The Price of Penny

by T. C. Rybicki

  I found Chet making up the sectional like a bed when I finished up my nightly routine which included some lavender, chamomile lotion. If I was being extremely honest with myself, Chet liked the way I smelled and I liked that he liked it. Maybe I sent mixed signals, but I couldn’t help myself. He spread out extra pillows and blankets to make a bed in the spot I imagined sleeping earlier.

  “I’m kinda tired.”

  “Me too.”

  “So, I thought I might sleep here, but . . .”

  “This is where I usually sleep.”

  “Okay, where should I go?”

  “I want you to stay with me. I’ve proven I can behave. There’s plenty of space.”

  This wasn’t the best idea, but it was becoming harder to tell Chet no about things. I liked being close to him. We dozed off a few times together at my place and it was always nice waking up in his arms. He’d pulled a long ottoman over. It made our corner look more like a bed than a couch. Before I answered, my feet were already walking toward him.

  “Nice. You want inside or out?”

  “I don’t know.” He said he liked to sleep with his back against the cushions. The front was fine for me. I didn’t mention it was the best solution because I’d have an unobstructed getaway if I felt overwhelmed. Maggie swore she and Keats were going back to our house before ten to watch Pepper, but I insisted on sending her a message. Chet teased that I had to check on the kid.

  Crazy, he had that word on the brain tonight and it made me ultra-nervous. I couldn’t discuss children with him. I couldn’t even give him a kiss on the lips. But I wanted to. I’d thought about it a little more every time we were alone. A normal girlfriend would’ve kissed her guy like crazy for singing songs to her, about her. That was the most romantic thing he’d ever done, by far. However, I was not normal. This was a fact we were both aware of.

  Chet got comfy first and patted the spot in front of him. I asked about the glowing lights over the bar. He whipped out the remote that controlled more than the big screen, apparently. With a click of the button, we were in the dark, on the sectional, under the covers, lying side by side and he was touching me.

  Even behaving felt daring. He wasn’t touching my erogenous zones, but my exhausted body suddenly felt like it was being lit up like a Christmas tree with excitement. He whispered close to my shoulder. “I like having you over. We should make sleepovers a regular thing.”

  In my mind I was thinking should we? So many other things raced through my brain. Chet said people would learn my name. It felt so weird to have my picture taken a thousand times in a minute, no telling how many were dreadful. I bet my eyes were shut completely or really squinty in half of them. I wanted to be around him practically all the time when I wasn’t working, but that was our time. Did I just agree to give up a great deal of my privacy?

  The last thing I planned on saying blurted out of my mouth with no consideration. “Chet, do you ever think about us making out?”

  He’d been rubbing my arm, but he ceased all movement. He coughed and slightly choked. I was insane. I begged him to forget I asked that when he answered. “Um, not that much, just every twenty seconds or so. Why? You offering?”

  I turned toward him so we were facing each other. “I’m sorry. That was a crazy thing to say. I don’t know where my mouth filter is sometimes.”

  “Unfiltered Penny is my favorite.”

  “Maggie said guys like you expect more and I should give you a taste.” It was dark but I could hear him swallow. “I’m fully aware this is unconventional and you have been abnormally patient. I just thought you should know, I’m not ignoring the physical side of our relationship. I think about it . . . a lot, too.” I giggled, “Maybe not every twenty seconds like you, but of course I’m not completely abnormal.” I was better. I was already more comfortable in close proximity with Chet than I’d been in six months of dating Elliot. I wanted to prove to him how hard I was trying, but I was also afraid. I didn’t want him to see the wacko, anxiety-ridden side of me or else he might go running for the hills. Even though, we were pretty much brand new, I still couldn’t imagine never seeing him again.

  Chet put one hand on my waist and one on my cheek. He pulled me slightly closer. “Penny, you can’t scare me away. I know what you’re worried about. I’m not going to lie. This isn’t easy, but the best things in life rarely come easy.”

  He was right. I was also certain he might be too good to be true, but I never forced him into this. He made his choice, fully informed and he still wanted to try. “I have an experiment in mind, but I don’t want to make things harder for you.”

