“Should we ask any of the seniors?”
“I was thinking no, because what do they care if we get new uniforms for next year? They’ll be gone. The juniors will work harder, don’t you think?”
I agreed. It was also the juniors who would get to vote for team captain. Smart girl.
By the end of practice we had a committee, and I realized that Tess’s project was going to take a huge chunk of time. I was put in charge of trying to find a building where we could collect the toys and do the pictures, for free, during the first part of November.
I decided to enlist Darby’s help for two reasons. One: Mom’s rules included finding ways to keep her involved with the family (as long as it wasn’t stressful). And two: she had a car—a major advantage.
After I told Dad he was relieved of his Darby-sitting duties that night, I found Darby on the back porch with her laptop, asleep.
“Darby?”
She stirred, opened one eye, then sat up slowly. “I fell asleep.” She looked up at me. “How long did I sleep?”
“No idea. I just got back.”
“I hate these meds. Hate them. I was actually getting that stupid essay done and then I fall asleep.”
She didn’t seem to be in a very good mood, so favor asking was risky.
She opened her laptop and then growled, “Well, at least it’s saved. Mom’s got some teacher meeting thing tonight.”
“Well, I was going to see if you wanted to help me with something.”
She looked up. “Like what?”
I filled her in on the fund-raiser and my need to be driven around town to beg for space.
“Sure.” Darby gathered up her laptop and papers. “Let’s go.”
After we grabbed dinner at the Sub Shop, we drove around town looking for buildings that were vacant and for lease. A lot of them were too small; but we gathered names, addresses, and phone numbers for the ones that seemed large enough. In the end there were only about five possibilities.
“Why don’t you let me call around?” Darby asked when we got home.
“Oh, I can do it; it’s fine. This was a huge help.”
“Well, lots of these are businesses, and they’re going to be closed by the time you get back from practice. I don’t mind.”
I hesitated, weighing whether the task was too much pressure or the right kind of involvement. I wasn’t sure, but I needed the help, so I handed her the list. “If you’re willing, I’m game.” I also gave her the info that Tess had typed up about the project.
“I think this is great. When I was in school, all the cheerleaders did was try to look sexier.”
“Not Tess.”
“I’ll call around and see what I can find out. You don’t mind me stepping in?”
“No way. I’m thrilled. Ecstatic. Thanks, Darby.”
She smiled sadly. Her dark moods were pretty standard fare, but I still wondered what was on her mind. Darby had been through so much that it could be any one of a dozen things nagging at her. I felt a little guilty, but Darby wouldn’t have offered to help if she wasn’t willing. That’s what I’d tell Mom when she asked.
I called Tess to let her know that Darby was going to work on securing the building.
“I’m picking you up then.”
“Why?”
“’Cause if Darby’s doing your job, then you can help with mine.”
I didn’t argue. Mom was on her way home by that point, so I wouldn’t get in trouble for leaving Darby. I changed and waited by the front door. Tess pulled up in her Jeep.
“Did you ask your dad yet?”
“Not yet. He left as soon as I got home.”
She wanted me to borrow one of my dad’s digital cameras for the pictures to save money. He had all the equipment—the cameras, the computers, the printers—but talking Dad into letting a bunch of cheerleaders use them was not something I was eager to do. I knew how to use the equipment, but I was no expert. My personal plan was to convince Dad to come and help us that day instead of me being responsible for thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment. I wasn’t comfortable with that kind of responsibility.
“But he’ll say yes, right?”
“Probably.”
That satisfied her.
Tess drove to Hope House, the local domestic violence shelter. She parked, and I followed her inside the building, which was basically a large, two-story house. A heavy-set woman with short red hair came out of a small office next to the entrance.
“Tessie! I haven’t seen you in ages.” The woman squashed Tess into a hug. “What brings you by?”
“I have an idea that might help us both,” Tess said. “This is my friend Mallory. Mallory, this is Tammy.”
“Come on into my closet here and we can talk. Your friend can come, too.”
I looked at the tiny office, barely big enough for its owner much less two teenagers. “I’ll wait out here.”
Tess settled into a chair to give Tammy the pitch while I leaned on a wall in the hallway. I looked around at the simple home. A stairwell led upstairs, and the hallway I was standing in led back to a kitchen that was full of different voices. A small sitting room was across from me. It was shabby but clean, with couches and some bookshelves and tables.
Tess had stayed here for more than a year when we were in fifth grade. I remembered it well.
Looking around, it wasn’t hard to imagine Tess living there. I actually wished there were a place for her to go now. A safe place for kids to go when their moms were too drunk to take care of them. I wondered if Tammy could help Tess, if Tess was willing to ask.
Tess came out of the office, followed by Tammy, who was wiping her eyes.
“Thank you, Tess. You know how much it will mean to the kids here.”
“Well, we’re hoping to get enough toys to give some for Christmas, too, but we’ll have to see.”
Tammy grabbed Tess into another hug. “You’re an angel. Truly. Is your family doing okay? Your mom?”
