Heart's Duo (Ugly Eternity #4)

by Charity Parkerson

  Hawke’s mouth lifted in one corner. “Take me to bed so I can go down on you like a proper husband would.” With Hawke’s promise of pleasure hanging in the air between them, Jamie recaptured his lips, sucking and licking away his flavor lingering there.

  “Whoa. So sorry guys,” Sophie said, interrupting them. He felt more than heard Hawke’s frustrated sigh at the intrusion. They’d invited their family to stay for the holidays, even going as far as to foot the bill for travel. As much as they were enjoying the chance to spend time with them, privacy was an elusive beast. Jamie wasn’t about to let this moment pass. Sophie could get the fuck over it.

  Snagging Hawke’s hand, Jamie headed for their room. He ignored the way she kept her eyes covered. “No worries. We were just leaving. If anyone comes looking for us today, tell them not to bother.”

  Her laughter followed them from the room. Jamie was so focused on his destination and the idea of having Hawke alone, he didn’t see the attack coming. His feet barely crossed the threshold before Hawke slammed into his back, carrying him the rest of the way into the room, and kicking the door closed behind them in one smooth motion.

  Jamie’s roots stung when Hawke buried his fingers in Jamie’s hair and tugged. His teeth sank into Jamie’s neck, drawing a moan from his throat. Hawke’s hips cradled Jamie’s ass as he nipped at his neck. The erection between them couldn’t be missed. It was only fair Hawke should suffer. Jamie ached with need.

  “You’ve got me alone,” Hawke taunted. Electricity skittered down Jamie’s body, making his dick leak as Hawke’s lips brushed his neck with every syllable, and his breath fanned across Jamie’s skin. With Jamie’s chin held in one hand, Hawke shoved Jamie’s jeans down his hips with the other. “I’m going to fuck you,” Hawke said, promise dripping from every word. “Hard.”

  The muscles in Jamie’s stomach clenched in anticipation. His cock throbbed. In a flash, Jamie shed his clothes. Even he wasn’t sure how it happened so fast. With his face buried in the mattress and biting the sheet, Jamie fought to hold back the cries of pleasure as Hawke’s dick pressed inside him. Hawke hadn’t lied. His hips slammed against Jamie’s ass, moving the bed an inch in the process. The scraping of wood on wood caused a loud screech to rent the air, and a moan tore from Jamie’s lips.

  Every day Jamie swore he couldn’t be more turned on by Hawke, and every day Hawke proved him wrong. The pleasure tightening his balls told the same story as always. There wasn’t a need for Hawke to as much as brush his fingers over Jamie’s cock. He was ready to blow. Making love to Hawke was more than physical. It was a total mind fuck. Every kiss and stroke singed his skin with heat and ecstasy and filled his mind with thoughts of giving Hawke the world. In his head, Jamie couldn’t stop chanting how much he loved Hawke—loved how he felt inside him. When the moment came that even he didn’t understand his words any longer, they were all still true.

  Light exploded behind his closed lids, stealing the air from his lungs. Waves of pleasure shook him. Hawke’s teeth sank into his shoulder, muffling his cries, but Jamie felt them. The sheet clung to his stomach from the evidence of his release. Jamie didn’t care. Breaths sawed in and out of his lungs, desperately attempting to carry enough oxygen to his body to survive. Somehow he still drew enough air to profess his love. If he was going to die from the pleasure, he wanted those words to be his last.

  * * * * *

  Jamie chose the perfect moment to strike. Hawke’s muscles had long past turned to jelly. Exhaustion weighed heavy on every inch of his body. His brain was in overdrive. Jamie always did that to him. He demanded everything from Hawke while giving him more than Hawke could handle. Somehow he always made Hawke’s brain beg for it to never stop even as his body cried uncle.

  “Maddox called me today.”

  Hawke turned his head, pressing a light kiss to Jamie’s stomach before dredging up a response. Maddox’s name was damn near taboo in their home. “How did that go?” Hawke was more than a little proud of how calm he sounded.

  Jamie brushed his fingers through Hawke’s hair, causing his eyes to fall closed. Even with such a heavy topic hanging between them, Jamie still made Hawke feel at peace. “I didn’t answer.”