  He covered my lips with one finger and made a joke. “Not a good choice of words, but anyway, keep going. What do you want to try?”

  I was glad it was extremely dark so he couldn’t see how embarrassed I was at my unintentional pun. Chet gave me sweet kisses, gentle pecks, never exactly on the lips regularly. He was an affectionate man. It frightened me at first. I’d never been overly affectionate even with my family, but now I highly anticipated those moments. I wanted to reciprocate, but for this first try, I thought it was important he merely accepted my offerings. “I want to kiss you like you kiss me, but when I do, I think it’s best you don’t react. Baby steps, remember?”

  “You’ve got seriously control issues, sweetheart. You know that, right? I agreed to baby steps, but I can assure you if you kiss me, a reaction will follow . . . a big one to be exact.”

  I pulled away. This wouldn’t work, I was dumb.

  “Don’t do that. I didn’t mean it like it sounded. Try, Penny. I’ll do what you tell me. I’m literally at your mercy.”

  I told him to be very still. I wanted to kiss him, but not have him kiss me back. There were four or five places on him that constantly held my attention. I would start there and then most likely, we would sleep. I didn’t want to push my luck.

  “Promise, you won’t move. I need you to be still.”

  “I’m practically frozen with fear and anticipation because I don’t know what you’re about to do. Go on. I swear; I’m not moving.”

  He was on his back so I raised up. I leaned in slowly. I took so long, Chet made a little frustrated sound. I realized in the dark, I needed to feel my way there or I might waste my kisses on the wrong places, but then again, was there a wrong spot? I stopped when I felt his breath on my cheek.

  “Penny,” he exhaled my name like he’d been holding it in.

  I touched his lips with my finger. “Shhh, I’m almost there.”

  I trailed my finger up his face until I felt the movement of his eyelashes. That was my mark, I pressed my face forward where my fingers held his eye closed and I placed a hurried kiss to his right eyelid, lifted my head up, paused two seconds and plummeted back to the left one for a more lingering connection with the other eye. I swear we both released the air in our lungs simultaneously without planning it.

  I sat up and covered my nose and mouth with my hand to settle my nerves. He made a remark. “You aren’t about to run to the bathroom to vomit, are you?”

  “No, I need a second.”

  “I know the feeling.”

  “Now you know.”

  “What the temperature of your lips are? Yes, it has been a constant wonder in my mind for weeks. Thanks, they are just right.”

  “No, silly, that I really love your eyes. From a distance, they’re your everyday brown, but I swear the closer I get, the more the other colors pop out. There are flecks of gold and green and I like the energy that passes between us when you look at me. Therefore, they deserved my first kiss.” Did I really say all that? I was practically gushing like one of his silly fangirls. “I’m so glad we can’t see each other right now. I’m so weird. Do you want me to stop?”

  “Never stop, Penny.” He held my hand tighter.

  The eyes were fairly generic and not too intimate for starters. There was one particular spot I’d fixated on since I first met him. I wasn’t even sure if there was a nam
e for it, but when he turned to the side, it was there. That firm line popped up in his neck and I got weak in the knees, swirly-girly feelings in the pit of my stomach. I was going to freaking kiss him on the neck like he’d done to me once before, that’s if I didn’t chicken out. He was so quiet and still now, if I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought he drifted off to sleep.

  I brought our joined fingers to his chest, leaned over, pushed his chin away from me to focus on that tendon that was there. I stopped thinking about it and did it. I kissed him. I even made a noise with my lips. He made a different type of noise. I didn’t jerk away like I’d planned. I remained close and hummed against his skin, “I like that spot. It’s one of your best assets in my opinion.”

  I fell onto my back next to him and breathed out all the air in my lungs. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest and I was in a certain state of suspense. Had I gone too far? I really wished Chet would speak, but I was too afraid to ask him to.

  “Umm . . .” finally surfaced.

  “Oh, wait. Hold that thought.” I brought his hand up with mine and gave him my final kiss to the inside of his wrist. “There, I saved the best part for last. I have a weakness for a strong wrist. Thanks for putting up with me. Night, Chet.”

