‘Think I’ll work on me tan,’ I say, and I roll up my sleeves like the way Ma does and start shuffling out the doorway. But as soon as the sun hits my face, I wish I’d stayed where I was, cos I don’t want to be seen and grabbed by the Authorities again. I’m never leaving the mill, not till I’m grown and have a house like Gran’s to go to.
Ma sees me. ‘Get back in there, you,’ she says in a real low voice.
‘Ah, Ma, they can’t see me, I’m invisible,’ I say, but I’m already creeping backwards.
Ma gives me this look, like she’s sucking an egg, so I move quicker. I’m back in the shadow, hidden again. But she keeps staring at me so I look at the ground and say nothing, cos she’s angry with me and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s cos I said I’m invisible. Maybe ‘invisible’ is a new Stress Word.
Some words I say, Ma tells me to shut up cos I’m stressing her out. And when Ma’s stressed it means it’s time to move on. I’ve got to go with her cos no matter what happens, I always go with Ma. Ma never leaves me behind. Except for that one time a year and eight months ago when the Authorities almost grabbed me in the alleyway. But she was real sorry after, and she promised then that we’d never sleep on the streets again and I’d never be scared again and she’d never, ever drink again. And she hasn’t.
In the Castle, Ma’s been good. And nothing stresses me out and I’m never scared. Not any more. The Castle is safe. The Authorites don’t know I’m here. And no one else can get in.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
If The Girl In Between was brought into this world with a moment’s inspiration followed by a rapid write and a flurry of publishing excitement, The Words That Fly Between Us was coaxed towards the light with tweezers, teasing out each thread one at a time. Not as much fun, but rewarding in a different kind of way. A way that proved to me that this isn’t a hobby, it’s a job. And one that couldn’t have been done without the support of two women.
Claire, my agent, without you I wouldn’t have this job. Or, possibly, my sanity. Thank you for your advice, tireless hard work, and most of all, for being there when I need you.
Lucy, you dreamboat of an editor, thank you for waiting patiently through 347 drafts until I finally figured out what you were trying to say (and, by the end, still pretending you were excited by it all . . .). You are wonderful.
During the process of writing and editing this book, our second daughter was born and we moved house. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my parents for housing us and helping out along the way, and to my sister for all the babysitting. Alan and Simon, thanks for the gold and frankincense, don’t worry too much about the myrrh next time.
I also want to thank all my Bray girls for staying friends with me despite Castle on a Cloud and all that followed for the next twenty-five years. Hickey, thanks for being so bleedin’ gorgeous, and Org, thanks for reading everything.
Mitra, thank you for hosting us and for sharing your professional insights into the subtle and insidious types of control and abusive behaviour that are highlighted in this book.
I’d thank you, Chris, but, seriously, what have you done for me lately?
My thanks to the Arts Council for supporting this work financially. That support is needed and appreciated – all the more so because this is a novel in the children’s space.
Finally, to write and be able to have a fulfilling life outside of my career, I need support, and that comes in the form of Bob, my husband. Thank you not only for believing in me, but for doing all the hard work so I can write. As for my infant and toddler daughters, you are no help whatsoever – except to remind me (on an hourly basis) of what really matters. I love you all. Now toddle off and let me write :)
First published in Great Britain in 2019 by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd
A CBS COMPANY
Copyright © 2019 Sarah Carroll
This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.
No reproduction without permission.
All rights reserved.
The right of Sarah Carroll to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act, 1988.
The Words That Fly Between Us receives financial assistance from the Arts Council.
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
PB ISBN 978-1-4711-6064-6
eBook ISBN 978-1-4711-6065-3
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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