by Martha Carr
“They’re good, but they’ll give ya seriously clogged arteries my boy. Even your elf body may not be able to fight that off.”
Leira walked out of the kitchen door with one of the staff, who pointed to the Professor and the grease-covered Correk. Though happy to see him, she couldn’t help but smirk as she slid into the booth. She tossed the watch to the Professor, and he scrambled not to drop it. He pulled out a handkerchief and swaddled the watch before putting it in his pocket. Leira snatched a fry off Correk’s plate and bit into it, grimacing at the grease that ran out. She put the half-eaten fry back down.
“Hey, don’t waste it. It’s like gold,” Correk replied, popping it into his mouth.
Leira laughed and glanced at the Professor. “Pretty cool artifact.”
“Was it terribly difficult to retrieve?”
Leira thought about the fall from the building and the gash in her leg. “Nah, piece of cake.”
“Good, because I’d like to use your services from time to time to retrieve artifacts.” The Professor handed her an envelope of cash. “For a fee, of course.”
“Right,” Leira replied, putting the envelope in her back pocket. “But it can’t be an artifact I am already contracted to retrieve for the government. That would get too sticky. One contract at a time.”
“Fair, but that also means that if I contract with you first, you will have to turn theirs down.”
“A little harder to explain, but okay. Also, I want access on occasion to some of the cataloged artifacts that you have, for our use. Nothing too dangerous, but a watch like that could definitely come in handy.”
“I think that can be arranged.” He put his hand out. “Shall we shake on it?”
Leira looked at Correk and back at the Professor, shrugging. “It’s a deal.”
She shook his hand and leaned back, happy about the arrangement.
On the streets of Brussels, the Humans First group staged a rally, marching with signs held high. There were a half a million people present, brandishing signs, chanting, and attempting to educate the spectators on the danger of the magic that was infesting Earth. The rally, like so many others, started peacefully. The people talked, laughed, and listened to soapbox speakers.
General Anderson got word about the rally not long before the people took to the streets, and it made him nervous. He’d called Leira early that morning and asked if she and Correk would go there quietly and blend in with the mob. He figured they could not only keep things safe, but possibly even get a bit more information about the group.
They ported into a quiet part of town, both dressed in jeans, t-shirts, and leather jackets. Correk had piled his hair under a baseball cap, and Leira wore hers down. They followed the chanting crowds headed for the rally, which was no longer peaceful.
“Everyone is getting so worked up over these magical beings populating the Earth. It’s like they’ve already doomed them.”
“Us,” Correk reminded her. “You may have grown up here, but you are more powerful than most. They won’t see you as human, they’ll only see your magic.”
“They have no idea how many of us live here peacefully already. We’re everywhere, even under their feet in kemanas.”
“They don’t want to know. Fear is running the show now.”
Correk jerked with his head toward the front of the rally. Everyone they passed radiated deep fear and anger. This rally, it seemed, was being used to inspire hate in what the people didn’t understand. Correk took a deep breath and looked to his right as something stirred his senses. He walked away from Leira’s side as he followed the feeling. Leira was appalled and saddened by what she saw. An event like that could easily get out of hand. She carefully pulled a bit of light from her chest and pushed out an invisible wave of calm that settled over the crowd. At first, she thought it would help, but it only seemed to work a little. There was just too much fear being whipped up.
Shouts rose from the right, and a small crowd surrounded a woman they believed to be a young witch, threatening her life. Correk hurried toward the angry mob. He gritted his teeth in anger and formed a fireball quickly. As he approached, he casually dropped it. The ball hit the ground and broke into a thousand small blinding fireballs that rolled toward the crowd, causing a mass exodus from around the witch.
He had just enough time to make it to the witch, open a portal, and pull her through. The portal only took them a couple of blocks away, but it was far enough to get her out of harm's way.
He turned toward the witch, who looked terrified.
“What are you doing here? How did they know you were magical?”
“I-I... God,” she stammered. “Someone must have betrayed me. Let them know I would be walking through there.”
“Why?”
“It’s my route home from work, I had to pass them to get to the bus stop.”
Correk softened his expression, seeing how shook up the girl was. He nodded and patted her on the back. “Are you all right?”
“I think so,” she replied. “Thank you for saving me.”
“Go to the next bus stop. Stay away from this crowd, okay?”
She nodded, and Correk ran back toward the rally. He mustered a bit of his magic and searched the ground, looking for Leira’s trail of magic. He kicked himself for leaving her there alone, but he’d had to save that witch. The crowd had shifted so fast.
Leira walked through the crowd and kept her eyes open for Correk. She pushed through a group holding signs with pictures of burning witches on them. From the center of the square, she had a good view of the people around her. As the protesters shifted, she saw a group of witches and wizards pretending to be human. She took a breath, focused her energy, and saw the streaks of dark magic they were dispersing into the crowd. She sensed the spell and realized what they were doing.
Not only were these members of the dark families using magic to raise the heartbeats of the protestors and induce anxiety, but they were also yelling anti-magic slogans and spreading rumors about stealing organs from humans. One talked to a protestor about magical beings kidnapping humans to turn them into shifters, which was a play right out of their book.
