by Tamara Bundy
He’s a pretty tough little guy. I guess maybe not hearing the scary things in life makes him less fearful. But when the world looks like it might be ending, I suppose that is even scarier when you can’t hear.
As soon as the wind started blowing, he grabbed me, sticking as close to me as one person could stick to another without completely becoming that person.
I tried to walk with him in that position so we could get back inside, but it was dang-near impossible.
Because there hadn’t been any rain, the ground was nothing but a mixture of dried leaves, brown grass, clay and dust. And as soon as the wind started to blow, everything on the ground got lifted into the air and stirred up like it was in a huge Georgia blender.
Something flew into Eddie’s eye. He screamed like his eye had just been poked out as he let go of me and cupped his hands over his entire face.
It’s not easy to reason with Eddie when he’s upset, but when a boy who “listens” with his eyes can’t see, there is no use to even try.
Still, I tried to get him to come toward the house with me.
That’s when I heard the sound of rain coming like the roar of an engine over my screaming brother. And no sooner did I hear it than I saw it and felt it. Instead of just rain, it felt more like heaven opening to spill everything and everybody back to earth.
And while this was happening, Eddie started running with his eyes clenched shut—in circles. I would’ve laughed at how it reminded me of Clarence running blind in a circle the way he does sometimes—but I wasn’t in a laughing mood.
I knew we needed to get inside fast but now the wind was blowing so fierce and the rain was falling so hard I could only see a few feet in front of me in the dark and Eddie wasn’t there.
There was no point in hollering for him. And as scared as I was for me, I was ten times more scared for him to be running mostly blind and completely deaf in this storm.
Then a flash of lightning hit and the lights that were on in Grandma’s house were gone.
Gone, too, was the wind and the rain. All at once, everything was quiet.
Real quiet.
Too quiet.
I stood froze to the ground, not knowing what to do.
That’s when I did the only thing I could do.
I started to yell.
All the frustration and disappointment that I’d swallowed all these months seemed to come out at once. It started in my toes and rose up and out of me like a volcano waiting to release lava it’d been holding for years.
I screamed and screamed.
And then, over my own wails, I heard a familiar voice. “Hey, Alice-girl!”
I stopped screaming. I didn’t see her but I could hear her. “Ya gonna just stand there and blow away or ya wanna come join your brother and me inside?”
chapter 25
Never had I been so happy to hear that crackling voice. I squinted into the wind and walked toward the direction of her voice. “Miss Millie? Eddie’s with you?”
“As sure as I stand here, he plumb jumped the fence and ran right into my house and into my arms, he did. I figured someone had to be looking for him.”
“Yes, ma’am. Mama had to take Grandma to the hospital.” I started explaining when I saw Miss Millie at the fence, but she interrupted me.
“Maybe you can tell me all about it inside the house. We don’t get many tornadoes in these here parts, but I’m not likin’ the looks of those clouds.”
And at the mention of tornado, I, too, was inside Miss Millie’s house and practically in her arms.
When I got inside, Eddie was curled up with Clarence. As soon as Eddie saw me, he ran to me. I could see his eyes were red from whatever had got stuck in there.
But I guess my eyes were red, too.
“I think we’ll all be fine, but just to be safe, we should go down to the cellar.”
Now, I like cellars about as much as I used to like cemeteries, but I like the idea of a tornado even less, so me and Eddie and Clarence all followed her.
The cellar smelled musty and I sneezed the second we got to the last step. From the candle Miss Millie held, I could see nothing but cobwebs and canning jars. I was getting ready to say maybe we didn’t have to be in a cellar when I heard the rattle of the wind against the cellar door that led to the outside. The wind was knocking so hard it was like it was demanding to come in.
Miss Millie led the way to a couple of chairs. “Here ya go. Little dusty, but it’ll do.”
I sat down on a chair, and Eddie again almost climbed into my skin.
