“The story says that the garden died when the May Queen died. She could not love the man who had chosen her as his queen, and she could not have the man she truly loved.” The reality of the queen’s heartbreak—legend or not—Cara now understood intimately. How she must have suffered. “The man she had given both her body and heart to did not possess the same commitment beyond his desire for her.” Cara’s chest grew tight, a sense of hopelessness building with the sorrow in her heart. Her eyes were drawn to the craggy stones below, imagining the queen’s lover finding her broken body.
Cara jolted when Edmund’s hands cupped her shoulders.
“Is that what you think? That I cared for you only in the carnal sense?” he asked quietly.
She shrugged, her shoulders burdened already, without his pity as well.
“I did love you,” he stated.
His confession, meant to appease, instead stabbed at her heart. “Did?” she repeated, jerking away from him. “’Tis a great comfort to me to know that now,” she said, her voice filled with anger.
“Cara.”
He started toward her and she stopped him with an upturned hand. Was there any reason now to tell him about his daughter? With the eyes of her heart at last opened, she would no longer pine away with silly romantic notions. “I would like to know, Edmund, in these past years, was there never a time you thought about us, how it was between us? And yesterday…I thought—” She shook her head. “Tell me that what happened yesterday meant nothing.”
He looked away, a painful scowl marring his handsome face.
“Say it,” she demanded, tired of being the only one who believed in what she felt even now, as much as three years ago.
A cold rush of wind swirled through the open window, picking up bits of straw and debris in its wake. The strong scent of roses grew intoxicatingly thick. Her desire for him blurred reality. She slipped her gown from her shoulders and stood in naked challenged before him. If lust was all they had between them, then she needed to know.
His head snapped up and his eyes roamed over her body, heating her blood.
“Is that why you came back? To satisfy your need once more, before I am wed? Why not admit it to me and to yourself? You dinna care for me, you’ve made it clear. What else is left?”
His lips pressed together in an angry line. “That is not fair, Cara. It is not your body I came for.”
She laughed. “Then perhaps it is your noble intent to save the poor pagan girl you tarnished all those years ago? Who, in a weak moment, tempted you beyond your control?”
He was upon her in two strides, grabbing her arms. “Stop it,” he growled. His eyes flashed with frustration, but something more.
“But I ask why anything should have changed? You never intended to come back for me, did you?” She thought all her tears had dried, but having him close, seeing the confusion in his eyes, renewed the pain.
“I did intend to return that night,” he muttered through clenched teeth. “I wanted to. They threatened to harm you and your family, as well as mine. I did not leave quietly. My father would have chosen to keep the entire incident quiet, but Gregory admitted to his parents everything about us sneaking into the festival.”
Cara searched his face, unsure if she could risk that he might be telling her the truth. “Would that not reveal Gregory’s true character?” she asked.
“I was young, Cara. The statutes back then would have found us all in treason to the king. What I did was for the good of all. I wish you could believe me.” His eyes filled with frustration, pleaded with her to understand.
Edmund’s hands trembled as they touched her face, and his stormy eyes held hers. “I prayed that one day you could forgive me. But yesterday, when you sent for me, it was as though time had stood still.”
He drew her into his arms, hugging her so close Cara could barely breathe. His lips touched her bare shoulder. She felt his warm breath skitter across her flesh.
“God forgive me, I have always loved you, Cara.”
She turned her head, meeting his hungry eyes. “Love me now, Edmund.”
His manner, patient this time, aroused her in new ways. Thorough in his quest, he nuzzled the curve of her shoulder, brushing his mouth along her flesh, unhurried in his journey to her mouth. Needing to touch him, she drew his rain-soaked shirt over his head, revealing the hard, bronzed body of a man who worked in the sun. She ran her fingertips over his flesh, delighting that he welcomed her exploration. He threaded his hands through her hair, capturing her head as she leaned forward, leaving kisses on his chest, his throat, his chin.
