When he straightened from stepping out of his shoes, my gaze shot down to the impressive erection jutting out from a scattering of dark hair. This was the first penis I’d seen in real life, so I might not have been an expert on size, but he looked big. Really big. I sucked in a sharp breath when it jumped up a little, which caused the inner walls of my core to contract.
“If you keep looking at me like that, this is going to be over before it starts.”
“Oh, sorry,” I apologized as I tore my gaze away from his groin. I wasn’t sure how I’d been looking at him, but I definitely didn’t want this to be over.
The wicked grin on his face and the gleam in his eye told me that I had nothing to worry about.
“Lie down.”
Those two words coiled deep in my belly. I backed up, and as I climbed onto the bed and scooted up towards the headboard, a now-familiar pressure was already building in my core. My breathing was coming in shorter and shorter pants as I lay down, settling against the pillows. Closing my eyes for a moment, I reminded myself to experience and not fight the anticipation racing through my veins.
The bed dipped, and before I even lifted my heavy lids, Trace’s hands wrapped around my knees. When I did open my eyes, I watched as he spread my legs apart and moved between them so that his face was only inches away from my sex.
Out of pure instinct, I started to close my legs, but his shoulders were blocking their path.
“Trace…” Being naked in front of him was one thing, but having his face up close and personal with my lady parts was another.
His gaze met mine, and he asked a question that took me by surprise.
“Do you think I would ever hurt you?”
“No,” I answered automatically.
“Do you trust that I know how to make you feel good?”
There was no hesitation in my response. “Yes.”
“Then relax.”
I let my legs fall to the side, giving him total access to my body. Trace began running his fingers up and down my folds. Every time he reached the top of my sex, his finger would circle the place I wanted him to touch me the most and head back down again. I softly groaned in frustration as my hands knotted in the comforter.
When my hips started seeking release, Trace leaned forward and placed an open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive spot he’d ignored with his fingertips. The sensation of his tongue pressing against my clit caused me to gasp. His fingers continued rubbing my seam as his mouth covered my nub. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the pleasure whipping through me as he intimately licked, kissed, and massaged me.
With each pass of his tongue and brush of his finger, I skyrocketed towards my release. I let myself be carried away in wave after wave of ecstasy. My body began fluttering with climax as Trace pushed his finger inside of me. At the intrusion, I went up and over the edge, exploding into a thousand tiny pieces.
I cried out as Trace continued laving the hood of my sex over and over again, his finger pushing in and pulling out of me with measured strokes. The sensation was almost intolerable as my orgasm stretched on and on, making me mindless with pleasure. I was still floating as the final spasm claimed me.
When I finally returned to my senses, I opened my eyes to find Trace opening a condom wrapper. I knew the importance of safe sex, but I also knew that, if I ever wanted to get pregnant, it was going to take a lot more than sex, thanks to the effects the chemo had on my body.
In that moment, I wanted to feel Trace, and I wanted him to feel me.
“You don’t need that,” I said softly as I tried to catch my breath.
His gaze, full of questions, met mine.
“I’m not… You can’t get me pregnant, and I don’t have any STD’s, obviously.” I let out a small, self-deprecating laugh.
“I don’t have any, either. I’ve never had unprotected sex.”
Since I’d spent a lot of time at the Briggses’ house while growing up, I knew that safe sex was not optional. The Briggs boys had definitely been raised to use protection.
“You can if you want—”
My words were cut off when the condom dropped out of Trace’s hand and he moved over me. His lips brushed mine as he said, “I don’t want to.”
I didn’t get the chance to respond, because his mouth covered mine in a kiss that consumed every brain cell I had.
Chapter 26
Trace
“They fit like moonshine in a mason jar.”
~ Dolly Briggs
As I kissed Cara, I tried to think of anything other than the fact that I was seconds away from making love to her without anything between us. That her naked body was beneath me. That her nails were digging into my back like she needed to feel me more than she needed her next breath. I was already a second away from coming, so if I’d let myself absorb the reality, I wouldn’t have even made it past the starting gate.
But, on the flipside, I wanted to be as present as possible. This was a once-in-a-lifetime moment I wanted to be fully engaged in. This wasn’t just sex. This wasn’t just being someone’s first. This was Cara. The only girl I’d ever loved. I had fantasized about this happening. Dreamed it would happen. Hoped and wished for this to happen for so long that I couldn’t remember not wanting to be with her. This was a life-changing event I wanted to memorize every second of.
How could I possibly remain distant and engaged? It was like trying to balance a bowling ball and a bag of bricks while walking a tight rope.
Impossible.
The only solution I could come up with was concentrating on what really mattered. Cara. All I needed to do was make sure this was everything she’d wanted and imagined it being.
I kissed her with all the passion I’d stored up during the years I’d been sitting on the sidelines and watching her life go by. I wanted to pour every ounce of love and desire I felt for her into this kiss. I ignored the ravenous need building in me as I took my time and explored her mouth with slow, methodic licks.
