by K M Reynolds
“Where is my baby? Where is my son?” Adelaide asked through trembling lips.
Charles sat silently, refusing to meet her gaze.
Adelaide’s volume rose as she asked again, grasping at Charles’ sleeve. “Where is he? Bring him to me, right now!”
Charles finally spoke, turning to Adelaide with tears pooling in his eyes. “I can’t.”
With those two words, Adelaide felt the world stop. There was a shrill ringing in her ears and it felt as though the bed gave way beneath her. She was flailing, drowning, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. All the air had been sucked from the room.
When Gran had died, there had been an undeniable ache, a sadness, a heaviness that settled around her like a winter cloak. This feeling that engulfed her now was not still or sad or heavy. It was rage and fire and filled with pain that has no name. It was deep and endless, a darkness that yawned its great mouth, swallowing her whole and blocking out the light. She thrashed on the bed, her mouth gaping and choking as her lungs compressed. Her eyes bulged and her veins stood out against her salmon-flushed skin. At last came the scream.
It poured from her cracked lips in a rush, streaming from the deepest parts of her heart. Again and again she wailed, her fists thumping the mattress helplessly. Charles sat quietly, his own chest heaving with sobs as his wife poured out her grief, fresh and unfettered.
She wailed until her voice cracked and faded, unable to produce the sound. Her sobs became silent, broken by her sharp gasps. Her tongue lay like sandpaper in her mouth, her face felt swollen and tight. There was a deep, dark ache that started in her chest and reverberated through her head. Everything was tender and heavy.
She felt Charles curl up on the bed next to her, but she did not turn into him. She lay curled up, like Malcolm had been curled safely in her womb, her mind slowly growing numb and cold to the world around her. Finally, she felt herself drifting off, the exhaustion taking over.
Cambria heard Adelaide’s cry and stumbled out of her room and down the hall towards Adelaide’s suite. She hadn’t slept at all, tossing and turning all night. The screams of her best friend made her heart lurch, and she reached for the door, preparing to fling it open.
“Cambria, stop!” Wynne’s voice echoed down the hall as she strode towards Cambria.
“Why? She needs us!”
“No, she needs time. She just learned that her baby is gone. Give her some space to absorb and to grieve. Much like when you lost your parents, this loss will create a gaping wound that needs to heal in her heart. It’s best we not poke at it until it has begun to mend.” Wynne laid a soft hand on Cambria’s shoulder. “I know you are upset, and want to be with your friend. I get it. There will be a time for that.”
Cambria nodded, sighing heavily and stepping back from the door. “I understand. I just…” her voice cracked as she listened to Adelaide’s wails.
“I know.” Wynne gently guided Cambria down the hall, casting a soundproofing spell over her shoulder. The heartbroken screams were silenced, held behind the invisible wall that would provide privacy for the grieving couple. “Let’s give them some space. In the meantime, you and I have much to discuss. I need to know exactly what happened when you used the Time Glass.”
Cambria stumbled, that sickening feeling returning. “I’ll tell you everything,” she agreed, “but you aren’t going to like it at all.”
“I wasn’t expecting to.”
Adelaide shifted in bed, drawing the covers around her shoulders. “No, I don’t want to. I’m not ready.”
Charles sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Addie, my love, it has been seven days. You need to leave the room, even just for some fresh air. Just for a few minutes. Please, I’m worried about you.” He rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Please, look at me.”
“Every time I look at you, all I can think about is what we’ve lost,” she whispered, feeling her chest grow tight. “I can’t.”
“Cambria and Wynne are worried about you.”
“Cambria and Wynne,” Adelaide spat. “Cambria is the reason Malcolm is dead, and Wynne is the one who let him die. Elios can have them both.”