“It is useless, Cara. I can no longer deny my love for you.”
His mouth came down on hers, seeking, probing. She grew wet, restless, feeling his hard length beneath his breeches pressed against her stomach. “My Edmund,” she whispered breathlessly, succumbing to another of his fiery kisses.
He knelt with her on the blanketed straw, nudging apart her thighs. His kisses snatched away every thought, creating a desperate ache inside her. Another breeze wafted through the room, bringing with it the promise of spring, of new life. Cara held him to her breast, closing her eyes as she savored his gentle touch.
He trailed hot kisses across the curve of her stomach, his mouth brushing over the sensitive spot between her thighs. Her fingers kneaded his hair, the teasing of his tongue drawing her up, sending fire through her veins. He rocked back long enough to free himself, then covered her body with his, pushing his swollen cock deep into her ready warmth.
“Don’t leave me,” Cara sighed, drawing her knees upward, relishing the ease of their lovemaking. He withdrew, then pressed deeper, filling her.
“I am here, Cara. I am here.”
She could not get close enough. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling his muscles bunching, flexing beneath her palms with each thrust. A sound escaped her lips as her body exploded in a burst of light and her soul was reunited with his, drawn together in a powerful release. Her fingers gripped his shoulders, helplessly drawn upward with his insistent frantic drive. Her body broke free once more and her soft cry joined his as he followed her. Cara held him close, welcoming the weight of him joined to her, wishing they could remain always as they were now.
Reality reminded her that was not possible.
He stood, drawing up his breeches, and took her hand, pulling her into his embrace, kissing her slow and tenderly. Then he sighed and stepped away. Cara hugged her arms around herself, chilled at his absence. He found her gown and held it out to her. “Though I question the wisdom of putting this on, for I am bound only to remove it shortly, I do not want you to catch a cold.”
“Edmund.” With his assistance, Cara tugged the gown over her head. “I must speak with you about a matter of great importance.”
“Indeed, my love. You must get something to eat and then we must find a way out of this predicament.” The corner of his mouth lifted in a grin. He rubbed his knuckle softly down her cheek. “You can tell me anything, Cara.”
There was no easy way to convey her news, but if they were to start a new life together, he needed to know the truth. “We have a child, Edmund.”
10
EDMUND STARED AT HER, LETTING THE WORDS register in his mind. “What did you say?” He was certain his ears were playing tricks on him.
“A child, Edmund. It was the night of the festival that she was conceived.”
His arms went limp at his sides; he’d lost the ability to speak. Three years. A child of his would be three years old. He found his tongue and pushed through his confused thoughts. “What do you mean ‘she’? I have a…a daughter?” An image of a blond-haired child flashed in his mind. “Why did you not write and let me know?”
“And who would I have trusted with such news, do you think? Your family? Your best friend, Gregory, perhaps? She’d have been taken from me, Edmund, and I would not have it. Besides, until this day I didn’t suspect that you cared enough to want to know.”
Edmund reste
d his head on his hand, his thoughts spinning. And yet they kept returning to one illuminating fact—he was a father. “Does your family know I am the father?”
She looked at her feet. “Nay, I told my mother you were to become a priest.”
He felt a little nauseous. “I need to sit down.” He realized that Cara was waiting, silently watching how he was taking the news. He reached up, drawing her down beside him. “Tell me everything, Cara. I want to know everything that I’ve missed.”
“At first I denied the possibility for as long as I could, but when my body had changed to the point where I could no longer conceal it, I had to tell my family.” She smiled as though lost in her thoughts. “I used to sit in my room and talk to her, tell her about her da. What a kind and generous, handsome man he was.”
Edmund squeezed her hand. “Go on. How did your father take it?”
“As you might imagine. I inherited my coloring and my temper from him. I expected the disappointment. My da and I, the pair of us, can be stubborn, buttin’ heads like two goats, but inside, we see things much the same. It was not a surprise when he suggested that I go to live with my married sister until the child came.”
