“We’ll see about that.”
Rina watched as he turned and walked back out to the crowded sidewalk.
She let the wall take the weight of her body from her shaking, saggy knees. Her head hit the veined marble as she realized she’d just made a tactical error with one of America’s best aerial dogfighters. A tactical error that could mean the next few weeks of her life were going to be hell.
She’d just issued him a challenge.
4
“HOW’D IT GO?”
Rina looked across the tiny table in the back of the casino restaurant at her best friend.“You really want to know?”
It was late. Later than she normally stayed out on a work night, but she’d needed time to decompress before going home and Sadie was the only person she knew in the city who’d be up and awake. Sadie enjoyed her job as night bar manager on the strip. She was tall enough, blond enough and certainly stacked enough to have a more high-paying job as a showgirl, but that wasn’t what she wanted—not that she hadn’t been asked by quite a few of the casting directors.
Rina had no idea how they’d become friends. Maybe it was because they were complete opposites in just about every way.
Not that it mattered. The moment she’d met Sadie her sophomore year of high school they’d clicked.
“Yes, I want to know. How did he take the news?”
Rina dropped her head onto crossed arms atop the corner table, the polished wood and cotton eating her muffled words. “I didn’t tell him.”
“What?”
She lifted her head but only far enough to see her friend over the safety of her arms. “I chickened out.”
“Rina.” The single word reminded her more of her father than she’d like to admit.
That man knew how to fill one word with more disappointment and censure than anyone she’d ever met. She’d spent her entire life trying to avoid provoking that tone of voice. Trying to be different from her mother, the woman he was constantly telling her she was the spitting image of. The woman who’d deserted them both before managing to kill herself and injure a father and his son while driving drunk.
The woman she never wanted to be. The woman she saw in the mirror every time she looked.
If the General ever found out about this mess, he’d be so disappointed.
He’d run their house like he’d run his men. He’d always held high standards, for himself and everyone around him. Sometimes the pressure to live up to those expectations had been heavy to bear. But she had. Because she was a McAllister.
Not that any of that mattered anymore. What did matter was the mess she’d gotten herself into. Which she had made infinitely worse by letting Chase kiss her. Where was her damn self-control when she needed it?
“You’re right. I wouldn’t have told him anyway. I was too busy letting him suck the skin off my neck.” She let out a groan and dropped her head back onto her arms. She really didn’t want to see the look on Sadie’s face.
“Sabrina McAllister.”
The shock in Sadie’s voice was exactly what she’d expected.
“It’s about time you had some fun. And I say who better to give you a little sexual satisfaction than your husband?”
“Sure. If I wanted to stay married, which I don’t. The minute I sleep with him any hope of an annulment goes out the damn window. Before, we didn’t know we were married. Now we do.”
“So what if the judge doesn’t find out?”
Rina cut her eyes over the top of her arms.
“Have you seen my life lately? He’d find out.”
“So what? Then you get a divorce.”
“Then the General finds out, along with my commanding officer, and all hell breaks loose. We’re breaking about a million regs right now. Frankly, I’ve spent most of my life avoiding disappointing the General. Somehow, I think causing an air-force-wide scandal would crash that effort.”
Sadie rolled her eyes in a familiar gesture that did little to help Rina feel better. “You need to stop worrying about what your father thinks.”
“Yeah. Easier said than done.”
“No. No it isn’t.”
Rina sighed. Her friend simply didn’t understand. She had no idea how to turn off twenty-nine years of pleasing the man. It was a firmly entrenched habit.
For most of those years they’d only had each other to rely on. She’d watched him dedicate his life to a career that had often taken him away from her for long stretches at a time. His job was dangerous. Even at five she’d realized she could lose the only person in her life, the only parent she had left, at any moment. It had instilled in her a need to make him happy whenever he had been there. A need to be different from the woman who’d yelled, complained and made their lives miserable before deserting them both. A need to be dutiful and strong and perfect where her mother had been flighty and vain and selfish.
“What I need is to figure out how to tell my husband we’re married.”
CHASE HEARD the knock on his front door. For about five seconds he entertained the hope that Sabrina would be there on the other side. He knew it was futile but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He hadn’t exactly handled things well tonight.
“There was a rumor you were back in town.” Nope, not Rina, but someone almost as good.“Jackhammer.” Slapping his best friend on the back, Chase ushered the man into his new apartment. “You want a beer?”
“Hell, no. I’m not going to drink with you. I’m mad as hell at you.” Jackson stopped in the middle of Chase’s living room, arms crossed over his barrel of a chest, glaring across the space at him.
There was a reason he’d been chosen for the Basic Cadet Training Cadre as a second class during their years at the academy. The man could be damned intimidating.
“Mad? What the hell did I do?”
“You’re alive.”
“Of course I’m alive.”
“There’s no ‘of course’ about it. Almost a year in a combat zone and I didn’t hear from you more than two or three times. I had to learn that you were back in town from one of the newbies.”