  An inner groan reverberated from the walls of Hawke’s mind at Jamie’s answer. Hawke knew why Jamie hadn’t taken that call and he hated it. It had eaten at him, knowing he was the reason they were no longer friends. He’d never intended to come between the pair. Maddox had been his first real love, but Jamie was Hawke’s soul.

  “Why not?”

  Whereas Hawke had contained his earlier growl, Jamie wasn’t as restrained. “Are you serious?”

  In hopes of calming Jamie’s temper, Hawke pressed his lips to Jamie’s stomach once more, lingering there for a moment before answering. “I am.” He didn’t give Jamie time to argue again. Pulling on some Herculean strength, Hawke came to his knees and straddled Jamie’s hips. With his palms braced on either side of Jamie’s head, Hawke held the man’s gaze, ensuring he understood exactly how serious he was. “I tried talking to you about this once before, but you got pissed, and I let it go. This time, just hear me out. Okay?” A muscle jumped in Jamie’s jaw, but he gave Hawke a short nod. Hawke wasn’t convinced. “Promise me.” Jamie rolled his eyes. Hawke didn’t budge. “Jamie, promise me.”

  “Fine. I promise.” In spite of Jamie’s irritated sigh, Hawke still bit back a smile. Even when Jamie was being childish, he was hot as hell. As proud as he was to call Jamie his husband, they couldn’t avoid this topic any longer.

  “I drove Maddox away.”

  Hawke wasn’t surprised when his back hit the mattress and he found their roles reversed. Nostrils flaring and jaw-tick working double time, an enraged Jamie hovered over Hawke.

  “You promised,” Hawke reminded him. Jamie didn’t respond. He decided to take the silence as a good sign and pressed on. “The first time we kissed, you did something to my head. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. At first, I thought if I helped make your dreams come true and I knew you were happy somewhere in the world, the fantasy of you would fade. By the time I realized how wrong I was, it was too late. You were in California and I’d made a commitment to Maddox. There was also Addison to consider, so I settled in.”

  Saying Addison’s name was ten times harder than Maddox’s had been. Hawke had fallen in love with Maddox’s tiny daughter. Losing her had been a blow Hawke hadn’t known how to endure.

  “You didn’t cheat on him. That was all Maddox. He’s the one who was wrong. You stayed away from me. Even after the two of you split, for eight months, you stayed away.”

  The fury in Jamie’s tone almost made Hawke give in, but if Jamie was going to choose to cut Maddox from his life, Hawke wanted him to do so with all the facts. “Do I think he was wrong? Hell yes. He was, but he wasn’t the only one at fault. I wanted to trust him, but I couldn’t. Every incoming text he read and immediately deleted sent my head straight to some place ugly. Eventually, I shut down and withdrew.” Running his palms up Jamie’s thighs, Hawke did his best to calm him. “Every time I found myself inside my head instead of figuring shit out, I found you there. I was meant to be with you.” At Hawke’s confession, Jamie expression softened. Hawke wasn’t done. “Being anywhere other than with you is like fighting fate. It sat between me and Maddox all hours of the day. No matter how hard we tried, there was always going to be a piece of me with you. My mistrust and resentment ate at him—at our relationship until he broke. If you want to shut Maddox out of your life forever, don’t do it because of me. I belong to you. Nothing can change that.”

  “Everything I do is for you,” Jamie said, sounding almost vicious. “You’re mine and he hurt you. Nobody harms you—not ever. It doesn’t matter that his loss is my gain. The idea of you suffering for any reason, it kills me Hawke, and I wasn’t there,” he bit off, clenching his teeth so hard, Hawke heard his jaw pop. Hawke squeezed Jamie’s thighs before moving higher, massaging Jamie’s hips between his hands and
drawing him closer.

  “I love you.”

  Jamie’s belligerence fled. Hawke watched it bleed from him as he returned Hawke’s words. “I love you too.”

  “Call Maddox,” Hawke demanded as he urged Jamie forward, wanting to taste his lips. “Kiss me first. Everything else can wait.”

  Jamie leaned in. His brown hair fell forward, framing his face. His gaze turned mischievous. “Does that mean you’ve recovered enough for me to have my wicked way with you again?” Hawke’s cock twitched, proving he wasn’t quite as dead as he’d believed. Lifting his head, Hawke closed the final inches between them and captured Jamie’s mouth. Their erections bumped and Hawke reached between them, palming both cocks and tugging.