“The two of you live with Kiernan, then?”
Her gentle eyes welled. “Nay, the child thinks I am her relation and that Kiernan is her mother. It’s what my father thought was best. He said no man would want a woman already with child unless she was a widow.”
The things she’d suffered at his expense. Edmund closed his eyes, regretting the time he’d not been there when she needed him. “God in heaven,” he whispered. He touched her chin, lifting her face to meet his eyes. “She doesn’t know?”
Cara’s smile trembled. “I named her Moyran. She acquired my fiery tresses, I’m afraid, but she has her father’s beautiful eyes.”
“Moyran.” Edmund said the name aloud. He looked at Cara with new eyes, seeing a greater resilience in her than he remembered. He pulled her into his embrace. “I should have been there.”
She caressed his cheek. “You are here now and that is all that matters.”
She hugged him tight, pressing her face against his heart. Outside, the rain had stopped, and thin ribbons of dusky pink sliced across the gray skies. He’d told Gregory when he left that he was going to speak to her family, to see if they had heard from Cara. Despite how he felt, or these new circumstances that further gave cause to his fight, Edmund could not let Gregory marry Cara now. But he had no plan, no help from anyone. He closed his eyes and laid his cheek on her head, his heart crying out to the God of heaven to show him what to do.
“Edmund, there is more I must tell you, and it does my heart no good to be the bearer of such news.”
“What is it, Cara?”
“It is about Gregory. I heard firsthand yesterday a conversation between him and his father.”
Edmund pulled back, looking at her with a frown. “What need would you have to spy on them, Cara? Have you reason to be concerned for your safety?”
“That was not my intent. I was on my way to tell Gregory to his face that I canna marry him. ’Twas their conversation that stopped me, and I hid in the shadows, my heart fearful at what I heard.”
She had his undivided attention.
“They were discussing using the marriage to take my father’s land, without causing undue alarm to the rest of the tribes. Once settled, they planned to burn the villages and continue to little by little destroy what is left of our tribes in this area. I believe the way he spoke of it was to ‘rid the crown of those Gaelic pains in the asses.’”
Gregory’s behavior, his good-natured brother-to-brother act now made perfect sense. Edmund had been invited to the wedding to make it look normal, to show that Normans, like his father, we’re in agreement with the union. But Edmund knew there was a personal jab involved, as well. Gregory had always been competitive, in the ways normal boys are, or so Edmund once thought. As Lord DeVerden used Edmund’s father, often wielding that puritanical English birth over his Old English one, Gregory was now doing the same. If Edmund suspected correctly, Gregory didn’t truly love Cara any more than he would any other daughter of one of the descendents of a Gaelic earl. She was a means to an end and that was all.
Edmund held her by the shoulders. The idea forming in his mind was likely the last act of a desperate man, and its outcome could be the death of them all. “I need you to go to your family. I would do so myself, but I fear that your father would not wait for an explanation, but tie me to a tree before I could open my mouth.” He kissed her forehead. “Will he listen to you?”
Cara nodded. “I am his blood, his youngest daughter. Mother to the grandchild that has managed to charm him, even as I suspect I once did. He will listen.”
“Then you must go to him, explain what you know. Tell him what you heard between Gregory and his father. I am going to find my father and explain my plan. With any luck he will lend me his help. Meet me at the bridge after the sun sets over the hill—you and as many kinsmen as your father can gather.”
Worry lined her face. “What is going on in that head of yours, Edmund Collier?”
He realized then that he was asking her to trust him, to believe that he would not desert her again. “You’ll not be rid of me this time. By Beltane, you will be my bride. I swear on my oath.”
She nodded and pulled him close. “Aye, see that you don’t falter on this, Edmund. Remember how many kin of mine will be waiting on the bridge to meet you.”
