by Pamela Ann
“You shouldn’t want a man like me, Lil. I’m not good enough for you.” Drake sounds serious; however, I’m having none of it.
No . . . You’re even better . . . I’ve never met anyone like you. The rest of the men lack brilliance when compared to you . . .
“Why would you say that? You’re the only one I want.” I move closer, feeling brazen when he doesn’t move away. I stand on my tiptoes and lick his lips. He tastes of salt and something masculine. My heart is beating erratically; I feel exhilarated and faint at the same time from being so close to him. “I want you . . . I want you to be the one to take my virginity away.”
I feel Drake’s chest heave before he rasps out, “I don’t think you get what I’m trying to tell you here . . .”
Yes, I’m not dense, but I want you so much, Drake Tatum. I’ve loved you for so long. Tonight, I will have you . . . even for a little while.
“I do, but would you rather I do it with someone else then, like Ricardo, perhaps?” I know I’m playing with fire . . . but I’m desperate. I want Drake to see me as a woman. A woman he can be with and desire—not the little girl with frilly dresses that would follow him around.
“Don’t even go there, Lil,” he resigns, heavily huffing and continues on, “OKAY, if this is what you want, then meet me on the veranda in fifteen minutes. Go get ready because there will be no backing out once you come to me. Think it through, okay?”
What else was there to think through? It’s what I’ve wanted; what I’ve waited for.
3
Present
Drake showed me the world that night as he took me underneath the stars on the patio bed.
The next day I realized that world has two sides. One world of ceaseless ecstasy and one full of crumbled, guttered and wretched pain from having your love thrown back at you.
Yes, Drake Tatum irrevocably broke my heart and I will never, ever forget it.
“I will be upstairs, Dear,” Patricia Tatum says.
It’s a quarter before nine and she is being kind enough to guide me on my first day of work in Tatum Worldwide, Inc. I suppose she needed to make sure that I will really go through with her plans.
“Okay, I’m coming into the parking lot now. Be up soon,” I respond before cutting off the call.
I’m a nervous wreck. I’ve been up since five this morning and have already had two cups of coffee. I skipped on breakfast because I didn’t think I could keep anything down, but who could blame me? I haven’t seen Drake in eight years—eight long years after that fiasco in Mexico. I did wait around for him, even going overboard by trying to visit him at Colombia, but he emailed me stating that he was with someone and wouldn’t appreciate my intrusion. After his rebuff, I finally realized what little I meant to him; if I ever meant anything to him at all.
I’m dressed in a fitted black skirt suit and my favorite black pumps. I need to look professional and still pull off the slick and sexy look. Heck, yes! Given the circumstances, I will not go in there looking drab and dowdy, my pride won’t allow it.
Once inside the large marbled building, I immediately seek the reception desk. They have already been informed about me and have my security pass ready.
I smirk when I see my picture was actually taken two years ago. I’m sure she got that from my mother. Patricia Tatum really is adamant about booting the woman in her son’s life. I guess the mother-in-laws really are the ones to watch out for, right?
Following what I’ve been instructed to do, I dart toward a separate private elevator. My security card is cleared for all levels; however, this elevator goes straight to the top floor. I’ve been informed that the top floor houses only Drake’s and Hugh’s offices.
As I step out, I can see that the offices are decorated in all glass and white walls; everything looks crisp and pristine. The black marbled floor is so shiny, I’m sure I could use it as a mirror.
“Miss Lily Alexander? Hello, I’m Suzy Summers, the floor receptionist.” A smiling petite blonde rushes toward me and holds out a hand.
“Hello, Suzy. How do you do?” I smile back, taking her outstretched hand and shaking it.
“I’m awesome. Mrs. Hugh is in Mr. Drake’s office. She’s been waiting for you. You can go through those large doors on the left and Mindy, his secretary, will be there to assist you further.” I graciously thank her and head toward the direction she gave me.
When I go through the doors, I’m surprised Mindy isn’t there. It’s a large room with two large desks and another reception area in the corner. Another set of heavy doors are located on the far end and I rush toward them. I gently knock and push it forward.