Chase fought down a wave of guilt at that. It was true. He really hadn’t kept in touch with anyone back home while he was gone. He hadn’t wanted to. What could he tell them? How unbelievably appalling war conditions could be? How he’d made decisions that had cost men and women their lives?
He hadn’t written home because there was nothing worth telling.
“Don’t take it personally, man. I barely wrote to my mother and sister either.”
His mother and sister had e-mailed him on a regular basis but…it wasn’t like they’d exactly been a close-knit group before he’d left for Iraq. His mother and sister had always been close…closer still after his parents’ divorce. They’d had a mother-daughter bond he hadn’t ever been a part of. Chase had been left with no one when his father disappeared from their lives.
So, no, they weren’t close. They were simply family.
“Cut me some slack. I’m not even settled yet. I would have called you in a few days.”
“Yeah, right.”
Marching into his kitchen, Jackson pulled a beer out of the fridge, plopped down onto the sofa and dropped his feet onto the coffee table—the two lone pieces of furniture in the entire room.
“So, how was it?”
Hell. Chase stared across at the other man. “God, it’s good to see you.”
“Now you get all mushy. You aren’t gonna cry, are you?”
“No.” Grabbing a beer of his own, Chase sat down beside his buddy. “Look, I’m sorry. I really didn’t think it would matter. I never thought you’d expect weekly reports.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jackson pulled a face before brushing the subject aside. “It doesn’t matter. So, I hear you’re a war hero.”
“Not really.”
“The air force doesn’t award the Distinguished Flying Cross for nothing. I’m getting an invitation to the ceremony, right?”
Between coming home, joining the squadron
and seeing Sabrina again, he’d almost forgotten about that mess. Or maybe it had been convenient selective memory.
He didn’t want the honor. He didn’t deserve the damn medal. Somewhere along the way the media had gotten and run with a skewed version of the events of that night that the world seemed to accept at face value. He had no idea where the misinformation had come from…not that it really mattered. People believed what they wanted to believe.
“Sure. The damn President’s coming. Why shouldn’t you?”
They should all have a huge party. Then maybe he could forget about the truth of what had really happened that night.
DONALD BLANKENSHIP STARED down at the piece of white card paper in his hand. Simple, plain, with stark black lettering and crisp precise words. He’d typed out the envelope, stamped it; now all he had to do was slide the note inside and mail it.
His eyes strayed to the picture sitting beside his desk. The picture of his little girl. Only she wasn’t little anymore. Hadn’t been for a very long time.The pigtails and tap shoes had long been replaced by an army dress uniform and ACUs. The young woman stared back, unsmiling, serious. So grown-up.
His Amy had been so excited to join the army. To serve her country just like her father had for twenty-five years in the air force. He’d been so scared to watch her go, not sure when she’d come back.
She had, finally. In a flag-covered box.
It had been easy to risk his own life in service to his country. It had been difficult to watch his only child do the same. And it had been hell when she’d come home in a casket.
His vision wavered. He fought against the weakness of tears. Amy wouldn’t want him to cry, to be sad. But he couldn’t help it. His world wasn’t right without her in it.
His attention landed back on the card in his hand. His daughter might have died serving her country, but her death wasn’t the result of enemy fire. No. They hadn’t told him his Amy had died needlessly. He’d learned that on his own. Asking the right people the right questions. She’d been alive on the battlefield. She could have—would have—survived if she’d gotten medical attention.
A soldier—an airman—was responsible for her death. Someone who’d placed their own life and the life of a senator—someone who shouldn’t have been in the middle of a damn war zone in the first place—above his daughter’s. Above everyone else’s.
And now they were giving him a medal.
The man didn’t deserve a medal. He deserved to suffer.
Just like he did every day without his Amy.
“HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.”
“Chase.” Sabrina jerked guiltily at the sound of his voice, surprise widening her eyes behind the magnifying lenses of her glasses. She’d been staring, unseeing, at her computer screen for God only knows how long. “What are you doing here?”And apparently, from his negligent stance against the side of her open office door, it looked like he’d probably been there long enough to realize she was daydreaming. Luckily, he had no idea her thoughts had centered on the kiss they’d shared last night.
Uncrossing his arms, Chase walked further into her office, circling around to stand behind her chair. He didn’t lay a hand on her body. Evidently, that wasn’t necessary in order to send a shock of awareness shooting through her. Her muscles pulled tight, as if anticipating a blow…or caress.
His breath brushed against the nape of her neck where she’d pulled the hair up and off as per regulations. For once she wished she could have left the mess down. Her heart sped up. She wanted nothing more than to get away from him before he could do more damage to her resolve.
She swiveled her chair as far out of his atmosphere as she could get without actually getting up. That would be a sign of weakness. She wasn’t about to let him know just how much he could affect her without even trying.
Rina eyed Chase over the black rim of her glasses. She only wore them when she planned to be parked in front of her computer for several hours. At the moment, she was thankful for the barrier they put between them.
