by Kim Faulks
The chilling edge was gone from his gaze. He watched me all the time he washed and rinsed. Something had happened—something dangerous enough to put a vampire like Kol on edge. I shivered.
“What is it?” I asked.
He ignored me to reach for my hand, helping me to my feet. My knees wobbled, but he pulled me against him, holding me up. His body was warm under the heat of the water—I closed my eyes as his hands worked, over the muscles of my shoulders, and then along my spine.
I could imagine us as just like any other man and woman… falling in love—preparing to spend the rest of our lives together.
The water shut off with a squeal of the taps. Plastic rings clattered as Kol shoved aside the curtain.
“Are you okay?”
I opened my eyes to stare at the crease in the middle of his brow. His blue eyes searched mine. Pressure built inside my head, pushing at my thoughts—ghostly fingers touching, sifting.
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Don’t move, Nova… be very still now.
Devlin’s voice filled my mind. I jerked from the memory with a cry. My feet slipped against the slick bath, then I was falling. Kol clutched me in the blink of an eye. His strong arms lifted, carrying me over the edge to the floor.
“I’m sorry. Nova…”
I shoved his arm, stumbling away. The cold wrapped around me, clinging to my sodden hair. “Don’t ever do that again. My mind is my mind. It’s not for you.”
He flinched at my biting words. His hand still hovered in the air, waiting. “You’re right. I’m sorry… I—.”
My muscles quivered, my teeth chattered. I wrapped my arms around my body as the spark of recognition dawned in his gaze.
“He did that, didn’t he? He invaded your thoughts?”
My head felt like a stone. I nodded, watching as pain twisted his perfect face.
His jaw bulged, the blue dulled, darkening before my eyes. “What else did he do, Nova? What else did he do to you?”
The floor… tiny puddles around the edge of the bath captured my gaze. My gaze blurred. I blinked the water from my eyes. The brush of something warm made me flinch. Kol stood naked without so much as tremble, holding out a thick towel for me.
“You want to know what happened? I’ll tell you. But first I have a question of my own.”
His lips pressed together. One curt nod was all I received. I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my body. “I want to know why you left me. Why you didn’t take me when you had the chance. You knew what was going to happen, and yet you abandoned me.”
He flinched, breaking eye contact to stare into the room behind me. I caught the tremble in his voice—the monster was breaking before my eyes.
His voice was abrasive and husky, as though he rubbed his heart raw. “I had no idea who the vampire was, you have to believe me. If I knew… I.” He turned his head, shifting his gaze to me. Turmoil strangled the blue in his eyes. “Even monsters live by a code… we have to, to survive. You signed a contact—a contract that was valid. And a contract to a vampire is law. We have no honor, we have nothing more than the line that sired us, and an unspoken rule. If it is written and signed—it must be upheld. I couldn’t break that, and I couldn’t watch you walk away. I couldn’t stand there and see you taken to another man… another vampire to… be his.”
My heart twisted. This was the secret he’d been keeping. “Yet you changed your mind.”
He swallowed. “Yes. I realized law, or no law. I couldn’t live knowing another man had taken what was mine.”
“Yours because you cleared my debt.”
“No. That was the only way I knew to protect you. You’re not a whore, Nova.” He held out a hand between us. “This is not a business arrangement. This is me… this is me trying to tell you—”
My breath stilled, weighting inside my stomach like a stone.
“This is me trying to show you that I love you.”
The stone dropped. My heart skipped, then raced to catch up. I shook my head, trying to take it in.
He grimaced, then lifted his hand combing his hair back. “Are you going to say anything?”
I blinked. Of all the things for him to say, I hadn’t imagined it was that. I tried to voice the same words. Three little words—how hard could it be?
Jared sneered inside my head. You can’t love him, Nova. You’re not made for love. You’re hollow, dead inside.
“When I say those words to you,” I told Kol, “and I will say them—I want them to be more than a whisper. I want them to be a scream.”