“My love, you know that’s not true. They—”
“It’s my truth!” she cried, rolling over to face him, eyes blazing. “If Cambria hadn’t taken that Time Glass to try to save her parents, even though she was warned, then our location wouldn’t have been betrayed. And Wynne brought me back from the brink of death. Surely she could have saved Malcolm. She was against the pregnancy from the start, remember? She offered to ‘take care of it’ for us! You’re telling me she didn’t seize the opportunity to let the ‘problem’ go away on its own?” She rolled back over, closing her swollen, red-rimmed eyes. “At least now she can get her stupid time table back on track. No more delay,” she muttered.
Charles sat silently through her tirade and for a few long minutes afterward. Finally, he leaned over and kissed her head. “You are right. I’ll bring you fresh fruit and water. You don’t have to come out until you’re ready. We’ll all be here when you are.”
“Just leave me here to die. I want to be with my son.”
“You will be, someday. I’m sure of it. But not today. Not tomorrow. You belong here with us.” He crossed the room and opened the door, glancing back at her. “I love you, Addie.”
As the door closed behind him, Adelaide uncurled from her tight position and rolled to her back, looking up at the ceiling. Two thin trails of tears snaked from the corners of her eyes down into her temples, disappearing into her hair. She drew a deep, shuddering breath and closed her eyes. Sleep. I need to sleep, she thought. At least in my dreams, I can be with my baby.
Thanaeron sat up in bed, a thin coat of sweat covering her body. No, that can’t be right. She quickly lit candles to illuminate her dark chamber, then hastily made a pile of cushions in the center of the room. She focused her breathing and willed her spirit to leave her body behind, heading for the house at the lake. If my dream was right… she brushed off the feeling and flew down into the yard, sneaking up to one of the large windows that bordered the main room. Inside she could see Charles, Wynne, and Cambria all sitting and talking. She strained to hear what they were saying, desperate to catch a piece of their conversation. I have to know if I’m right.
“—won’t come out,” the Bainbridge boy was saying. “She blames the two of you for the death of our son.”
“Adelaide will come to her senses,” Wynne replied firmly. “She has a destiny to fulfill. Yes, she is grieving a terrible tragedy, but she will be able to rise up stronger than before, and move forward.”
“Do you really think so?” Cambria chimed in. “She almost died, Wynne. And she lost her son.”
Thanaeron’s blood went cold and she stumbled back away from the window. Her mind was racing as she left the scene behind, opening her eyes back in her chambers. She whispered into the silence, terrified of what she now knew to be true. “She’s alive.”
unbound emotions
A delaide’s feet felt heavy as she trudged down the hall. One foot at a time, she reminded herself, breathing deeply with each step. She finally reached the end of the seemingly endless hallway and entered the main room. Cambria, Wynne, and Charles were sitting around the table, eating a succulently prepared salmon dish that made Adelaide’s mouth water. The conversation died as they stared at her. She stood frozen like a hunted deer, prepared to flee at a moment’s notice.
Cambria was the one to break the silence, rising from her seat. “Addie, hey.”
Adelaide shuffled in place, her voice not cooperating. She simply nodded in acknowledgement, dropping her gaze to the floor, away from the worried eyes of her friends. She slowly approached the table, sliding wordlessly into her seat.
Charles reached over and covered her hand with one of his own. “It’s good to see you up and about, my love.”
“Adelaide, you are just in time,” Wynne said. “We were discussing the best cours
e of action going forward.”
“Oh Wynne, I don’t know if—” Charles began, but Adelaide interjected flatly, finally finding her voice.
“It’s fine. We do need to talk about it.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “So, let’s talk.”
“We can’t stay here any longer. Thanaeron knows we are here, and it’s only a matter of time before they launch another attack. We should be long gone by the time that happens.”
“Where will we go?” Cambria asked.
“You weren’t part of the last conversation we had about this, Cam, but we will go to Dragonspire,” Wynne said. “An old friend and ally is there, and he will help us.”
“And it will be safe?” Adelaide’s voice was soft, tremulous. She glanced at her friends. “We will be safe there? Because I cannot bear to lose anything else.”