Then, Miss Millie, with Clarence right at her feet, sat down. As soon as she did, Eddie leaped off my lap and climbed into Miss Millie’s lap. Miss Millie smiled and her eyes glistened as he buried his head into her chest and shut his eyes.
The wind continued to knock at the cellar door as my brother clung to Miss Millie and she stroked the curls on his head like I imagined she used to do to her own little boy so long ago.
Then she looked at me. “Ya need a blanket? That rain gotcha good.”
I felt a chill from being wet as soon as Eddie left my lap, but I wasn’t in any mood to be comforted, so I just shrugged and answered, “Nah.”
Miss Millie continued to stroke Eddie’s hair as she looked at me with a sad smile. “So what’s got ya so upset tonight?”
I still wasn’t ready to talk. I shrugged. “I don’t like tornadoes.”
“Oh, fiddlesticks! That’s not the reason, Alice-girl. Now, tell me the truth. When I saw ya outside you were cursin’ at the heavens. And believe me, I know cursin’ at the heavens when I see it. What’s got ya?”
I folded my legs up so that I could wrap my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees. I stared at Miss Millie, but said nothing.
“All righty then, if ya want us to sit here and stare at each other, guess I got nothin’ better to do.”
She stared back with such a concentrated expression, I had to look away before I did something I didn’t want to do, like smile.
But in spite of wanting to wallow in my bad mood a while longer, I guess I needed to talk even more.
So I looked back at her.
And told her.
I told her about Eddie getting hurt and running away and me being scared.
I told her about Grandma breaking the mirror and cutting her hand.
I told her about all Daddy’s broken promises and the buried letters.
I told her about Daddy looking for himself and me looking for him, too.
And I told her I might have finally realized that Grandma wasn’t ever getting better and Daddy wasn’t ever coming back.
. . . . . .
And near the end of my telling, I heard the wind stop knocking. I heard the soft sound of Eddie’s snoring. And then when I was done telling, I heard Miss Millie.
“Alice-girl, ya know one thing I learned with all my disappointments and loss?”
I shook my head.
“I learned it’s okay to get mad. It’s okay to get sad, but after all that gettin’ mad and sad, ya gotta get smart. Ya gotta take a step back, away from all your hurtin’, and figure out what ya can change and what ya can’t.”
I sat there, listening, kind of wishin’ I had that blanket after all. But I wasn’t ready to admit Miss Millie was right about that, or any of it.
She cleared her throat and continued, talking soft, shielding Eddie’s ears, like she forgot he couldn’t hear. “Sweetie, I don’t know your daddy from Adam, but I have to say you’re not gonna change him. A leopard don’t change his spots. Seems like he’s moving on with his life. Maybe one day he’ll realize what amazing kids he’s missing out on knowin’, but until then, ya can’t worry about him so much ya waste the love of the people around ya.”
I heard Miss Millie continue on. “And your mama, I think she’s doin’ the
best she can. For you, for this little guy, for her sick mama. Just like you’re doin’ the best ya can. We’re all in this great big world just bumpin’ around each other trying to do the best we can . . .” Her voice trailed off a bit. I knew her breathing was getting heavier. She was starting to wheeze again from all the talking.
I watched her there with Eddie curled up on her lap in the damp musty cellar. I watched her still stroking his hair, all soft-like, all the while she was trying to make me feel better. I let her words come into my ears and rattle right through me before I wiped my eyes on my still-wet shirt.
The lights started to flicker back on, and I was thinking the storm was officially over. I wondered if Mama would be home and thinking we got blown away in the storm.
Miss Millie must’ve read my mind. “Wonder if we need to get you two back before your mama gets home and worries herself to death. I think it’s safe now. Feel better?”
There was still a lot I wasn’t happy about. There was still stuff I didn’t like. But if I thought real hard, the kind where your thinking goes all the way down to your soul, I had to admit, I did feel a little better.
chapter 26
“Happy birthday, dear Alice, happy birthday to you!”
