At the first bell, Maggie and I parted ways with Amber. She, being a senior with decent grades, didn’t share any classes with us. After a few bits of conversation and promises to see each other at lunch, we moved on. Maggie’s class was on the way to mine, so I had some precious time with her by myself. The time would be far too short for me to share my boy troubles with her.
“Tonight’s the night, huh,” I said to her. Maggie previously told me that she planned to take her relationship with Brent to the next level tonight.
I watched her smile fade while we navigated the hallways to our lockers first before heading to class. “I don’t know Eme,” she said sorrowfully. My heart leaped at the thought she might have changed her mind. Maggie had a way of falling in and out of love. I just wasn’t sure if Brent was going to be the one. “He’s been so weird and his temper is off the charts,” she added.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” I urged her.
We stopped in front of our lockers. I waited for her to speak. It looked like there was more she wanted to say. I leaned one shoulder on the locker to let her know I was giving her my full attention.
She shook her head. “He’s got it all planned out,” she added. Her bright green eyes dulled in thought. It was like she was holding something back from me.
“Maggs, this isn’t a date your breaking. There are no second chances on this,” I pleaded. She exhaled an extended breath of air. Then she turned to her locker to work on the combination.
I moved into her personal space. “Maggs, don’t shut me out. I’m not judging you, you know that. But this is something you can’t take back later,” I said.
She stopped twirling the lock. I could tell now that she hadn’t really been putting in her combination. She’d been avoiding my eyes. Turning back to face me, she said, “I do love him.” I nodded not wanting to speak so she could have her say. “And, I was sure,” she added hesitantly.
“But,” I interjected.
She averted her eyes then returned them to me again. “I don’t know. I do but I don’t,” she finally admitted.
I could tell that she wasn’t going to say anymore. So I pulled my final card. “If Brent really loves you, he’ll wait until you’re ready,” I said. Believe me, I wasn’t the poster child for virginity. However, for me, I knew I wouldn’t until it was with the one. I even knew who that one was. So I would probably die a virgin.
“Eme, Brent isn’t pressuring me. I’m the one who came up with this bright idea,” she said looking away from me.
Feeling a wave of relief, I was happy not to think less of Brent. Now at least I still thought he was a good guy. I didn’t want to lecture her. I figured we could talk more at lunch and in the class we shared, so I let it go. While I waited for her to gather her things, a petite girl with Asian features I’d never seen before passed me and unashamedly took in the full view of me. It gave me the willies, but it didn’t feel like she was interested in me thank goodness. I had enough with my own boy problems to add a stray girl into the mix. Her intake of me seemed more like she was assessing me. I shook off the weird vibe and headed off to class once Maggie was finished.
Alone again when I’d parted ways with Maggie, I was left with my own thoughts. I couldn’t help but be reminded that this would be the third year in a row that I was without a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. In the past, I’d secretly wished that I would receive an anonymous rose from some boy professing his undying love for me. It never came. And I’d long since given up hope on that.
Val-A-Grams would be distributed by the clubs that sold them over the course of the day. But as a general rule, if you hadn’t received a rose by lunch, most likely you weren’t getting one. Surprise was the only way to describe my expression when a girl walked up to my seat in class wearing purple wings on her back with a silver foil halo crowning her head and her hand extended to me.
“Here,” the girl with the purple wings said. I couldn’t help noticing she wore a bright red top. Her voice was a monotone that clearly conveyed perfectly her lack of inspiration in taking on this task. I was more than certain that she had been roped in at the last minute to hand out these roses. Somehow, I doubted she’d worn the red top with the idea she’d be wearing purple wings. That and her clear lack of enthusiasm clenched that thought.
“Thanks,” I said with a small smile showing my appreciation for her plight. I took the bouquets of flowers she pushed at me. Don’t get me wrong, bouquet was a strong word. But it was the only one that came to my confused mind at receiving them. There were four long stem roses, one white, two red and one pink. They had cute little hang tags dangling from each stem. I studied the hang tags in amazement since this was a first for me. The tags were about four inches long with scalloped cut edges. The messages were written on ivory parchment paper glued to the red cardboard.
One by one, I read the messages while the teacher, who had much patience for the day, allowed the distractions. Purple winged cupid girl continued to walk around my class handing out the other flowers to girls and a few guys.
The tags were clearly written in the same feminine bubbly handwriting. Unmistakably, I was sure that the person or persons who sent the flowers did not write the messages on them. Here were the anonymous roses I’d long since dreamed of. Only now, after I read the messages, I didn’t think I would have a happily ever after.
The first tag read ‘Forgive Me’. When thinking about the guys in my life over the past couple of months, I couldn’t be sure who that came from. I read on. The second perplexing tag said ‘You and Me’. That certainly wasn’t a helpful clue either. The third tag read ‘Be Mine’. For a moment, I thought I was sure who had sent that one, but quickly dismissed it. The last said ‘Miss You’. I gave up. I had no idea. It could have been anybody and I certainly wasn’t going to ask them individually if they’d sent me a rose. Most likely my choices were narrowed down to Luke, Paul, Flynn or Sebastian. The only problem was that I didn’t think that they were all sent by the same person. I put them down not really wanting to think about it too much more. I settled into class and began taking notes when the teacher finally took control of the class.