His gaze clouded. I’d hurt him. But I’d not bow to any man, vampire or human, until my heart was ready. “You wanted to know what he did to me. That thing you do inside my head… times that by a thousand. He invaded me, made me do things I didn’t want to do. I was powerless, Kol. I never, ever want to feel like that again.”
His throat worked. “I… I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Nova.”
“You did it out of concern--out of wanting to know what I was thinking. I can understand that. But it still feels like he’s inside me, possessing parts of me that no one ever should. I’m not telling you this to hurt you. But if we’re going to be together we need to be honest with each other.” I let out a breath. “It’s important to me.”
He nodded, holding my gaze for a second before looking away. This was his chance to say what was on his mind.
“I’m not weak, Kol. Don’t shut me out, don’t wrap me in cotton wool, or whatever you’re doing. I want this to work, so I need to know what’s going on. Now what’s wrong? And don’t brush me off, because I can tell something is wrong.”
Kol blew out a breath. “Okay. It seems Devlin Holland and his three brothers ran drugs, arms, and every other black market trade along the West Coast. They’ve made quite a name for themselves. They’re dangerous , Nova. And I think they’re coming for us.”
I clutched the towel tighter. “Oh God… oh, my God.”
That cruel edge sparkled in his gaze. “You wanted to know. So now you know.”
He stiffened. Life dulled in his eyes. The man turned cold as steel. He crossed the bathroom, brushing his towel across the beaded water on my arms and answered. “No. So, how about I get you dried before you catch your death? Then we can go and collect your things? I want you to feel at home here.”
I relaxed into the motion as he ran the soft cotton down my back and smoothed my hair. I followed his movement, skimming shuddering muscles. Gentle pressure at my back guided me into the bedroom. I reached for my panties.
“Hmm, dusty pink,” he said in a husky tone. “I love that color, makes me think of your nipples in my mouth.”
The quake deepened. My hands stilled in the act of sliding the elastic up my thighs. My body came alive—the ache between my thighs pulsed. I wanted him—dear God, I wanted him.
His baritone chuckle sped my heart. I closed my eyes. My body obeyed a new master now, as did my heart. The elastic bit into my fingers. I worked the panties to my waist and reached for my bra. “I need to call my sister. If I’m living out here, I’ll need a car.”
I slid the straps over my shoulder, waiting for his reaction. The silence was deafening.
“If you want something, Nova, all you need to do is ask.”
I swallowed over the lump in my throat. “You’ve been more than generous, Kol. I… adore that. But I need a little independence. I need something that’s mine. I want to return to work, if Mr. Walker still has a job for me. I need to contribute, I need to not feel so damn helpless.”
“I’ve known a lot of people in my time, Nova. Some weak, some strong. You’re not the strongest person I’ve ever met, but you’re not helpless. To me, you’re not some glimmer in the night—you burn brighter than the damn sun. You’re everything to me. Everything. The woman who dared care for a cold-hearted murderer. If you want your own car, I’ll buy it—no strings attached. If you want a job, I’ll give you a job. You can wait tables at the club, or you can help me in the office. G
od knows I’ve tried to hire someone to help me, but they either get themselves turned, or don’t bother to show up.”
He stepped closer, lowering his voice. “You’d be helping me, not the other way around.”
I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on. The idea of returning to my old job at the supermarket felt like a step back into my old life. I wasn’t the same person, and the thought of explaining what happened to anyone rubbed me raw. And besides, it wouldn’t be safe. Kol might be acting like Jared’s death and Devlin Holland weren’t a problem, but I suspected there was something more.
The soft cashmere sweater felt like cotton wool against my skin. I shimmied into it. “So, I’d be doing what exactly?”
“Answering the phone, help me make some sense to the catastrophe of a filing system I have. Order stock, balance the books, that kind of stuff.”
I turned and folded my arms. “And if working together causes problems between us?”
A corner of his mouth twitched. “Then I’ll fire you on the spot.”
