by Pamela Ann
I. Fucking. Cannot. With. Her.
“Exactly, I don’t want anything vacuumed. Thanks, but no thanks.” My shit was sitting still. They didn’t need to be evacuated. They could go when ready. Who invented this shenanigan anyway?
“You only live once. Come on, please? This will make me a happy girl. Indulge me this once.” Kells pouted while putting on a major sad face.
The woman never pouted. Talk about major guilt trip galore.
“Happy, really? Like knowing that you aren’t going through it alone makes you happy?” I whisper-hissed, torn with what to do next. “What if I have some allergy reaction to the tube they insert? Or I’ll be so stuffed with water I’ll die from it? Hell, if I die, I’m not even sure I have life insurance. What the hell, Kells!”
She frowned. “Are you saying you’re allergic to anal sex?”
What? “No—yes—well no, not that I’ve ever—Kells! Ugh you’re annoyingly hopeless.”
She was relentless, and it was making me nervous because I never won with her. She was would never yield. She was just that kind of person. God help me, I needed a miracle.
“You love me annoying.” She took my hand and pleaded some more. “If you do this, I’d love you forever. Besides … I don’t normally ask for favors, babe. Please, please?”
I could strangle her for being so persistent. “Fine, fine. But you owe me big time. And if shit hits the fan, I’m going to kill you.”
She had called me because she wanted to try out this new trend and didn’t want to go through it alone. How kind of her. If I came out of here limping, I would skin her alive.
The whole skittish ordeal wasn’t as terrifying as I thought it would. But it wasn’t comfortable, either. Was I traumatized? Probably. Would I try it again? Not in this lifetime. Was I still speaking to Kells? That was still being decided.
Chapter Nine
After dining at The Nice Guy, Kells took Anton and I to Warwick for more drinks and for some much-needed dancing, a great stress reliever, and one that was necessary after the afternoon I had.
The décor at the lounge was rustic meets modern chichi. A lot of wood, brown leather seats, with chandeliers that reminded me of the Medieval era. There were secured lounges that were designed in striped black and white for more privacy, but overall, it rendered a cozy flair of old Hollywood ambiance. It was elegant, and the kind of atmosphere I welcomed with opened arms.
With Kells’ connections, we darted past the line outside. And the moment we sat down at our reserved seating, Anton couldn’t help bursting into hysterics when he found out what Kells and I had been up to.
He held up both of his hands, cursing before directing us a cutting look. “I swear to Jaweh, God, and Allah. If either of you do some shit like that again, I’ll never forgive you. I’m not going to lose my virginity with some bullshit like that. I’m gay, but not that gay.”
Kells rolled her eyes, giggling. “Allah? First of all, you ain’t a Muslim, nor are you a Christian. And as for being a Jew, you’re not even a real Jew. Heck, you’re not even religious. You once said that you’re Buddhist deep in your heart, so none of that counts.”
“Whatever, I was born a Jew; I guess that counts for something,” he muttered before giddily clapping when our large bucket of selected drink arrived, along with some appetizers.
“Belvedere shots!” Plucking the bottle, I immediately twisted it open before lining up three shot glasses then carefully pouring the drink all the way to the rim. Handing them one of each, I then raised the miniscule glass, beaming. “Here’s to love and friendship, and to butts that don’t crack.”
Kells choked on her drink while I annihilated mine with one swift gulp.
“I love you guys,” Kells coughed out in amusement before she handed me her shot glass, ready for the next one.
“Holy shit balls on fire, it’s my Viking!” Anton shrieked as he held his chest, mouth agape. “Oh, my gawd, I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die tonight.”
“What Viking?”
Who? What? Where? There was only one Viking for him, and that man wasn’t in Los Angeles. He had to be mistaken.
“It’s him! It’s fucking him!” He reached to touch Kells and I before he dug his fingers into our skin, too engrossed as he honed his eyes with laser-like focus across the room with his mouth hanging ajar. “I can’t breathe. I think I need an ambulance.”