Patricia is sitting idly on the white couch, looking bored while drinking her morning coffee and eating a few pastries. She looks up when she sees me.
“Good morning, my dear.” She strides forward and gives me a tight motherly hug. “Thank you, again, for doing this favor for us.” Patricia holds my chin and smiles beautifully at me.
“No problem. It’s not like I can say no to my godmother and Hugh, anyway.” I kiss her cheek, go to the couch and sit down.
The cute, bite-size pastries look delicious and I pick one out. Patricia heads over to prepare another cup of coffee.
I sigh when she hands it to me. “Thank you, Pat,” I murmur.
“Soooo,” Patricia says as she sits next to me, “Drake should be here soon, but I think I should be here just in case he rejects the idea and you two end up fighting.”
I guess we’re that predictable?
I nod as I take a sip of coffee. “Are you seeing anyone, Lil? Your mom says you aren’t, but a pretty young lady like you would have a busy schedule, right?” Patricia leans back and studies me.
After the demise of my close relationship with Drake, I eventually started to withdraw from being around his family, too. It’s just too hard and it’s easier to ignore everyone that is related to him. It’s childish, I know, but it is the best I can do and eight years on, it’s a habit I can’t break. Although I see them once every few months, I avoid any parties and events that Drake attends. I guess I’m now realizing it’s time to bury the hatchet and move on. I can’t hold a grudge forever, now can I?
“I actually just started dating someone. His name is Jared Johnson. Nothing serious, yet, we’re still in the ‘getting to know you’ stage. Why? Has mom said something?” Mom is always trying to set me up on dates. She feels like I should start working on her grandchild very soon. Seriously, I’m only twenty-six, what’s the rush?
“I was curious is all—” We are interrupted by the sudden opening of the door.
Drake comes in, dressed casually in a pair of rugged jeans and a white dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up. Wow, scruffy and very sexy indeed! I think with piqued interest. Time has only made him look better. Gone is the boyish look and in its place is definitely a man. A man with a dangerous appeal and tons of charisma.
“No, baby. I’m already at work—” He cuts off mid-sentence when he sees that he has visitors. With his eyes glued on me, he instantly cuts his call short. “Lemme call you back.”
Silver, glittering eyes penetrate me like laser beams. “Well, well, well. This is a nice surprise on a Monday morning, Mother, Lily. How may I assist you both?” He goes over to Patricia’s side and kisses her cheek.
Drake then sits on the chaise sofa opposite us; metallic eyes still glued on me. I should be intimidated by those gorgeous eyes and their intensity, but I’m simply not. In fact, it has the opposite effect. I feel revitalized and enlivened. Something shifts inside me. It’s something that I cannot pinpoint at this very moment, but I know it has a purpose.
Could it be closure? That I’m not the love struck, sick puppy to this man anymore? Quite possibly . . . it’s somewhere along the lines of that. It just has to be.
“I hired Lily as your new assistant. We were just catching up. How’s your morning, my dear son?” Patricia looks at Drake with an expression full of love and affection. It’s no se
cret how Hugh and Pat adore their only child. They wanted to have another baby, but Patricia couldn’t get pregnant anymore. I suppose, maybe, that’s why she dotes on me. Even if I don’t see her much, each week she will send muffins, flowers, chocolates or whatever else she can think of. She’s a sweetheart and loves me like her own daughter.
“I see. I actually requested HR to start interviewing for that position.” He leans over and gets himself a croissant. I notice how big and manly his hand is; it’s quite sexy.
Shit, do I have to associate sexy with him all the time? Get a grip, Lil!
“Oh, your father already took care of that the instant Lily agreed to work for you.” She places her coffee down on the mahogany table.
Drake momentarily stills. “I see.”
Does he really SEE?
He clears his throat and gets up. “I suppose that’s a done deal. You okay with that, Lil?” His silver eyes land on me, again.
