“They’re just books, Ellis.”
Ellis snatched his hand back. “Take that back!”
“Ellis,” Anna said with a laugh.
“Anna! It’s like me telling you statistics is boring!”
“You do, at least once a day, five times a week.”
“But—”
“Let’s agree to disagree on this one, okay? I don’t expect you to start liking statistics, and you stop trying to educate me in geek stuff.”
“I get the shirt.”
Ellis turned to the side to see who was talking and froze. Anna fluttered her eyelashes at Dale. “Really?”
“Yeah. Awesome books.”
“I can’t believe all the hot ones are geeks,” Anna said with a groan.
Ellis cringed, waiting for Dale to tell her off, but he only chuckled. “You think I’m hot?”
Anna gave Dale a shocked glance. “You think I’m blind? Are you fishing for compliments?”
Dale pressed his hand over his heart. “I would never.”
“Didn’t look like it.”
The bell rang, and Ellis looked down at his half-eaten meal. He’d forgotten to eat again.
“Here.”
He looked up at Dale with surprise. “An apple?”
“You didn’t eat much.”
“Oh, well. It happens often.”
“Take the apple, then. You can eat it before English.”
Ellis hesitantly took the fruit. “Umm, thanks?”
The smile Dale gave him made his knees go wobbly. “You’re welcome. See you in class. Oh, and I love your T-shirt.”
Dale walked away, leaving a stunned Ellis holding an apple. Anna was ecstatic, of course.
“He’s so nice. Maybe you should have a crush on him instead of on Mr. Shea.”
“Why?”
“Because you’d have more possibilities of it becoming more than a crush.” Anna wiggled her brows.
Ellis snorted. “Yeah, right. At least I’m pretty sure Mr. Shea is gay. Dale had a girlfriend the last time I checked.”
Anna waved at him. “Details. Now let’s go. I have a history class to get to.”
“Lucky you.”
Anna scowled and hit Ellis’s arm before walking away. “Go on. Your boyfriend is waiting for you.”
“Hey! I don’t have a boyfriend!”
Several heads turned Ellis’s way, and he cringed. Anna was able to make him forget he shouldn’t be himself when he was at school.
He looked down and quickly moved away, wondering if Anna had meant Mr. Shea or Dale when she’d joked about the boyfriend thing.
ELLIS DIDN’T have a crush on Mr. Shea, but he couldn’t deny the man was totally his type.
He wasn’t tall, probably around five foot nine or ten, and he had a boyish appearance that made him look younger than his twenty-nine years. Yes, Ellis knew how old his teacher was, but he’d never confess how he’d found out. Or in this case, how Anna had found out.
He leaned his chin on his palm and looked toward the front of the classroom, trying not to be obvious about the way he was staring. He wanted to run his hand through those blond curls and look into those sinful brown eyes, but it stopped there. Mr. Shea was like the famous actor or singer you knew you could lust after from afar but never touch, and it was more than fine with Ellis.
“All right. I need you to pass your assignments on Fitzgerald to the person sitting in front of you, and I’ll gather them. I’ll have them back to you in about, mmm, a week or so. In the meantime, guess what? You’re going to start working on a new project.”
The students around Ellis groaned, but he didn’t mind. Maybe it meant he really was a nerd, but that was what he liked. Researching, writing… it was fun.
“Oh, come on. You’re going to love this! You even get to choose from a list and everything.”
“What’s the catch?” someone asked from the back of the class, and Mr. Shea turned his bright smile in that direction.
“Why should there be a catch?”
“Because homework isn’t fun.”
Ellis looked down at his notebook. It wasn’t like people knew what he was thinking, but it had been a little too close.
“All right, maybe there’s a catch. The project will be worth 20 percent of your final grade.”