“Shut up. You always say that when you have diarrhea.” Kells smirked at Anton, sending him a look that assured him that he seemed less than nothing but a crazed fan.
“Look!” he hissed while hyperventilating. The guy was seriously having breathing problems.
Kells and I both glanced toward where he pointed. A few tables down, there was a man who could alarmingly be River’s doppelganger. But it couldn’t be him because he was out on location across the Atlantic Ocean. There was no way this man was him. It was a false alarm, but I couldn’t very well tell him that. Then I would have to explain myself.
“Jesus, it really is River Ellis,” Kells sighed, green eyes glued at the table where his doppelganger was located. There were about ten of them, six men and four women. Scratch that, four delicately-clad hot women.
“He’s so—” Anton choked up, looking close to tears. “He’s so fucking perfect.”
Drawing my eyes away from the group, I quickly glanced back toward my friends, who seemed too dumbfounded to do anything but stare.
“It’s probably not him. For all we know, there’s, like, a bunch of River Ellis look-alike. This is tinseltown, after all.” Shrugging, I happily busied myself with another round of drinks. This time, I was all for a dirty martini. “Drinks anyone?” I asked, but it was like they didn’t hear me.
Anton made a strangled sound. “Our eyes connected. Oh, my God, I felt a jolt of electricity.”
I quickly glanced at my dear friend, wondering if he really needed an ambulance because his behavior was unprecedented. Was the man about to pass out?
Good God, if he knew the truth, he wouldn’t speak to me for a month.
Kells looked stricken as she dragged her eyes away. Dipping her head close to us, she then whispered, “He got up … If he comes over here and turns out to be gay, there’s something really wrong with this world. All hot guys seem to be gay these days.”
Who was coming over? My heart stopped working at that point. Oh, fuck … OH, HOLY FUCK.
Now it was me in panic mode. Much to my horror, the doppelganger really was heading our way. And the closer he got, the more my heart thumped harder against my chest. I felt hot and cold all over, my ears rung, and everything seemed to be out of focus. It was my turn to hyperventilate.
Hysteria seized me so much so that I almost choked on my own saliva. And when the man in question finally stood before our table, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“Hello, Cara.”
There was no mistaking, it was him. No man on earth had a voice like his. I would know it anywhere. It was the sound that haunted my dreams. But it was also the echo of happiness, the light that brought in beauty into my sordid, ugly-filled world. River Ellis.
What a coincidence. The universe sure had a way of fucking with my heart.
God help me. If these instances kept on, how would I survive, let alone cope from the backlash? It was toying with me, and I hated being reminded how unstable my emotions became when he honed in his focus on me. There was no escaping him.
My eyes connected with his, and my heart galloped faster. For a brief moment, I felt like Anton, breathless and out of sorts. How did he have such an overwhelming power over me when I had known this man even before he became someone revered by the world?
Unabashed with my lack of greeting, he diverted his attention to my friends, whose eyes busied flickering to and fro. “I’m River, Cara’s friend from the olden days.” He stuck his hand out to Kells first to shake.
River was in his Don Juan mode, and no woman was immune. He smoldered. He conquered. You became impri
soned, enraptured; your senses arrested. There was no escaping once he locked in on you.
“I’m Kells, err, uh, Cara’s friend.” They shook hands before he directed it next toward Anton.
“God, I’m such a huge fan,” Anton gushed as he shook River’s hand. He held it like River was some kind of royalty. “I love your work—” He paused, looking like something had just clicked in his brain. “You were the guy on the phone! Holy shit balls.” He glanced back at me.
Kells, who seemed too sharp not to piece the puzzle together, immediately invited River to sit with us. A part of me prayed that he would decline, but River was beyond delighted. So much so that he was sliding in the booth next to me before Kells could even finish the invitation.
“So, you guys are old friends, huh?” Kells immediately interrogated before raising her brow at me, playfully grinning toward us. Gone was that awestruck look of hers, and in came mischief and pure curiosity. She was like a retired detective.