I pictured the tacky bar, stripper poles and all. Could I work someplace where women were viewed as commodity? I frowned. “The women who work there—”
“—are paid very well. Most use it as a way to pay for college, or afford a better life, one they never had working a nine-to-five job. We have single mothers, we have engineering masters, we have some of the brightest, most levelheaded, women I’ve ever known. There’s strict policies on what’s acceptable and what isn’t, and any vampire who walks through that door understands the consequences. We have rule breakers from time to time, but there are consequences.”
“What are those?”
He ended the conversation with one icy word. “Me.”
I took a deep breath. “Okay, how about a trial period? Either party can back out at any time with no hard feelings. That way we have the ability to keep home and work separate.”
I reached out, ready to shake. He wrapped the towel around his waist and grasped my hand. His lips brushed my knuckles, sending a pulse across my skin. I opened my mouth, wondering if I’d made a mistake. How the hell could I work in the same room as this man without jumping his bones?
He lifted his head and I was swept away. The heat in my cheeks took flight. A boyish grin spread across his lips and something in my chest took flight. At least he wouldn’t be half-naked, I reminded myself. But Kol looked just as good in a suit as he did out of one.
Neither situation helped. I dropped my gaze to his silver skin, his throat, his chest, and then lower. “Maybe we can work in separate offices? Just for a little while at least.”
“Whatever you say.” He stepped closer. Carnal hunger raced through my veins. “I am here for your every need.”
Jesus. I spun toward the door. My feet wouldn’t work. I couldn’t brain. I stumbled, my feet catching on the rug and pitching me forward. His arms were there, catching my fall. I nodded and moved out of his hold. I didn’t want to be that woman who fell apart around any man. “I’m good. I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
Kol stepped away, unashamedly naked. I focused on the hallway and the stairs as the scrape of drawers echoed behind me. My feet were a blur, racing. Sodden clumps of my hair stuck to the back of my neck. I hit the landing and made for the lounge room. My bag sat inside the doorway. I grasped the handles and fumbled inside for a brush.
Kol whistled a tune upstairs, sounding like someone out of a fifties movie. I dragged the bristles through my tangled strands, trying to soothe my scattered mind.
Get a hold of yourself, girl. He’s just a man…
No. He’s more than that. He’s a vampire.
How many times had I said the exact same thing to my friends, giddy with love in their eyes? How many times had I sat back, unable to understand their giggles, or their lack of reality, passing it off as delusion, or desperation?
Upstairs, the high-pitched tune morphed into a song.
I was neither desperate, nor delusional. I was a woman, trying to find my footing, while the world was swept out from under my feet.
“Ready?”
I jolted and dropped the brush. I turned and shot my gaze to his smile, before glancing to the top of the stairs and his bedroom. How had he gotten back down here so fast?
“Do me a favor, warn me next time. You’re so damn fast and quiet, you’re going to give me a heart attack, sneaking up on me like that.”
A nerve twitched at the corner of his eye. “I didn’t sneak… I don’t sneak.”
“Maybe walk a little heavier, or whistle, so I know where you are.”
His gaze hardened. I swallowed. The flash of anger was gone in a second, softening to desire. “I guess we’re both going to have some adjustments to make. I’ll try to walk a little slower, and step a little harder. May the next few months be a period of beautiful transformations.”
I nodded and closed my eyes. The damn man couldn’t speak without turning everything into a lustful spoken embrace.
“Shall we?” He held out his arm and glanced toward the door.
I wound my arm around his. I was dancing with no music, stepping with two left feet and somehow amongst all off this I’d never felt so alive. My fingers grazed his arm, finding cool skin under the perfect crease of his crisp pale silver shirt.
His shirt fit snug against his chest, silver slacks clinched tight at the waist by a black leather belt. The fabric was tailored to perfection, giving you a hint of the delicious body beneath.
“You feeling okay? You look a little flushed. I knew I should’ve made you dry your hair. Do you want me to wait?”
I shook my head, tearing my gaze from his cock as he slid into his jacket. “No, let’s just get this over with.”
I followed Kol out of the house and into his car, shuddering as the morning air smothered me in an icy embrace.