Her soft sounds of pleasure got louder, and her hips began rolling against me. I slipped my hand between her legs to make sure she was ready. My fingers slid over her slick folds, coated in her juices. I pressed the tip my finger into her tight canal, and her inner muscles clamped around it. The sensation shot pleasure to my shaft.
Slowly, I began working my finger in and out, letting her body adjust to the feeling. When it did, I added my middle finger and continued the motion, pushing in and pulling out, stretching her walls each time I entered her. I swallowed her moans as she rocked into my hand, meeting me with thrusts of her hips.
Her inner muscles pulsed around my fingers as my own desire reached a pinnacle when she broke our kiss and said, “I want to… I want…you.”
I continued fingering her as I stared down at her. Her eyes were glazed as pleasure danced over the delicate features of her face. Knowing she was ready, I took my shaft in my hand and positioned it at her opening.
I ignored the primal impulses surging through me to push inside her in one stroke. My voice was barely recognizable as I gritted out, “This shouldn’t hurt. If it does, I’ll stop.”
She nodded, her eyes growing wide.
She gripped me tighter, pulling me even closer to her as I pushed in barely an inch. She let out a gasp as she closed her eyes. I intently watched her face as her body clamped around my engorged head. When her eyebrows relaxed, I slid farther in and she sucked in a breath. I stilled as beads of sweat broke out on the back of my neck. She was so fucking tight.
“You feel so good,” I whispered. Then I placed a kiss on her cheek. “You feel so fucking good,” I repeated again and again between peppering kisses across her forehead and down her cheeks.
With each declaration, her legs tightened behind my back and pressed me farther inside her body. I let her set the pace as she took me inch by inch until I was buried to the hilt. I remained still, giving her time to adjust to the sensation, continuing to shower kisses along her neck and her breasts. I didn’t mov
e below my waist until her body started milking me and her back arched up. Then I slowly pulled out as I sucked her nipple into my mouth. When I pressed back in, I gently bit her nipple, and she responded by cursing with encouragement.
“Oh, fuck, that feels good,” she said with a sensual catch in her breathy voice.
Her hands found their way to my hair, like they had last night, and she fisted her hands to hold me in place. I continued making love to her in measured strokes as I sucked, nibbled, and licked her breasts.
“Don’t stop,” she moaned. “Please, don’t stop.”
Her desperate pleas combined with the pressure and the friction of her body gripping and pulsing around me as I surged in and out of her wet, tight passage sent a hot, throbbing rush of unrestrained release straight to my throbbing dick.
I tried to hold my climax back and concentrated on Cara’s perfect breasts and the feeling of her hardened nipples as I flicked them with my tongue. But, when her body trembled beneath me and her thighs shook against my hips, I gave in to the waves of ecstasy crashing over me. A deep groan of satisfaction ripped from deep in my chest as my body stiffened in mind-blowing completion. I came harder and longer than I would’a ever thought was possible. Lightning bolts of pleasure exploded through me as I rode my orgasm out.
As the last aftershock rolled out, my senses slowly returned. The first thing I grew aware of was that I was laying on top of Cara.
“Am I hurting you?” I asked as I started to push up.
“No,” she panted, her arms tightening their hold around my neck and shoulders.
I relaxed but still held up some of my weight so I wouldn’t crush her as I tried to recover. My brain was in a fog thick with emotion and sex.
What we’d just shared was so special, so different, but I didn’t know how to tell her that without scaring her. She’d made it clear that she didn’t want a relationship, but that hadn’t been hookup sex. That had been lovemaking. I’d never felt closer to another person in my life.
Our bodies were so in tune with one another. She was so responsive to me, and my body craved her like a drug it was addicted to. When her grip loosened, I kissed her as I slowly pulled out of her and then got up.
“I’ll be right back.” As I headed to the bathroom and ran a towel under warm water for her as I cleaned myself off, I tried to lock down the love overflowing from my heart. If I didn’t get that in check, I was scared that the second I walked back into her bedroom I would not only confess my undying love for her, but also get down on one knee and propose.
I’d always heard of girls getting emotionally attached after sex, but this was the first time I’d experienced it. Which made me an asshole, but it was the truth. It wasn’t that I hadn’t cared about the girls I’d been with—I had. But, in the past, once I’d gotten off, my thoughts had usually been filled with what I had to do the next day, what I was going to eat, or if there was a game on. Not visions of me walking down the aisle.
I tried to shake that image out of my head as I made my way back to the bed. Sitting beside her, I gently cleaned her up, not looking at her face so I wouldn’t see what she might be thinking or feeling about everything. I was still trying to get myself under control. Once I’d finished, I tossed the towel into the hamper in the corner of her room and lay down on the bed, pulling her beside me.
Like the night before, she snuggled against my chest and draped her leg over mine.
I ran my fingers through her hair as I asked, “How are you feeling?”
“Good. I just…um… I just…”
The uncertainty in her voice sent fear racing through me. Had I hurt her? Had I been too rough? My throat constricted.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing.” She pushed off my chest and turned her face up to me. “It was… Everything was… Everything felt so good. I just thought… I’d heard from people that it doesn’t the first time.”