“Yeah, from middle school. We actually grew up together,” River responded without hesitation, making me wonder how much information he was willing to divulge.
“Damn, that’s like waaaay back, back.” Kells pasted a cat-got-the-cream kind of smiles, green eyes gleaming. “Wonder why little Miss Missy here didn’t tell us she knew you. I mean, after all, we’ve done back-to-back movie marathons of TVM every other month.”
River immediately directed his dashing grin at me, daring me to say something truthful. Instead, all I could think about was …
“I thought you were out filming in Ireland,” I blurted, agitated and confused as to why he was here, sitting with my friends and having this damning conversation.
His dark depths bore into mine, arresting me. “I was. I am, but I had a prior commitment to shoot a commercial tomorrow, so I had to fly out here. This was all scheduled beforehand.”
Why didn’t he mention it the last time we spoke? And for the love of everything holy, when would my breathing normalize? It was maddening how my body reacted to him.
The second he heard about his favorite franchise ending, Anton became a diehard fan once again. “You’re shooting the last film? God, I’m beyond stoked for that. When are you flying back out?”
Odd as it was, River didn’t seem to mind the direct questions my friends threw at him. “Tomorrow night. I’m only here to shoot then bounce out again. I got in an hour ago. It’s my boy’s birthday tonight, so I can’t skip not going out with him.”
Anton batted his lashes at River, blatantly enthralled by his presence. “That’s nice, but stressful. I don’t do pressure like that. I’d probably curl up and die from overthinking and functioning.”
“What did you think of Cara’s performance in Clover?” Kells asked, ready to get down to the details.
River lovingly gazed at me with one of those toe-curling, hellish smiles of his. “She was brilliant. Really proud of her. She was just amazing to me. She always has been, though, so I wasn’t surprised. She does everything well, just name it—dancing, singing, acting … I’m her biggest fan.”
Kells’ face perked up, looking like she was piecing a very curious entertaining puzzle. “So, you guys used to sing, dance, and act together, too?”
“She was the one who inspired me to act. I wouldn’t be in this position now if it weren’t for her,” River modestly admitted as he quickly glanced at Kells then gazed back at me with those expressive eyes of his. “She’s been an inspiration.”
Why was he giving me credit for his gift? I did nothing but encourage.
“You were good at what you did. Everyone thought so back then. I did nothing really.”
“You did more than you think,” River interjected.
Anton and Kells looked at each other like they had just found out the America’s nuclear codes and didn’t know what to do with them.
“So, you guys were the best of friends, then?” Anton quipped, raised brows, wicked smile, and all.
River’s smile dimmed a little, remembering the past. “We were thick as thieves.”
I was silent, pondering his responses. Going down memory lane agitated me. Tonight was about having fun. Getting emotional wasn’t on my to-do list.
Not only did I find the prospect daunting, it was stifling, too, a surefire to dampen my perky mood. However, it seemed that my friends weren’t going to stop grilling River. And since they knew I wasn’t forthcoming, this would be the best bet to get answers to any of their lingering questions.
“Let me see here, so you, like, skyrocketed to fame, fell out of touch, and now you guys just reunited again? Does that mean we’ll be seeing hella lot of you?” Anton fanned his lashes. No doubt the thought of seeing his so-called idol was the best news he had ever had.
River cocked his head toward me before tapping his fingers on the table. “That depends on, Cara. but I do want to restore our friendship.”
Feeling bombarded by emotions, I wanted to crawl underneath the table.
“This is not the time and place, you guys. Where’s the fun in this?” I asked timidly before organizing another shot to drown them all out.
“You two are too cute,” Anton sighed, the wheels in his head kept turning, seeing something I wouldn’t agree on. “Can we take a selfie?”
Not those again. I wasn’t in the mood to project a happy smile face.
“Not with me, you can’t, sorry. But I’m sure River won’t mind.”
Anton appeared hurt from my immediate rejection. “Oh, you’re such a killjoy. Maybe next time, then. If Parker gets green with envy, then that’s his problem. I tell you, that man is like borderline obsessed with you. He’s gotta take some Ambien or something to chill.”
