“Not always,” she reminded him, several questions still unanswered.
He refused to look at her, keeping his gaze on the road as he swept his hand through his hair. She thought he wasn’t going to answer her, but finally he said, “Look, Caroline, when I met you, I—you knocked me off my feet. I wanted to go to bed with you there in the model home where we met.” He looked at her with eyes filled with hot passion.
“But we didn’t,” Caroline said hurriedly, pressing against the truck seat.
“No, we didn’t. In fact, even though you were willing to go to dinner with me, you made it damn clear that dinner was all you were offering.”
“What happened next?” She knew so little about herself, much less the man next to her. It was like working blindfolded. And she hated it.
“We spent the next two weeks falling in love.” He made his blunt statement a challenge, daring her to contradict him.
She drew in a deep breath. “When—when did we—”
“The night before you left.”
His responses were more and more brusque. Her inquisition wasn’t pleasing him. Well, too bad, she thought huffily. She was the one pregnant. She had a right to ask a few questions. Particularly the one he hadn’t yet answered.
“Why didn’t you use protection?”
“Because I hadn’t planned to take you to bed, okay?” he snapped.
“Are you trying to say I seduced you? Or are you blaming me for not having taken care of things, like most men?” She could get just as irritated as him.
“Hell! Caroline, how can you ask such stupid questions? It just happened. Don’t you understand how it is between us? I can’t touch you without going up in flames. And for your information, lady, you didn’t do any holding back yourself.”
She looked away, unable to meet his look. How could she argue with him after what nearly happened in his office? Just sitting beside him made her heart pound and her pulse race. “Where were we?”
“We were at my place.” He stopped the truck and waved out the windshield with his hand. “Right here.”
She ignored his house to finish her questioning. “You didn’t have protection here?”
“Damn it, Caroline, what is the point? We didn’t use protection. That’s pretty obvious since you’re pregnant.”
“I want to know why.”
Staring straight ahead, he said, “Yes, I had protection here. I didn’t—hadn’t used it in a while, but it was there. I preached too much to my brothers about always being safe not to have some condoms there.”
Hadn’t he cared enough about her to want to protect her? Was she wrong about him? “Then why?” she whispered.
He whirled in his seat suddenly and seized her by the shoulders. “How many times do I have to tell you? I lose control with you.” His lips covered hers again in a demonstration that had her convinced at once.
Knowing she was going under for the count if she didn’t do something quickly, Caroline pulled away from him. She clutched the door handle and muttered, “I want to see your house. It looks beautiful.”
The glare he shot her didn’t show any appreciation, but he wrenched open the door and got out. She quickly followed.
Max’s home was his pride and joy. He’d rewarded himself with it a couple of years ago. Set in the foothills of the Rockies, it wasn’t huge, with only three bedrooms, but it sported a back porch and patio with a mountain stream nearby.
He opened the front door and stood stiffly aside to let her enter.
“Do you take care of it yourself?” Caroline asked, looking around at the casual furnishings. His sisters had helped with the choices, but he’d made the final decisions, choosing bold, bright colors in comfortable, easy-care fabrics.
“No. The cleaning lady came today, so you shouldn’t find any dirty underwear thrown under the bed.”
Her eyebrows rose, a smile on her face for the first time since they left the office. “Oh. So that’s the kind of person you are.”
“I never tried to hide it.”
His gruffness washed away her smile. “I know, but since I can’t remember anything about those two weeks, it’s like I’m meeting you for the first time.”
“Not in one way.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about our bodies, Caroline. Your head may not remember me, but your body does. Surely you can admit that? Or do you want another demonstration?”
She licked her lips and he thought he’d die if he didn’t touch her. He stepped forward and then stopped when she moved away from him.
“I want to believe that, Max, but you’re a very sexy guy. Maybe you have that effect on every woman you date.”
He leaned against the wall, trying to assume a casual pose. “Oh, yeah. You saw the line around the house, didn’t you, just waiting to fall into my bed.”
She grinned but shrugged her shoulders. “Just because they aren’t here at the moment doesn’t mean they aren’t chasing you.”
“Honey, once I met you, I haven’t so much as talked to another woman except to order fast food.”
She seemed pleased with his words but turned away to look at the living room. He watched her, his hands itching to pull her back into his arms, but he didn’t. Things had gotten a little intense, and he didn’t want to frighten her away again. “Come on back to the den and I’ll fix us a cup of coffee.”
She followed him without saying anything.
As they passed the kitchen, Caroline dug in her heels. “Wow. I’m not a great chef, but I know a terrific kitchen when I see one. How perfect, Max.”
Memory grabbed him and he blinked several times before explaining. “That’s about what you said the first time you saw it.”
She gave him a nervous smile and walked into the family room that connected. She moved to the huge windows that looked out toward the stream. “What a marvelous yard for children.”
He walked up behind her and slid his hands over her stomach. “Yeah. For my kid.” The idea of his being a father was becoming more and more real to him.
Her hands came to rest over his, but when she spoke, he heard the hesitancy in her voice.
