Ellis leaned forward, wondering if he should kiss Dale, at the same time Dale leaned toward him. They banged together with a little too much force.
“Ow,” Ellis said, rubbing his nose.
Dale chuckled. “I wonder why this is so awkward.”
“It’s the first-date tension, boys,” Ellis’s mom said from the couch. “Just try to forget it’s a date, and you’ll be fine.”
“Hey, Mrs. Aylmer.”
“Good evening, Dale. I want him home by midnight.”
“Mom!”
“Fine, by one. No later.”
Dale looked at Ellis and leaned forward again. This time Ellis stayed right where he was, because he wasn’t about to go on their nondate without kissing his boyfriend first. They wouldn’t be able to do that while they were out, so he wanted to take advantage now.
Dale pressed their lips together while they both tried to ignore the fact that Ellis’s mom was sitting only feet away watching TV.
Ellis smiled against Dale’s lips and moved away. “We’re going, Mom.”
She waved without even looking away from the TV. “Have fun, and use protection if you have sex.”
“Mom!”
Ellis cheeks heated. Dale laughed and dragged him outside by the arm. He let go as soon as they were out the door, but the warmth of Dale’s hand lingered on Ellis’s arm, and they stayed close to each other.
“I’m sorry,” Ellis said.
“For what?”
“For my mom. That was embarrassing.”
“I don’t mind.” Ellis arched a brow in disbelief, and Dale added, “Okay, so it was embarrassing, but she’s looking out for you.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Dale drove them to the theater, and they decided to watch an action movie. They paid for their own tickets, of course, and Dale bought a giant bucket of popcorn while Ellis got them two sodas.
Ellis knew he kept looking at Dale, but he couldn’t stop himself. Not that Dale seemed to mind. The few times he’d caught Ellis doing it, he’d smiled or even winked at him.
They sat at the back. It wasn’t filled, thankfully, and they had the last row all to themselves. Their hands brushed against each other every time they took some popcorn from the bucket, and it made concentrating on the movie hard for Ellis.
Once he’d had enough popcorn, he folded his arms over his chest, then uncrossed them and put them on his lap, only to put his elbow on the armrest. Yeah, he was really nervous.
Dale chuckled beside him, and Ellis peeked sideways. Dale put the bucket on the seat on his free side, then reached for Ellis’s hand. He took it in his and smiled before kissing Ellis. He kept the kiss light and brief, but Ellis ended up feeling both even more nervous and calmer after it.
Still, he managed to watch the entire movie, although he was fairly distracted by the way Dale stroked his knuckles with his thumb.
Dale let go of Ellis’s hand as soon as the movie ended and the credits started rolling. He didn’t look overly happy to do it, but Ellis shrugged. “It’s okay.”
“I wish….”
“I know. Me too.”
They’d been together for only a week, and Ellis had already thought about coming out at school more than once. He didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t touch Dale like he wanted because someone they didn’t even know might take offense. They couldn’t even hold hands.
But Ellis wasn’t ready yet. He was scared.
They left the theater and hovered briefly close to the entrance. It was full of groups of teens, both younger and older than them, and Ellis couldn’t help but wonder if someone would recognize them. What if they thought it was weird for them to go out together? Would they spread rumors? Or would they think it was normal for two friends to see a movie together?
“Do you want to go eat something?”
“Yeah.”
Dale smiled and started walking away. Ellis hurried by his side, their hands brushing against each other between them, and they exchanged more than one secret smile as they neared the diner.
“This okay?” Dale asked.
“Perfect. Who doesn’t like a good burger?”
They chatted about school, their families, and their friends over their burgers and fries. No one disturbed them, and by the time they left, Ellis was over the moon. The fact that they couldn’t touch still bothered him, but he felt like it mattered less. He and Dale had spent time together, just the two of them, and it made him feel closer to his boyfriend.
Dale looked at his watch and groaned. “I should take you home. My mother is still weird about this, so I don’t want to get back home too late.”
Ellis bit his lower lip. “Did she say anything?”
“No. She just looks at me like I disappointed her.”
Ellis’s heart broke over the desperate tone of Dale’s voice. “Maybe you did, but it’s not your fault. A parent shouldn’t be disappointed when a child wants to be himself.”
Dale looked at Ellis and gave him a small smile. “You’re smart.”
Ellis chuckled. “Thanks.”
Once in the car, Dale caught Ellis’s hand and put it on his own thigh, then started the car. Ellis didn’t move his hand away. If Dale was comfortable with touching, he wasn’t about to protest.
“So, how was it?” Dale asked.
“How was what?”
“Our first date.”
Ellis leaned his head against the seat. “It was nice. Not that I have anything to compare it to, of course, but it was nearly as good as I’d imagined.”
“Nearly?”
Ellis squeezed his boyfriend’s thigh. “Yeah. The fact that I couldn’t touch you when I wanted bugged me a bit.”
“Me too. I wish we could just be a couple. A normal couple.”
“I know it’s basically my fault if we’re not, so—”
“It’s not your fault. You’re not ready to come out to everyone, and I respect that. There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“I’ll try.”