  The breath caught at the back of Jamie’s throat. Hawke felt it on his tongue. Maybe Jamie would call. Maybe he wouldn’t. Either way, Hawke had said his piece and they would be fine.

  Jamie’s tongue swiped the crease in Hawke’s bottom lip. “You up for a shower?”

  He was up for everything. “Anything you want baby.”

  Jamie’s lips moved to his jaw. “I want you.” He brushed a light kiss underneath Hawke’s ear. “Warm water.” His mouth moved to Jamie’s throat. “Bubbles running down your body.” Jamie’s teeth sank into the soft spot where his neck and shoulder met, making Hawke moan. “My dick buried in your ass.”

  Fuck. Yeah. Hawke wanted all of that. Jamie rolled from the bed and Hawke followed. Since they’d been together, Jamie had slowly gotten several new tattoos until almost his entire upper body was covered. They each moved with every step the man made. It was one more thing that always kept Hawke’s gaze fixed upon him. Within steps of the bathroom, a loud bang had Hawke and Jamie meeting each other’s gaze in confusion. The noise came again and Jamie’s eyebrows lifted in question.

  “Benton?”

  Hawke shrugged. While it was true their home was filled with guests, the way the cottage was designed Hawke’s and Jamie’s bedroom was one of only two bedrooms on that side of the house. Every other room was on the opposite end. When they’d invited their families to stay, they’d intentionally left the room next to theirs empty. Neither of them could keep their hands to themselves, and the walls were damnably thin. Not to mention, Benton had a key. He came and went as he pleased and they kept that room open for him. Even though the man lived down the street, they were all he had. Hawke and Jamie wanted him to know he had a place with them. Since he was a night owl who always prowled the streets during the late hours, he was the one person who their night time activates wouldn’t bother. Not that it was possible to bother Benton. He was more likely to try to join them.

  When the banging began again, Jamie and Hawke both pulled on their jeans and headed for the door. As one, they followed the sound to the room next door. Hawke didn’t hesitate before throwing it wide. He immediately pulled it closed again. Exchanging horrified glances, Jamie and Hawke moved back to their bedroom in silence. The instant the door closed behind them, they both leaned back against it. Hawke let the cool wood between his shoulders seep into his skin as he tried to process what he’d seen. Jamie seemed to do the same.

  Moving away from the door, Hawke pushed his jeans back down his hips. “We never speak of this again,” Hawke said over his shoulder as he headed for the bathroom.

  Jamie flipped the stereo on, drowning out the noises coming from next door before joining Hawke in the shower. “Agreed.”

  * * * * *

  Maddox stared at the face of his phone almost certain his mouth had fallen open in his surprise. Only the snapping of his teeth, as they came together, broke through the haze of his shock. He answered before he lost his chance.

  “Hello.”

  Jamie cleared his throat before responding. “Um. Hello. Merry Christmas. A little early.”

  Wow. Maddox didn’t know what to say. Thankfully, his numb lips found the words his brain couldn’t grasp. “Merry Christmas.”

  “So, um, I noticed you called yesterday.”

  Jamie sounded so freaking uncomfortable, but he’d returned Maddox’s call. It was more than Maddox ever thought would happen. “I did, but I honestly didn’t think you’d call me back.”

  “Yeah, well, me either.”

  Huh. That was Jamie—honest to a fault. “How’s—how have you been?” He wanted to ask how married life was treating him, but Maddox knew anything he said that as much as hinted at Hawke would get him shut down fast.

  “Good. How about you?”

  Maddox almost responded in kind, wanting to keep things afloat. Unfortunately, his life was such a mess, his lips refused to shape that lie. “Not so great. I’m hanging out at the hospital waiting for news on my dad.”

  “What happened?”

  “They don’t know yet. He collapsed at work and they rushed him in. His spleen ruptured for no apparent reason and he almost bled out.” Maddox nearly choked on the words. He’d never been more scared. “Anyhow, they’re keeping him in a clean room until they figure out what happened. I’m not allowed back there in case it’s some horrible superbug, so I’m stuck hanging out in the waiting room and staring at a TV I can’t control.”