More groans and protests rose in the classroom, but Mr. Shea waved them away. “I’m not done. As I was saying, it’ll be worth 20 percent of your final grade, and you’ll have to work in pairs. I’m going to give each pair a sheet with a list of argumentative essays to choose from. You’ll pick one and research it, and I want one person to argue in favor of the topic you choose, and the other one to argue against it. There’ll be a presentation after winter break, and you’ll have to explain your project to the class.”
Ellis knew he’d be the last one to be chosen, like it used to happen in PE. He didn’t have many friends and none of those were in his AP English class. He looked around and could already see the pairs talking.
Dale was whispering something to his best friend, and Ellis knew they’d be a pair. Not that he’d expected Dale or Seth to choose him anyway.
“I’m going to pair you. Yes, I know you’d rather choose partners yourselves, but we’d end up with the usual pairs, and the point of this assignment is for you to be exposed to different points of view and to learn how to work with someone you’re not used to working with. So, the first one I call will get up and go sit next to his or her new partner in crime.”
Only grumbles answered him, but he didn’t seem to mind or care. Ellis was relieved about the pairing thing. That way he wouldn’t have to embarrass himself by asking, only to be told no. Still, Mr. Shea’s enthusiasm was kind of tiring.
“All right, class. Novalee, you’re with James. Nick with Luke, Seth and Libby, Amy and Pete, Dale and Ellis—”
Ellis tuned out Mr. Shea’s voice and groaned. He wasn’t sure whether to be happy about being paired with Dale or not. He didn’t know Dale well—in fact, they’d probably talked more that day than in all their high school years put together.
Ellis did know it could have been worse for him. Dale was smart, and he never bullied anyone—as far as Ellis knew—so he probably wouldn’t be too bad to work with.
Dale put his bag on the desk next to Ellis’s and pushed it closer before plopping in the seat. “Hi again.”
“Hi.”
Mr. Shea was done with his pairs and was handing out sheets. Ellis took theirs and put it on his desk, making sure Dale could see it.
“All right. You have the rest of the class to go over your options. The sooner you choose one, the sooner you can start working on it, so if you do make a decision today, you can use what remains of the class to start working together. I want the partners to research and work together as much as possible. Even though you have to take opposite stances, as per the assignment, I still want you to use your partner as a sounding board of sorts. Yes, Libby?”
“What if we both have the same opinion on the topic we choose?”
“Ah, well. I still want one of you to try and convince me of the opposite.”
Ellis looked at the list. “Some of those are standard topics, like climate change, animal testing, and the Internet. Do you want one of those, or would you rather do something different?”
“Isn’t there something more interesting? No offense to the poor bunnies, but I don’t want to research that. Besides, could you really argue for animal testing?”
Ellis shook his head. “How about this one? Should the school be responsible for after-hours dances such as prom or other formals? This is our last year. It would make sense to choose it.”
“And that’s why everyone and their mother will choose it.”
“Okay, what about Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations?”
“Boring.”
Ellis huffed and slid the list toward Dale. “Why don’t you look for one, then?”
Dale grinne
d and grabbed the paper. Ellis watched as he leaned back in his chair and looked at their options. Ellis was curious about what kind of topic Dale would want to do. The fact that he didn’t want a traditional one was nice. At least their project would be different.
“Ah, this one!”
Dale slammed the list on Ellis’s desk and pressed the tip of his index finger on it.
Ellis leaned in to read: Same-sex couples should be treated the same as other couples in regards to discounts for dance tickets, meals, corsage, and any other “couple” perks.
Ellis blushed. He’d thought Dale would be nice to work with, but he’d obviously been wrong. “When you’re done making fun of me, we need to choose a real topic.”
“What?” Dale looked startled. “I’m not making fun of you.”
“Why did you choose that particular topic, then?”
“Because no one else will, and yeah, because you’re gay. I thought it would be a good idea to have your personal point of view on it.”
“Why do you think I’m gay?” Ellis had never come out, neither at school nor to his parents. The only ones who knew for sure were Anna, her boyfriend Rick, and Ellis’s best friend Matt. Ellis knew his parents suspected, but they were waiting for him to tell them.