  He didn’t say it back. We rested there side by side with our hands linked, but nothing else was said or done. I kinda hoped for one bit of feedback. The kisses were a huge step for me.

  “Goodnight, Penny.” I shifted slightly as I thought about saying one more thing. He stopped me. “Nope, not another word. Don’t move again either, and if you can, stop breathing so much. That would be best. I appreciate what you did, but trust me, I can’t take the least bit more from you tonight. Sweet dreams, my Penny Lover.”

  Chet and I watched stupid videos on his phone, one of his favorite past-times. We cuddled in the backseat of my car. He wrapped his arm around me and I played with his fingers. I was anxious and excited about our weekend trip. My current annoyance was Maggie eyeing us every time I giggled. We were driving to Monterey. Keats offered to drive up if we drove back to LA Monday morning.

  I kicked the seat with my foot. “Mags, knock it off. We don’t constantly stare at the two of you when you’re in the backseat.”

  She quickly pointed out we weren’t equipped to deal with what they were up to. I rolled my eyes. Chet squeezed me tighter into his side. I didn’t need to be pawing all over him or climbing in his lap to feel close to him. We were in a different stage of our relationship. I swear my sister was the only one trying to light a fire under us. Chet was good with the way things were. I was sure of that now.

  “Chet, are you looking forward to bedding down with Keats? I know he’s thrilled.”

  He eyed me curiously, mouthed, bedding down? I reminded him. “Aunt Shar’s rental cabin, remember, because the house will be full of guests. I told you.” Unlike him, I laid everything out ahead of time but typical man, he wasn’t always listening.

  Keats held up a finger to speak to Chet, “Just saying, if it’s bunk beds. I prefer to be on bottom, so dibs.”

  Maggie tickled Keats from the side, “So true.”

  “Ugh, enough! It’s two damn separate beds across the room from each other. I looked at the pictures online. The two of you could use a hiatus from all things physical, so perhaps you can think about other things for a change. Maggie, this wedding is weeks away and you need to focus. I’m finishing up the semester with my kids, and the summer is going to be hectic at the clinic, especially if I’m taking off half of July.”

  She apologized for the tenth time for flubbing an appointment we had with the venue. Mind you, it was only a phone appointment, but Maggie knew she was damn well lucky to snag her dream location in between LA and our parents’ house. Her must-haves were lengthy. Only a few places could accommodate her in Daddy’s price range and have the available dates. I hated that we screwed up that important call. I felt guilty as maid of honor for dropping the ball, but I’d reminded her. I thought that was good enough. Maggie kept insisting it wasn’t a big deal since everything had been locked in. The resort might have her deposit, but I assured her if one of her many special requests got screwed up because of her carelessness, it would be a big deal to her, eventually. We’d had this tiff already once or twice, but apparently we were doing it again.

  “Well, excuse me for not being organized and perfect like you, Poppy. A little sympathy would be nice. My love and I aren’t used to separation and you know how Daddy is. He still imagines you and I in tutus and ballet slippers with a flower halo in our hair. We’re not children, for cripes’ sake.”

  “Agreed, so why don’t you man up and march to Daddy when we arrive and declare Keats is staying in your room.”

  “Well, that’s hardly necessary on his birthday weekend. I don’t want to bring unwanted stress. The wedding plans are hard enough on him.”

  “Agreed, so quit being so dramatic. It’s childish.”

  Chet was making faces and shaking his head at our spat. He was used to it by now, but he didn’t like arguing. Maggie only liked to talk shit, but when it came to our parents, she was a giant kiss up and Daddy most certainly had her number. He knew she wasn’t as innocent as she pretended to be. It was enough I knew the truth, but I had to push the topic further.

  “It isn’t like Dad deludes himself you’re a virgin. He remembers your teen years with grief and embarrassment, I’m positive.”

  Maggie turned around a little more. I was older and supposedly more mature, but there at times, I cowered to my little sister. She looked pissed and when she was angry, she’d go for the jugular.

