I can memorize the words and ways of the machines I use, even quote the scientific principles under which they operate, but it is always with the same attitude that I memorize and study the thought processes that allow me to call the Spirits. Just another system of magic, really, even though I knew science was something far more. It would be up to Brightwind's generation and their descendants to allow themselves to truly understand what makes the humans' technology works.
And what the Others proposed to do...
A completely different type of magic from the humans’, really, which is what made it so frustrating. I knew all the ins and out of calling a Spirit, and I had learned enough of the general shape of human technology to at least guess at what might be good and bad there. But with the Others, it was a complete unknown.
Well, I had made a flight of faith before, when the humans first came to us, and things ultimately worked out well for everybody in the end because of it. I would have to do so again, and hope for the winds to blow in the same direction twice in a row.
"You've made your decision," Windrider remarked quietly.
I nodded. "Yes. I am going to go through with it. There is much to gain. Besides just a child for Lerner and myself, Dumas says he can learn a great deal more of valuable data just monitoring the machine during the procedure, learn to use it for our own purposes."
"But we could lose you," she said.
I shrugged. "That would not be such a great loss for the community, would it? Many say that I am constantly causing trouble. Perhaps everyone could finally get some peace and quiet."
She pinched me so hard on my arm that I yelped. "Do not even joke of such things, daughter!" But she hugged me tightly afterward.
I snuggled into her embrace, rubbing my sore arm, thankful for the momentary respite of such fierce affection. The next few days of my life were going to be very eventful, and I felt that I should grab whatever peace while I could.
* * *
YOU WISH TO COMMUNICATE.
I regarded the disembodied words floating along the far wall with a great deal of trepidation. In the back of my mind, I knew it was just a minor manipulation of the nanotech matrix, something myself or Windrider or Louis or any other semi-accomplished worker of magic with the right spirit-callings could accomplish. But on the other wing, the Others accomplished it with such casual ease. It bespoke of a knowledge of the Builders' secrets that we could only guess at.
"Yes," I started cautiously. "I am the one who is going to be putting myself most at risk in this procedure, and I guess I just wanted to clarify a number of things before I go through with this."
The words hovered unchanging, waiting for me to continue. "So, uh, where are you right now? Where are you communicating from?"
WE DO NOT DESIRE TO SHARE THAT KNOWLEDGE.
"Why not?"
The word floated, unchanging. They weren't going to answer that one.
"Why do you want that crystal so much?"
IT IS ESSENTIAL FOR A NUMBER OF OUR ENDEAVORS.
"What does it do?"
THE CRYSTAL IS A FRACTAL DIMENSIONAL CONTROL INTERFACE. IT ALLOWS DIRECT INTERFACE AND COMMUNICATION WITH THE NANITE POPULATIONS IN MANY OF THE SPHERE HABITATS WITHOUT THE NEED FOR THOUGHT-PROPAGATED PROGRAM LANGUAGE.
My eyes widened. If I understood that right... "You mean that crystal allows you to call spirits--um, manipulate the nanotech matrix--without using spells?"
YES.
"You mean we could use it to control the Nanotech Matrix? Just tell it what we want?"
NO. THE CRYSTAL'S MAIN FUNCTIONS ARE ENCODED. YOU WOULD BE UNABLE TO USE IT.
"Its encoded? How?"
UNKNOWN. WE HAVE OTHER FRACTAL DIMENSIONAL CONTROL INTERFACES BUT HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO UNLOCK THEIR HIGHER-LEVEL FUNCTIONS. WE HOPE THAT BY STUDYING MORE EXAMPLES OF THIS TECHNOLOGY WE CAN LEARN WHAT TYPE OF ENCRYPTION IS CAUSING THIS LIMITATION.
I pulled my lips to one side. "And I suppose that is not something we could manage on our own."
NO. KNOWN NATIONS SCIENCE IS NOT ADVANCED ENOUGH TO EVEN DETECT THE ENCRYPTION, MUCH LESS DECIPHER IT.
"My people are not part of the Known Nations."
THE KNOWN NATIONS IS THE ONLY CIVILIZATION OF CONSEQUENCE IN YOUR AREA OF THE PRIME HABITAT.
"I see," I said icily, snapping my wing membranes. Nothing like being told that my people were of no consequence. "And this is important enough to you that you're willing to wait the length of my pregnancy and more, to make sure the youngster Lerner and I have is healthy and normal?”