Tess waved her hand. “Everything’s great. You don’t mind if we take a look at what kind of stuff you already have?”
“Nope, go on down. They closed up already.”
Tess gestured for me to follow her to a set of stairs that led down to the day care center in the basement. It was a little dark, but some light came in from the sliding door in the back. Outside, I could see playground equipment. Tess flipped on the lights and started walking around the room with a notepad, writing down things.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
“Can you start on that side? Just write down what they have and what’s missing pieces and all that. I think it’ll help when we go through the stuff we get.”
She tore off paper for me, and we worked our way around the room. There were toys, but not many. And most of them were missing parts: wood puzzles that had only half their pieces, plastic dollhouses with only a few pieces of furniture. It was sad.
It didn’t take us very long, and after a quick look at the playground, we were back in her Jeep.
“Hey, Tess.”
“Hmmm?”
“How come you didn’t tell Tammy? About your mom. I mean, maybe she could help.”
“She can’t,” Tess said. “And if I tell her, she’ll have to call social services, and that’ll land us both in foster care. And I’m not going into foster care, or letting them take Ashley. They’d have to kill me first.”
Tess parked the car in my driveway and leaned back in her seat.
“I only have to make it eighteen more months, and I can become Ashley’s legal guardian.”
“But what about college and all of that?”
“It’ll just take me longer. Believe me, it’s better this way. I can deal with my mom. I have been, anyway. Tell Darby thanks for me.”
“No problem.” I left the car and watched her pull out and drive off waving. I trudged back into the house, feeling helpless.
Mom was at the sink washing dishes. I looked at her for signs that
she might be angry with me for being so busy this week, but she seemed fairly content.
“There you are. Did you eat?”
“Yeah.”
She dried her hands on a towel. “What’s wrong?”
I looked at her, all normal and motherly, and felt this rush of gratitude. I gave her a hug. There were things I wish I could change in my life, but I knew I had it better than a lot of people, especially Tess.
She laughed and hugged me back. “What’s that for?”
I kissed her on the cheek. “I’m just glad you’re so wonderfully normal.”
“Thanks. I think.”
I leaned on the counter. “Darby’s helping me with a cheerleading project.”
“Really? You’re sure it’s not too much for her? She’s taking those classes….” Mom’s face took on that look it always does when Darby’s name comes up. Kind of anxious and faraway.
“I don’t think so. She acted like she wanted to.” I picked up another towel to help her dry the dishes.
I watched my mom closely as she plunged her hands back into the sink and started to scrub at a glass dish. “We just don’t want to overtax her. And really, I think we all need to be more careful. We have to stick to the schedule. We can’t be lax. You know?”
I nodded but didn’t speak. It did no good to try and reassure Mom, because we all knew that no matter how things looked, none of us could really know what was under the surface.
I decided the best course was to change the subject. “Love the hair, by the way.”
“Ha. Ha.” She touched the pencil she had used to create a messy bun on top of her head. “Occupational hazard.” She gave me a small smile, then added, “I was in your room today.”
“Yeah.”
“What happened to all the pictures?”
“Todd and I broke up. For good. Finis.”
“Want to elaborate?”
“Nothing interesting to tell. Is Dad home yet?”
“No. That’s it?”
“I never got to see him. It just got to be kind of pointless, you know?”
“You and your invisible guy. Well, maybe now you’ll date someone your dad and I can actually meet.”
“Yeah, maybe. I’m going to finish my homework.” I went upstairs to my room, which still looked odd without the pictures. Mom and Dad had long called Todd the “invisible guy” because somehow, every time they were about to meet him, something would happen and he wouldn’t be able to come. Funny how that always happened.
At school, I’d told people that Todd lived next door to my grandparents and that we were super serious. My family thought Todd was a kid from school who had moved away soon after we got together, and that it wasn’t very serious. I usually got a headache just thinking about it all. But now I was free. Totally free.
I dropped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling, thoughts of Liam interspersed with thoughts of what Tess was facing at home. Tess had sworn me to secrecy years ago, and I had never really considered breaking the promise until recently. Not only because things were obviously getting worse, but because Tess was growing more and more determined to handle it all on her own. Being a mother to Ashley, taking care of their house, making sure that no one found out that her mom was always either drunk or passed out, and still trying to be a great cheerleader, friend, and—until she dumped Alex—girlfriend.
Tess was amazing, but she was showing signs of stress. For one, she was losing weight. Tess had always been slender and strong—cheerleading did that to a girl—but lately her face seemed thinner, and her uniform was just a bit too big. Not enough for anyone but me to notice probably.
But what scared me was the custody thing with Ashley. Tess had never talked about that. She was making long-range plans as if her mother was never going to improve. As if she had decided that this is what life was going to be, and she was going to have to make the best of it.
On top of that was the fact that her best friend was a huge liar—it made it all that much more depressing. Of course, things were going to be different for me now.
I just wished that things could be different for her, too.