As the singing and the signing of the birthday song ended, I took a breath before blowing out the eleven candles. “Make a good wish!” Pam yelled.
It’s funny. I knew exactly what I would’ve wished for a month ago. But like I feared, Daddy didn’t remember it was my birthday with a card or a call or anything. I figured I’d used up enough of my wishes on him.
I shut my eyes and blew.
“Yay!” Everyone clapped.
“What’d y’all wish for?” Pam asked. “Nah, don’t tell me—it won’t come true!”
Mama pulled the cake back to cut it and serve it to my guests: Pam, Eddie, Miss Millie, Clarence, Mrs. Davis, and even Mr. O’Brien, who I told Mama could come.
Grandma was here, too. She hadn’t needed stitches but her hand was still bandaged from her accident. She seemed perfectly happy to be sitting between Miss Millie and Mrs. Davis, like she was enjoying my party just fine.
“First piece goes to the birthday girl!” Mama announced, bringing me the corner piece of the chocolate cake.
“Thanks, Mama.” She smiled at me and nodded to Clarence. “Looks like someone is enjoying one of your presents.”
One thing I asked for for my birthday was a new dog toy. When I first told Mama that, she thought I meant I wanted a stuffed dog. But I explained I wanted a chew toy for Clarence.
After I opened it and gave him a toy shoe that squeaked, Clarence got real close to it and sniffed it. Then he looked up at me like he was insulted. He might have even rolled his eyes. But after I threw it and squeaked it and chased it myself a few times, he figured it out and started wagging his tail like he was enjoying it.
When everyone finished their cake, I walked into the living room where the grown-ups had gone to sit. I came in on the end of Mama and Miss Millie’s conversation.
“But don’t tell her what I said or her head will swell so big she won’t never be able to leave the house through the door again.” Miss Millie laughed, and coughed a bit.
Mama laughed, too. “Well, thank you for those kind words, and I agree, my daughter is a great young lady. But I have to thank you, Miss Millie. Your friendship has meant so much to her—to us.”
I knew Miss Millie didn’t like to get all mushy and she really didn’t like getting compliments, so I waited to see what she’d say. She shrugged her shoulders until they looked like they were stuck around her ears as she looked right at me and winked. “Who said nothin’ good never comes from eavesdroppin’?”
Everybody laughed and soon Miss Millie was coughing.
“Want a drink of water?” Mr. O’Brien asked as he stood up and walked to the kitchen. Miss Millie shook her head, but Mama nodded to him that it was a good idea.
They didn’t understand Miss Millie’s coughing fits like I did.
I followed Mr. O’Brien into the kitchen.
I didn’t mind him being around so much anymore. Especially after he’d asked Mama to teach him some sign language. But I had to laugh when he tried to sign to tell Eddie something was funny and it looked more like he had something stuck on his nose.
Still, it was nice he was trying.
Before he brought the drink to Miss Millie, who wasn’t coughing anymore, I had something I needed to say. I cleared my throat. “Um . . . thank you for the bike, Mr. O’Brien. It’s real nice and I like riding it around town.”
“You are very welcome, Alice Ann—I mean Alice.” He smiled at me. “I’m glad you could get some use out of it. Are you having a good birthday?”
I looked around my house and saw all the people—and of course Clarence—there. I had to admit I was having a pretty good birthday after all.
And I smiled. It was good to be eleven. I already knew so much more than when I was just ten. Lots of living and growing must make a person smarter.
I looked at Miss Millie and figured she’d been living and growing for ninety-two years. I guessed it was no wonder she was so smart.
chapter 27
On my next walk with Miss Millie, who was waiting for us on the corner, straddling his beat-up bike, but Jake McHale.
Miss Millie nodded to him. “Mr. Jake.”
Jake looked over his shoulder like he was afraid a mountain lion might jump out at any minute.
“Hi, Mrs. Miller . . . um . . . Alice.”
I nodded to him. “Hi, Jake.”