“Max, I can’t—I don’t know.”
He tensed again. He hated it when she refused to believe he was the father. When she didn’t recognize what they shared. “Caroline, this child is mine. Mine.”
“I believe—when you touch me, I have no doubts. It’s only afterward, when I think about the past, that I get confused. What if the baby really is Adrian’s? What then?”
He clenched his jaw until it ached. “It’s not.”
“But how can you know? How can any of us be sure until I regain my memory?” With an almost mournful air, she added, “And until I know whose baby this is, I can’t make any decisions.”
“Then why are we here?” he growled, wanting her, frustrated with her holding back.
“I want to see where we made love.”
With his jaw set, he motioned for her to follow him as he led the way up the nearby staircase.
CAROLINE WANTED TO CLOSE her eyes, to run away, rather than face the possibility that this desperate measure wouldn’t work. What if there was no recognition? There hadn’t been so far.
And Max’s house was distinctive, beautiful. She wouldn’t forget it, would she?
They reached the top of the stairs with a spacious landing and three doors opening off it. Max led her to the farthest door. He swung it open and stood back for her to enter.
She gasped.
The entire back wall was floor-to-ceiling windows, framing the mountains in awe-inspiring beauty.
“Oh, Max, how stunning!” She turned around to smile at him, thrilled with the beauty of his house. He frowned back at her.
“You don’t remember it, do you?”
His flat tones, devoid of emotion, stole her appreciation away. “I want to remember, Max! Truly, I do, but I can’t lie to you.”
He strode past her to stare out at the mountains.
“I never asked you to lie.”
“No, just to remember. But I can’t do that, either. The doctor said I might never recover my memory.”
He spun around to stare at her. “Never?”
She tried to smile as she shrugged her shoulders. “That’s what the man said.”
Unable to face the despair in his gaze, she moved around the large bedroom, dominated by a king-size bed. The room was decorated in shades of green, touched with rust, a very masculine room. As desperately as she searched for memory of the place, she found none.
He crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her. “Maybe you should look at the ceiling. I don’t think you saw much of anything else the last time you were here.”
“Max!” she protested automatically as the meaning of his words penetrated. Then a shiver ran over her as her eyes left the ceiling, where she’d automatically looked, to return to him. She could believe his words. Why look at scenery when Max Daniels was available? Only she wanted more than availability. She wanted to awaken every day with Max at her side, to go to sleep each evening in his arms. She wanted his love.
So far, Max had told her he wanted to make love to her, but nothing more. She met his gaze. “It’s a wonderful house, Max.”
“But you’re not here to see my house…or me, are you? You’re here to see if you remember anything. Right?” His voice was hard, accusing.
“So what’s wrong with that? You want me to get my memory back, don’t you?”
“Yeah. But I’d like a little honesty, too. Though that doesn’t seem to be your strong suit.”
“Max Daniels! How dare you!” It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t remember what happened.
“How dare I? It’s easy, lady. Think about it. Everything you told me was a lie! When I got to that hospital room and found you, I thought I’d found Caroline Adkins, recently arrived from Kansas City, in need of a job, alone in the world. Instead, I find a room full of people, a family with more money than the rest of the state put together, and two other men claiming you.”
Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. He was right. She couldn’t deny a thing he said. Fighting back the tears, she stared at him, wishing her chin wasn’t trembling. “What do you want me to say, Max? I can’t remember. I’ve told you over and over again.”
“Just don’t say a damn thing,” he growled, and turned his back on her.
Wanting to apologize, only she wasn’t sure what for, she crossed the room to touch him. It seemed so natural to reach out to him. She wanted to believe she was remembering, but she wasn’t sure.
“Don’t do that!” Max snapped. “Don’t you realize where we are?”
She was beginning to wonder if she’d stumbled into one of those houses of mirrors, where appearances constantly changed. After carefully looking around her, she said, “We’re in your bedroom.”
“Yeah, my bedroom, where we made love. Are you offering to repeat the experience? I need to know the limits before I kiss you.”
Her eyebrows soared in exasperation. “Max! I just wanted to—I don’t know what. I don’t want to make you angry.”
“Are you sure? Or are you still trying to remember?” He reached out and pulled her against him. “Maybe I need to refresh your memory. Do you want to know what really happened the night we made love? Do you, Caroline?”
The anger in his voice should’ve frightened her. But it didn’t. The heat building in her, pooling in her stomach, only made her want his touch more.
“When we made love, I started by kissing you,” he muttered, and then did exactly that, covering her lips, taunting her to open them as his tongue sought entrance. After an awe-inspiring kiss, he broke away to say, “Then, I slid my hands down here,” and ran his hands down the seat of her pants, caressing her hips, pulling her more tightly against him, letting her feel his arousal.
She gasped and his lips returned to hers, taking the kiss deeper and deeper. One hand left her hip and moved to her breast, caressing it through her blouse. “Remember?” he whispered before his lips trailed down her throat.
Was she remembering? Or just wanting to remember so badly it felt the same? At that point she didn’t much care. She just knew she wanted him.