CHAPTER 5
It was B Day and Friday, and I was completely conflicted. I wanted to avoid Liam, embarrassed by whatever information he had heard about me. But I didn’t want to just walk away either. Did I have the nerve to ask him out? A simple, casual date? Supposedly people did that sort of thing all the time. And I couldn’t shake Tess’s admonition that if Liam decided to date someone like Lexi, they may never break up. Plus, I was thinking about him nonstop. What was so special about him, anyway? He was just another guy, but totally not at the same time.
It made no sense.
If I asked him out, at least I’d know one way or the other. That would be better than nothing. Hopefully.
Tess picked me up, and I confessed my plan. I knew if I told her, she’d pester me until I did it.
Tess was all for it.
“What can I do?” she asked.
“Nothing. Just make sure I do it.”
I wanted to tell her how scared I was, but that would also mean admitting how inexperienced I really was. She didn’t need any more drama in her life. Nope, I’d just have to be confident… somehow.
Tess had the fund-raiser on her mind. Darby had left messages but was still trying to talk to the right people about getting the space. We couldn’t set an exact date until we got the location nailed down, so we were waiting on Darby for several things. Olivia had agreed to handle the money for us. Katie and even Yvie and Sophie had all agreed to help.
“I was thinking we should dress up as elves,” Tess said on the way into school.
“Elves? You mean like pointy hat and shoes elves? C’mon, Tess.”
“It would look really cute. Besides, the Santa guy we’re using said he has some extra elf costumes if we’re interested. Gratis.”
“We’d look ridiculous.”
“It won’t matter, because you’ll already be dating Liam. After a few dates, you can afford to look ridiculous for one afternoon. Maybe we can get him into a costume, too.”
“Tess! I haven’t even asked him out yet.”
She waved me off. “Minor detail.” She leaned in close and whispered, “He’d be crazy to say no.”
A rush of warmth went through me. Tess always knew exactly what I needed.
After homeroom we hurried off to get to trig early. But when I got there, I saw Lexi leaning on the wall just outside the classroom. She caught my eye and shifted her body away from me, but I went up to her, anyway.
“Hey, Lexi. I’m glad you’re here. I… wanted to apologize. For PE the other day.”
Lexi looked surprised. “Thanks.” She also looked uncomfortable and kept scanning the hallway. “I’m sorry, too.”
She had to be waiting for Liam. So did I wait out here to catch him first or just go in and wait in there?
I spotted him about the same time Lexi did. Her face perked up, and she turned toward him. I shifted a little, too, so that we stood there side by side. Liam approached slowly, looking back and forth between us and obviously becoming more uncomfortable with each step he took.
I would not stoop to looking desperate. And I couldn’t afford to be worried about what Liam may or may not have heard about me. I didn’t know much about guys; but I knew that if I didn’t talk to him, show him that I was interested, he’d probably pick someone else. A girl like Lexi. Who was standing there wearing an expression that I wanted to avoid at all costs. Could she be any more obvious?
“Hey, Liam,” I chirped. I tried not to, but that’s how it came out.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Liam said to me.
Lexi’s mouth dropped open but only for a second.
“Hi, Lexi,” Liam said to her before turning back to me.
The warning bell rang, and the commotion in the hallway amped up a notch as everyone scrambled to get to their classes.
Lexi mumbled something about her class and
ducked away.
Score one for me.
Liam stepped closer, and I was taken aback by how good he smelled. Shampoo? Cologne? I had no idea, but I had a hard time not closing my eyes and just breathing him in. Although keeping my eyes open wasn’t bad at all. Tanned skin, strong jaw, hair that fell into his face just enough to be cute without being sloppy. He was close enough for me to see a small scar above his left eyebrow.
He fumbled with his earbuds and tucked them into his pocket. “I’m really sorry. I feel horrible about the other night. I should know better than to believe a bunch of rumors.”
The hallway emptied, and we stepped inside the classroom.
“That’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I’d like to make it up to you….”
“Take your seats!” Mr. Petrini called out, and started passing around our quizzes.
Liam gave me a smile. “Can we talk after?”
I nodded, and we sat down. I knew Tess would be expecting an update, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from Liam.
He took his paper, then leaned over to get something out of his backpack. As he searched his bag, he frowned with this adorable look of concentration. I think I actually swooned a little. His bag was stuffed full of what looked like sheet music, and a pair of drumsticks poked out of a front pocket. Hanging from the zipper was a backstage pass of some sort. I couldn’t see a band name. He shoved his iPod into another pocket, and I wondered what kind of music was on it.
He wants to talk. That’s good. But I was still nowhere close to asking him out. Talking to him was taking every bit of courage I had.
Trig was usually excruciating, but even after the quiz was turned in, Mr. Petrini seemed to take particular joy in dragging out the ninety-minute block to its extreme.
When the bell rang, I jumped from my chair and walked toward Liam without a plan in my head.
He turned and gave me a smile. “You have lunch next, right?”
“Yep.” Could I be any less articulate?
Me & My Invisible Guy Page 4