“We will be safe,” Wynne affirmed. “Much like this place, Dragonspire is cloaked against the outside world. No one ventures there.”
“All the good that did for us,” Adelaide muttered.
“Addie,” Charles warned. “Please don’t.”
“No, let’s hear her out,” Wynne encouraged. “We need to all be working together, on the same path, if we want our plan to work. If Adelaide is feeling strained or adrift, we need to know.”
Adelaide leveled her gaze at Wynne, staring at her with a burning intensity. “Fine. You want to know how I’m feeling? I want to know why you let my son die.”
The air was deathly still as the aftershock of Adelaide’s words rippled through the room. No one moved a muscle for fear of breaking the somber silence. Adelaide’s eyes never budged, staying fixed on Wynne’s face. At long last, Wynne answered.
“You know I didn’t let him die. By the time I reached your side, he was already gone.”
“You have magic!” Adelaide whispered hoarsely around the growing knot in her chest. “Time magic. Healing magic. You could have fixed him.”
“It doesn’t work like that, and you know it,” Wynne chided gently. “I can’t bring back what is already lost. It was lucky I could heal you at all.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“But maybe now you understand why I stole the Time Glass,” Cambria interjected. “This pain you are feeling, the desperation to put it right… that’s how I felt when my parents died.”
“Parents are supposed to die before their children,” Adelaide hissed, turning her fury to Cambria. “They aren’t supposed to bury their children. Our losses are not the same.”
“I’m sorry, I thought you’d understand—”
“—I understand that you did something stupid and rash, like you always do, and it cost me my son. He paid for your mistake with his life.”
Cambria rose from the table, blinking back tears. “If that’s how you feel…”
“It is,” Adelaide snapped. “I will never forgive you for this.”
Cambria fled the room and Adelaide watched her go. When Cam was gone, she rose from her seat, turning to a speechless Charles. “Whenever you all decide to leave, I’ll be ready. Just let me know. I’ll start packing now.” She swept out of the room and back to her chambers, the ache in her chest growing larger with each passing second. She retreated into her room and climbed into bed, curling up into the now-familiar ball of sorrow and closing her eyes.
Cambria closed her eyes and listened to Wynne’s voice, the thick smell of incense tickling her nose.
“Focus on Thanaeron specifically. We need to know when the next attack is coming, so we can prepare.”
Cambria felt her heart jump at the mention of Thanaeron’s name. Her instincts all recoiled in horror as she reached her mind out, gingerly at first, seeking the ether for traces of Thanaeron. There.
She held her breath as she floated closer, praying to all the gods that her presence would go undetected. Thanaeron and Lord Bainbridge were sitting close together, peering at a map of the kingdom.
“…by this route here,” Thanaeron was gesturing to the map, trailing a long fingernail southward. “We can surround them.”
“That seems plausible,” Lord Bainbridge agreed.
“Or,” she suddenly changed tactics, tapping the map again, with one hand while placing the other on Lord Bainbridge’s arm, “we could try this instead. Yes, I think this is a much better plan.”
“Well then, I’ll instruct our armies at once. We ride at dawn.”
Cambria gasped, snapping back into reality, her head spinning. She took several deep breaths as Wynne stared in anticipation.
“Well? What did you see?”
“They are coming for us at dawn. They will be here quickly, with magic and the royal command at their disposal.”
“Then we have no time to lose. We must leave at once. We don’t want to be anywhere near here when they arrive.”
“She’s gone now,” Thanaeron glanced around the room. “Ignore everything I just said.”
“What?” Lord Bainbridge searched the room, a puzzled expression on his face. “Who?”
“That annoying little witchling, Cambria. She was trying to spy on us. I felt her presence so I just made some stuff up to throw her off the trail. I still think that first route is the wisest way.”
“Oh,” Lord Bainbridge mused. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
“Then I’ll let my men know. We will leave at first light.”
“No, they heard that. We will leave within the hour.”
