by Paul Lucas
And, suddenly, an even brighter light sparked below.
Many things happened at once. The light from underneath flashed over us, blinding me and the entire ship. The ship was hit by its hardest blow yet. We were all thrown about like sacks of fruit. The crystal screamed warnings incessantly. I screamed as well, deep within the Matrix. Blue sky flashed above us, and then dark green-browns. And finally, one last devastating impact.
SIXTY-NINE
Battles are never nearly as epic as the messes they create.
--Gabriella Herbert, The Machine In The God, Greater Lara Press, Borelea, 548
* * *
Cloud snorted, snapping his wings half-heartedly in mock irritation. “You are always causing trouble, Gossamyr.”
I sighed. “It does seem to be a talent.”
We looked out over the devastation of Kalen’s enclave in the wake of the battle. Craters and blackened ruins stretched out to the farmlands surrounding the community, and beyond. A week after the conflict, and some fires still churned away smoke off in the distance.
Idly, I followed the strands of smoke into the sky only to meet the immense metal shadow of the Builder ship hovering over Kalen’s castle. It seemed the most practical place to put it. Where exactly does one park a kilometer-long, multi-million ton spaceship except in the sky?
Besides, it helped remind our fellow Myotans just how much had changed in the last seven days. The spaceport doors were locked against the Cephalopods. The space scavengers would never see Llexa again.
And, ultimately, the Builder ship in the sky would remind them how much more was going to change in the future.
I smiled, for it reminded me even more what I had inadvertently achieved in our mad flight in it to the surface.
I was going home.
The ship was mine. I was the only one who could command the crystal that could command it. In the giddy atmosphere that followed the Llexan’s victory over the Cephalopods, no one challenged my claim. Even if they had, how could they ever enforce it?
The ship could travel over the surface far faster than any helistat, and it did not have to stop to refuel. We could be back at the Tower within a few weeks, at the KN a week after that.
Home. The word had a magic to it, after so long away.
We would leave within the next day. The Llexans were already massing supplies on the large fields outside the city where we planned on briefly setting the ship down.
I leaned on my walking stick, my legs still unsteady. The Matrix had mostly repaired my physical damage--though it was still odd to think that most of my present muscle and skin and bone from my chest to my skull had basically been rebuilt from the elements found in biscuits and urine and dead microscopic robots.
In fact, I knew from some of the still somewhat hazy memories of my Matrix-downloaded self that my body had been repaired good as new, that all physical wounds and ailments from even before the nanite attack had been completely repaired. Even all my old scars and newer wrinkles had disappeared, the aches from my old leg injuries had vanished. I was looked younger than I did when the humans first came.
But the Weird nanites had managed to destroy some portions of my spine, and they had even managed to work their way, admittedly in small numbers, into my brain. The result was that I had lost some memories, even things I had thought were now automatic, like using my legs effectively. I literally had to learn to walk normally again. Thankfully, my legs were as strong than they had ever been, so I only had to learn the coordination again. So far it was good enough for me to hobble around. In a few weeks I hopefully would be able to walk normally again.
But I also had new memories, knowledge gained from my time in the Nanotech Matrix. My Matrix-self had allowed herself to be deleted once my flesh-self was fully conscious and functioning again. It was one of the oddities of artificial intelligence--even god-like processing abilities and all the accumulated knowledge of humankind will not impart survival instincts into a machine. It was, in the end, still just wires and metals and circuits no matter how sophisticated. Human-style consciousness was no more than a subset of all possible permutations of intelligence.
For survival, one needed DNA and hormones and endorphins, or have their equivalent programmed into an AI from the beginning. All this time, people in the KN and elsewhere have quietly feared the artificial intelligence controlling the Nanotech Matrix. But their fears were groundless. The Matrix did not care about survival or domination or comfort or stimulation the way biological, chemical-driven creatures did. It was incapable of caring for such things. It was simply what it was always meant to be: a tool.
I thought back to everything that had happened since coming through the Teleport Node. I only had two regrets about returning home.
I turned toward one of them. “Cloud, are sure you will not come back with us?”
He sighed and nodded slowly. “I am afraid so, Gossamyr. I like it here, and Skel is a good female.”
I harrumphed.
“She is, Gossamyr. You cannot see it because you two are too much alike.”
“We are not alike in any way!”
“Skel said the same thing when I mentioned it to her.”
I snapped my wing membranes. “Cloud...”
He laughed. “It is true, Gossamyr. She is what you will be in about ten or fifteen years.”
“I will never—“
“She fought uncompromisingly for her people’s future, making sacrifice after sacrifice. She and Kalen used to be intensely in love, in their youths, you know. But she left him when his politics of appeasement clashed with her feelings that only rebellion could free the people here.”
My brows arched high. Confirmation that Skel and Kalen used to be lovers hit me harder than I thought it would. I had suspected it for quite some time, but now that it was confirmed, my feelings of jealousy were more intense than I thought.
