by Pamela Ann
My parents looked at me oddly. What?
“Where did you come from? Why are you all dolled up?” my mom asked with a worried expression on her face.
Oh, that! I forgot I was dressed in my clothes from last night. “Yeah, about that, that’s what I came here to talk about.” I did wear this get-up to meet with Martin last night, so it was kind of connected.
“You look stunning, darling.” Aunt Gemma came over and gave me a quick hug and then pulled me towards the table and made me sit.
“Where’s baby Joey?” I asked as my parents joined Aunt Gemma and me at the table.
“He’s in school, dear,” Aunt Gem responded before she took a bite of her pancakes.
“Spill it now, Em. The suspense is killing us.” Mom pressed her lips together as she stared at me, waiting.
“I got offered to star in a movie by Martin Lombardo.”
“You’re going to be an actress, Emma?” Aunt Gemma asked with a big smile.
After a few silent moments, both Mom and Dad cackled like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I looked at both of them, baffled. Okay… were they laughing at me? Did they think I was joking?
When they both finished, Mom and Dad wiped their eyes. Laughing tears, great.
Dad spoke first, “And here we were thinking you were going to tell us you were pregnant or something.” My dad pulled me close and kissed my head. “You’re going to do great, kiddo. How did you manage to nab this role? You didn’t mention you were planning to be an actress.”
“Well, I wasn’t. The role was handed to me on a silver platter and I couldn’t pass it up. I really do think this is it for me. To be an actress, I mean.”
Mom squeezed me tight. “I’m so proud of you, kiddo. Now, what’s the storyline about? A Lombardo film you said? I bet it will easily get an Oscar, don’t you think so, honey?” She looked towards my father and he gave her a great, big smile. It was clear that they were still in love.
“It’s about a married woman who cheats on her husband. When the husband finds out, he beats his wife up. When her lover sees her bruised, cut-up body, he kills the husband. The lover straps the dead body on the hook of a speed boat and dumps him in the Atlantic Ocean where he’s fed to the sharks.
It was much more than that, but I gave them a quick summary. “Wow, that’s a pretty gritty storyline,” Mom said as she took a quick sip of her coffee.
“Yes, it is, but a bit on the erotic side, too.” That got their attention.
“What’s your role?” Dad inquired with a frown. I felt sorry for him before I blurted out my answer.
“I’m going to be Angela, the wife.”
My dad got up and started to pace. “You mean, you’ll be naked? In a movie, where all of our friends and family can see you? The rest of the world will see my baby naked?”
My dad was starting to turn red. Thank God my mom stepped in. “Sit your ass down, Seth. We have to discuss this as a family.” Mom composed herself and Dad went back to his seat and simmered like a little kid. “Emma, we understand that you want to become an actress. Ever since you were little, you always loved to act and would put on little plays for us with your Barbies. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a great opportunity for you, but at the same time, do you want to risk your self-preservation and morality for a film that will possibly pay you a hundred grand or so? Think long and hard about this, once this is filmed, it will be out there forever. Your kids will see it. Your children’s children will see it. Do you want to be haunted by that?”
“I do get your point, Mom. Trust me, I do, but this is what I want. For the past couple of years, I have been drifting along, not knowing what I wanted to do in life. I didn’t think acting was possible for me. I hadn’t even thought about it since I graduated high school, but now, since this has practically landed in my lap, I will not be discouraged from doing it. I want to do it. I already signed the contract last week and they’re not paying me a hundred grand, Mom. They’re paying me one million dollars.”
“God, help me! My daughter becomes a movie star and I can’t even brag about it to my friends, let alone watch it,” my dad muttered under his breath. I really felt bad for my dad.
I got up and hugged him from behind the chair. “I’m sorry, Dad, but you have to understand. I want this. I’m a big girl; I can handle it.”
My mom leaned back and slightly shook her head like she was trying to digest everything I just spouted out at them. “Well, as much as we don’t want you to do this film, we’ll support you in any way we can. Wow! Our daughter’s a millionaire and she’s not even twenty-one.”
My Aunt Gem got up and congratulated me, “You’re going to be a beautiful actress, Emma. You have a beautiful heart and a beautiful face. The world is going to love you! I just know it.”
Although I doubted that the whole world would like my acting or that they would all love me, I thanked her all the same. What mattered was that she meant it.
“When do you start filming?” Dad inquired as he started to eat.
“May; and it’s going to be filmed in Greece.”
“Good, then you still have time to prepare,” Mom murmured.
“Yeah, enough time for my kiddo to think it through and back out of the movie,” my father added and he meant it, too. Not happening, Dad.
Aunt Gem stepped in, “Oh, stop it. This is a great thing for our little, Emma. Stop ruining her mood.”
When I glanced at the time and saw that it was about to hit noon, I decided to get moving.
“I have to go. I have class later this afternoon. I’ll call you guys soon, okay? I want to see little Joey.” I grabbed my coffee and finished it in one gulp.
Mom and Dad stood up and hugged me. “We’ll see you soon. Congratulations, baby!” Mom kissed me on the cheek while Dad kissed my forehead.
