by RS McCoy
Raene’s complexion had become a sickly grey-green, likely due to blood loss. She lay so perfectly still, he couldn’t tell if she was breathing. He pressed two fingers to her wrist, failing to detect even a hint of a pulse, and her neck was too shredded to even bother. There were no arteries left intact.
Her injuries were grave, but also crusted over with blood—they were hours old. She might have had a chance had she been treated right away, but so long after the fact, there was nothing Hale could do.
The horror of it struck him like lightning, burning its way through him. Whatever had happened out there, she was gone. She lost her.
“Oh, Hale.” He didn’t realize Gemini was in the tent until she sank beside him, taking in the gruesome site. “Is she—”
Hale nodded. “I can’t find a pulse.” It shattered him to even say it.
Gemini leaned forward and pressed her ear to Raene’s chest, ignoring the considerable slick of blood. Hale was moments from telling her to stop when her eyes widened. “I hear it. It’s faint, but it’s there. What can I do?”
Hale spurred into action. His medical training guided his motions, as quick and sure as reflexes. Sparing no considerations for modesty, he and Gemini cut away the strips of blood-soaked fabric and exposed Raene’s grievous wounds. They were so much worse than he first thought, and to his disgrace, Hale found himself wondering how she’d even survived such injuries.
Tasia returned with a basin of water and joined them. It took a long while to wash away the blood, clean the wounds, and bandage them tight. At least she wasn’t losing anymore blood.
Then, Hale addressed the bone protruding from her arm. That would take more time and considerably more care. Gemini held out an alder wood bowl as he plucked the shattered bits of bone from the opening. Then, as it killed him to do, Hale forced the bones back into place. The sickening crunch and snap of tendons echoed through the tent until even Hale wasn’t sure he could do it. At last, with one final, horrible crack, Raene’s bones settled into place.
Gemini gagged. “Is that really going to work?’
Hale could only shrug. “It’ll likely be infected. If not, the bone could regrow in the wrong place. If it grows straight, the muscles may never attach again. More than likely, she’ll lose the arm—” If she lives that long. He couldn’t bring himself to say it.
Ignoring the high likelihood that none of this would matter when she died, Hale bandaged her arm and splinted it to prevent further injury. It was well into the middle of the night when Hale had done all he could. He sent Tasia home—no reason to overwork her in her state.
“Thank you, Gemini,” Hale said to dismiss her as he knelt by the cot. He wasn’t one to pray in public—his beliefs were between him and the Mother—but instead of leaving, Gemini settled onto her knees beside him. Together, they chanted the Mother’s safekeeping prayer.
My Mother of mothers
And tree of trees
Bless us with your light
Grant us passage from the night
We surrender to your might
Guide our darks and our days
Fill us with love in all your ways
Guide our dreams as we sleep
In your grove we’re yours to keep
From seed to tree to forest tall
Keep us safe, one and all
Hale sank back on his heels and tried to turn his fears into faith. The Mother would watch over Raene and guide her back to health.
She had to. There was no other way.
Hale could only sit by and wait to see the evidence of the Mother’s work. He’d done all he could for Raene. For the rest of it, there were still matters to discuss. He needed to settle things with Parson once and for all.
He left Gemini to watch over Raene as he went to find his brother.
Hale should have known he’d be in Da’s tent. Parson sat with the back of the chair between his legs, his arms resting over the top. Behind him, Lathan squinted in the candlelight as he plucked something from one of the many wounds on Parson’s back. Only when Hale was closer did he realize it was a tooth.
“My son,” Da said when he saw Hale enter. Lathan and Parson both turned, looking for any sign of grief on his face. Instead, they found only sheer exhaustion.
“She’s stable for now. She lost a lot of blood, but there’s nothing else we can do. Just have to see—”
So many words remained trapped in his throat.
Hale squeezed his eyes tight and held onto his belief that the Mother had a plan. She wouldn’t have brought Raene to him only to rip her away. He was tempted to flip his coin and be sure, but in truth, he wasn’t sure. There was a part of him that wanted to hold onto some shred of hope a while longer. He didn’t think he could take knowing the wrong answer yet.