He continued his yammering, looking mostly at Miss Millie. “I . . . I’m sorry my brother . . . my dad . . . what they say ain’t what . . . I want to say.”
Miss Millie moved closer to him. I wondered if she was seeing his freckles, his sad eyes, his scratches or maybe she was just seeing Jake. “It takes a strong plant to come up out of the hardened ground, ’specially when it ain’t given much sunshine.”
Jake looked right back into her eyes and smiled a smile that said he knew she wasn’t really talking about growing plants. They were having themselves a moment.
Then Miss Millie brought me into their moment. “Ain’t that right, Alice-girl?”
I was okay with their moment going on and I was old enough to understand what Miss Millie was telling Jake. But I was staying quiet, still wondering what kind of hardened ground their home was built on, when Miss Millie repeated, “Ain’t that right, Alice-girl?” And then she started coughing.
I’d grown used to those coughing fits. Didn’t like one bit how frequent they were, but I knew to wait it out.
Poor Jake didn’t know that. He hopped off his bike like he was gonna have to catch Miss Millie if she fell. “Can I get ya something?” She shook her head as he turned to me. “Is she okay?”
“She’ll be okay—she’s used to it. We just need to give her a minute.” Miss Millie cleared her throat as the coughing let up.
Jake smiled a scared kind of smile. I noticed all his smiles seem kind of scared.
“Where’s Pam this morning?” I asked him.
Jake grinned bigger at his sister’s name. “She checked out another sign language book and is studying that thing all the time now. Taught me a couple things, too.” When he said that, he shrugged and looked away like he was embarrassed.
Clarence started whining at the delay in the walk. Jake nodded to him. “Good to see him walking normal again. Clarence, right?”
Miss Millie nodded. “Wouldn’t have happened without ya carin’ for him, Jake.”
That was enough to make him turn completely red as he hopped back on his bike and waved. “I’d better get on home. See ya later.” And then just to seal the deal, he yelled back, “Bye, Alice!”
“Bye, Jake!” Miss Millie and me both said at the same time. I looked at her and she was
grinning like she knew something I didn’t.
“He’s a good egg, Alice-girl. Him and Pam—and maybe, maybe someday even the older, angry one—they just need some friends, too. Everybody does.”
Of course I was okay with being friends with Pam. And Jake, too—but now Miss Millie was even suggesting I could be friends one day with the McHale I knew was as mean as his daddy? The same one I knew was a rotten egg? Maybe all that coughing had finally gone to her head.
“Alice-girl,” Miss Millie began as if I spoke my last thoughts out loud, “sometimes we have to take the high road. ’Specially with children who only be imitatin’ what they been taught.”
Before I could figure out what to say back to her, we reached a street where we usually turned left instead of right.
Today she wanted to go down the other street.
Now, even though I’d been in Rainbow almost three months and had gone to church, the school, the park, the library, and of course on lots of walks with Miss Millie, I had to say I hadn’t been up and down all the roads in the town. And that one was new to me.
Miss Millie stopped in front of a pretty house with a big front porch and a sign that read JOE WATKINS, M.D. “I need to go in here. I’ll only be a minute. How ’bout you and Clarence wait on the porch?”
This was strange, but the porch was nice. It was in the shade and there were pretty yellow flowers with dark middles that I saw on a lot of porches here. Black-eyed Susans: I remembered Grandma once told me their names.
Clarence and I were just sitting there on the porch swing when a girl about my age came out.
She had pigtails and a real nice smile that looked familiar. She just stood there like I was supposed to know who she was. “Hi?” I said, realizing it sounded like the question it was.
“Hi,” the pigtailed girl said. She looked almost as awkward as I was feeling. “I’m Charlene.”
“I’m Alice.”
“I know.”
“You know? Do you go to my church?”
“No.” She smiled but the awkwardness was kind of going away with her smile. “No—my daddy’s a doctor and Miss Millie told me about you last week when she was here.”