Just one more reason to resent Skel.
Time then to change the subject. “You will be appreciated here,” I said. “You will be an ambassador, of sorts. A teacher, even.”
He shrugged. “It is ironic. All those years railing against the humans and their greater knowledge, yet here I am trying to teach the people here what I have learned from them.” He snorted. “Even more ironic is how long I resented Lerner, even after his death, and yet I will play the same role here as he did with us.”
I touched his arm gently, almost affectionately. “That is not so bad, is it?”
“No. No, it is not.” Silence stretched before he spoke. “It has taken me a long time to realize this, Gossamyr, but Lerner was a good male. A good male especially for you. I am sorry he is no longer with us.”
Cloud—“
“It is truth, Gossamyr.”
“And Skel is lucky to have found a male like you,” was all I could think of to say. I surprised myself by how much I meant it.
For the first time since we played on the winds, I took Cloud up in my arms and truly hugged him. It felt right. Not as hugging your Mate feels, but as one hugs a true friend, it felt perfect.
We both recognized the rhythm of the approaching footsteps. Cloud pulled away. “I had better go. You have a much more serious farewell to make.”
I watched him walk away for a heartbeat then turned toward my other great regret about going home.
Kalen.
“You are leaving tomorrow,” he began.
My throat was suddenly dry. I nodded, looking away shyly.
“We will come back, Kalen. Louis, Amethyst and I have been discussing just what having a Builder ship on the surface of the Shard will mean. Travel times will be weeks, instead of months or years. And you and the other Councilmembers have expressed keen interest in establishing a link with the Known Nations and the Tower. My people will surely welcome contact with other Myotans, and I know the KN will jump at the chance. It is certain that we will return here. Perhaps in a few years. . .”
“And you may well have forgotten me by then.”
/>
“You know that is hardly possible, Kalen.”
“But you will move on with your life. No matter what, my life and your life now fly in separate winds. I know you feel something for me, even if it was not the storm of passion you felt for your husband. When and if we do meet again, even those feelings will no longer be the same.”
“Perhaps. Or perhaps when our lives again fly in the same winds, our spirits will no longer be so weary from constant conflict and hardship that we can start anew.”
His smile was weak, but there nonetheless. “I would like that.”
I took his tool fingers in mine. “Just do not wait for me, Kalen, for what might be just a thin hope anyway. We still may never see each other again after tomorrow. Too much is still uncertain, and the distances between us will be too great. Do not deny yourself love and a family here because you think you must hold yourself to feelings for a female you knew only briefly.”
“Yet I have a feeling we will meet again.”
I allowed myself a small smile. “As do I.”
Kalen quivered his lips to say more, but I simply leaned into him, draping his wing over my shoulder, snuggling in his torso, breathing deeply of his pleasant male scent. The reality of us as a couple was slipping away, but it was still nice to fantasize for a few more heartbeats.
A week earlier, back on the Builder ship, my Matrix-downloaded self had been busy while my body was being repaired and my brain fought its way back to full consciousness. By necessity, there was much that she had learned that she could not tell my biological self. Too much I simply would not have comprehended. Other things would have been too dangerous for me to know or to tell the KN about. Technologies and Builder secrets that would prove too destructive in the hands of those that could not fully understand them. In the centuries to come that might change, but for now we would have to learn and struggle with life on the MegaShard the old-fashioned way.
But she did allow me to retain some choice tidbits knowledge which could prove of great value for my people and the KN. The nature of the Builders' ultimate encryption, for instance, the one the Others could never crack.
The Builders understood the potential for misuse of their immensely powerful tools. They had a great many safeguards built into them, but they also wanted to make absolutely sure only their true inheritors could operate their most potentially dangerous creations. And there was one quality that was immensely, uniquely human that the alien Others and their creations could never copy or even understand.
It turns out only those who had known love, and had loved others, could use the crystal. That had been the final code.
For some reason, despite all the other horrors I had seen that had resulted from the Builders' plans, that one bit of information gave me a profound hope for the future. The Builders, despite their immense knowledge and power, had never lost sight of who they were, of what truly mattered. And as we were all their children among the Shards, perhaps that spoke well of us as well.
Kalen held me for a long time. I was content to be held, no longer a warrior, or an explorer, or even a shaman. Just a weary, lonely female, drawing warmth and comfort from a worthy male. Overhead, the Shards slowly slid through the sky, behind the eclipse of the immense silver-black shadow of the Builder ship.
SEVENTY
I walked slowly through the corridors of the relic Builder ship, trailing a herd of very excited tarantulas. "If what you say is true, it could change everything!" D'Artagnan exclaimed.
I allowed myself a slight smile. "It is not as Shard-shattering as all that," I said. Through a corner of my eye, thanks to the crystal, I watched the landscape slowly roll under the ship outside in the midday sun. My heart skipped a beat as I recognized the twists and turns of a familiar river a hundred meters below us. Almost there.