“Drive carefully, will you? I think I’ve had enough shock to last me a lifetime,” Dad mumbled.
“Always, Dad.” I gave a quick goodbye to my aunt and waved at them. “Love you lots,” I yelled before leaving the kitchen and going out the front door.
Turning on the engine, my mood started to sink at the thought of seeing Carter. One down, one to go.
Untitled
“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.”
~H.G. Wells
Chapter One Hundred Thirteen
The moment I parked my car, I fished out my phone and texted Carter.
Me: Hey. I just got back in town. Can you come over?
It beeped after a minute.
Carter: Be there soon, babe.
Fuck! I didn’t even know how to break it to him. We just got back together.
I cared for Bass and the thought of the intimate moments that I shared with him, saddened me because I would never have those moments with him again. I supposed we really needed last night to get closure.
Since Carter would be here any second, I got out of my car and went inside the dorm. Lindsey wasn’t home and I was relieved. I didn’t need a witness when Carter had a meltdown and lost his shit.
In my room, I fought the urge to shower and instead, changed into my jean short-shorts and a loose, baby blue cotton shirt. I didn’t want to prolong any of this and have Carter waiting on me. This confrontation needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. I couldn’t tiptoe around the subject. I made a choice and I had to stand by it.
I looked up when I heard the door unlock.
“Em?”
“I’m in here,” I called out. I was on edge and a little jittery to boot.
Here we go…
Carter came through the door and immediately gave me a huge smile when he saw me. “I missed you!”
“I need to tell you something important,” I started as I eyed him. Carter instantly tensed and his handsome face contorted.
“What’s it about?” Carter whispered as he stared back at me, apprehensive.
Shit. “Something happened with Bass last night...” I didn’t even get the chance
to finish before Carter started pacing.
“Define ‘happened’ Emma? You had sex with him, is that it?”
“No. I stayed with him last night, nothing really happened except his hand lingering a bit longer on certain areas.” And how I really wanted to succumb to him and try to get him out of my system I thought to myself.
Carter stopped pacing and sat back down again. His hurt face tugged at something inside me. “Bass didn’t fuck you?”
Isn’t that what I just said? That’s what I got for being whorebag-ish. Nope, Bass and I didn’t have sex, but I was tempted. “No, it wasn’t like that,” I murmured, not meeting his eye.
Carter ran both of his hands through his hair. “I’m hurt that you lied about going to sleep at your parents’ house, Em. How could you do this? We just barely got back together.”
I didn’t know. I honestly didn’t know why I did the things I did with Bass. Another Emma emerged—frivolous, spontaneous, alive and uninhibited. With all my heart, I wanted so badly to say that I was sorry for doing it, but I would be lying to Carter if I apologized for something I didn’t regret doing. “Maybe it’s because we got back together too quickly? Maybe I didn’t see it coming and I’m still trying to place my feelings in order? I met Bass right after you. I got to spend time with him, Carter. Somehow, someway, he got through to me.”
Carter groaned. “So, you’re back with him? You wanted me to drop by today because you’re breaking it off? I can’t believe this!”
“I’m not with Bass. Last night was a one-time thing. I don’t think I will be hearing from him again.” Not for a while, I think. He’ll be too busy filming a movie during the day and having a beautiful stunning angel in his arms at night.
Carter lied across my bed, both hands on his face. “Carter, I didn’t mean to lead you on or anything. I meant it when I said I loved you. It’s just that, I’m as confused as ever. I didn’t mean for us to end this way. I honestly didn’t.” I did love Carter, I still did, but was it as consuming as before? No, Bass chipped a bit of that off.
Carter huffed out a lungful of air and sat up, looking me directly in the eye. “I don’t want to break up with you, Em. I hate what you did, but I don’t think I can survive without you again. I had a taste of that and I sure as hell don’t want you to go back to that man. Take as much time as you need to figure things out in your head, I’ll still want to be with you. I love you and as badly as I want to think that you’re perfect, you’re human and, by nature, you’re going to make mistakes.”
What? “You still want me after what I did?” I stared at him flabbergasted. Who the hell was this man? The old Carter would have stomped around and thrown a massive tantrum the entire campus would have witnessed. The Carter before me was someone I had yet to get to know.
“I love you, Em,” he croaked as he softly touched the side of my face. “We’ll be okay. We’re just hitting some rough patches because I totally messed up before by not taking my time with you, but now that we’ve cleared that up, we can start anew.”
Could we? Could Carter and I move past this hurdle? I supposed I wouldn’t know if I didn’t give it a try.
“Maybe you’re right. We can start fresh from here on,” I agreed.
E
A few weeks later…
Carter was throwing a Halloween party tonight at his house. We ended up being Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan from Pirates of the Caribbean.
We smiled like idiots when we checked each other out. My costume was on the sexy side, showing my belly button. Carter even had the whole dark eye-liner thing going. He took being Jack Sparrow quite seriously.
“My, can I be your captive, Captain Jack?”
Carter, I mean, Jack Sparrow gave me a chaste kiss and smiled, showing his toothy pirate smile. “Anything for my Miss Swan.”