Leira narrowed her eyes and stepped forward just as one of the witches looked up. She grabbed what looked like the leader and nodded in Leira’s direction. He smirked at her and the group took off, pushing through the mob. Leira couldn’t use magic—not in the open like that, and not with so many around her out for blood. Between the marchers and the stationary bodies holding signs, she was deadlocked. Leira knew she needed to get out of there when the crowd began to shove and shout.
She turned around and started to push in the other direction. She was jostled to the right and almost fell, but got her balance and skirted through a small gap between marchers. She jogged to the side and looked back as the crowd got even more hostile. When she turned, she ran straight into Correk.
“I was looking for you. Things are getting out of hand, so let’s get out of here.”
Correk took Leira’s hand, and they made their way to where they had originally popped out of their portal three blocks over. Correk bent over with his hands on his knees, a look of frustration on his face. Leira felt the same way, but she knew part of the reaction was from whatever spell the dark families had cast. Correk stood up and looked back in that direction.
“All of this was a lot more orchestrated than we realized.”
“I know,” Leira replied. “I was standing in the center of the crowd, and I saw a group of dark family witches and wizards. They were pumping out a spell to induce intense emotions. They were also telling the humans all kinds of things to incite more fear.”
“I helped a witch someone betrayed. She was just walking home, and they surrounded her. I’m not sure what they would have done if I hadn’t gotten there. “
“It’s not the dark family, though. They aren’t organized well enough to pull off a stunt of these proportions. It has to be something or someone else.”
“The ant
i-magic organization Humans First pulled in over five hundred thousand people in Belgium today, in an attempt to spread the word on what they say is a world on the brink of catastrophe. Most recently, the group has protested magical beings said to be here on Earth. One of the protestors caught a video this afternoon that has gone viral.”
On the news, they switched to a shaky and grainy video. “As you can see, there is an unidentified tall male wearing a hat and leather jacket. He is walking toward a group that appears to be heckling a young woman. Now if you watch closely, what looks to be tiny fireballs are being thrown at the protestors. The man approaches the young woman and then...well, vanishes into thin air. There has been no news as to who this person might be.”
People all over the world watched the video and shared it on social media. It had gone viral within the first hour after hitting the web, and the number of views steadily climbed. The crowd at the rally didn’t settle down once the dark family was gone, either. Arguments broke out between protesters and counter-protesters.
The coverage of the rally and the mysterious video didn’t help the magical cause. Fear blanketed the world, including the United States. No one understood the magical, nor were they willing to try. It was a major hit for the Silver Griffins and other organizations tasked with keeping the peace. The humans were frightened and the magical wary, hoping that they wouldn’t have to use magic to protect themselves.
7
Yumfuck sat on the pillow perched atop his stool, his eyes closed and his hands resting palms-up on his legs. “Ohmmmm.”
The alarm chimed, bringing him back from his meditative state. He took a deep breath and put his palms together at his chest, bowing his head. He opened his eyes and stretched his arms high, letting out a deep breath.
“Hate does not cease by hatred, but by Starbursts. This is the eternal rule.”
Yumfuck jumped down, nodded at his Buddha statue, and scampered over to the closet. He opened the false back and pulled out his cape and mask. Carefully, he threw the cape over his shoulders and tied the mask to his face. He grabbed his utility belt, handcuffs still hanging from the center loop, and pulled it tightly around his waist. Yumfuck put his mini-baton in the holder and stood tall, ready for action.
Before leaving the room, he grabbed a handful of Twizzler Bites and shoved them in the small satchel hanging from his belt. “Midnight snack.”
It was neighborhood watch time, and he quickly snuck through the quiet house and down the front stairs. It was just after midnight, and most of the neighborhood residents were fast asleep. He hugged the edge of the building as he walked to make sure no one could see him. He paused at the corner and waited for two guys to go inside their house before strolling down the street, his hand on his baton.
Yumfuck walked with his chest puffed out, whistling the theme to Batman. Suddenly a scream echoed down the road, and Yumfuck tore down the sidewalk toward the sound. When he turned the corner, he saw a woman dressed in a mini skirt and tank top, screaming and crying as a couple of muggers pointed a gun at her.
Yumfuck growled loudly, tore off his belt, mask, and cape, and grew to eight feet in height. He took a deep breath and roared, spit flying from his mouth, and the air from his lungs blew the hat off the gunman’s head. They stared with wide eyes at the eight-foot troll before turning and taking off down the street. One of the guys looked back, flipping Yumfuck the bird.
“Humans First will rid the world of ugly yetis like you!”
Yumfuck growled: “Aloha, motherfuckers!”
Yumfuck quickly shrank back down to three feet tall and looked up at the woman. She was visibly shaken, but not hurt in any way. She took a shaky breath and pulled a tissue from her purse, wiping the smeared makeup off her cheeks. She knelt next to Yumfuck and closed her eyes, gathering her senses.
“Thank you so much. I don’t care what they say. Low-life thugs who would creep up on a woman in the dark—fuck them. You came to my rescue, so thank you.”
