by Pamela Ann
His smile broadened before using that said envelope to smack my foot. “No, silly. Although, I wouldn’t mind one if you agree to it.” Joining me in bed, he handed me the daunting thing, piquing my curiosity. “This is for you.”
Brows furrowing, I skeptically eyed him before carefully taking hold of it. “You’re making me nervous.” More than that, actually. There was an eerie feeling deep in my gut that wouldn’t subside as I cautiously opened the damn thing. It contained papers—documents, titles, and a copy of a will in case of death. River’s will. “What the fuck?” I gasped as I gazed at him accusingly. “Are you dying?” If he was hiding something, I was going to rip him apart with my bare hands.
“Don’t look so sad, babe. But no, hopefully death won’t be for the next few decades.” As explanations went, he failed.
My eyes flickered toward the scattered papers on the bed. “But …” My heart pounded against my chest. I felt lightheaded as I waited for him to give a clear, proper answer.
“Both homes I have, they’re half yours. And in case of my death, you get everything—mutual funds, cars, savings, the houses, and some rental properties.”
Horrified, I stared at him. “But why?”
He thoughtfully gazed at me before bestowing that signature gorgeous smile of his. “Because you’re the only one I care about. But most of all, you’re family, and I love you. I work hard so that someday you’ll enjoy it. I had these drafted last year. I always thought of you, even when you weren’t in my life, Cara. I hope this proves just how much.”
“What if I decline it?” I didn’t want to be the one reaping the fruits of his labor. We weren’t together anymore, and even if we saw each other as family, it just wouldn’t be right. “This is all too much …” Too much, too soon.
“You don’t have a choice. it’s already set in stone.” Seeking my hand, he took hold of it before bringing it to his lips. Placing his arm behind his head he then brought out entwined hands against his chest before moving his head to the side, glancing at me. “On a lighter note … Phoenix wants me to get into music. We’ve been playing and toying with some new songs for the past year, but last week, he’s been pushing me to get into it more.”
Phoenix was a DJ, but apparently, he was willing to do more than play and party at clubs. But crossing over could be catastrophic for River.
“How do you feel about that?” Music was and will always be his first love. He once told me that it was the other love of his life, apart from me.
“I’m still on the fence about it. Making an album requires one hundred percent dedication.”
He would have to take a hiatus in the movie industry. He had already made four blockbuster films and another one on the way. He already made a name for himself. Maybe it was the right time to indulge in what he loved most.
“You’d be amazing. I know you will. Your voice is beautiful. It’s raw, has depth, and it has a way of connecting into one’s emotions, to one’s psyche. Not a lot of artists have that gift, River. You’re obligated to share it to the world.”
He cocked his eyebrow at me. “Obligated?” He poked the side of my hip. “What else do I have to do for you, my petal? I love hearing you praise me.”
I was sure he did.
“You know what I mean, weirdo.” I couldn’t help it. I just had to kiss him, for reasons I dared not explore. “You love music more than acting; we both know that.”
“I do. I love both, but I can’t juggle it together.” He pondered before letting out a laborious sigh. “I’m in talks for another franchise after finishing TVM, so we’ll see.”
It was endearing that he was letting me in on his life this way. This was a behemoth move, and I was pleased he shared this moment with me.
“I really think you should pursue it. You might never get the chance to again. You’re so known now that your fans would adore you more if they know how sexy your voice is.” Sexy didn’t begin to cover it. I swooned each time he sang like a total besotted idiot.
“Oh, yeah? So, you think my voice is sexy?” He rolled me on top of him before kissing me, unrestrained.
“That came out wrong. You know what I mean,” I said sheepishly while he tightened his hold on me. Lovingly gazing at his face, I felt warm all over at the mere thought that I might fall in love with him without even realizing.
“Cara, stop blushing like that. It always gets me hard,” he pleaded before playfully stroking my inner thigh, beyond tempted to satiate his hunger that vividly showed in his eyes.
