“We’ve been there so many times they should give us a family discount,” Ellis’s mother said.
“So, soccer?” his dad asked, effectively changing the topic.
Connor was snickering toward his plate while Damien pouted, and Dale looked a bit bewildered. “Umm, yeah. Soccer. What do you want to know?”
“What role do you play in?”
“I’m a forward.”
“You’re the one who scores.”
Dale chuckled. “Hopefully. Hey, why don’t you all come to my next game?”
“When is it?”
“Ah, well, it’s on a Tuesday, but the one after that is on Saturday afternoon.”
Ellis’s dad smiled “I’ll see if I can make it. Should be interesting.”
“Don’t expect me to be there. I don’t see the point of having boys running after a ball just to kick it around,” Ellis’s mother added. “But Ellis should go to the Tuesday one.”
All eyes went to Ellis, and he tried to make himself smaller in his chair, to no avail. “Ah, well. I don’t really like sports, you know.”
“Nonsense. I’m not asking you to play, just to go there to support a friend. When does it start, Dale?”
“Four, ma’am.” Ellis’s mother narrowed her eyes, and Dale corrected himself hurriedly. “Sorry. Sarah.”
“Did you have something else planned, El?”
Dammit! She knew he had nothing, of course, and that he was going to have to say yes.
“Come on!” Dale exclaimed. “It’ll be fun. We can go celebrate after it.”
“So sure to win?”
“Of course. I’m that good,” Dale said with a grin.
Ellis wanted to say no, because he thought very much the same as his mom. He also knew Dale would probably be too busy celebrating with Stephanie and his other friends to be with him, but the hopeful glint in Dale’s eyes made saying no impossible.
Ellis nodded. “Okay, sure. I’ll come. But you better win.”
Chapter Seven
“YOU’RE GOING to what?”
Ellis shushed Anna. “To see Dale’s next game.”
“But… it’s soccer. Sports.”
“I know, but thanks for checking and thinking I was stupid. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Anna slapped Ellis’s arm and lugged her bag higher on her shoulder. “No need to be sarcastic. You know what I mean, El. You don’t like sports. You don’t like baseball or football, and have you even ever seen a soccer game?”
“Ah, no, but I looked up the rules.”
“You looked up the rules.” Anna shook her head. “You know, I never understood why you don’t like sports. They’re fun to watch for the most part, and you get to ogle all the hot men.”
“They run after a ball, like dogs. Yeah, incredibly fun.”
“Why are you going to watch Dale, then?”
They walked into the classroom for their study hall hours and sat next to each other. The room wasn’t full, thank God, so Ellis didn’t have to worry too much about Anna getting overworked and yelling. “Because Dale asked me to go.”
“Do you do everything Dale asks you to do?”
Ellis’s mind flashed to the movie they should have seen when Dale had come over to his house. They’d ended up watching the first Transformers movie instead. Explosions and giant robots were safer than porn. Definitely safer. “No, but why shouldn’t I go?” He asked. “And it’s not like it’s costing me anything but some of my free time.”
Anna looked at Ellis, her head tilted to the side as she tried to read him. Ellis prayed she didn’t, but he could already tell he’d been caught. She had that glint in her eyes, the one she got when she sniffed out a secret. She’d had the glint when she’d found out who Lucy Redmont had a crush on and when she’d discovered why Alec had been suspended for a week before everyone else. It was scary. She was scary.
“Nuh-uh. I don’t want to talk about it, not now, and not ever.”
“But, El,” Anna whined.” You can’t cut me out, not when I know you have a secret.”
“Is that all I am to you? A juicy secret?”
“No, but I know you’ve been hiding something for a while, and I know Dale has something to do with it. It’s like… oh.”
“Oh?” Please, tell me she hasn’t figured it out. Ellis slapped a hand over Anna’s mouth when she opened it to answer.
“Not right now.” Not that he really thought he would be able to keep her quiet. But hope was the last thing to die, right? Still, he looked around again, relieved to see no one was paying attention to them.