After the fourth period bell rung, I trudged out of my class especially not looking forward to this part of the day. Since the whole break up with Luke, I stopped sitting at the senior elite table. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t sit there. But for me, it was too hard to do so. Amber and Maggie continued to sit with the group. And I was totally okay with it. Brent was there and if Maggie sat with me more than likely Brent and his friends, including Luke, would follow. So it was better this way. Surprisingly, though was Sebastian. He could have sat with them. Clearly, he fit in. Nevertheless, he’d sat with me from the first day he came to school after David procured the right documentation to enroll him, at his choice, a junior like Flynn and me. The more that I thought about it, maybe it wasn’t such a surprise. I had to wonder why the guy was here. I didn’t think it was because he was into me like he hinted at yesterday. My mom wouldn’t have agreed to this otherwise. Perhaps he was my protector. Possibly, I was still in danger even though nothing has happened at all lately.
Stepping into the lunch room, I was waylaid. Maggie and Amber headed me off at the pass and herded me like a lingering lamb to sit with them at the dreaded elite table after I’d gotten my lunch. I didn’t want to make a fuss because it would have drawn too much attention my way. So I followed like a good dog and sat at the very end of the table. It was then I saw Sebastian across the table from me, sitting next to Flynn.
Luke, on the other hand, was sitting further down more in the center of the table still on the opposite side from me. That much I’d surmised on my way over there to sit down. So, he and I weren’t near each other. Based on my position, I could see him if I’d glanced his way. That is how I noticed the new girl that had been checking me out before school sitting next to him. She seemed to be enchanted by him. It clicked. Now it made sense why she’d checked me out. I n
early laughed, but then my heart sank at the thought she might replace me. She was pretty enough. With the wall at my back, I looked away from his direction. I didn’t want to see if his face registered surprise at my being there. And frankly, it was none of my business who he decided to date.
Amber sat across from me. We were kindred spirits. She was alone of sorts at the table with her ex and my ex-best friend Paul, who surprisingly made an appearance at lunch today. He sat opposite Flynn. Amber hadn’t been the coward I’d been. She’d continued to take the punishment of being near Paul and not being with him. I knew she still pined after him because she talked about him every day.
Soon after I sat down, the sounds of muffled oohs and ahhs came. Flynn's voice rose next. “Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!” I’d turned when I heard his voice and now he glanced at me. Immediately, I took it to mean that he’d noticed me sitting at the table for the first time in months. The guys laughed at his remark. I heard a girl say, “That is so sweet.” But I didn’t look to see who said it.
With movement in my peripheral vision, I caught Brent wrapping an arm around Maggie’s shoulder. He decided to be next and chimed in. “Okay, I got one.” He paused and only had eyes for her. “Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!” Muffled laughter erupted at the end of his sentence. The way he looked at her made me envious. I could see he really loved her.
Maggie gave him her winning smile. “Is that the best you’ve got?” she chided him.
He smiled back at her and didn’t take a moment to think. “I was wondering if you had an extra heart, mine seems to have been stolen,” he said, staring directly in her eyes as if she was the only one who existed. From the cadence of the sounds, more oohs and ahhs came from the girls at the table. Maggie rewarded Brent by giving him a quick kiss. She looked around to make sure they hadn’t been caught by any teachers. I looked away because it was painful to see what I couldn’t have especially on a day like today.
Jay, not wanting to be outdone, spoke to his long-time girlfriend Kathy. “There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look,” he said. I turned in time to see his ginger grin and her beam at him. More laughter came from the group.
Flynn, never one to let anyone have anything easy said, “Paul are you in?”
Paul looked faintly embarrassed for a second but quickly recovered. Gone was the shy boy, I fell for over two years ago. Now a confident handsome guy took his place. “I’m not sure you can top what I have,” Paul teased.
Flynn played along. “Let’s see what you’ve got then.” Paul was egged on by the rest of the table until he finally spoke. I guessed this was some sort of cheesy line contest.
“Fine,” he said. He looked at no one in particular, when he spoke. “I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.” The guys roared and the girls murmured affirmative comments. I actually liked that one and ventured a glance at him in time to see his line earned him a few back slaps.
Flynn didn’t wait. He countered. “Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.” Spinning into some sort of vortex, I zoned out on the laughter for a moment thinking I heard a version of this yesterday. Had Flynn been feeding me a line? I looked up in time to give Flynn an annoyed glare when I was caught by Luke’s unabashed stare. His face was lit up in a radiant smile. It warmed me all the way to my soul.
Luke spoke, as if he were talking to me, “If I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath.” My heart stopped. Time ceased to exist. It was just he and I for that moment in space.