I give him a cat-like smile. “Oh, yeah, I sure am.” Hell yeah, I am. I’m going to enjoy torturing the jackass. Bury the hatchet, my ass! I guess my evil side is starting to come out? I can really see myself having a little fun making his life a little difficult. Yes, that definitely sounds enticing.
“That’s lovely! It’s great to see you two in the same room again. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Since Mexico, I mean,” Patricia wonders.
Oh crapper, did she have to bring up that subject? What happened in Mexico with Drake was a mistake. Drake was a mistake.
“Uh-huh . . .” I respond, reaching for my coffee again. I need some kind of distraction.
Patricia stands up and gathers her purse. “Alright, children, I’ll leave you two to hash the details out. I have to get ready to meet your mother for our tennis match.” She kisses me, then Drake before striding out the door with gracious composure. She can be intimidating, especially when she’s all riled up, but Patricia is still a stunning woman.
With only the two of us in his office, it just starts to get awkward. Time to get moving, I think with enthusiasm.
“So, will you show me my office and we can go over the details of my job?” I look up to him innocently, quite ready to start working. This job is a great opportunity for me to meet new people and gain new connections. Maybe even meet a few guys along the way.
“You’re really serious about this? Mom didn’t force you to work for me? Maybe spy on me a little on the side?” Drake quirks up a brow.
Ha.
I shrug. “Your mom said you needed an assistant. I needed a job.” It’s not technically a lie. I just danced around his questions a bit.
4
“Right.” Drake is still studying me like a specimen for some kind of exhibit.
I stand up and skim my hands over my skirt, smoothing out the invisible wrinkles. “Okay. Can we now get started?” I go to grab my purse, not wanting to talk to Drake any more than I have to.
“I haven’t seen you in eight years, Lil. Is that all you have to say? There’s no ‘How are you, Drake?’ or ‘It’s nice to see you again?’”
Uh, not really.
We didn’t really part on good terms, so I see no need for pleasantries or the pretense that it is nice to see him because I couldn’t care less about how he’s doing—or who he’s doing, for that matter.
“To be honest, I don’t really care for that,” I admit. “I came here to work for you and that’s what I’ll do. We’re not friends anymore, Drake,” I state it as matter-of-factly as possible.
“You’re right. We were just practically like family. We were never friends.” His hand goes to the side of his scruffy jaw, rubbing along it. I can tell he’s still waiting and stalling with this conversation.
Why can’t he just drop it? It was a long, long time ago.
“Yep!” I look at him as he leans over his desk, looking confused. “So… can we move on from that and get to work?”
He folds his arms and is silent for a good minute. I guess he can’t really drop it, huh?
“Have you really moved on from it, Lily?” His heavily loaded question hits me like a ton of bricks.
Whoa, WTF!
“Whatever do you mean?” I ask innocently. Is he actually this dense? Can’t he simply understand that I don’t want to rehash and chitchat about the damn past?
“You’ve been avoiding me. Why is that? Both of our mothers are like sisters, and yet, I haven’t seen you in almost a decade. Now, out of the blue, my mom decides to hire you as my assistant. Isn’t that a little sketchy, perhaps even fishy to you?”
“No, I don’t think so. I haven’t been avoiding you. I just couldn’t stomach seeing you again.” Oops, isn’t that the same thing? “After Mexico, I realized I made a mistake. You were a huge mistake. So, there. There is your reason.” I hold my head high as I speak those words to him.
He means nothing to me. Not anymore.
“A mistake . . . Right. You didn’t seem to mind it when I was taking your virginity. To which, I recall, you freely gave away for any man who was willing.”
JACKASS!
I grind my teeth together and gather all the energy I can muster from the universe to compose myself and not shriek with rage. “Sure, that night was okay.” I shrug. “It was meh . . . nothing earth-shattering now that I’ve had better.” Ha! Shove it, you douche, I think.
My words clearly affect him. Men and their sexual prowess . . . all you have to do is question it and they go mental.