  “Dude, that’s awful.” Maddox heard someone say something in the background, and Jamie repeated the news. He assumed it was Hawke. Jamie’s next words confirmed his thoughts. “Hold on, Maddox. I’m going to put you on speaker. Hawke wants in on this.”

  Maddox’s fingers tightened on the phone, but somehow he squeezed out an agreement. “Okay.” It sounded as if something was brushing across the receiver before Hawke’s voice came through the line.

  “What can we do to help?”

  Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Maddox’s eyes fell closed as he tried to think of some way to respond. When he did, his voice came out sounding as if he’d been chomping on glass. “There’s nothing anyone can do. I’m just waiting it out.”

  “We could move stuff around, right?”

  Maddox didn’t think Hawke was talking to him, but he treated it that way. “No. You can’t. I’m fine.” They ignored him.

  “Yeah. If we shuffle your parents off, we could probably get a flight out tomorrow. I’ve got a meeting with Guillotine tomorrow afternoon, but Benton could go without me since it’s an emergency.”

  “Let us make some calls, Maddox. We could be there by tomorrow night.”

  It was part heaven and mostly Hell having Hawke make such an offer after everything they’d been through. “No. You’re not doing all that just to sit in the waiting room with me.”

  “What about Cade and Dylan?” Jamie asked, talking over the top of him.

  “They have jobs. Look, it’s not like I have anything else going on. I’ll be fine.”

  Hawke made a scoffing noise Maddox knew too well. His throat burned. “It’s not about what you can handle. You shouldn’t have to be alone right now.”

  “I’m not,” he lied. “Someone’s coming to give me a break in a little while.” It was total bullshit, but he couldn’t let them hop a plane. “I appreciate the offer though.” More than they would ever know.

  “Are you sure?” The skeptical note to Hawke’s voice made him smile.

  “I’m sure.”

  “We could still move things around if you change your mind.”

  The ache in Maddox’s knuckles said a lot about how tightly he gripped the phone. Of all the people in the world to make this offer to him, it would be Hawke. Life enjoyed kicking him in the balls. “Seriously, I’m good, but thanks.”

  “Call us if you change your mind,” Jamie said, refusing to back down. “I’ll text you Hawke’s new number, so you can call either of us if you need anything, and we’ll call again tomorrow to check on you.”

  “All right.”

  “We’ll talk to you then.”

  Maddox swallowed against Hawke’s promise. “All right.”

  Five minutes passed after the call disconnected before Maddox stopped staring at the face of his phone. He had no words. I
t rang, startling him. Cade’s name appeared. Maddox rolled his eyes as he pressed the device to his ear. He already knew.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything? I had to find this shit out from Jamie? I’ll be down there in ten minutes.”

  The absolute absence of noise let Maddox know Cade was already gone. He should’ve known Hawke and Jamie wouldn’t take him at his word. They already knew it wasn’t worth shit.

  * * * * *

  The table was subdued, even for one of their uncomfortable dinners. Hawke’s food went untouched. Instead, he took turns leaning into Jamie’s side and slinging his arm across the back of her chair. For a moment, Sophie entertained the possibility she’d somehow missed an altercation during the day. That idea ended at Hawke’s and Jamie’s bedroom. They hadn’t left it all day. There was no denying she was missing something. The tension was choking her, and she was the only person at the table who was still meeting anyone else’s gaze. Of course, Benton hadn’t looked her way since he told her to hit the road in New Orleans. It still hurt. She couldn’t lie. In fact, he’d avoided her the entire week and a half she’d been staying with Hawke. Tonight, he’d shown up out of the blue. Sophie was torn between kneeing him in the balls and begging him to forgive her.

  Her mom finally burst, pulling Sophie’s attention her way. “I’m sorry.”

  “Kill me now,” Hawke muttered under his breath. Her mother’s distress couldn’t be deterred, even by Hawke’s protest.

  “I’m just so embarrassed.” Indeed, she was red-faced. Sophie was fascinated. “Everyone was busy and the bed in our room doesn’t have a good place for handcuffs.”

  With her fork raised halfway to her mouth, Sophie froze. Handcuffs? Was her dad blushing? What the fuck?

  “Ah. A secret revealed. Imagine that.” Benton’s smart ass comment had Sophie’s toe itching. She could reach his crotch from here if she tried. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind his remark was aimed at her.