Relief replaced the fear that had been choking me. “Oh, yeah. Well, if you’re with someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing, it is bad. It can be awkward. It can be painful. I’ve heard some pretty fucked-up stories.”
“Me too.” She nodded, and her chin brushed against my chest. “I thought I would just be getting it over with, but that was… I didn’t want it to stop.” Pink tinted her fair cheeks.
“Sorry about that.” I laughed as I rubbed the soft skin of her bare back. “Usually I can last longer than three minutes, but you just felt so fucking good. I’ve never…” I stopped myself from blurting out that I’d never had sex with someone I loved. I covered by saying, “I’ve never had sex without a condom.”
She smiled shyly as she laid her head back down. I ran my fingers through her hair as we lay together in silence. I was just starting to drift off to sleep when I heard her softly say my name.
“Trace?”
“Yeah.” My voice was already gravelly from my half-asleep state.
“Thank you.”
“No.” I kissed the top of her head. “If anyone is going to say thank you, it’s me. Thank you for trusting me.”
She didn’t reply, but her entire body melted against me in response. I loved the feeling of her skin pressed against my skin. Of her leg resting on mine. Of her breath fanning over my chest.
I loved her, and I had no idea what to do about it.
Chapter 27
Cara
“Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier then puttin’ it back.”
~ Dolly Briggs
Don’t smile. Whatever you do don’t smile.
I was barely able to maintain a neutral expression in front of the firing squad in the form of Destiny and Harmony as they grilled me about Derek, who was really Trace. I’d agreed to meet today because Destiny had said that she needed some help planning the grand opening of JJ’s sport’s academy, but it was quickly becoming clear that that was not what this lunch was about.
Harmony was sitting across the booth in the back of the Spoon, the diner Destiny had worked at before she’d gotten married to JJ and worked on opening Sugar Rush. She lowered her voice as she narrowed her eyes. “So, you go out with Derek. It goes well. We don’t see you for weeks because you’re ‘busy working,’ and now, when we do, you’re glowing like a bonfire doused in lighter fluid. And you honestly want us to believe that you are still a virgin.”
Destiny tried a different approach than our more straightforward friend. “Are you seeing him? Is it getting serious?”
I took a sip of my soda. I’d told them more than once that I didn’t want to talk about this. Maybe, if I would have actually been seeing Derek or some other random guy, I would have wanted to discuss every detail. But I’d been with Trace—every night for the past two weeks. And what we had might not have been conventional, but it was…special. And ours.
I’d had to remember that this wasn’t a real relationship. Trace didn’t do relationships, and even if he had, he deserved more than what I could give him. Over and over again, I’d told myself that this was just sex. The problem was, I was having a hard time convincing myself because I’d never had a real relationship and what Trace and I were doing was not only what I’d always imagined one being like, but also what I’d seen portrayed in movies and TV shows.
Every evening, he’d come home—I mean over to my house. We’d eat dinner together. Talk. Laugh. Sometimes, we’d go straight to bed and spend the entire night kissing, touching, and enjoying each other. Or, some nights, we’d play board games until one or two a.m. A couple of nights, we played video games, just like when he used to bring Harmony to the hospital and he’d hook his Playstation up. And, all the other nights, we’d watched TV shows or movies. But, no matter what preceded it, every night ended with us making love—or, um…having sex.
On the few days I’d worked from home, Trace had stopped by for lunch and we’d ended up engaging in what he called afternoon delight. We’d spent the weekends together, holed up in my house, doing more of the same. W
ith the exception of last Sunday, when we’d driven to Dallas, visited the botanical gardens, and gone to a movie and dinner. That day, it had been hardest to remember that this wasn’t a real relationship.
“Work has been really busy,” I repeated for the tenth time since I’d sat down, ignoring Harmony’s accusation and Destiny’s inquiry.
Thankfully, I was able to say that with a straight face, because it had been. Despite my distracted mental state, when I’d turned in my first article under my very own byline, it had gone viral and was getting a few thousand views a day, thanks to shares on social media. So, now, instead of one weekly fashion and lifestyle article assignment, I’d been promoted and was now working on an advice column as well.
I loved it, but I was very busy. Instead of just researching a subject and writing an engaging article, I had to sift through all the e-mails readers had submitted and decide which ones to respond to. So far, I’d stuck to my wheelhouse, answering letters about friendship, family, pressures of school, and health. But the majority of the letters had to do with relationships, and I hadn’t yet delved into that pool since I was still wearing my floaties in the shallow end.
“It can’t be that busy.” Harmony was clearly not buying it.
“Here you go, ladies!” Tami Lynn, who’d been a waitress at the Spoon for as long as I could remember, set our salads and sandwiches in front of us. “How are you feeling, hon? You don’t quite look like ya swallowed a watermelon yet.”
Pure joy radiated from Destiny’s face as she patted her baby bump. “I’m feeling good. I have a lot more energy, and I haven’t been sick in ten days.” She made a fist and rapped her knuckles three times on the table top. “Knock on wood.”
Convincing Cara (Wishing Well, Texas Book 2) Page 17
