The Price of Penny

by T. C. Rybicki

  I thought Chet looked worse than he was acting. I was overcome with concern on top of my anger. I asked everyone if we could have a moment. I walked over to the side of the building. I tried to forget about all the eyes that were on us at the moment, but Chet had already caused a scene. I was sure someone was recording us at this point.

  “What is wrong with you?”

  He propped one hand close to my head on the brick and leaned into me. His proximity intimidated me and made my heart race.

  “I think that’s obvious, my fiancée is on a date with another man.” He looked over his shoulder and raised his voice. “A presumptive little prick that better think twice about taking advantage of a grief-stricken woman.”

  I swatted his chest like he was used to when I needed him to behave. “Stop that. People are staring and I’m not your fiancée. We broke up.”

  “Wrong. We didn’t do any sort of thing. That was all you, baby. I never agreed to any break-up.” He slurred his words.

  “You’re drunk.”

  “Maybe, but I’m sober enough to protect what’s mine.”

  “I’m not yours . . . not anymore.”

  Chet took his other hand and traced the lines of my face like he’d done hundreds of times before. This time was different. My voice stuck in my throat and a tremble moved through my body. It had been months since I felt his touch.

  “You sure about that?”

  “Stop touching me. Won’t your triplets get jealous?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “They aren’t even related.”

  “Could have fooled me: all skinny, blonde, clueless, and top heavy. They don’t wear proper clothes either. Maybe a rich wanker should buy them something to cover up.” I hated sounding like a jealous shrew.

  “They’re acquaintances. We’re not dating.”

  “I hardly care who you date, but Grace might.”

  He lost the smirk. Chet moved closer into my personal space. “Grace and I are over.”

  “Oh, then she’s like me.”

  “No, not at all. No one’s like you, Penny. Come home with me.”

  “Are you insane?”

  “Yes. Crazy without you. Come back home.”

  “I live with Maggie and Keats now.” He got even closer. “Please, back up. You smell like ghastly perfume and whiskey.”

  “Can’t stand it, you wish I was covered in your lavender fragrance.” He put his mouth next to my ear. “I do too, but so help me God, if you go off with that lawyer douche, I’m going to go jail. Is that what you want, Penny? You want me to get arrested?”

  “Of course not. It was just dinner.”

  “So you’re not seeing him?”

  “That’s none of your business.” I pushed him away.

  “Does he know?”

  “Know what?”

  “About your problem.” The next few seconds were a bit of blur. I wasn’t sure it actually happened. Chet broke my heart with his callous words, “So he hasn’t gotten close enough to make you runaway crying? That’s good to know.”

  I slapped him so hard, I thought my hand was surely broken. How dare he say that to me? He knew how sensitive I was about my most shameful shortcoming.

  Maggie was there seconds later. “Get away from her Chet. You’re a liar. This isn’t what we discussed. Go home and sleep it off.”

  “Penny, wait. I’m sorry. Please, let me explain. Are you okay?” He had the red outline of my hand on his cheek, but he was concerned about me. His concern wasn’t appreciated any longer, nor needed. I’d been saying it for a long time, but I’d never convinced myself it was true until this moment. Chet and I were over. It took a long lecture from Keats, but Chet finally left us.

  Simon still wanted to take me home. Maggie said she and Keats weren’t going out for drinks, but I insisted. I needed a little time alone. Simon asked if I wanted to talk about it and I said no. I asked him more about his job hoping to deflect the attention off me. We compared stories about London. He wasn’t nearly as boring as I’d thought the first time we had dinner. He walked me to the front door like a gentleman.

  “Penny, I think it’s pretty obvious, I always liked you. I know you’re in a unique place in your life and I’m about to move, but I’d still like to get to know you a little better.”

  I was stunned since he’d just witnessed how much of a my mess my life was.

  “Please, dinner, coffee, a movie, whatever you’re up for?”

  “Simon, I’m so sorry about the way Chet acted.”