Finally, I was able to turn away when I heard Brent say, “Man that was a good one.” I looked up in time to see the new girl giving me her version of a death ray glare. It seemed I’d earned myself a new enemy.
Flynn spoke to Luke drawing my attention away from the stupid girl, “Cut the romantic shit and get with the program.”
Before Luke could respond, Brent said, “Maybe you don’t have it in you, Flynn.”
Flynn rolled his eyes and said, “For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.”
Several gasped; I didn’t have time to be impressed before Paul chimed in again, “I have another.” He paused before adding, “Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?” I heard Amber audibly suck in a breath. That grabbed my attention and I looked at her looking at him. So I followed her gaze over to him and found he was looking at me. Pissed, I couldn't believe after avoiding me for months, now he had the nerve to stare at me.
Flynn’s voice had the noise of the lunch room crashing down around me again. “You two are full of shit.” You didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know he had to be referring to Luke and Paul.
Sebastian broke through interrupting Flynn's censure. “The best has yet to come,” he said. I heard a girl say ‘I wonder what he’s going to say to top that?’ Sebastian ignoring that comment said, “If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.” I didn’t look at Sebastian even though I thought he was right. That had been the best line I’d heard yet. It was the kind of line that would make a girl fall in love. So I avoided looking at him in favor of my lunch that I had yet to begin to eat. I sincerely didn’t think he would be looking at me. And I didn’t want to know either.
I couldn’t be certain, but I thought it was Amanda, who said, “OMG!” I had to agree. I certainly didn’t believe the demon had it in him. Finally, curiosity destined to kill the cat, I towards him in time to catch Flynn’s frown deepen. Sebastian was edging into his territory and he didn’t like it. School’s number-one hottie had been his title since the first day he’d graced these halls.
“You assholes. Try this on for size.” Flynn said and glanced at me then back at the table. “You’re like a dictionary; you add meaning to my life.” Another round of oohs and ahhs came from the captivated girls who sat nearby. I don’t think anyone thought Flynn had it in him. I had to give pause. It was an interesting choice of words if I were looking for more in them. Flynn’s nickname for me was Webster.
“He never said anything like that to me.” This time I was sure that had been voiced by Amanda.
I felt the burning eyes on me. So I looked up. Luke captured my gaze again and said, “If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.” My heart stopped. I was paralyzed to look away from him. In my peripheral vision, I caught the frown on the girl’s face who sat next him. So maybe she hadn’t replaced me after all. More likely, she wanted to.
Thankfully, another senior boy who apparently wasn’t dating anyone spoke. And when the words came out of his mouth, I understood why he was girlfriendless. “If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.”
A lot of yuck and that’s gross penetrated the table’s atmosphere. A rain of crumbled napkins showered over the boy. Of course, all the guys laughed at him, including Luke, who finally looked away from me. I was never so grateful for such a tactless comment. All too soon the laughter died and in the quiet space of time my nemesis decided to strike.
Okay, I’m not a confrontational person by nature. That is why my mom and I’d been at an impasse for a couple of months last year when I needed her to give me certain information about what I was, so I could move forward in my relationship. But everyone has their limits. And today was mine.
“So look who’s decided to join us with her roses today,” a voice said from the other end of the table. The word ‘roses’ was spoken as if it was a dirty word. The game of the corniest pickup lines was apparently over. The table got so quiet and others nearby stopped to listen as well. It was expected. With her tone, it was clear she’d wanted to start in on me. I am not sure why Nina hated me. She and Luke had broken up a couple of weeks before Luke and I had gotten together late last year. And we weren’t tog
ether anymore, so why did she still have it in for me. Maybe she’d noticed how he’s directed his lines at me. Ugh!
I looked up and noticed her for the first time. She sat on the opposite end of the table. She’d cut her hair off. It was now short in the back and layered longer in the front. The style was quite cute with her shiny midnight hair. Nevertheless, today wasn’t a day for compliments. I should have held my tongue, but I didn’t. Maybe it was the stress of being at the table. Maybe it was because I’d hoped to remain in the shadows and not draw attention to myself.
Although it felt longer, it had only been less than a few seconds before I said back, “What is your problem?” I asked. My voice was steady and sure. I looked her straight in her eyes. My eyes held all the confidence I’d gained in the last several months. I didn’t need her or any of the rest of the popular crowd’s approval.
“Did you get those roses by sleeping with every boy at this table?” she asked, using a caustic tone while holding my gaze. Her eyes weren’t friendly and her face held a scowl.
Although things were quiet, I could hear murmurs from those around me. They waited with bated breath for an escalation of violence. There was nothing I could say to that. I hadn’t slept with anyone. I was still a virgin, which somehow I doubted she could claim the same. However, I didn’t know that either. Whatever I said would sound too much like how a child would say ‘I know you are but what I’m I’. Even so, I couldn’t help myself. In a calm manner, I stood with my tray in one hand and flowers in the other.
Waiting for Mercy (Cambions) Page 3