One. Two. Three.
“You like him. You like, like him,” she said in a hiss.
“What are we, twelve?”
“Ellis!”
“How’d you come to that conclusion anyway?”
“Oh, come on. It’s kind of obvious now that I think about it. You’re even going to watch him play soccer!”
“We’re friends, Anna.”
“You’ve never come to one of Rick’s swimming competitions,” she pointed out.
Ellis knew denying it wouldn’t change her mind, not now. She was worse than a dog on a bone once she got her teeth into something.
“Fine. I might have a tiny crush on him. Can you blame me, though? He’s gorgeous, nice, sweet, and we have so much in common.” Ellis sighed. Saying it aloud brought everything to the front of his mind, including the fact he’d never have Dale. Never.
“I like him, El, but I don’t want you to be hurt.”
Ellis could see the concern in his best friend’s eyes. “Yeah, I know. It’s not like I decided to… to crush on him. It just happened. It doesn’t matter. He’s not the first guy I’ve had an unrequited crush on, and he probably won’t be the last. It’ll pass. It always does.”
“El—”
“No, Anna. No. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. It’s only for another six months anyway, then we’ll be headed to college, and I won’t ever see him again.”
If only Ellis believed it were so easy.
THE EARLIER conversation had left Ellis angsty, so he shook his head when Anna asked him if he wanted a lift home, and sent her and Rick on their way. Ellis didn’t live far from school, and he needed the walk to clear his head, to let out the heavy feeling he’d had since his chat with Anna. Hopefully a walk would be enough, but he wasn’t expecting a miracle.
“Hey, cock-breath! Did your boyfriend break up with you?” Laughs followed the question, and Ellis clenched his fists at his side. He wouldn’t answer. Really, he wouldn’t.
“I’m talking to you, asshole.”
Ellis took a deep breath and looked at Mark. Nope, not going to answer.
He turned around to leave the school’s parking lot. Steps pounded behind him, and he braced himself for what he knew was coming. Sure enough, someone pushed him, and he stumbled. A hand grabbed his arm, so hard it was painful, and used that hold to twirl Ellis around. It took all Ellis had not to stumble against Mark’s chest.
“Where’s your boyfriend, huh?”
“I don’t have one. Why are you so interested anyway? Are you hiding something?” Dammit! Ellis hated losing control of his mouth-brain filter!
Mark’s nostrils quivered in anger. “What the fuck did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“You want a black eye, huh?”
“Umm, Mark, we’re gonna be late to practice.”
Ellis looked around Mark at the group of guys standing not far behind. They were all on the football team, of course, and of course not one of them made a move to help Ellis. He could only hope they wouldn’t want in on the beating he was about to get.
“Yeah, you know how Coach is. We can’t be late.” They looked nervous, and more than one of them was avoiding looking at Ellis. Maybe some of them did have a conscience after all, but it obviously wasn’t strong enough to actually make them help.
Mark sneered, and his hand tightened around Ellis’s arm. It hurt, but Ellis bit
his lower lip and held on. He didn’t want Mark to know how much it hurt, though Ellis suspected it would leave a bruise.
“What’s going on here?”
Mark’s hand was suddenly gone, and Ellis tumbled forward. He put his hands up to stop the fall and ended up right in Mark’s arms. Mark growled and pushed him away, and Ellis fell backward. He landed on his ass and hands. “Oww.”
“I’m waiting for an explanation, boys.”
Ellis looked at Mr. Snyder. He wasn’t about to rat Mark out, even though he knew he should. Not that Mr. Snyder would be the right person to tell about Mark’s bullying anyway. If anything, he’d probably help Mark rather than Ellis, and Ellis couldn’t afford to get on the bad side of a teacher, no matter which one. At least he didn’t have European History this year.
“He fell, Mr. Snyder.”
“I saw that. What are you all doing here? Don’t you have somewhere to be?” The man clearly wanted them out of his hair, and Ellis didn’t mind one bit.