He hit the heater, angling the vents in my direction, and set the temperature to warm. By the time he backed out of the driveway and nosed the car toward the quiet suburb streets my jarring chatters had slowed.
The constant blast of air was the only sound as he drove. Family homes blended into the four-lane highway. I eased back against the seat.
I turned to stare out of my window and caught the thin trail of black smoke from somewhere in the heart of the city. “Looks like a fire.”
Kol scanned the horizon, and a second later shifted down gears and switched lanes. I slapped the dashboard, grasping hold as the car swerved, throwing me hard against the seat. “What’s wrong?”
His lips flattened. “What is it?”
He wrenched his head toward me, concerned. “I’m not sure yet.”
We followed the traffic, taking the off-ramp for the city. I gripped the handle, holding on as Kol wove tightly in and out of the morning traffic. The sooty trail thickened to billowing black clouds the closer we came to the fire. Worry turned my stomach to stone. We flew past glass giants and stunned onlookers. Ash floated around us, covering the street with blackened debris.
I leaned forward, craning my head as I realized where we were going. Flashing lights snatched my attention from the sooty skyline. I tightened my grip. My heart sped, drowning out the sound of sirens. “Jesus, Kol, that’s—.”
“Yes.” he growled.
The building’s glass doors opened as Kol slammed to a stop. Women stumbled out, still dressed in shimmering dresses and high heels, fresh from their night as a Blood Courtesan. I stared into the side mirror, searching for Isa as they faded into view. “It can’t be a coincidence.”
“We don’t know that. We don’t know anything. So let’s grab what you need and get you home.”
He swung the car down a side street before I answered, taking the corners a little too fast. I held on until we swapped the seedy corners of the Combat Zone for empty apartment buildings and vacant shops. My building waited, dark and forlorn. I gripped the armrest. For some reason I didn’t want to go in there. I didn’t want to see what remained of my wasted years.
; Kol slowed the car, pulling up beside the curb and waited. “You ready?”
I shook my head.
“You can do this, I’ll be right there. We’ll be ten minutes tops. I can do this if you tell me what you want?”
I thought about his offer. It’d be easy to let him take charge and clean up my mess. And this was my mess. This was all my mess. I peeled my nails from the leather and straightened my shoulders. “It’s you I’m worried about. You’re in danger, aren’t you?”
Silence lingered for what felt like forever. “Look at me, Nova.”
I turned my head, staring into his bottomless eyes.
His inhuman growl sent shivers along my skin. “I’m not in danger. I’m the danger. Never forget that. We’ll get through this, and then you and I are going to be together. Do you hear me? Nothing and no one will keep me apart from you—ever again.”
He made sure those words sank in before he shoved open the car door.
My hands wouldn’t work. I fumbled, grasping the slick handle, wet with my sweat, and shouldered open the door. He was waiting for me at the front door of the building. We climbed the stairs in silence. Somehow it felt like betrayal being here with Kol while Jared lay dead at the bottom of the ocean.
But Jared had betrayed me first. I reminded myself of that as I climbed the stairs behind Kol.
“Hurry.” Kol gripped my arm, urging me up the stairs.
When we reached the second floor, I dug for my key in my bag, scraping my fingers across metal teeth before yanking the keychain free. I speared the lock and pushed open the door. Cold air seeped in from the cracks of the windows to dance across my arms. Kol closed the door behind us as I stepped inside the barren apartment.
Three photo albums and a set of ceramic ballerinas were all that remained of my childhood, stacked neatly in the corner of my bedroom. They were the only things of importance. I glanced at my wardrobe and grabbed a warm green cardigan and a favorite pair of worn, comfortable jeans.
Kol stood with his back to me, brushing his hand along the lounge room wall. The same wall he threatened me the night he came for his money. I left him to his memories and made for the bed. Ceramic clattered against the comforter as I dropped the dancers and crouched, reaching under the timber frame. My fingers brushed a strap. I dragged the duffel bag free.