Dale briefly looked at Ellis and smiled. “You do that.”
He parked in front of Ellis’s house. Ellis looked through the window and sighed happily when he saw all the lights were already off. “Looks like my mom isn’t waiting for me.” She’d left the light over the front door on for him, though.
“Does that mean I can keep you to myself for a little while longer?” Dale asked with hope in his voice.
Ellis smiled. “Depends. What are you planning to do with that time?”
Dale reached out and grabbed Ellis’s nape. He tugged Ellis closer and pressed their lips together. “Everything I’ve wanted to do while we were out.” He kissed Ellis again. “I want to kiss you.” Another kiss and Dale’s hand landed on Ellis’s hip. “And touch you as much as you’ll let me.”
Things got quiet after that. Dale kept his lips on Ellis’s, but he moved his hand. First he slid it toward Ellis’s chest, hesitating when he reached Ellis’s nipple. He apparently decided he shouldn’t touch it, so he moved it downward and around Ellis, but it ended on top of Ellis’s ass, and Dale snatched it back as if it were on fire.
Ellis laughed. “You can touch me, you know.”
Dale moved away just a bit. “I don’t want to assume. I mean, with girls, you know, they don’t want to be touched there,” he said, gesturing at Ellis’s chest, “or on the ass, at least not on a first date. Especially not on a first date.”
Ellis kissed his boyfriend’s cheek and leaned back against his seat. “Well, I’m not a girl, and I don’t mind. I’m not saying we should have, you know, sex, right away, but I don’t mind if you touch me. Over the clothes. For now anyway. God, this is becoming awkward.”
Dale laughed. “Yeah. So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I have to do my homework in the morning, but we can go out in the afternoon if you want.”
“That’ll be great. I’ll text you tomorrow morning, then.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
> They looked at each other, and Ellis reached for Dale. He kissed his boyfriend one last time before opening the door and getting out. Dale followed him and walked him to his front door.
“I feel like a girl right now.”
“Why? Because I’m walking you to your door?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m doing it only because I want a last kiss, and it’s comfier standing up than sitting in the car.”
Dale wrapped his arms around Ellis’s waist and pulled him closer. Ellis looked around, worrying someone could see them, but the street was dark, and there was no one around. “One last kiss?”
Dale smiled against Ellis’s mouth. “Yeah, one last kiss.”
Chapter Thirteen
“I HATE math.”
Dale looked up from his mac and cheese and smiled at his boyfriend. He wanted to kiss Ellis, but they were in the school’s cafeteria, and it was lunchtime, so it was a big no. “Why?”
“Because it’s hard! I’m not going to use it once I graduate anyway, so why should I learn about X, Y, and their friends?”
Ellis slumped into the chair in front of Dale.
“Are you going to eat?”
“Of course I am. I just need to think about something that’s not a number before I get up the courage to go stand in the line.”
Dale chuckled and shook his head. “You’re so dramatic, El.”
“That’s why you love me,” Ellis answered with a grin before realizing what he’d said. His eyes went wide. “You know what I mean. Not love, but, you know.”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”
“Not that I don’t like you or anything but, yeah.”
“El, don’t worry. I know you didn’t mean it.”
Ellis chewed on his lower lip and looked like he wanted to protest, but like Dale, he knew it was neither a good place nor a good time to do that. He nodded and made to stand up, but his eyebrows rose on his forehead as he looked at something behind Dale.
DALE TURNED around to see what it was and saw Stephanie striding toward them, the expression on her face thunderous. Dale stood up and heard Ellis’s chair scrape on the floor as he did the same.
“Hey, Steph, what—”
Stephanie slapped Dale.
She didn’t put much force behind it, but it still hurt, and the sound of hand against cheek was loud in Dale’s ears.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Stephanie hissed.
Dale touched his cheek and winced at the pain. “Tell you what?”
Her eyes slid to something behind Dale, and Dale’s stomach plummeted.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“Can we do this somewhere else?” Dale asked. He was aware the room was almost completely silent around them. Most of the kids in the cafeteria were looking at them and whispering to their friends, and it was the last place Dale wanted to be outed.
Stephanie’s lower lip trembled as she nodded, and Dale suddenly felt like shit. It had been so easy to forget about her after he’d broken up with her. He’d been concentrating on Ellis and their relationship, and he hadn’t thought about Stephanie twice.
“Go. I’ll take your bag if you’re not back when the bell rings,” Ellis said.
Dale turned and smiled gratefully at his boyfriend. “Okay, thanks.”
“You’re going to be okay?”
Ellis was worried, but Dale reassured him. “Yeah, don’t worry.”
“Okay, right.”
Dale was more than aware Stephanie was still behind him, probably watching the interaction between Dale and Ellis. He gave Ellis an apologetic smile and made to turn around, but Ellis grabbed his arm. Dale stopped and looked at his boyfriend again.
Ellis bit on his lower lip and said, “If she decides to tell, it’s fine with me.”
“She won’t.”
“If you say so. But if she does, you know. It’s fine.”