“We were heading to practice, and we saw Ellis, so we stopped to chat.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Well, go to practice, then, and stop loitering around. Mr. Aylmer, are you going to practice too?”
One of the guys in Mark’s group snorted. Mr. Snyder looked at them, but he couldn’t tell who it’d been.
Ellis scrambled to his feet while the man was distracted, and avoided looking at Mark and his friends more than necessary. He could hear them laughing as they walked away.
“Still here, Mr. Aylmer?”
“I’m going, sir. Good-bye.”
Ellis didn’t wait for an answer and walked away as fast as he could without breaking into a run. His arm throbbed where Mark had held him, and his palms stung. He’d held them backward when he fell, and they were scraped and a bit bloody.
Once he was sure he was out of Mr. Snyder’s sight, Ellis ran. He needed to put as much distance as possible between Mark and himself, but it wouldn’t be enough. It never was, not when he had to go back to school and face him again the next day.
A drop landed on Ellis’s cheek, and he swept his hand against it. He was surprised by the dampness on his face and unsure whether it was there because of the light rain or because of the tears he was crying.
His hands pulsed, and his arm hurt every time he moved it, reminding him how weak he was. Ellis couldn’t stand up to Mark. He wasn’t able to, not without help. How could he tell anyone, though? How could he be the one snitch in school?
Ellis’s feet followed the familiar path home, and he realized he’d arrived only once he was standing right in front of the door. After sliding his backpack off his shoulder, he rooted in it to find his keys, hissing at the pain that shot through his hands.
He didn’t stop to check if anyone was home. He ran up the stairs as soon as the front door closed behind him and let his bag fall, uncaring of where it landed.
Ellis threw himself on his bed and hugged his pillow. He let the soft fabric absorb his cries and his tears until both dried up.
He took a deep breath, then another, and another, until he felt strong enough to be able to stand up. It wasn’t easy pulling himself together again, but there was no one who could do it for him. Ellis wasn’t even sure he’d have let someone help him. It was stupid, but he didn’t want to be pitied, by anyone.
He bit his lower lip against the pain when he forgot the state his hands were in and used them to push himself up. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, Ellis looked at his hands.
There were gashes on both of them because of the asphalt he’d fallen on. Dirt and tiny pebbles were embedded in dried blood. The skin felt tight around the wounds, but they were scratches. Painful but not too bad.
He rose from his bed and carefully took off his jacket and the sweater under it. Once he was dressed only in his T-shirt and jeans, Ellis looked at his upper arm. The skin was already starting to color, and he knew he was going to have a hand-shaped bruise there. At least it wasn’t summer, and if he were careful not to be only in a T-shirt at home, no one would see it.
Ellis toed his shoes off, then headed to the bathroom. He avoided the mirror, knowing all too well what he looked like after a good cry. He washed his hands and face, wincing the entire time, then took care of the wounds on his palms.
When his father got home, Ellis was peacefully doing his homework, and no one noticed anything was wrong with him. His father certainly didn’t.
ELLIS KEPT his eyes on Dale as Dale ran toward the goal. They were losing, one to nothing, and the team needed him to score.
Soccer was both exactly what Ellis had imagined it would be and completely different. Yeah, it was only a bunch of guys running after a ball, but watching Dale play made up for the boredom Ellis felt. He didn’t care much about who caught the ball and who scored, so he concentrated on Dale.
Dale played and ran like it was the best thing in the world, almost never stopping, not even to rest a bit. His face was flushed, he was sweaty, yet he’d never looked so handsome and alive. It was the passion that did it.
Even at a distance, Ellis could see how happy Dale was to be running up and down the field. It was in the way he yelled at his teammates, in how he kept his eyes on the ball, how he was always ready to move when he needed to.
Ellis recognized that passion. It was how he felt about his writing.
Someone slumped on the bench next to him, and he looked sideways. “What are you doing here?”
Anna looked at him. “Supporting our team.”
“You don’t watch soccer.”
“Now I do. Dale’s kind of my friend, after all.”
“Kind of?”