We were a month away from Llexa. A distance that would have taken three lifetimes to cross on foot and more than a year in a helistat had been traversed in only a few weeks. Somehow, it was nice to know that when the time arises to return, Kalen and Cloud were merely a few weeks away.
"But if you can manipulate the Nanotech Matrix directly the way you did back in that Spaceport, we could have access to all the Shard's systems! We can finally see if the Shard is failing or not."
"I will not manipulate the Nanotech Matrix like that again. It was too dangerous. And as for the MegaShard failing, it is." That brought the spider swarm up to a sudden halt, before it remembered itself and skittered to catch up to me. Before it could say anything, I continued. "One of the things I looked up after the battle while my body was still being repaired was the state of the Shard-wide maintenance systems. The Nanotech Matrix is allowed to handle most foreseen day to day repairs and maintenance, but it is not authorized to do certain things unless it has human permission or supervision. There were a great number of small malfunctions that were building into a cascade failure of the MegaShard environment."
"What kind of malfunctions?"
"I do not know."
"How can you not now?"
"I mean, I knew while I was researching it, or at least my Matrix-downloaded self did. She thought it best that the real me did not know about it, or that anyone in the KN knew exactly what the danger was. Its passed now, anyway. My Matrix-self gave the Nanotech Matrix all the authorization it needed to take care of whatever was wrong."
"How--how long would it have been until we found out about it otherwise?"
I shrugged. "Depends on how KN exploration efforts went, if they would have discovered the problem in time. But left on its own, the MegaShard would had started to deteriorate in three decades. A century or two more, it would have become inhabitable."
"But that's insane, Gossamyr! Why would your other self not want us to know about such problems?"
"Do you give a blind man an assault rifle and then just trust him to hit a target right the first time? Would you let a child drive a helistat full throttle and just hope he can just happen to get you to your destination? That is what it would have been like to give the KN what they needed to repair the Shard. Too many variables for things to go wrong, in the hands of those who have not learned how to handle such technologies yet. The KN will need decades more experience before they can begin to handle such things. But do not worry, they have that time now. The repairs I authorized should buy us a few more centuries yet. Provided nothing else breaks down that the Nanotech Matrix needs authorization to repair."
"And if it does?"
"I do not know. I think my other self made sure that was taken care of somehow, but that is one of many things she did not share with her flesh and bone self."
"That must be very frustrating for you."
I snorted. "You have no idea." I realize that my other self had access to knowledge I did not, that her consciousness and processing power had been expanded to a degree I could scarcely imagine. And yet, none of that necessarily made her any wiser. Did I really trust the continued existence of everyone on the Shard to my own flawed wisdom, once removed? Even though I am sure my Matrix avatar did everything she thought best, would that truly prove beneficial in the long run?
I suppose we would all just have to wait and find out.
We came to our destination on the deck and I toggled the door in front of us to slide open. D’Artagnan began to scamper into the spacious stateroom room until I hissed for him to stop and stay quiet. Thankfully, our intrusion had barely disturbed the room's occupants.
In the large central cot a naked Amethyst lay on her side with an equally nude Louis tucked under her muscular arm, the both of them sleeping the contented slumber of the sexually exhausted. The scents in the room left no doubt as to their activities the night before.
I found myself sporting a large and growing smile as I watched them snuggle unconsciously to each other. It was about time, really. Louis' attitude toward her had changed dramatically since Llexa, and it was obvious to everybody how close they were becoming. It had been a long, arduous, painful beginning fo
r them, but I knew I was looking at two spirits who now flew as one.
How they would handle Louis' fiancée Rumiko, if she still even waited for him, would no doubt be an unpleasant episode. But after all the other obstacles they had to endure just to reach this moment, I had no doubt that they could handle it.
I ushered the spider swarm out of the room and slid the door shut. Louis and Amethyst deserved time with each other, to really cement their intimacy in each other.
"Interesting," was all D'Artagnan had to say about that. He quickly changed the subject to things far more interesting to him than mammalian sex. "So what else did you learn while you were linked to the Nanotech Matrix?"
"You have to understand that I retain only bits and pieces, D'Artagnan, but even that is near-overwhelming. I am still trying to sift through it all myself."
"So even what you do fully remember you're having a hard time understanding?"
"Yes." Or, at least what I could understand I did not fully want to divulge yet. Some things both my people and the KN were simply not ready for, such as the fact that human consciousness was only a small subset of what we like to call sentience. That there were artificial intelligences as far beyond them as they were beyond an ant, yet were created and destroyed like so many disposable tools by the Nanotech Matrix. And that these supreme AIs were incapable of caring about their own existence at all was the most chilling revelation of all.
I could not suppress the shudder that swept through my body. How could I explain to anyone that the gods who held the lives of every person on the Shard in their hands were quite mad?
But other information, I could convey. Things far off that could have no immediate impact, but which could prepare the KN and its allies for obstacles in the future, if they began preparing now. "Well, while I was connected I discovered the purpose of the Eden Sphere."