YES.
"And to divulge all the other scientific knowledge you promised?"
YES.
"Actually, it seems you're getting quite a bargain. Heal a wounded youngster, give a desperate couple a child, and teach the KN some technical secrets it would probably puzzle out on its own in a couple of years. And in return, you get a crystal that might control the entire Nanotech Matrix."
WE CONSIDER THIS A FAIR EXCH
ANGE.
"How do we know you're not lying to us?"
WE ATTEMPT NO FALSEHOODS. WE WILL HONOR OUR PART OF THE EXCHANGE SO LONG AS YOU HONOR YOURS.
I nodded quietly, thinking. Truthfully, I did not know what I expected to get out of this meeting that all our previous ones of the last few weeks had not covered. They did seem desperate for the crystal but had no way of retrieving it themselves. The only way they could get it now was if we gave it to them. And for us to do that, they had to deal with us fairly. We had made it very clear that any hint of deception or harm, and they would never see the treasure they so dearly wanted.
"You--you're not going to hurt me, are you?" I asked, my voice small. I did not know where the question came from; it just suddenly bubbled up onto my tongue.
YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED BY THE GENETIC RECOMBINATION AND IMPLANTATION PROCEDURES. HOWEVER, PREGNANCY AND CHILDBIRTH ARE KNOWN TO BE TRAUMATIC FOR YOUR SPECIES. WE CANNOT GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL FEEL NO PAIN OR DISTRESS DURING THOSE EVENTS.
I sighed, hugging myself tightly. How had my life led to this? Mated to an alien, asking other aliens to help us conceive our offspring?
Perhaps it wouldn't have been such an awful option to have waited for Brightwind to come of age after all.
THIRTY-EIGHT
The procedure was executed flawlessly. The device I was instructed to lay in looked like a smooth, streamlined cylinder that, when opened, looked very much like a contoured human-style reclining chair. Dumas, Louis, Jacqueline, and even Lerner examined it a dozen times, inside and out, both individually and separately. Dumas conjectured that large parts of the machinery at the base of the tube was a nanoforge, designed to create large populations of specialized nanites and chemical compounds upon command. As the Others indicated, the tanks would fill with an element-heavy nutrient bath, to give the medical nanites the medium and materials they needed to perform almost any kind of task.
The lid closed with all my friends and family around me, Lerner anxiously standing guard next to the chamber, looking ready to claw it open by hand if something should go wrong. I was scared and nervous, but he looked like a mountain lion about to spring at the slightest hint of danger.
We touched, forehead to forehead, nose to muzzle, drinking in each other's scent and closeness. We both needed the comfort and calmness of the other's presence to go through with this.
The lid closed, and I lay in darkness for a few heartbeats. I felt something surge around my mouth and nose, and reached up to feel a thin, fibrous membrane forming over them. My eyes and ear canals began to itch, and I knew from what the Others told us that the nanites there were also building membranes to protect the more sensitive parts of myself from the fluid bath. The chamber began to fill with fluid, which was thick and heavy but surprisingly warm. If I wasn't so tense I might have almost called the immersion process somewhat sensuous.
The fluid soon filled the entire chamber, but I had little trouble breathing; the membranes over my mouth and nostrils must have been oxygen-permeable. I lay there for at least a hundred long heartbeats, but nothing seemed to happen. At one point I thought maybe I felt something, deep inside, but it was so faint and ambiguous it could have easily been my imagination.
Not quite as fun as the natural way to get pregnant, I had to admit.
Afterward I emerged from the chamber. Dumas, Jacqueline, Lerner, and Windrider all examined me very carefully, even minutely, as best their skill and instrumentation would allow. Windrider and Louis and myself all performed divinations and sight spells on me looking for dark spirits (or a Weirds or other Matrix anomalies, to use Louis' terminology for such things.) Nothing wrong as far as any of us could tell.
That night Lerner and I had some very intense sex, as if to make up for a lack of it in the Others' sterile conception process. Even if our child was not going to be conceived like this, we at least were going to pretend.
Weeks passed. We all kept a careful eye on my health as time went by. I began to become even a bit optimistic.
That quickly evaporated during my first bout of morning sickness a few weeks later. And during the times I began experiencing hot spells for no apparent reason. And during my odd cravings in the middle of the night for raw afghuri bark and peach cider. I knew that these were normal signs of pregnancy, but it was a far different thing to watch others go through them than to go through them myself. Of course Feather and Windrider and many of the other females were greatly amused by my very familiar predicaments. I even amused Lerner with my biological tribulations at times, though a well-placed snarl from me usually put a stop to any of his chuckling.