“The hour?” he sputtered. “We won’t have enough time to—”
“We will be fine. We don’t need the entire army, just a squadron of your best and brightest. We are hunting a handful of strays. We won’t need more than that.”
“I want three squadrons,” he growled. “You underestimated them when you sent the creatures to attack. I refuse to do that again.”
“Fine.” Thanaeron sighed and rolled her eyes, waving dismissively. “Three squadrons. But we leave in an hour.”
“I’ll send word.”
“See you in an hour, pet,” she crooned, patting him on the head and slithering out the door.
The companions moved quickly, packing the house up in a flurry of activity. Wynne cast simple enchantments on their travelling packs, allowing them to carry ten times the supplies at no additional bulk or weight.
Adelaide thoughtfully folded her clothes and stared out her window at the peaceful lake view. She wanted to etch every detail to memory; each leaf and stone, the way the sunlight hit the water and made it sparkle. This is where I became a mother, and where I married the love of my life. And if things go the way we want them to, I’ll never see it again.
Charles interrupted her thoughts. “You almost ready to go, sweetheart?”
She sighed and crossed the room to the bed, sinking onto the soft mattress. “I believe so. It just feels so strange to be leaving all of this behind.”
“I know what you mean. It has become home.”
“And now we have to endure another journey to another unknown place,” she grumbled. “I don’t know if I have it in me.”
“You do.” He kissed the top of her head. “I know you are still hurting, I am too. But for the sake of the kingdom, we need to focus on our quest. There will be time for joy and sorrow when this is over.”
“You say that like it’s easy.”
“Oh, I know it isn’t. I am fighting the same demons as you. But the kingdom needs us right now. Our friends need us.”
“I suppose you are right.”
“That’s the burden of the crown. You have to always be putting the kingdom before your own personal needs.”
“I understand that, I do. It’s just… it’s so hard.”
“I know, my love.”
“Honestly, I almost wish I had never accepted this quest.” She twisted her hair nervously around her fingers as she spoke, pacing the floor. “Part of me wishes that I never opened Gran’s jewelry box, that I never learned about my identity, and that we never came here.”
/>
“You do?” Charles’ voice was tinged with sadness. “But then we wouldn’t have met.”
“I know. I’m not trying to hurt you, I just wish there was a way I could have avoided all of this heartache. And for what? We don’t know if our quest will even be successful.”
Charles reached out and grasped Adelaide’s hands, holding them firmly. “Hey, look at me,” he pleaded. “Look. There’s no use wondering what if, because what’s done is done. This is our life, and our destiny now. We can’t change what has happened, but we can do our best to create a brighter future.”
Adelaide stepped forward, leaning her head against his chest as he wrapped her in an embrace. “Hmmmm,” she sighed. “When did you get so wise?”
“The day I decided to marry you,” he teased.
Adelaide smiled, the first real smile to cross her face since Malcolm had died. “That was the wisest move of all,” she teased back.
A knock on the door brought them back to the present, and to the task at hand. “All packed?” Wynne asked, poking her head into their suite. “We need to head out in a few minutes.”
“Just a few more things and we will be ready to go,” Charles promised her. “We’ll meet you out front in ten minutes.”
Wynne nodded and retreated, closing the door. Adelaide looked up at Charles, then around the room.
“I’m really going to miss this place.”
“Me too. But we will make new memories in new places, and they will be as wonderful as the ones we made here.”
“Promise?”
“I swear it, my love.”
Adelaide took one last look around the yard as the companions gathered in the doorway. Her eyes misted as she drank in one last look at the barn, the fire pit, and the sparkling lake that seemed to dance in the fading twilight. The horses were loaded up, and Wynne quickly cast a cloaking spell over the group.
“This should give us safe passage through the jungle without much trouble. I hope to be out of the trees by daybreak.” She gazed wistfully at her house, nestled so cozily here in the heart of the jungle. “Goodbye, old friend. You have served me well.”