Licking my lips, I wondered if he was going to break his sentiment earlier about not having sex.
“I’m sorry. You know I blush so easily.”
“I know … Trust me, I know.” He snaked his other hand inside my shirt, seeking the soft mound of my breast, softly grazing it with the pad of his thumb. “I want you, and I know you won’t resist me if I try to take you, but not today, petal. As crazy as this sounds, I love just spending time with you. Nothing could trump sex, but this is the second best, and I’d rather wait until I see you next time.”
Since when did he become so good at controlling his sexual desires? The old River would only cease when I could barely walk to the bathroom.
“I have to fly out soon. Why don’t you come with me and drop me off at the airport, then my driver will take you home?”
We were reaching new territory, unchartered and definitely unfamiliar.
“I can get Uber. I don’t mind.” Maybe getting away from him would clear my thoughts. I hadn’t been thinking straight since he took off his clothes last night in the bathroom.
“I want to spend every second with you before I take off.” He took my hand and kissed each of my fingertips. “Also, I quickly dropped by a shop before coming home to get you something to change into. I hope you don’t mind.”
He went shopping for me? Now that was unheard of. River was always so attentive, but never to this extent.
“How’d you figure out my size?”
“Eyeballed it?” He smiled sheepishly before rolling me over to my back, him now on top of my willing body. “Now, woman, will you please spend these few hours with me before running off to your place? I won’t see you for another three weeks.”
If he weren’t being so cute, I would have probably declined him. “All right, if you really want me to.”
“Oh, I always want you, too.”
So, that’s what we did. We spent time together in bed, catching up as he described the set in Ireland and how his life had been without me. He also softly reprimanded me that I hadn’t been to see Mattie since I had left. River saw her as a mother figure, too. But unlike me, he had been attentive to her needs. He had told her to shut down the fostering after she suffered a mild stroke. He paid off her house, gave her monthly stipends, and hired a round the clock caregiver to make sure she was well and cared for.
Time passed and before we realized it, it was time to get ready to leave for the airport. River brought one of the bags he came in with earlier, packed with clothes that were somewhat my size. There was a selection to choose from, but I settled on simple cutout jeans and a sleeveless crop top before putting my hair in a loose chignon. My face was makeup free, but thanks to the wild sex, my rosy cheeks made up for it. Leaving my wet clothes behind, I slipped into my nude Loubies before seeking out River, who was busy tapping on his phone.
“Everything okay?” I asked timidly before kissing his cheek. I could get used to this close intimacy with him.
Dropping his phone on the bed, he gave me his undivided attention through a mind-mending kiss. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For making me happy.”
Squashing the tremors of doubts that sprouted out of nowhere, a deep ache settled within my heart. Peering through my lashes, I envied the love that shone freely in his eyes. “I didn’t do anything, River.” Last night happened because I succumbed to him on a primal level. Hopefully he wouldn’t see it any other way.
“You
did, my little petal, more than you’d understand.”
I understood more than I was letting on, but since my actions had more than baffled me, for the time being, I was willing to let bygones be bygones. We had great, mind-blowing sex. That was all.
The ride to the private airstrip was seemingly pleasant. River was busy with emails and making short calls to the production team in Ireland, which left me in a sweet, thoughtless reverie.
He turned to me when the car halted at our destination. The jet was waiting for him on the tarmac. “Please promise me that you’ll take care of yourself?”
“I will.”
“I have to go.” He softly sighed before giving me another toe-curling kiss. “I love you, Cara Quinn.”
Damn. “River …” I began but he immediately shushed me.
“You better get used to me telling and showing you just how much. I know you’re never going to give me a chance, but oblige me for a little bit longer.”
His statement made me clutch my chest before I nodded.
He then lightly tapped the side of the driver’s headrest. “Drive safely, will you, Joe? Take her home safe for me. Thanks, man.”
Joe dipped his head in response. “Roger that, boss.”