“Okay. I’m going now.”
Dale was pretty sure the people around them were avidly listening to every word they exchanged and already making up stories about what had happened.
He turned and looked at Stephanie. “Is the music room okay? It should be empty right now.”
“Yes.”
Dale led the way outside the cafeteria and along the hallways. No one looked at them twice now that they’d left the cafeteria, and Dale felt a tiny bit more relaxed.
They reached the music room, and Dale checked it was empty before walking to the middle of the room and turning around to face Stephanie. “Did you really have to slap me in front of half the school?” It throbbed and felt warm, and Dale was ready to bet he was sporting a nice handprint.
“Did you cheat on me?”
“What? No! Who told you that?”
“I saw you with Ellis Friday night.”
Dale frantically tried to remember if they’d kissed or touched in public, but they’d been careful. “What did you see?”
“You were holding his hand. In the theater.”
Dale gulped. “How did you see it? It was dark.”
“I was watching the same movie as you. I went to the bathroom during the movie. I saw you, in the last row.”
“I never planned to cheat on you, Steph. I swear. Me and Ellis only kissed before I broke up with you.”
“But you didn’t tell me you’re gay. Were you using me? Like, to make sure no one would find out?”
“I’m not gay, I’m bisexual. I really liked you, Steph, or I wouldn’t have stayed with you for so long.”
“But you like Ellis more.”
“Well, yeah. I tried not to, you know… get with him. I didn’t want to be different, to have to hide. But it became too much, and I decided to do the right thing. It would’ve been so easy for me to continue being with you and start something with him too.”
Stephanie rubbed a hand on her face and wiped the black mascara smudges under her eyes. “I know. I know you’re not the kind of guy who’d do that. I just wasn’t expecting it. It would’ve hurt seeing you with another girl too, but seeing you with a guy…. It was weird, and I was angry because you lied to me.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you because I never planned to start anything with a guy. I’ve never done anything with a guy, except for Ellis now, and I didn’t think I would, even though I, you know, like them.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slapped you, especially not in front of half the school.”
Dale chuckled and touched his cheek. “Yeah. I bet they’re all wondering why you did it. I’m sure that by last period everyone will think I cheated on you with ten different girls or something.”
Stephanie grimaced. “I’d try to set people straight, but you know how it is.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll pass soon enough anyway. So, are you going to tell anyone?”
“No,” Stephanie said indignantly. “Do you really think I would tell anyone?”
“I had to make sure. Ellis wants to keep it a secret, at least for now.”
“What about you? What do you want?”
Dale shook his head. “Don’t know. It’s easier this way.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
They stared at each other for a few moments, and then Stephanie smiled. It wasn’t a full smile, but it was better than the angry expression from before. “I don’t know him, but he looks like a nice guy.”
“Yeah. He is.”
“I’m happy for you. And I’m sorry about the slap.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m going to go.”
“Yeah.”
“So, see you around.”
Stephanie turned around and went to the door. She gave Dale one last smile before exiting the room and closing the door.
Dale sighed. It had gone well, considering the situation. He just wished he hadn’t been slapped, because it stung like a bitch.
DALE MADE sure his bedroom door was locked and sat at his desk. He tapped his fingers on it and st
ared at the open browser page on his computer screen.
He and Ellis hadn’t talked about sex—yet—but he hoped they’d get there sooner or later, and he needed to know what to do. Not that he didn’t know, of course. Dale had watched plenty of gay porn since he’d realized he liked guys as much as he liked girls, but Ellis wasn’t a porn star.
Dale wanted to know exactly what he could or couldn’t do to make his boyfriend feel good when the time came. Besides, between the two of them, it was Ellis who had the most experience with guys, and Dale didn’t want to be left behind.
He clicked on his keyboard and researched gay sex. Thousands of results popped up, and Dale looked for the less porny ones. He also avoided the dry, scientific ones, because he didn’t want to read about penises and anuses.
It didn’t take him long to find a page he kind of liked, and as expected, he didn’t learn anything new, except for exactly where the prostate was. He briefly wondered how it felt to have it touched but decided he wasn’t quite ready for that.
The thought made him stop and actually think. Since he and Ellis hadn’t talked about sex yet, Dale couldn’t know for sure Ellis was okay with bottoming. For all he knew, Ellis expected Dale to be on the receiving side, and that idea frightened him.
He wasn’t sure he was ready for that, but then maybe neither was Ellis. Thinking about himself in that position felt weird, though. Maybe it was because with girls, Dale was obviously the one doing the penetrating part. It looked like a vulnerable position, and he understood why Ellis had waited to do it.
Maybe Dale should try to experiment on his own. He didn’t expect Ellis to do anything Dale wouldn’t do after all.
“Dale?”
Dale quickly closed his browser when his father knocked on the door. He was spending the week at his house because things with his mom were still tense, and Dale couldn’t stand it anymore. He was eighteen anyway, so she couldn’t stop him even if he decided to move in with his father. “Yes?”
“Can I come in?”
A Good Enough Reason Page 18