Of all the times to complain about the present man in my life, it wasn’t necessary in the presence of my ex fiancé. But my friends didn’t know that.
I threw a pleading look at Anton, hoping he would shut up. “Anton, he’s a little too much sometimes, but he means well,” I reiterated the same excuse that I, myself, was getting tired of hearing.
“Sorry. Maybe it is, but sheesh … I love you, Sprinkles, but you can’t deny there’s some truth it. With that said, let’s just have some fun tonight, yeah?”
Kells poured another drink, took a few lengthy sips before throwing her arm around Anton. “I feel like dancing. Come on; show me some hot and spicy moves.”
“This fat ass can jiggle, but sure.” Anton winked at us before getting pulled by Kells. “Excuse us.”
Watching them leave, I then reverted my attention back to the man next to me. I was nervous like I was on my first date—full of jitters and uncertainty.
My eyes were drawn to his hand that casually rested on the table. The very sight of it brought me back to the way it used to caress me, sending me to heaven with a simple stroke, a graze.
Flashbacks were a damnable thing, most especially if he person was right next to you, larger than life.
Dragging my eyes away, I caught his impenetrable gaze, and for a brief moment, I felt something zap inside like a jolt of electricity, bringing me back to life, making me feel alive like never before.
“Hi,” he whispered, vivid eyes heatedly trapping me, luring me to focus on him and his lips.
My mouth ran dry as I tried to regain my composure. “Hi.”
It was the way he was gazing and smiling at me. He was being ridiculously cute, and I was instantly transported back in time. Gone was the darkness and hurt and the past that was riddled with pain and betrayal. I was simply a woman who was enthralled by a man who touched my baser instincts, making feel beautiful by a mere gaze alone.
Dark eyes probed into mine, unsubtly scrutinizing my face. “Are you mad at me for bombarding on you like this?”
I felt bombarded all right, but not for the reasons he suggested.
Sitting so close to him, my body felt electrified, awakened from a long hiatus. A physical force that never waned wherever he was concerned.
Shaking my head, I wondered if he h
ad any idea where my mind had wandered. Then I shyly smiled at him, barely meeting his intense gaze. “No, I’m not. Anton’s a huge fan of yours. He’s going to kill me; I know it.”
He chuckled before bearing a sly smile. “Well, I’ll ask him not to. I hope that’ll help.”
Oh, he was really pulling out the big guns tonight with that sexy, knee-buckling smile of his.
Toying with my glass, I tried to calm my unsteady heart. “It might work, seeing that he’s got a major crush on you.”
He laughed. “I seem to get that a lot.”
That sound of his laugh—deep, husky, sexy as fuck, God help me. It was doing crazy things to me.
“I don’t doubt it.” Biting the bottom of my lip, I tried to concentrate on other things, instead of the way my pussy seemed to have activated, contracting and begging for him. Yeah, my vagina literally was calling out to him. Some ridiculous psychic my pussy was.
“It’s good to see you. I thought about visiting, but then I realized that I may not be welcome … so seeing you here’s definitely a nice surprise.”
God, he looked ridiculously delicious. I hadn’t noticed before, but his hair was longer. It went all the way to his chin. The sexy Viking grunge look was driving my libido into overdrive. And no matter how I tried to deny it, it felt amazing to be feeling this way again.
If he could read my thoughts, he would most likely tease me.
But back to lucid thoughts, I recalled what he just stated about seeing me.
Not meeting his gaze, I tried to play it cool, acting unaffected by his magnetizing sex appeal. “It’s good to see you, too,” I murmured, while I contemplated how in the world I managed to despise the man for so long yet still reacted to him.
He inched his hand over the table, reaching for my pinky finger before loosely holding it. “Do you mean that?” he whispered, looking intently at me, searching my face.
“I do mean it.” It had to be the alcohol that got made me less feisty and more compliant toward his advances. It had lowered my defenses.