Dale tilted his head to the side. “Why, you’re not?”
“Why do you think I am?”
“Apart from the fact that I heard you have a crush on Mr. Shea?”
Ellis blushed. “I don’t! That was all Anna, I swear!”
“Look, I don’t care who you have a crush on. I don’t have a problem with you either way, but if you are gay, then this topic makes sense.”
“Why would a straight guy care?”
“Because I think everyone should be able to be who they are. One of my cousins is gay, and I know how much it hurt him not to be able to go to prom with his boyfriend. I don’t think it’s fair. But we can choose something else if you don’t like this one.”
Dale made to take the list again, but Ellis held on to it. “No, it’s fine. I just thought you were making fun of me.”
“So you are gay?” Dale asked with a smile that told Ellis he wasn’t disgusted or angry at the idea.
“I, well. Yeah, I guess I am.”
Dale cocked a brow. “You guess?”
“Well, I never actually, you know. But yeah, I’m, I—”
“You know you prefer guys even if you’ve never actually done anything with one.”
Ellis looked around the classroom, but everyone was concentrating on their own list, not paying attention to Ellis and Dale. Ellis hoped Dale wouldn’t use what he was saying against him, but it felt so damn good to tell someone. “Who said I’ve never done anything?” Ellis blurted out before he could stop himself. He snapped his mouth shut and hurriedly changed topic. “Who’s going to argue against it? From what you said, you’re in favor.”
Dale shrugged. “Whoever you want. I don’t mind doing it.”
“Okay. Can I think about it?” Ellis knew he’d basically out himself if they did choose that topic. He wasn’t stupid—he knew most of the school thought he was gay, but no one knew for sure. This would change things, though, and he didn’t know if it would end up being a good or a bad thing. He just had to decide if he had the guts to do it.
“Sure. Why don’t we meet in the library tomorrow? Do you have time?”
“Don’t you have practice on Saturdays?”
Dale smirked. “Oh, you know when I have practice?”
“No, I—everyone knows when the soccer team has practice!”
“I was teasing you, Ellis. No, I don’t have practice tomorrow.”
“Okay, fine. The library, tomorrow.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Chapter Two
ELLIS CLICKED the Submit button and leaned back in his chair as he waited for the last chapter of his fan fiction to appear on the website. He rubbed at his nose piercing, wondering if he should change the stud. He liked the tiny fake diamond he had in right now, but it wasn’t very noticeable.
“Ellis! Ten minutes to dinner!”
“Coming!”
He left his computer on and went to wash his hands before trudging down the stairs. One of his brothers was already in the kitchen, helping their mother set the table.
“Hey, squirt.”
Ellis groaned. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not?” Damien ruffled Ellis’s hair, and Ellis stepped away. He tried to press his hair down again, but he wasn’t sure he’d succeeded.
“Because I’m not ten anymore.”
“Oh, so now you’re too old to be my little brother?”
“No, just to be called squirt.” Ellis smiled. It was nice to have his brother home. Most of the time anyway. “What are you doing here?”
“If I have to choose between the cafeteria’s food and Mom’s, you know which one I’ll pick.”
Ellis grabbed the napkins. “Is Dad going to make it?”
“Yeah, he’s already in the shower.”
Ellis’s family was the perfect American dream. His dad was a mechanic, his mom a nurse. Connor, the eldest brother, had finished college and now worked as a web designer. Damien, the middle brother, was still in college and on his way to becoming a lawyer. Ellis was the only one who didn’t fit.
Not only did he want to become an author, even if it would be next to impossible to actually make a living from it, but most importantly, he was gay. He felt as if he were lying to his family by not telling them, but he wasn’t ready to come out. He was afraid they’d look at him differently once they were certain of it.
“Did you two wash your hands?”