Another human helistat came to visit us shortly afterward, an unscheduled converted cargo helistat much like the Niven's Folly. It was named the Shadow of Fate. We informed them of all of our recent discoveries, but unfortunately they were heading further out into the Outlands, and would inform the Known Nations as soon as they returned to within radio range of the nation of Zalon's outermost radio towers. That would take about three months, give or take. The next scheduled helistat visit would not be for a good six weeks after that, so the Shadow of Fate would most likely be the one taking the info to the KN.
Jacqueline and her crew decided to extend their stay at our community six more months, for a solid year. They would be here to see my youngster born. Their time here so far had proven immensely profitable, and they all wanted in on whatever else might emerge from our discoveries in the Underworld and our negotiations with the Others. Louis was the only one among them to grump at the suggestion, but his fiancée’s expedition would still be over a year away when he got back to the KN, so he was eventually convinced to go along with the rest.
Life in our community proceeded much as it always had. The Others grew silent and unresponsive for long periods of time, understanding that they would have to wait until our child's birth before further negotiations could proceed. Feather became pregnant with her second youngster three months after I did, and we spent many a night giggling and laughing as we weaved the soaker cloths and other garments the youngsters would wear.
Windrider fell ill for a few weeks, forcing me to take up her duties. I was glad to help her, despite the bulge in my tummy beginning to show and increasing aches in my back from the added weight. But her sickness, a bout of weakened energy and labored breathing, worried me to no end. For the first time, I began to realize that Windrider may not always be with us. That she was as mortal as the rest of us. I frowned every time I thought of our people without her. How could we ever get along without her wisdom and advice?
I also realized how unprepared I was to ever become Shaman. I would be a poor substitute for my mentor.
Thankfully, she recovered, though she was tired more often than she was before. She approved of the job I had done while she was ill, but I felt she just said those things to make me feel better.
My pregnancy looked nearly as perfect as such things could be by the sixth month. I ate voraciously, licking our eating bowls greedily for every last drop and morsel, arranging trades with others, especially Jacqueline, for more exotic fair to quell my odd cravings. Once, for a seeming joke whose punchline eluded me, she offered me a bowl of strawberry ice cream and pickles. It turned out to be one of the most delicious things I ever ate, and told others about it. Everyone in the community, pregnant and not, traded away her modest stores for both and were equally enchanted with the odd combination. We had yet another thing to trade with the humans for when the next helistat visited.
Of course we removed the Fractal Dimensional Control crystal the Others wanted so badly to a new, hidden location in the Underworld. They said they couldn't come to our part of the Shard, but we couldn't be sure if they were completely honest, or if their circumstances might not change. Our possession of the crystal was the only guarantee we could get we wanted from our Faustian bargain, and we were taking no chances with it.
Close to the beginning of my ninth month of pregnancy, the Known Nations finally replied to our
initial report on the contact with the Others. Another converted cargo helistat arrived, the Bright Horizon. The KN officials acknowledged that they wouldn't interfere with our negotiations with the Others, as my people were after all independent of the human powers, but they insisted that they leave behind another contact specialist and some security personnel to negotiate on the part of the KN.
Flier was ambiguous about the supposed contact specialist but was more than grateful for the four surly, well-armed Outland marines that formed the squad attached to her. Even months later, the Xique attacks were still fresh in everyone's mind.
The Contact Specialist was named Sharik Polara, and Jacqueline took an immediate dislike of her. Louis mentioned that Jacqueline was afraid that Polara might try to lessen her crews' discovery bonuses from the found Builder technology. Even when Polara assured her up front that she had no such intentions, Jacqueline grumbled something under her breath about "lying two-faced bureaucrats."
I had met a few bureaucrats back in the KN, and Sharik Polara met the seeming stereotype. Dry, aloof, distant, but near-obsessed with minutiae, she went about her negotiations with the Others with methodical efficiency.
However, the Others soon made it clear that they were uninterested in communicating with her or with the KN in general at the time. The only thing they were interested in in this section of the Shard, they said, was the Fractal Dimension Control Interface. Polara tried to be tactful, but it was obvious to everyone in our community how frustrated she quickly became with their intractable stance.