River let out a chuckle before thanking Joe once again then reverting his attention to me. Cradling my cheeks between his palms, he lightly pecked my forehead. “Bye, beautiful.”
My heart fluttered for the last time today before kissing him with everything I had. “Bye, beautiful,” I murmured the same sentiment.
He made a thunderous laugh before winking at me.
Solemn in my lonesome, I watched him stride toward the jet then climb the steps two at a time before finally disappearing from view.
I had a few weeks to figure out what to do next without him clouding my thoughts with bombastic sex and earthshattering kisses. But I must say, I had never felt more alive in my life. River touched something deep within. He had awoken the fire that been buried in the scarred depths of my soul. For that, I was grateful.
Chapter Thirteen
“What happened to you and River?” Anton asked as we drove to see Kells on-set for The Cold Conflict music video.
It had been two days since we had seen each other. Yesterday was filled with sleep and much-needed rest from my overexerted night with River. It had been ages since someone really fucked me. Fucked me so deeply that I could still feel him throbbing, pounding inside my walls. I knew I wasn’t hallucinating, but good grief, the frustration at night was unbearable. I longed for him. But what he lacked in presence, River called and texted whenever he had free time.
It was dangerous that we were reverting back to our old ways after I had reinstated time and time again that I wasn’t interested in rekindling our relationship. However, the man was unyielding.
I glanced toward one of my best friends and considered his question. “What do you mean by that?” Everyone witnessed I disappeared with him in his bedroom, but I wanted to pick Anton’s brain before stating anything. Discussing my love life wasn’t one of my strongest fortes.
“Have you seen the way he looks at you, sprinkles? His eyes were on you every time I looked at him. Like Christ, I’ve never seen anyone like that. He’s not one of your, like, secret stalkers, is he?”
I had stalkers, let alone secret ones? Ha.
“Well you see; River’s sort of like … you know … my first love, my first boyfriend.” Damn, that was hard to say out loud.
“I don’t know if he got the memo ’cause there’s no mistaking how much he still wants you. We all have eyes, and we all agree that he is crazy for you.”
“Yeah, but I’m not treading back to memory lane. Not like that, anyway. We’re just friends now.” Hearing that made it all the hollower. Did I really believe that? Fuck, River was trouble.
Anton almost hit the brakes as he stared at me, askance. “Friends? You just want to be friends with River Ellis? Not only is he one of the biggest stars today, but shit, Cara, have you seen how perfectly perfect of a specimen he is? How can you resist when he looks like he’s about to devour your sexy, beautiful pussy on the spot?”
“No, he doesn’t!” I exclaimed, aghast. River was always going to be that kid I grew up with and no some mega star that people saw him as. Besides, nothing could change the past, even though I wanted to erase all the bad memories when I was with him. “He betrayed me, Anton. That’s why it’s never going to work.”
“He cheated?”
And that was where the argument lied.
“He says he didn’t, but there were just too many women. And when Hailey Mavis came into the picture, I just couldn’t handle it.” To this day, that woman could rile me up like no other. My stomach coiled at the memory of her all over him, kissing his cheek and what of it.
“Oh, her. Yeah, she’s so cunty.” Anton threw me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, baby cakes. I’m sure that must’ve been hard to witness.”
He had no idea.
“I’m over it. I mean, I moved on from all that.” Lies. Lies. Lies. Hearing that wretched woman’s name made me want to gouge my eyes out.
“Don’t you want to give him a second chance, though? I’m sure this time will be different.”
“No, I don’t believe in second chances, Anton. River had one, and he royally blew it. I have nothing left to give him.”
“But that’s really extreme.” My friend gazed at me as though I had just announced I was the man behind Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
“River’s life is extreme. I can’t compete with it. Do you know how many women they try to pair him with? You know how it is here. Everyone’s a model or tries to look like one. I can’t put myself through all that bullshit. I’ve been there, done that. No more.” Or the insecurity and the uncertainty that came along with it. It took quite a lot for a woman to put up a lot of the twisted upheaval and mind fuckery. I had retired from that. My life was peaceful these days.