In one swift motion Chase took that from her, too. With a brush of his thumb up the line of her jaw, he swiped them from her face.
“Much better.”
“I hope you didn’t come in here to flirt, Chase. I have work to do and this is going nowhere.”
Straightening away from her, he folded the earpieces into a neat pretzel and laid the glasses on the corner of her desk.
A half-formed smile played at his lips as he walked away, across her office to the bookshelf she had stowed against a wall. She had no idea why, but that look made her neck twitch and her lip want to curl into a snarl.
“No. Flirting implies fun and games. And I’m not playing with you, Sabrina.”
The intensity in his eyes made her breath stutter in her throat. She missed a necessary inhalation of oxygen, and her brain and body both seemed to falter.
There was something unsettling about having his focus centered solely on her. Chase Carden was a strong man. He attacked everything, including his flying, with a single-minded sense of confidence and control.
She suddenly felt a little hunted…and hot.
He smiled at her, a real full smile that actually touched his eyes and the uncomfortable moment was gone. “Vince said you might have some questions for me.”
“Oh.” She stared at him for several seconds. Somehow she didn’t believe the smile. It only made her more concerned.
Turning to her computer, she tapped on a few keys and pulled up the file she’d begun compiling on Chase when she’d been told she would handle the ceremony. It was sad that most everything she knew about her husband had come from the few sketchy paragraphs.
“I have the bio information you supplied with your Thunderbird application, plus some information that was forwarded from your files. I’ll print you off a copy of what I have. Feel free to fill in any gaps or make any corrections. We’ll be using the information in the program for the ceremony so let me know if there’s anything you don’t want included.”
She pushed a button and the printer at the corner of her desk began to whir.
“I’ll also be scheduling a photo session. We need an updated shot for both the Thunderbirds and for the presentation.”
They might be in the middle of the off season, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t work to be done. Several of her staff had taken leave since once they started touring it was almost impossible. The demanding schedule for the squadron was one reason officers were only allowed to serve for two years and were required to have spousal permission paperwork turned in with their application. Serving as the outward face of the air force required sacrifice from everyone, including families.
So, on top of the extra duties involved in coordinating a medal ceremony set to be attended by the President and several high-ranking members of the senate, she had to oversee the new Web site design and write updated copy, organize the logistics of the first several shows on the schedule, contact media outlets for each and prepare press releases.
Writing was her favorite part of the job—Web site copy, press releases, internal squadron newsletters—it didn’t matter, putting words to page always gave her a sense of accomplishment. And she was damn good at it. She’d received several Public Affairs Achievement Awards.
“Oh, and I’ve received a request from the Review Journal for an interview. I’m going to grant it. I’ll let you know when the appointment’s set for. My understanding is they want to interview you there but will be sending out a photographer to get some photos in the next week or so.”
The heat was fading from her body but for some unexplained reason she wasn’t ready to look at him again. Instead, she picked up the pages from her printer and began reading them.
“‘Babe Magnet.’ I bet you just loved that.”
Call signs were a funny thing. You couldn’t name yourself, not without being thought of as a self-righteous prick. The other members of your squadron assigned the moniker to you. You had no say and could give no i
nput. And usually they were insulting or derogatory. She’d seen some doozies over the years.
However, from what she understood, Chase deserved every last syllable.
“Something tells me the immature idiots who gave it to you thought they were doing you a favor.”
Chase stood against the far wall of her office, his damnably well-muscled arms crossed in front of his equally drool-worthy chest. It always amazed her how a man who spent most of his days sitting in the cockpit of a plane could have muscles like that. His dark chocolate hair was slicked back from his head. Either he’d just had a workout, shower or more likely both.
“Let’s just say that at the time I deserved it.” Gone was the playful hint of mischief he’d carried into her office with him, replaced by a serious intensity that she absolutely didn’t understand. “However, the only thing I seem to be attracting lately is sand.”
And with a single sentence he could take her from the edge of jealousy—at the thought of all the women he must have slept with to earn the title—to feeling like a heel. While she’d been preoccupied with protecting their secret, he’d been in a war zone. And had almost died.
She needed to tell him.
“There you are, man. Are you coming?” Dennis, one of the solo pilots, walked into her office. “Hey, Rina,” he said, and promptly ignored her. That was okay with her. She’d fought hard to become just one of the guys. She had a reputation as a cold, competent member of the team. It was something she’d worked hard to cultivate. Everyone seemed fine with that status quo.
Everyone but Chase. He wanted something from her she couldn’t give, not and keep that insulating facade in place. He made her think and feel things she didn’t want to think or feel, didn’t have the luxury to think and feel right now.
“Yeah. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Rina expected him to follow Dennis out. Instead, he walked across the room and spun her chair to face him.
He was tall. Of course, most anyone was tall compared to her but from this perspective, she had a stellar view of every damn plane and valley on his body. And she wanted to lick them all. Again.
Afterburn Page 5