“You left her alone?” Parson had the nerve to accuse him.
“Of course not. Gemini’s going to stay until she’s recovered.” Hale didn’t exactly like the idea of Gemini sleeping in his tent day in and day out, but it benefited Raene. He’d agreed without hesitation as soon as she’d offered.
Hale pulled up a chair beside Da and his brothers. “So what happened?”
“We’ve already discussed it. An ambush of coyotes, the Alderai’s agents I expect.” Da was quick to answer.
But Hale wouldn’t be denied his explanation. His bride had been in Parson’s protection and she’d nearly come to die—maybe she still would. Hale deserved to hear the truth from him.
And based on the tight jaw and pain-filled eyes of his brother, Hale knew it was going to be a story he disliked.
A long minute of tense silence passed between them. Lathan continued cleaning the wounds as they waited.
Parson released an aggravated sigh. “We were out hunting.”
Hale shook his head but declined to react just yet. It wasn’t the worst of it, not by a long shot.
“She found a coyote. Just one. I guess she thought she could handle it, but then there were a lot. Too many. She fought them off, killed at least half the pack, but—”
Hale had seen the damage, on both Raene and his brother. He knew what had happened. “And then you brought her back. In your totem.”
Parson flew to his feet, nearly knocking over Lathan hovering behind him. His fists pumped at his side as he shouted, “That’s what you’re worried about? That’s what you have to say to me? I carried her across the forest. I ran for almost an entire day so that she might live. And you’re going to sit here and scold me on how I didn’t do it right?”
Hale was too tired to rise to Parson’s threats. “It’s dangerous, and you know it. You could have taken the horses.” Carrying another person in totem was exceptionally risky and almost always ended in one or both dying. The energies didn’t match. The totems weren’t compatible. Parson knew his bear form couldn’t sustain her tiger totem. He was merely lucky it hadn’t killed her outright.
“She was dying! What did you want me to do? Walk back? Go an hour in the wrong direction to get the cart? Sit there and watch while she bled out?”
Hale stood to face his brother on his feet. “The Mother has a plan for us—”
“It’s a tree, Hale.” Parson stepped forward and put his chest to Hale’s. His voice was a low rumble, almost a whisper, but every word speared him. “Your beloved goddess is a fruit tree. She’s not watching. She’s not planning. We cut her down to make a living. Get it through your head. The Mother didn’t save Raene. I did.”
And just when Hale was sure Parson would throw a punch, he bolted out of Da’s tent.
Hale released a pent up breath, feeling the air in his lungs, all the while wondering if Raene had any left in hers.
He couldn’t go back yet. It would drive him mad to wait beside her. It was killing him to stay away.
So he sank back into Da’s chair and covered his face with his hands. He was drained, exhausted from a night spent working and worrying, and it wasn’t over yet.
A hand appeared on his shoulder,
so massive it could only be Lathan’s.
“I’m fine,” Hale lied. He had to be strong. He had to be better than this. If he was going to be clan leader, he would have to deal with worse, though at the moment he couldn’t think what that might be.
But Lathan would have none of it. As uncompromising as stone, Lathan squeezed Hale tight in his bear hug, one of the hundreds Hale had endured since he was a boy. And as much as he hated to be reliant, Hale squeezed him back.
His veins teemed with an intensity like nothing he’d ever known. Fear for Raene’s life. Anger at Parson’s ineptitude at protecting her. Frustration that Hale couldn’t comprehend how his life had become such a monumental catastrophe. He’d been nothing but devoted, and this was his reward?
Embraced in the formidable arms of his oldest brother, Hale’s anxiety began to fade. The Mother had a plan. Hale would persevere along her path. Raene would survive—he was sure. Maybe this was simply the last test to prove he was worthy of her.