“Well, that’s a shame.” He sighed. “I really was hoping to see you get married and shit.”
I stared at him in horror. “Let’s not ruin the morning, okay? I need coffee before you can continue grilling me in the hot seat.”
“You’ve got yourself a deal, babe.” He tapped on the steering wheel before glancing toward his navigation. “We’re almost there. I’m actually excited about this.”
“So am I.” I beamed as my thought drifted toward how the day would unfold. This was an exciting experience, and I was ecstatic that our friend decided to let us in on it.
The set was in one of the Malibu’s caves. With the sun barely just out in the horizon, the beautiful set was breathtaking. The place was lined with trailers, tents, and a lot of lighting. While the sound check crew busied themselves, we scoured for our friend, who just happened to be in the finishing touches of the lead in the band, Will.
From a few feet away, my eyes were glued to his side profile. The British rock star didn’t disappoint. He was gorgeous, tatted up, and had danger written all over him.
“I like to stare at him and all, but how about we check out the food? I need coffee and a few muffins to stop scaring people away with the roaring riot inside my stomach?” Anton grumbled as I heard the loud angry sound from his belly.
“Jesus, let’s go before you pass out.” I giggled as I grabbed his arm.
As excited, as I was to be here, nothing could beat the thought of being back in the cozy, soft confines of my bed.
“Shhh, silence! I kill you.” He glared at me as we trotted toward the tent where everything we needed was located.
I giggled. “Oh, stop it, Achmed ‘the dead terrorist’.” It was the playful banter we always used. “Can I take you to one of those The Art of Shaving places? I’m sure they’d be thrilled to take you on.”
His eyes widened. “I’ve always wondered what it’d be like, so sure. You’re driving me there and taking me to lunch.”
Well, wasn’t he a bossy one.
“Thank Go
d. It’s time to let go of Yogi the Bear.” I was more than willing to dish out whatever needed to get him primed to his old self. I knew he had self-esteem issues since he had gained more than fifty pounds in the past year. Hopefully once I had sorted out my schedule, Anton and I could take some serious butt-kicking classes to get in serious shape.
While Anton busied himself with the blueberry muffins and pain au chocolate, my eyes roved to more pressing matters, such as refueling my body with much needed coffee. Pouring the freshly roasted blend in my Styrofoam cup before adding two packets of raw sugar, I carefully took a sip, loving how it faintly burnt my tongue as it travelled down my throat.
“Grr … What the bull? Why’s my mother calling me this early? Nothing good will come out of this.” Anton groaned as he stared at screen of his phone.
Anton had a peculiar relationship with his mother, but what did I know about mothers? I never got the chance to know what that felt like.
“I’ll meet you back at Kells’ tent.” Waving at him, I made my exit as I cautiously sipped my hot beverage when I unceremoniously tripped over a piece of equipment.
I cried out from pain and shock, about to lose my balance, when I felt a strong hand steady me. How embarrassing and out on set, too. What the hell was going on?
“Are you okay?” a man asked, almost leaning into me.
Still in a daze, I looked up at my savior. Hazel eyes zeroed in on me. Beautiful and quite extraordinary. Oh my, I thought as I tried to catch my breath.
“Yes, I think I’m okay,” I nervously croaked out, disconnecting from his gaze.
“I’m Kyle Mathews.” There was faint amusement in his voice. Most likely because I seemed like a train wreck.
“Cara Quinn.” God, he was so hot. I couldn’t think straight. And why was he staring at me still? What a total disaster.
“Can I get you anything, Cara Quinn?” he asked.
“I … uh … no. I’m hot. No, I’m cool.” WTF? “Sorry, I haven’t caffeinated yet; that’s why I’m such a hot mess.” God, strike me with lightning now before I embarrass myself further.