They were both breathing heavily now. Caroline clung to him as if he were an anchor in a rough sea. His lips trailed his fingers as they began unbuttoning her blouse. When he took her bare breast in his hand, she almost cried out at the exquisite pleasure.
“That’s right, Caroline. That’s exactly how you reacted. You wanted my touch as much as I wanted to touch you. Do you remember?”
The anger in his voice had gone seductive, purring at her reaction, egging her on. As if she needed it.
She brought his lips back to hers and reached for the buttons of his shirt. His broad chest fascinated her and she wanted to run her hands over him. He was hard and unyielding but warm and inviting, and shivers swept over her.
He began to divest her of all her clothing, muttering as he did so, “At least we have an advantage this time.”
She almost didn’t hear his comment, as occupied as she was with his magnificent body. “What?”
“I can’t get you pregnant.”
She gasped, but before she could protest, his lips covered hers again. She gave herself up to the enjoyment they were both experiencing, concentrating on removing Max’s clothes as efficiently as he was hers.
In a matter of seconds all restraints were gone, and Max swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed. Caroline didn’t know if she remembered his touch or found it so mesmerizing she was confused. She only knew she didn’t want him to stop.
As if reading her mind, he said, “Caroline, much farther and I can’t stop. Do you want me to stop?” He gasped as he stroked her, caressing her breasts, her hips, every inch of her.
“Oh, no,” she pleaded, and sealed his lips with hers. She wanted no more questions. She didn’t want to think, only feel. They would be united, as she wanted them to be, forever and ever.
The next few minutes were filled with exquisite sensation. Max anticipated her wants almost before she knew them herself. Caroline writhed beneath him, spurring him on, loving his touch, returning each caress with more of her own. She had never felt as alive or as complete as she did in his arms.
His hands sliding over her body electrified her, and she stroked his muscled form, eager to learn every inch of it. She might not remember the first time they made love, but she was building new memories she hoped would last a lifetime.
“Caroline!” Max gasped as she touched him before his lips took hers in a kiss that was the ultimate in oneness, a union of breath and spirit that filled Caroline with joy. When, together, they reached completion, she collapsed, exhausted yet content from their lovemaking. For the first time since her accident, she felt at peace, happy.
Max lay without moving for several minutes, unable to think. Their lovemaking had been even more stupendous than he’d remembered, something he hadn’t believed could be possible. Eventually he shifted his weight, concerned with hurting Caroline.
“Max!”
“What is it, Caroline?” he asked, recognizing something unusual in her voice.
“Max, I hope you have some crackers.”
He leaned back and stared at her. “Probably, but we haven’t discussed eating crackers in bed. Don’t you think you’re moving a little fast here?”
“Very funny,” Caroline replied faintly. “If you don’t get me some crackers quickly, I’m going to throw up my breakfast in your bed. Which do you prefer?”
He leaped off the bed and raced to the kitchen without bothering to pull on his jeans.
“CAROLINE?”
She was leaning back against the booth at the restaurant where they’d eventually gone for lunch, replete, her eyes closed. “Hmm?”
“Caroline, what are you going to do?”
Her hazel eyes popped open and she lost her satisfied look. “What do you mean, Max?”
“Wh
at are you going to do about us?”
“I—I don’t understand.”
“I just made love to you. You made love to me. Doesn’t that mean something?” He could feel the frustration rising in his voice, but he didn’t know how to control it. The thought of Caroline leaving him, perhaps even seeing Adrian, drove him crazy.
“Of course it does. It was the most wonderful experience in my life.”
“That you can remember,” he reminded her, his voice heavy with sarcasm.
Her cheeks flushed and she stared at him, her chin raised. “Yes, that I can remember. Does that satisfy you?”
“No, it doesn’t. We belong together. I don’t want you to go back to your father’s house. I want you to stay with me.” He hadn’t thought about the details. He just knew that she was his.
“Max, I can’t do that.”
She refused to meet his gaze and he felt he was fighting a losing battle.
“What do you mean?”
“I have to find out who the father of my baby is.”
“Damn it, Caroline! I’m the father! I thought what we did was the proof you need,” he growled.
Caroline looked around her as if she feared he’d be overheard. “Max, I loved what we—how we spent the past few hours, but that doesn’t change the fact that you may not be the father.”
“So what were we doing? Conducting a little test? Was that the real purpose of your visit? Comparison shopping? Are you going to try to remember with Adrian, too?”
He knew he shouldn’t have said those things. He didn’t even mean them. But he was frustrated…and afraid. He didn’t want to lose her.
But it seemed he already had.
Since she’d left her car at his office, she couldn’t leave without him, but she made her unhappiness obvious as she picked up her purse without a word and stood, waiting for him to join her.
Hastily paying the bill, he followed her from the restaurant. Once they were in his pickup, he tried to make amends.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. What I said was out of line. I didn’t mean to be hateful. I’m a jealous snake. Please forgive me.”
She said nothing.
“Come on, Caroline, that was a pretty good apology. I haven’t groveled like that in a long time.”
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