By the time Lathan released him, Hale had relaxed considerably. Without the hum of fear to stay him, his eyelids burned with fatigue, and his body sagged with exhaustion. Hale offered his brother a grateful nod and sank back to his chair.
“Lathan will take a team to collect the horses and cart in the morning, or whatever’s left of them.” Hale knew Da meant to distract him with logistics—seven horses and their largest cart would be a considerable loss—but Hale couldn’t manage to care about it.
Sensing Hale wasn’t up for a discussion, Da laid out an extra pallet in his tent, an open invitation for Hale to stay. “This night has been long, my sons. Get some rest. The sun will bring us some answers.”
Of all the places in the world Parson wanted to be, Hale’s tent wasn’t it. But he’d spent the last of his bandages on his injuries a few nights ago. And thanks to Hale’s interruption, Lathan hadn’t finished dressing the deep punctures on his back and shoulder.
Parson was so furious he couldn’t see straight. The idea of Hale interrogating him was so ludicrous it made his blood boil. Raene was clinging to life—a life Parson saved—and Hale was more concerned with placing blame?
But for the moment, Parson knew where Hale was.
So Parson risked going in.
Gemini lay on the floor beside the cot. She rubbed a hand over her tired eyes and offered him a half-hearted smile as she sat up. “I was expecting the other one.”
Parson ignored that particular comment. “I just need some bandaging cloths. And ointment, if you know where it is.” He didn’t want to stay and chat.
Gemini didn’t have to look all that hard. The supplies were in a box right beside her, and Parson realized they’d only recently used them to patch up Raene. “Thistleroot and burnt sage,” she explained, “for pain and cleaning the wounds.”
Parson nodded his thanks, desperate to leave before Hale returned, but he couldn’t help but step forward, to cross the length of the tent and stand over Raene. With considerable bandaging around her chest and torso, her shallow breaths were barely discernable. If not for the ashen color of her usually-warm skin, she might have looked like she was sleeping, but Parson knew better.
And he would never, ever forget.
Gemini pressed the bandages and ointment into his hands. She opened her mouth to say something, but Parson didn’t want to hear it. He clutched the supplies and bolted through the tent flap before she could say a word.
He was too tired to transition and too angry to sit still. He was no good for anyone. He was no good for Raene.
Parson had never been so completely inept at anything as he’d been at keeping Raene safe. He’d messed up with her time and time again, but not like this. He didn’t know what he could have done differently, but that didn’t change the result. Raene was barely breathing while he was still standing.
It would never feel right.
Tucked into the dark recess of his tent, Parson did his best to smear the ointment over the injuries on his back, though he couldn’t reach half of them.
“Need some help?” Gemini asked from the flap, already inside his tent.
He hadn’t even heard her approach, but he didn’t argue. He simply held the ointment container out to her.
“Here, I brought you some tea to help ward off infection.” Much to his chagrin, Gemini lit a candle, illuminating his sanctuary as she held out a small vial of lavender liquid.
Uncaring as to its contents, Parson accepted the vial and drank. “She’s not alone, is she?” His strained voice was nothing more than breath.
Gemini pressed the ointment into a bite wound just above his hip. “Hale came back. Said he didn’t want to sleep at Da’s. I think he blames himself for it.”
Parson shook his head in disbelief. Hale blamed himself? He hadn’t even been there. He didn’t encourage her to go hunting, to run far from the horses and the tent. Hale hadn’t selfishly pushed her to embrace her totem simply because he loved watching her kill.
“Be still,” Gemini hissed, too bossy for her own good, but Parson listened. Her hands felt good on what skin remained on his back. She was delicate as she treated his injuries, and never once did she cause him undo pain.
“Thanks, Gem,” Parson breathed, more relaxed than he cared to admit.
“Sure, Barson.” She managed to throw a light punch at the only uninjured space on his shoulder.
“Seriously? We’re back to that? Barson?” She’d used the name when she was little, maybe three, and he was at least nine. He paid no attention to her then, of course, but in the years since, Gemini had grown into the clan beauty and a formidable woman in her own right. Asla was a lucky man.