“Gotta clean these streets up, ma’am. I’m just glad you are okay.”
“My name is Frieda. I used to live in Hawaii. I’ve never heard such a good use of our greeting. Mahalo.”
“I’m Yumfuck, nice to meet you. Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need me to walk you home?”
“That’s an interesting name.” She giggled, pointing to the house beside them. “No, I live right there, actually. I was on my way home from some cocktails with the girls. Crazy that it happened right in front of my house, but I’m lucky you were here.”
“I patrol almost nightly. Be safe.”
“You too.” She smiled, ruffling his green tuft.
Yumfuck watched as Frieda walked up the steps and took out her keys. Her hands were still shaking, but he knew she would be okay. He had to get moving. There were several more blocks to patrol before the bars let out at two. Once they did, he would watch from an alley to ensure that everyone got out and on their way safely.
Until then, it was just Yumfuck and the fresh night air, the only light coming from the flickering street lamps along the way. He had really gotten used to the place and now felt at home, even in the middle of the night. Texas would always be his favorite, but DC had a need for trolls like him; magical creatures to keep the streets safe, no matter what the Humans First or anyone else said. Yumfuck had grown up in the Dark Forest. A few angry humans weren’t going to deter him from doing what was right.
He picked up his mask and cape and tied them back on. He tightened the belt around his waist and pulled out a pink Starburst as a treat for a job well done. He popped the candy in his mouth and trilled quietly, his fur rippling from the sweet taste. As he put the wrapper back in the little bag, he noticed that there weren’t enough trash cans on the streets, leading to a buildup of garbage in his beautiful neighborhood. He would have to put that on his list of things to see about in the near future.
“Maybe a trade with the feds,” he said to himself as he walked along. “I’ll catch an animal, they’ll put trashcans in the neighborhoods.”
In theory, Yumfuck had a great idea, but in reality, the feds were much easier to get money than things from. Still, he felt it was his duty to protect the streets and everything on them because...
“I am Batfuck, and I do what is right.”
The night went on, but it didn’t drag—not for Yumfuck. He liked being out there, looking for any signs of trouble, even if he only helped one person. After he patrolled the four-block radius, he decided to stop at home for a quick snack before the bars let out. As he walked toward the brownstone, he saw George farther down the block, sitting on his front stoop just taking in the air. Yumfuck headed toward him, smiling, and put his hands on his hips as he approached.
“Yumfuck.” George grinned. “Nice to see you on patrol.”
“It’s late. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, I just couldn’t sleep. I get like that sometimes. Figured I would take in some lovely night air. You have any big criminals tonight?”
Yumfuck sat down on the stoop next to George and handed him a Starburst. “I saved a woman from two muggers. She was right outside her house, coming back from the bar, and they tried to rob her. I scared them off, but one of them yelled something at me as they ran.”
“What’s that?”
“Something about Humans First ridding the world of ugly yetis.”
George shook his head, saddened by that. “Those assholes deserved to be in jail. They were lucky you were the one who came along. Their whole lives could have been ruined, but instead, they just got a little scare.”
“Motherfuckers,” Yumfuck growled. “They better not come back to this area again, not if they value their lives.”
“Let me tell you something, Yumfuck. I’ve been on this world for hundreds of years, which makes me a bit older than other elves. I’ve seen a lot; more than any of these idiot kids have seen or will see in their lifetimes. What humans don’t understand, they fear. Unless of course they can control it
, and magic is out of their reach.”
“I wish they wouldn’t fear us.” Yumfuck sighed. “We have good and bad guys just like they do. I’ve met a lot of good elves and wizards, and none of them would hurt a hair on a human’s head. It’s power, just like humans struggle with.”
“That’s right, but for them to understand that we are not much different they have to be willing to stop and listen, and right now that’s not happening. It’s sad, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse.”
George opened a huge bag of gummy bears and handed it to Yumfuck. The troll grabbed a handful and leaned back against the step. George chuckled softly as Yumfuck opened his paw, the gummy bears stuck to his fur. Not that he cared; he plucked them out one by one, tossed them up in the air, and caught them in his mouth.
“It’s okay, Yumfuck. You just make sure your side of the street is clean, and you can look yourself in the mirror every day. Then you can handle whatever gets thrown at you. Besides, you won’t do it alone. We may all get asked to step out of the shadows and stand next to beings like you, and we won’t hesitate to do it. That’s where they’re underestimating us. We come together, despite differences of opinions or whether we like each other. We bond in the hard times.”
“That’s right. And Humans First won’t change that.”
The Humans First rally in Washington, DC was well-attended. Protestors lined the streets and spilled into the National Mall. People from all walks of life participated, showing that it wasn’t a political thing, but something people joined because they were afraid. Signs were painted, drum circles were created, and a variety of people lingered, waiting for the speeches.
The dark families had gathered to infiltrate the scene. They wanted to know what they would be up against when the humans finally learned about them. For the time being, though, they would align with anyone who could keep them at the top of the dark-magic food chain. The whole movement angered many in their community.