The party was wild and crazy–nothing unusual about a Carter Mason party and Carter and I were stuck like glue the whole time. We danced, we laughed and we made out like no one’s business. It didn’t take long for me to get sucked back into Carter’s world. Every time my thoughts drifted back to Bass, I immediately shut them down and shoved them somewhere in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to jeopardize anything with Carter. I really wanted us to work out.
I was happy. Carter made me very happy.
When Thanksgiving rolled in, we spent it with my family. He was the second guy I brought home to meet my parents. Though Mom was very sweet and accommodating, my father, on the other hand, was a total pain.
“Tell me, Carter, how many women have you had sex with?” My father asked in a serious manner during dinner before he popped a carrot in his mouth and chewed it leisurely.
Of course, the entire table, including my aunt and baby nephew, got quiet. Baby Joey, though oblivious as to what the question meant, knew it was serious. Dad hadn’t acted like this when he met Lewis. I didn’t understand the third-degree with Carter.
Mom warned Dad, but it was to no avail. Dad stood his ground while he waited for Carter to respond. He eyed Carter with heavy scrutiny.
“Dad, can you at least act civilized. You’re being too invasive,” I hissed at him.
Carter turned red.
I figured that Carter might have a guesstimate, but not the exact digits.
I tensed when I heard Carter clear his throat. WTF? Was he really planning to answer that? How could he even manage to without getting his head chopped off?
“I can honestly tell you, sir, that I do not know the answer to that question, but what I can tell you, with great frankness and confidence, is that since Emma came into my life, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. If you had asked me how many women I have loved in my life, it wouldn’t have taken me long to answer. I have only ever loved one and that is your daughter.” Oh, shit. I loved him even more in that moment.
After a minute of silence, my father beamed. “It’s ironic. I gave Emma’s grandfather a similar answer when he asked me the same question. You are welcome in our home as long as you treat my only daughter well. Don’t make me regret this, Carter.”
“Thank you, sir. I promise that I won’t.”
With that, Carter was welcomed into my family and was in my father’s good graces. Carter even accepted his invitation to spend Christmas Eve with us. I felt even more confident about our relationship—it was getting stronger by the day.
When we drove back to his house, I decided that tonight, I was going to tell him about the Lombardo film. I just hoped that he would take it lightly and be happy for me.
Changed and ready for bed, Carter gathered me in his arms and started kissing me.
“Carter?” I asked, breaking off our kiss.
I looked at him while he waited for me to speak. “I have to tell you something important… something that I’m really excited about. I want you to have an open mind and let me finish talking before you say anything, okay?”
I waited for him to nod before I continued, “I got chosen to be the lead actress of a movie alongside Bass. It won’t start filming until May, in Greece. I’m not sure if I’ve ever told you, but I used to be in drama in high school and I loved it. I still love it. This unbelievable opportunity could start my career if everything turns out well.”
Carter let go of me and stared at the ceiling, his usual demeanor when he was deep in thought. After a few seconds of him not muttering anything, I touched his arm.
“Carter, say something?”
“I’m happy for you, Em. I really am, but concerning you working with Bass? Not so much. He wants you. I don’t know if he’ll stop the next time. Right now, I’m thinking that he’s probably waiting for the right opportunity to draw you in. I know men like him quite well because I was one.”
No, Bass and I were through. I hadn’t even heard from him. From what I could gather from the media, he was busy living his life, partying and playing hard on a field of vaginas.
“That phase with Bass is done, Carter. You have nothing to worry about. I’m with you
now and we’re doing so great, you’re being so great and you make me very happy. I can’t help but love you a little more each day.”
He turned on his side and cupped my cheek. His eyes spoke volumes and it didn’t take a second for me to succumb to his will. His love rolled over me with his kisses, his touch and his mastery.
Carter showed me his universe that night as he slowly made love to me.
Untitled
“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.”
~Javan
Chapter One Hundred Fourteen
I got to spend Christmas day with Lindsey and Carter at their aunt and uncle’s house in Montecito. It would be my first time meeting them and I had all these bad scenarios playing in my head. I thought Carter didn’t speak about them much because, you know, they were awful or something.
I was wrong. They were a lovely couple and it was obvious how much they loved Lindsey and Carter, so I didn’t get why Carter was being so indifferent about his Aunt Alice and Uncle Gary’s affection.
After lunch, Carter immediately excused us when Alice suggested going out to see a movie. I wanted to go, but Carter didn’t even give me the option. So, when Lindsey, Alice and Gary left for the movie theatre, I was determined to get answers.
He dragged me up to his bedroom. His home was enormous. Duh, Em? It’s Montecito? He’s probably neighbors with Oprah.
“Why did your aunt and uncle buy such a large house when there’s only the four of you?” I wondered out loud.
“They already bought the house before we moved in. They hoped to have their own children, but after a few years of trying, they gave up. They loved this house too much to let it go. They were happy to raise Lindsey and I after our parents died. I guess in the end, they got what they wanted.”
That was a little twisted to even consider. Gary seemed like a well-rounded guy and losing his brother in such a tragedy was a lot to take in. “That’s a little weird to say, Carter. You make it sound like they’re happy that your parents are dead—that they got an instant family through their deaths.”