“At this rate, you should be glad. You’re going to run out of relatives if you don’t watch it.” She pressed the first of many bandages to his skin, running her fingers across the sticky edges so it would stay. “You should talk to him. When you’re both calmed down. Well, when he’s calm.” Gemini knew him too well. Parson was never too far from the edge of his aggression.
Parson let out a long, regretful sigh. “There’s no point. He’s never going to forgive me. And he shouldn’t. I messed up.” It was the anthem of his life. Parson Frane, the man who ruined everything.
Only this time, he hadn’t sired a child he’d never see again. He hadn’t failed to keep his mother alive. He hadn’t let a stranger take his sister across the realm. He’d put Raene in serious danger. She’d be lucky to survive, and even if she did, she’d never be the same. There was such a gaping hole of guilt in his chest, Parson could scarcely draw breath.
“You Frane boys are thick as rocks.” Gemini scoffed behind him.
With his face buried in his hands, Parson said, “Bears aren’t known for their flexibility.” He rubbed at his eyes and found the full day of running catching up to him. He was delirious with exhaustion as his mind raced.
“True,” she admitted. “But you saved her life, and for that, he’ll forgive you for everything else.”
Parson could only think of the words Hale had said, still fresh on his mind from their fight only minutes ago.
It’s dangerous, and you know it.
And by all accounts, Hale was right. There was no way Parson should have been able to carry her in totem form. But what choice did he have? She was all but dead anyway. Maybe it had been her weakness, the near absence of life in her that allowed him to carry her. In her full tiger form, all strength and power, they would have killed each other instantly.
No matter how it happened, Parson would never recover—the feeling of Raene tucked into his totem, nestled against him and secured by his transitional energy, the warmth she radiated even in such a weak state—Parson could never hope to erase such an experience, like she’d burned him at his core.
But he didn’t want to get into it with Gemini. Instead, he simply said, “I also nearly let her get killed by a pack of coyotes. I’m not sure even Hale is that forgiving.” Parson, for one, would never forgive himself.
“Maybe no
t.”
“You sure know how to cheer a guy up. Thanks Gem,” Parson replied with a sneer before he gave in to a massive yawn.
“Anytime.” She handed him the unused bandages and headed toward the tent flap. “I’ll keep an eye on her tonight. Try to get some sleep.” Then lower, she added, “The lavender night tea should help.”
Parson frowned. “You said it was for infection.”
“You wouldn’t have taken it if I told you it was a sleeping tea.” Gemini smirked at her victory. Then, she was gone, and Parson was alone with what he’d done.
But despite how he was sure he’d never get his racing mind to settle, he found his eyelids too heavy. Within minutes, he was face down on his pallet, fast asleep.
Daughter
BEFORE SHE WAS even fully awake, Raene felt the pain. Her whole body screamed in agony like she’d been lit on fire. Not aches or sores or even cuts, but sheer, blinding pain. Her head felt as if it had been slowly compressed until her brain oozed out her ears.
Of all the misery she felt, her arm was the only part of her that didn’t hurt, but only because she couldn’t feel it at all.
Lying on her left side, Raene could barely move. Even a tiny motion reignited the pain, like she’d caught fire once more. She might as well have been crushed under a boulder, her body shattered and pinned in place. There was nothing she could do. Even breathing was agony.
“Raene?” Came a tiny, whispered voice. “I need you to open your mouth. Just a little. Raene? Open your mouth,” insisted the voice. Gentle. Female. Bossy.
Raene realized it was Gemini, and though it took her several seconds, she complied, only to have her mouth filled with a strange, cool tea. It tasted of mint and raspberries and something with the sourness of rot. Raene would have gagged it up if she’d had the strength.
“There, give that a few minutes. You’ll feel better soon.” Gemini let Raene lay in horrible discomfort in silence, but as promised, the pain gradually subsided. As if the boulder was slowly raised, Raene regained some range of motion with each passing minute while the tea worked to silence the worst of her pain.