  “Totally not your fault. In fact, if I lost a gem like you, I might clearly lose my mind as well. He’s a jerk, there’s no denying that. I’ve thought so since the wedding, but I feel sorry for him a tiny bit.”

  I almost snorted, “Tiny?”

  He held his fingers close together with barely a sliver of space between them. “The tiniest.”

  “Fair enough. You really want to hang out again?”

  “Yes.”

  “You have my number?”

  “It’s saved under all hope is lost, but I’m thinking of changing it to, maybe.”

  Simon did the impossible. He had me laughing. I was actually smiling and laughing at his jokes and I wasn’t faking it.

  “Sure. I’ll go out with you.”

  “I guess I’d be pressing my luck if I asked to kiss you goodnight.”

  I wasn’t expecting that, but this whole evening had been one unexpectant thing after the next. “Press it. I might surprise you.”

  He leaned forward and gave me a sweet kiss. It wasn’t horrible by any means, but I regretted it the second another man’s mouth touched mine. I told him I looked forward to hearing from him. I ran inside and cried my eyes out on the pillow until Maggie sneaked in and climbed on the bed beside me.

  “There there, Poppy. Let it all out. Who would have ever believed you’d end up the screwed up sister?”

  “Shut up. I’m not screwed up. It’s just a tumultuous time. Chet’s the one that has a screw loose and I guarantee that slap is going viral by tomorrow. I’m so embarrassed.”

  “Oh honey, social media works way faster than that. The slap is already out there from more than one angle.”

  I pulled the pillow over my face and sobbed some more. I finally remembered what I’d been meaning to say to her. “It was Chet the whole time. That’s who you were texting at dinner. Why did you think telling him where I was so he could rub his triple tarts in my face was a good idea?”

  “How did I know he’d bring other women along? I merely suggested a place he might run into you. I had no idea he was already sauced and prepared to make an arse of himself in front of the entire world. I thought if he saw you with Simon, he would snap out of it. I guess the plan backfired. The fact is, the two of you need to talk and whatever that street altercation was is not what I had in mind. You still need to talk and straighten this mess out.”

  “That’s impossible. We’re over.”

  “You’re both madly in love with each other.”

  “I told you he’d moved on. Tonight proved it. He looked good too, other than the jealous, drunk, tired arsehole facade.”

  Maggie asked who I was looking at because Chet Parker looked like shit when he crashed our conversation on the sidewalk. I tried to stop her from saying anymore, but Maggie put her finger over my mouth. “No, you will listen to me. No interruptions. I know I’m the flighty one and you’re the smart one, but I have something important I need to get off my chest. Poppy, losing Donny was the worst blow any of us could fathom. I know you’re hurting and it’s the deepest cut you could sustain.” We both burst into tears at the mention of his name. It still happened every time. “But you need to accept, you aren’t the only one in pain. You don’t have a patent on misery.”

  I knew Chet and all our families grieved Donny. “Mags, we’re all hurting, but you don’t understand no matter how hard you try to put yourself in my place. You’re not a mother.”

  Maggie said something totally une
xpected after a brief pause, “I almost was once, a very long time ago.”

  I tried to make sense of what my sister had just said. I must have heard wrong. I wiped my eyes and looked at her straight on. “Huh?”

  “Remember Maxwell Floyd?”

  The Floyd’s lived in Jordan’s neighborhood. Mr. Floyd was a judge and Maggie had a ridiculous crush on their youngest boy, Max but he was a senior and barely gave her the time of day. I was shocked when she finally landed him but seemed to toss him aside rather quickly. Those were Maggie’s fickle days. She didn’t stay with one boy too long.

  “I was fifteen. I thought I loved him.”

  “Oh, Maggie. He was your first, wasn’t he?”

  “If you want to call me in the back seat of his car, trapped underneath him, crying and begging him to please stop, my first; then yes, he was my first.”

  I covered my mouth. I wasn’t aware I was holding my breath until I gasped for some air. Maggie and I were distant with each other those teenage years because I was consumed with caring for Jordan.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because you were in a world of pain and I didn’t want to add to it. And I was ashamed.”

