I went to sleep every night afraid. Of the darkness. Of slipping into another episode. Of not. I watched the ceiling, waiting for the shadow, for that feeling that someone was watching me. That maybe they always had been. But when it didn’t come all I could do was think about what I’d overheard outside of Dr. Sabine’s office.
Again. I’d let that one word swell inside me, filling every empty space until I was raw. Until I was afraid. Because that was the sound I’d heard in their voices through the door to Dr. Sabine’s office. It wasn’t curiosity or even caution. It was fear I’d heard and it was fear I’d felt as I rushed down the hall to meet Felix and Dani in the courtyard the next day at school.
I stepped outside and Trisha Berry noticed me lingering a little too close to her table and tossed her bag in the only empty chair. Two years later and she still hated me for passing out on stage during the spring play freshman year. It was right in the middle of her solo.
People were congregating near the gym doors, everyone pushing to get a better look at something up in the trees. I spotted Felix’s green baseball cap and then Dani standing next to him, pointing at something.
I made my way toward them, people heading back to their tables.
“What is it?” I asked when I reached Dani.
She pointed. “Jerks. Some kind of prank.”
I looked up and I saw the kites, the entire senior class’ final English project strewn among the branches.
“What?”
I scanned the leaves for ours, big red pomegranate flush to the leaves, and then one fluttered down, landing at my feet with a crack.
“Idiots. Mrs. Ward better give us all As. Bryn?” Dani grabbed my arm. “You okay?”
I shook off the blank stare and nodded even though I wasn’t sure. I’d seen the kites just like this with Roman and I’d thought they’d gotten stuck when the landscape changed or that my memory had gotten twisted somehow. But it wasn’t a memory. It was…
“Hello? Bryn?”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t freak. I know you stayed up all weekend finishing your half but—”
“It’s not…I’m...”
I let Dani lead me to an empty table and I tried not to glance over my shoulder, to see if they were still there or if I was still dreaming.
“You feeling okay?” Felix asked. “You don’t look so good.”
“I…something happened.”
“What do you mean?” Dani asked. “Is this about…?” She gave me a look. “You know.”
“I went to the doctor.”
“Did you finally decide to tell her?”
I nodded.
“Well?” Felix pressed.
“She told me it was just another coping mechanism.”
“How does that even make sense?” Felix said.
“Apparently I made him up because I’m lonely.”
“She said that?” Dani snapped.
“That’s not all they said. After my appointment I went back to her office to get my mom’s bag that she’d left. I was about to knock when I heard…”
“What?”
“Two new doctors from Germany. They said that I was running out of time and then they said something about it not happening again.”
Dani raised an eyebrow. “It…?”
“It was hard to make out every word but they said they’d have to keep a close eye on me.” I gripped the braided tabletop. “What if they meant…?”
“No.” Dani looked down. “Don’t go there. Not yet.”
“Yeah,” Felix said. “They could have been talking about anything.”
“They were talking about me,” I said. “Me. There’s something wrong with me.”
“So they gave you some fake explanation,” Felix said. “It doesn’t mean the real one is as bad as you think it is. Maybe they don’t even have a real explanation yet.”
“Then why all the secrecy?” I said.
“Sounds like they’re still putting the pieces together. They probably don’t want you to worry.”
“But I am worried. I’m kind of freaking the fuck out. I’m seeing things and hearing things. And there’s something…something out there…”
“Whoa, Bryn. Calm down.” Dani reached for me and then she gave Felix a small nod.
“Bryn, I found something.” Felix pulled out his cell phone, thumbs racing over the keypad. He laid it on the table and pushed it over to me. “Mismatched Machine. Finally found them last night.”
“You what?” I reached for it, scrolling through their webpage. I clicked on one of their song titles and it started to play.
“I’ve never heard of them,” Dani said.
“You wouldn’t listening to that top forty bullshit,” Felix shot back.
“Yeah, me and the rest of the world.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t get me started on corporate conspiracies and the communist mind fuck that is public radio.”
“Okay. Guys. Focus.” I stared at the screen, some Julian Casablancas look-alike screaming into a microphone. “Are they local?”
Felix shook his head. “They’re from Seattle, I think.”
“How obscure are they exactly?”
“Strictly digital, if that’s what you mean,” Felix said.
“Great.”
“Don’t you have an iPod?”
I did but in the land of lost memories an iPod was like a needle in a haystack. Maybe it was somewhere on my grandfather’s bookshelf. Maybe it was tucked under the pillow on my mom’s childhood bed. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen it there and if I wanted to show the band to Roman I had to have something tangible.
“So what now?” Dani asked. “I mean, we know his first name and we know his favorite band. What do we do with that?”
“It’s just pieces,” I said.
“Just pieces,” Felix repeated. “But it’s more pieces than your doctors might have. I say we put this shit together before they do and find out what exactly it is they’re hiding.”
“And how do we do that?” Dani asked.
Felix chewed on his lip, mouth slipping into a smile. “I might be able to come up with something.”
The Girl In Between (The Girl In Between Series Book 1) Page 29