“I see. You’ve developed quite a tongue there, Lil. You better tame your temper if you don’t want a repeat of ‘nothing earth-shattering’ sex.” I blanch at his sexual innuendo. Has he lost his marbles?
“Trust me, I’d rather train a tiger than get to tumble in the sheets with you, thank you very much.” I walk toward the door with my purse in hand and look back at the confusing, sexy man. “If you’re still hell bent about the past, stay here and ponder some more, okay? I’ll find my desk and figure it out on my own since my boss is too caught up in his own thoughts.” His facial expression is simply priceless as I open the door and slam it hard behind me . . .
I smugly congratulate myself for not making a huge deal and a bigger fool out of myself after seeing him again. True, I may have loved the man to distraction back in yesteryears, but that ship has sailed. He doesn’t get to take my virginity and simply walk away like it doesn’t matter, like I didn’t matter. His vicious rejection scarred me forever and it will forever be ingrained in my head; I would be stupid to forget it.
Once you give up your heart to the man you love, it ultimately gives them power. I’ve been stupid enough to succumb to his easy charm before. Never again, Drake Tatum, never fucking again.
I glance at Mindy’s office, but she still isn’t in there. Where is she?
There is another office next to Mindy’s and I go open it. To my relief, it’s empty except for the computer that sits on the desk. The office is small, but clean and has an airy feel to it. I suppose all the glass that surrounds it makes it less claustrophobic. The contrast between the black carpet and the white office furniture combines to make it sleek and chic. I love this office. I can easily picture myself working here. But do you really want to work for Drake? The voice in my head counters. Who knows? The man might be insufferable, yet, maybe as a boss, he won’t be so bad. Just as long as he knows the boundaries and doesn’t cross the line, then it won’t be a problem.
I stride inside and immediately start working. I turn on the computer and place my purse in my desk drawer. Since I don’t have any office supplies, I seek out the supply room. It’s easily found because the room has a ‘Supply Room’ nameplate on the oak door.
Unknowingly, I start to whistle, but stop when I hear mewling sounds and sobs coming from somewhere in the room. I pursue the sounds to find out who they are coming from. I find a stylish, dressed to impress, black woman hunched over the copying machine, crying.
I tense. I guess she didn’t hear me?
“Excuse me—are you alr
ight? I don’t mean to pry, but I heard you and I’m a little concerned,” I whisper at the sullen woman’s form. She immediately glances up when she hears me.
She sniffs again, trying to wipe the running mascara, but the hasty brush of her fingers makes it even worse. “Sorry. You must be the new girl. I’m Mindy.” She sniffs once again.
Is she okay? She looks so distraught. I want to hug her, though I hold myself back just in case she thinks I’m a weirdo or something.
“I’m Lily Alexander. Are you okay, Mindy? Is there anything I can get you? Water, perhaps?”
“I’m a mess. Give me a second or two and then I’ll be good as new,” she states, yet I’m not convinced. Even in her state, it’s obvious how pretty Mindy is, but I doubt her puffy eyes and nose will clear away that quickly.
I nod and smile at her. “Alright, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” Mindy nods and excuses herself to the restroom.
Confused from that little scene, I mentally shrug and seek out the supplies that I came here for in the first place.
I’m in the midst of putting some pens and pencils away in my office when I hear I light knock. I look up and find Mindy.
“Hey, come on in.”
She strolls in with her tight, black slacks and fitted, engine red V-neck top. Wow, what I would give to have a nice rack like hers, I think annoyingly. Hers even look real—a commodity in Los Angeles. A lot of women here are enhanced and altered. Sad to say, but it’s the damn truth.
Mindy sits on one of the white leather seats across from my desk. “You probably must’ve thought I was some loony, finding me crying in the supply closet like that, didn’t you?” She chuckles. “I don’t blame you. I didn’t want to meet you in that state.” She looks away for a second. “I need to learn how to separate my personal life and my work. I tend to mesh them together and it can be overwhelming sometimes.”
“Don’t worry about it. I get it—we’re women. I can be emotional at times, too. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