  “You shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t your fault. Daddy would have killed him with his bare hands. The judge’s son? He got away with it. That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I’d almost forgotten her mother comment, but it came back to me. “You got pregnant?”

  “Yep. One hard knock on top of another. I was so alone. I told him and he threatened me. Called me a slut, said he’d spread it all over the school that it wasn’t his. I was petrified. I’d never been with anyone else and he knew, but it would be his word against mine.”

  “What happened to the baby? Did you?”

  “Nature, I suppose. Fate, maybe God knew what a terrible mum I’d make at 15. I lost it on our bathroom floor one afternoon when you all were at the hospital. I didn’t want it. I’m sorry to say, but I still felt bad. I mean when it happened, I was sad about it too. I never made much sense, did I?”

  We held each other and cried. I apologized for being so wrapped up in my own life I missed the signs. I would’ve done anything to protect my little sister. “Do Mum and Dad know?”

  “No and let’s keep it that way. I’ve moved on and our family has had enough sorrow.”

  “Did you tell Keats?”

  “I tell Keats everything.”

  “Keats is a good man.”

  “He is. I don’t deserve him.”

  “Yes, you do. You’re both perfect for one another.”

  “But the thing is, Poppy. I’m imperfect and Keats still loves me.”

  I wasn’t sure what she meant, but Maggie says she was a dumb kid and didn’t realize at the time she got a terrible infection after the miscarriage. Mum thought she had the flu and it would run it’s course so she never saw a doctor.

  “Dr. Brown says I have scar tissue. I might not be able to have children now. We’re not sure, but I stopped taking the pill after we married. It’s been almost ten months and no luck. Keats wanted a family. He hated being an only child. I kept it to myself, but I really wanted to have kids the same age as yours. We were going to explore some testing but then after you lost the baby, we postponed it all. I wanted to be here for you. Trying felt insensitive.”

  “You have been here, every step of the way. I’m sure it’ll work out. There’s so many advances with fertility treatments if you even need them. Some couples just take a while. If you and Keats are ready, don’t let what happen to me delay your plans. Start the testing. Please, for me.”

  “We’ll discuss it another day. Let’s get back on topic. I didn’t tell you all this without a good reason. You know what you said about Keats and I. That’s how I feel about you and Chet. You belong together. Please, Poppy don’t let your pain and regret separate you forever from the man you love. Pick up the phone tomorrow and tell him you still love him. He never asked you to be perfect. You’re the only one on earth that puts that demand on yourself.”

  I knew she meant well, but I just couldn’t. “It hurts too much. I see him and all I can think is how I was going to give him a son, but I lost him. His touch only reminds me how close we were. Then I remember how we created a life together, but that life was taken from us. I don’t know how to move past all the pain. I’m afraid I never will.”

  “I know, but are you going to stay alone forever because you’re afraid to keep loving Chet?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. Simon asked me out.”

  “Really? That’s odd. I wouldn’t think he would after what happened tonight.”

  “Well, he did and he kissed me too.”

  “No way. You allowed that? I’m stunned.”

  “Yes, I had to try.”

  “And?”

  “It was a kiss.”

  “You hated it.”

  “No, I didn’t hate it.”

  “But it wasn’t Chet. Babe, you cannot lead Simon on. That’s not like you.”

  “I don’t plan on leading anyone on. It was just nice to be in a different situation. It was nice to smile again and for a second not to hurt so much that I am screaming on the inside.”

  “But he’s not Chet.” That was an obvious statement I didn’t respond to.

  I told Maggie we both needed some sleep. I hugged her a long time. I apologized again for the times I let her down. She held my face in her hands. “You. Have. Never. Let. Me. Down.”

  “Ditto.”

  I tried to fall asleep but there was so much to think about. Maggie was right. Everyone hurt, some more than others. She was a survivor and so were Mum and Dad, but was I? I kept hearing Maggie repeat that Simon wasn’t Chet. He definitely wasn’t anything like him. Maybe that’s exactly what I needed.