“Yeah. Now watch the game and explain what’s happening.”
“Our team is losing by one goal.”
“What are they doing?”
Ellis scrambled for his phone in the inside pocket of his jacket. He checked the Soccer for Dummies book he’d downloaded earlier. “It’s called a corner.” Anna gave him a well, duh look, and he continued. “It means Seth is going to kick the ball toward our players in front of the goal, and they’re going to try to get the ball in.”
“Oh. And why are they doing this?”
Ellis shrugged. “No idea.”
“I thought you looked the rules up.”
“I did. It doesn’t mean I remember them well.”
It didn’t stop Ellis from holding his breath when Seth kicked the ball. It soared toward the players in front the goal and came down. Dale jumped but missed, and Ellis lost sight of it for a moment. The people around him were going crazy, yelling and cheering, making the bench vibrate under Ellis’s ass.
He saw Dale push through the throng and move toward the goal just as another teammate kicked the ball his way. Ellis held his breath and leaned forward in his seat, muttering, “Come on, come on, come on!”
Dale shifted as soon as the ball got to him and kicked it. The goalie jumped and tried to stop it, but it was too late. It soared next to the goalie’s head and hit the back of the goal.
Ellis jumped from his seat, along with most of the other spectators. “Yes! Yes! He did it, Anna! He scored! Did you see that?”
Anna laughed. “Yeah, I saw.”
“It means they only need one more goal to win!”
“I know, El. I can count.”
Ellis huffed and sat back down. He crossed his arms over his chest and scowled at his best friend. “I thought you wanted me to be more interested in sports?”
“In sports, not in the players.”
“Anna!”
“Ellis!”
The players on the grass were already done celebrating the goal, and the ball was rolling again. It got pretty boring after that. Ellis spent a lot of time Dale-watching while Anna talked his ear off.
“What did you do to your hands?”
Ellis looked away from the field. “Huh?”
“Your hands?” Anna pointed at the healing scabs on Ell
is’s palms.
“Oh, I, uh, I fell. While I was walking home the other day.”
It wasn’t like Mr. Snyder or Mark were going to tell her what had really happened, and Ellis wasn’t up for another scolding on how he should talk with a teacher. Mr. Snyder was a teacher, albeit a very boring one, and he hadn’t said anything to Mark. If that was the help telling a teacher would bring him, he’d rather keep his mouth shut, thank you very much.
Anna opened her mouth, probably to scold Ellis anyway. Sometimes she was worse than his mom. Yells interrupted her before she could start, and everyone rose from their seats again. Ellis followed their lead and looked at the field.
Dale had the ball and was running toward the goal. Two players from the other team were rounding up in front of him, and it was obvious he wouldn’t get anywhere near the goal.
He didn’t even try. Dale shot the ball to the side instead. The closest teammate caught it and took advantage of the free space in front of him. He kicked the ball high. Ellis briefly thought it would be too high, but it only grazed the top goalpost, passing under it.
The supporters’ cheers exploded around Ellis. He was clapping and smiling like a loon. Even Anna was cheering, although she was still sitting down. “We won, right?”
Ellis looked at his watch. “If our goalie manages to keep the ball out of his net for the next ten minutes, yeah.”
Ellis felt like he held his breath for those entire ten minutes. At the end of it, the referee blew his whistle, and cheers resounded around him as people started celebrating.
“Do you need a ride home?”
Ellis shook his head. “I’m going to hang around until Dale comes out of the locker room to tell him I watched. I’ll walk home.”
“Call me if you need me to pick you up.”
Ellis kissed Anna’s cheek. “You worry too much. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She patted his cheek. “Yeah, okay.”
Ellis watched her walk away, then made his way to the back door leading to the locker rooms. There was already a small gathering of parents and other assorted people waiting, so Ellis neared the closest wall and leaned against it. He saw Stephanie and one of her friends, but he stayed away. They weren’t friends. They probably never would be, not with Ellis as jealous as he was of her.
A Good Enough Reason Page 11