Edmund’s father kept his eyes focused on his clasped hands. He was still processing all that his son had just explained. “I am going to marry her this time, Father, and I intend to expose Gregory’s plan.”
“It is far too dangerous, Edmund.” His mother cast a worried glance at her husband. “Tell him that he must give up this ridiculous notion. It is not worth our lives. If the king heard of it, it will be considered treason. That is what they told us before.”
“Hush, woman. Let me think.” His father stood and paced the room, as he often did when he was considering his options. “For too long the DeVerdens have held their blue-blooded aristocracy over those of us who have been here longer, keeping an eye on England’s port investments. They’ve used the threat of treason to achieve their every purpose in parliament, and I for one am sick to death of it.”
“William, listen to yourself.”
“I am listening for once to my gut. Before the statutes, there was no dissention between the Old English and the Gaels. It was when the crown sent in their deputies, and appointed them landlords over us all, that the trouble began. Well, I say it’s time they understood that they are not the only English voice in this county.”
Edmund listened with pride to his father’s words. “We hope to settle this amicably, Father, by asking DeVerden to forfeit his position in lieu of being tried by the entire tribe of Ormond, of the threats against their people.”
His father looked at him. “It is true they acted on their own behalf, and not on that of parliament. That could place the entire county in danger of repercussion from the Gaelic tribes. You have the word of this Gaelic woman and one of the castle’s maidservants?”
“She speaks the truth. I believe her,” Edmund responded. “I have pledged my troth to her.”
“They are but women, Edmund. Their word will not hold up in a jury of men.”
“I have no intent of making either face any jury, Father.” Edmund rose from the table and shrugged into his coat. “Gregory will hang himself by his admission. I only have to have more than one witness to that confession.”
“And how will you do that?” his father asked.
“I know Gregory’s weakness, Father—his pride. He would stop at nothing to prove how cunning he is. I thought we were once friends, but his friendship was only for what best served him. I know that now. He once held that power over my family, forcing me to make a decision that I did not wish to make. He thinks he has placed me again in a position where I have no choice bu
t to watch him marry the woman I love. And then he’ll destroy her people. But I am not going to walk away and let him get by with this a second time, and if you would choose to help me, to be my witness, then be at the castle study in thirty minutes’ time. You shall have your proof, and straight from Gregory’s lips.”
Cara ran to Kiernan’s house first, and along with Connor, the three gathered the children together and made the journey by cart to their parents’ house. Her mother saw to the older children right away, tucking them into bed. Kiernan rocked her youngest in the same chair where their mother had rocked them. Cara’s thoughts drifted to how she might look, rocking a child of her own one day.
“Now, give me one good reason, daughter, that I should believe a word that this Englishman has said to you?” Her father’s voice, though he tried to control it, boomed within the walls of the small house, bringing Cara out of her reverie.
“Galen, shhh!” her mother cautioned, holding a finger to her lips.
Cara sat at the table across from her da, trying to ignore the sun lowering on the horizon. “Because I love him.”
“And isn’t that what put you in the mess you are in?”
“Galen,” her mother scolded. “Watch your tongue.”
“Aye, what’s to say that he isn’t using this to set a trap? Like sheep being led to the slaughter.” He pinned Cara with a wary look.
Cara had not the mind-set of a Gaelic warrior; she did not devise plans on the field of battle, nor understand the politics between tribes or nations. She knew only two things. “He is the father of my child and wants to marry me. He has a plan to help us, Da. His only desire is to live peaceably as we once did, to make it safe for me—” she looked at Moyran, fast asleep on the cot “—and safe for his daughter.” She motioned to everyone standing around the table. “Safe for all of us—my family and his.”
Her da rubbed his thick red beard and scowled at his daughter. She knew when it came to those he loved, he never made hasty choices. She was the same. Cara knew he was going to agree.
The Pleasure Garden: Sacred VowsPerfumed PleasuresRites of Passions Page 9