  “Well, at least one of his precious darlings will remain one indefinitely. You’re his favorite, anyway. Why don’t you tell him Chet’s staying with you instead. It’s perfectly safe; you always keep the chastity belt with you. Check her bag, Chet, I’m sure she didn’t forget it.”

  “Fuck off.”

  “No, you fuck off. You’re the one that called me a slut in front of my fiancé, twit.”

  “Babe, calm down. She’s joking. We’re good. Come on, all of us respect Frank and have no issues with the sleeping arrangements for a few nights. This is supposed to be a fun weekend.”

  “Thanks, Keats, and I never ever called you a slut, even when you practically were one in high school. That reminds me, Mum and Dad are still friends with some of those boys’ parents. Hope this party doesn’t get awkward for you if one or ten of them shows up.”

  “No more awkward than when you had to shake hands with the fab actress with the perfect tits that used to ride your so-called boyfriend when all you allow is cozy hugs.” Maggie was looking at me and mouthed, bitch.

  Keats tried to referee us again, but now Maggie was mad at him for not defending her. She yelled at him as well. We weren’t even halfway and the trip already completely sucked. I was humiliated. Chet hadn’t said a word; in fact he had shifted away from me and stared out the window.

  I needed another comeback, I hated to lose a sister insult match. Mags was under a lot of stress and didn’t mean half the crap she said. She knew how difficult my struggles were and she deeply regretted her behavior in high school. She’d done a complete turn around when she came to live with me in LA. She hadn’t had one single boyfriend or hookup until she met Keats and fell head over heels in love with him. I didn’t understand why we were going at it like this. I wanted to apologize instead of maligning my sister’s reputation further.

  Before I got a word out, Chet practically yelled in my ear. “No! Not another damn word! In fact, can everyone shut up or change the fucking subject? Jesus Christ! Penny’s right, the two of you need to cool the PDA, it’s obnoxious. However, Maggie’s right about a few things. Fuck!” He leaned forward and banged his fists on his forehead. “Keats, can you stop at that station, I need some air.”

  I tried to reach for his hand again, but he promptly folded his arms in front of him. Chet turned to stare out the window again. I could see how heavy
he was breathing. How had my row with Mags made him so angry? I guess I’d been fooling myself for weeks. He wasn’t fine with our arrangement in the least. I’d never seen him act this way. Sure enough, as soon as Keats stopped, Chet was out the door without so much as a word. He walked away and left me.

  The three of us sat in silence for a few seconds, then Keats volunteered to top off the gas tank which I doubted would hold over three or four gallons. I’d filled up the night before. He seemed eager to evacuate the car as quick as Chet. Maggie pushed her way into the backseat as soon as he was out.

  She pulled me into her arms. “I’m so sorry, hun. I’m dreadful. I didn’t mean any of it.”

  She started crying, then I cried even worse. We attempted to talk while blubbering like fools. Maggie and I never went more than a few minutes angry before we always apologized. I sniffled. “It’s all my fault, I started it.”

  “No, I did. I tease you all the time and I know damn well, you pretty much have a medical problem. I’m a horrid bitch.”

  “No, you’re not. I’m a shrew.”

  “Well, sometimes, yes.” We both laughed. Maggie had her arm around me. I put my head on her shoulder, “Who knew?”

  “What?”

  “That Chet could be such an arse. That was uncalled for. It was our row, not any of his business. Who the hell does he think he is telling us to shut up?”

  “Oh Mags, I’ve been a fool. This was a terrible mistake.”

  “No, it’ll be fine. I still like him and think he’s perfect for you. Being cramped in a car makes people moody sometimes. He’ll be fine when he comes back out, if he ever does.” She and I both kept looking toward the entrance where he disappeared. “Mum and Dad really like him, it was great that you invited him and that he accepted.”

  “No, not just the weekend, I mean all of it. Who am I kidding? He doesn’t deserve this lame relationship. He could have so much better. I should tell him to call a cab or something and we can make the break once and for all.”

  “You will not. Look, there he is. He’s coming back, but he can sit up front. I’m staying here. Don’t talk to him either when he gets in. I guarantee by the time we get there he’ll be missing you and he’ll grovel the rest of the weekend.”