  I finished up my fourth and final meeting with Gage, Steins and some studio execs. Voyagers number five was in the early planning stages. I declined again. This time they accepted my answer. It just so happened I didn’t even have to shoot another scene. There was enough prior footage to incorporate my death in the first twenty seconds. I signed the confidentiality agreements. I was officially done with that stage of my career. It felt final. It was a relief.

  Gage shook his head at me when I started to leave. “You are one stubborn bastard.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “That’s it?”

  “I didn’t end my association with you unless this is you giving me the boot. I’ll make more movies. I hope.”

  “No, I’m still representing you. Are you getting your life straightened out? Remember, every damn person and their ten-year-old has a camera. Never forget that fact, Chet.” Gage wasn’t happy with me the night I got drunk and backed Penny into a wall. I was my own worst critic. I deserved the slap heard around the Internet.

  I told him I was. I’d been reading dozens of scripts. None captured my interest quite yet. I banished all the parasites from my life. I wasn’t seeing anyone but true friends and no more random chicks. Drinking was not a part of my day-to-day life. I spent a lot of time in the gym to blow off steam. The rest of the time I had a pen in hand writing lyrics or a guitar on my lap.

  I wanted her back, but I had to get my head on straight before I saw her again. Penny deserved the version of me she fell in love with. I’d strayed, but I was back on the path. We had been separated almost six months and not a morning passed that I didn’t roll over and reach for her. My mind played tricks on me when I slept. So many times, I dreamed we were a real family. All three of us. I missed our son. I missed Penny. We could still be a family. Donny’s memory was part of us.

  I had one hurdle, but I never considered it a huge one. Penny was hanging around with lawyer boy quite a bit. He was soon to fly far far away, so I didn’t sweat him too much. I figured Penny only saw him to spite me because I knew she didn’t have feelings for him.

  As usual, I could get a little too sure of myself at times. Maggie gave me regular u
pdates, so I didn’t think anything about her name appearing on my phone.

  “Hey, Mags. I was just thinking, we should set up the meeting for real this time.” We’d been trying to get the four of us together again. She’d said when I was ready, she’d make it happen.

  Maggie immediately clued me in she was frantic. I couldn’t understand her. “I said, she’s leaving. She didn’t tell me until the last minute because she knew I’d try to stop her. Please, Chet. You’re the only one that can stop her. Mum and Dad failed as badly as I did.”

  “Leaving? Where?” I’d go stop her, but I had no idea where she was going.

  “LAX. She’s already taken a car.”

  “Where the hell is she flying?”

  “London.”

  “To visit your grandparents?”

  “I’m sure she will but that’s not why she’s leaving.”

  “Spit it out, Maggie.”

  “Simon left three days ago. I thought that was the end of them.” It damn well should be was the first thing I thought. “He gave her a plane ticket and a ring and told her to think about it. She did. Apparently, all of three days and she’s joining him. Chet, are you still there? Did you hear me? Poppy is going to marry Simon and live in England.”

  “I heard you.” I still didn’t believe it.

  “She’s off her rocker. We need to have her committed, don’t we? You have connections. Do something. Can you buy a judge or a doctor? You have to stop her.”

  “Give me the details. I’ll do my best.”

  “Chet, you have to do better than your best. I can’t lose my sister.”

  I had to face the reality that we all might have lost her for good.

  A few paps caught sight of me upon arrival. It was nothing new for them to camp out like vultures. Sometimes, they feigned concern, hoping to get a scoop on some news. They were all asking questions. It seemed Penny had been spotted as well. Maybe I wasn’t too late.

  “You and Penny, Chet? You’re back together? Taking a trip?” I didn’t respond as I kept on walking.

  “Yes? No? Come on Chet. Let us know. We’re rooting for you.” I managed a thumbs up. I had no idea what was about to happen, but I had the slightest hope.