Ellis looked at his mom. “Of course. We’re not three anymore, you know.” He looked at his brother for confirmation, but Damien was making a show of ignoring him. Ellis wasn’t the only one who noticed.
“Damien, go wash your hands. I swear, I don’t know what to do with you!” she scolded him.
Damien shuffled out of the room as Mom smiled at Ellis. “You’re not three anymore, huh?”
Ellis smiled. “I think he does it on purpose.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”
Steps sounded in the hallway, and Ellis’s dad came in the kitchen. His hair was still wet and he was already wearing his Star Wars pajamas. Ellis’s mom looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Sometimes it feels like Ellis is the oldest in this house.”
“Does that include you, love?”
Ellis turned away when his dad kissed his mom. He was glad to see they still loved each other after more than thirty years together, but he didn’t particularly want a visual proof.
“Come on, boys. Dinner’s ready! Damien, get your ass in here!”
Damien appeared just as his mom placed his plate in front of his chair. He grabbed his fork and started shoveling food in his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten in a week. Ellis sat to his brother’s left, across from his mom’s chair, and she put a plate full of steaming lasagna before him.
Damien, overly dramatic like always, was moaning over the food. “Mom, this is the best lasagna you’ve ever made.”
“You say that every time,” Ellis pointed out.
Damien stuck his tongue out, and Ellis cringed at the sight of what was in his brother’s mouth. Maybe his mom wasn’t wrong when she said Damien had stopped growing up mentally once he’d reached ten years old.
“I swear it’s true this time. I love eating here when you’re not on the night shift. It’s so much better than the stuff Dad whips up.” Damien shuddered, but it didn’t stop him from shoving more lasagna in his mouth.
“Hey, I resent that! I’m not that bad.”
“Uh, Dad, the last time you tried to cook something that wasn’t a prepackaged meal, not even the cat wanted it,” Ellis said, earning himself a scowl from his father.
“Oh,” Damien added, “and there was the time he—”
“Okay, okay, we get it. T
here’s no need to rub it in.”
Mom patted Dad’s arm and looked at Damien. “So, boys. Tell me about your day.”
Damien and Ellis groaned at the recurring question. It popped out every night, and they had to answer. If they didn’t, their mom would come in their room after dinner and camp on their bed until they did.
“Everything was fine,” Damien answered.
“Did you hear that?” Mom asked no one in particular. “I carried you for nine months, raised you for twenty years, and the only thing I get is ‘everything was fine.’” She looked at Ellis. “Come on, favorite son of mine, apple of my eye, light of my life. Tell me how your day was.”
Ellis couldn’t help but smile, especially when his brother cried out indignantly, “Hey, you told me I was your favorite only fifteen minutes ago!”
“That was because I needed someone to set the table for me.”
They continued to bicker, and it was obvious Damien had inherited his love for drama from their mom, while Ellis was more like their dad—quiet and often withdrawn. Ellis didn’t mind. It felt good to have his family around him, even though he didn’t participate too much. He hoped he’d still have it, that they’d still be there for one another, after Ellis dropped the bomb on them.
“MAKE SURE she eats something, okay?”
“Yes, I know, Mom. Don’t worry, I won’t let Alicia starve.”
Dale had heard the same words over and over again, and he was answering almost automatically.
He stuck his tongue out at his eight-year-old sister and made her giggle before turning back to the pot of boiling water, his cell phone stuck between his shoulder and his ear as he listened to his mom.
“She has to go to bed early.”
“Yes, eight, and she’ll be in her bed. Mom, I’ve been doing this for the past year. I know how it works. Look, the water’s boiling, and Alicia still hasn’t finished her math homework.”
“Of course. I’m sorry, Dale. I just—”
“Don’t worry about it. I understand.”
And he did. Dale’s mom had been working extra hard since the divorce a year and a half before. It had been hard on her, and she needed all the help he could give her. Dale’s dad wasn’t a bad guy, but he had his own problems.
A Good Enough Reason Page 2
