She wriggled herself closer to Keith and kissed him with a rare, ravenous hunger. Her feverish passion startled Keith so much that he broke the kiss and tilted his head back to scrutinize the features of her face. Was this real? He’d been hoping to arouse her, but had he really believed in his ability to do so? Something didn’t feel quite right, though for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what it might be. Andrea had never kissed him like this when they were both young and randy in college. Something was very odd here.
It struck him then that he could have her tonight, right now, in her own kitchen or wherever he chose. If ever a woman was ripe and lushly ready for lovemaking, it was Andrea, and it just didn’t add up. Running hot and cold was one thing, but this was…well, it was astounding. Keith’s heart sank. Something told him to get the hell out of there, and it seemed so ludicrous when this was what he’d been wanting from Andrea. But he couldn’t take this to the next level. Not tonight, he couldn’t.
He slid her arms from around his neck, kissed her lips lightly and said, “You were right, it’s late. May I call you tomorrow?”
She was almost too thunderstruck to speak. Why had he stopped? She didn’t want him to stop!
“Yes…I suppose,” she mumbled.
“Good night. Sleep well.” Keith walked out of the kitchen and in a few seconds she heard the front door open and close. What had just happened? she asked herself. Dazed and confused, she stumbled to a chair and fell into it. She sat there numbly and tried to find some sense in Keith’s visit.
She couldn’t do it. There was no sense to it, certainly none in the way he’d talked about making love and then kissed her the way he had, only to back off when she kissed back.
Strangely, though, when she finally went to bed and stared at the darkened ceiling, her thoughts were more on herself than on Keith’s peculiar behavior. In fact, her own behavior was far more peculiar than his, and it made her cry to think about it.
She finally fell asleep with wet, teary eyes and a heavy heart.
Keith didn’t go straight home from Andrea’s house. Instead, he drove to the Cattleman’s Club, parked and turned off the engine of his SUV. There were times when the club was more welcoming than his own home, and he started to get out to go inside when he spotted vehicles belonging to friends parked in the lot. They would call him over, ask him to join them, and those that knew him best would see that something was wrong and, with all good intentions, even ask him about his downcast demeanor.
And what would he say? You’re looking at a fool. I had her in the palm of my hand and I walked away.
Heaving a sigh, he decided against going in but he didn’t immediately restart the motor and leave. He sat behind the wheel staring through the windshield at nothing in particular, remembering that kiss and wondering…wondering with every cell in his body. Surely Andrea’s response hadn’t scared him off. No, he hadn’t been scared. He’d been stunned, but why, for God’s sake? Why wouldn’t she be more passionate now? She’d been married, she was a mature woman and everyone learned and changed with time.
But as logical as that explanation was, it didn’t sit right. The problem hadn’t been Andrea’s response, it had been his! How could he be so damned ambiguous about something he’d been so positive of wanting? He still wanted her! Didn’t he?
Sighing, Keith tried and couldn’t put it all together, the old memories—so many of them pure gold—with Andrea’s consistently distant treatment of him since college, and now this. Why in heaven’s name hadn’t he stayed? Not just to make love, but to talk. To really talk. Damn, instead of confronting her ardent mood he’d run away like a schoolboy, red-faced after his first kiss.
He finally drove home, disgusted with himself and wondering who the real Andrea was these days.
Andrea began her early-morning run on Saturday with none of her normal exuberance. She felt listless, in fact, and hoped that some extra oxygen in her blood from physical exertion would bring her back to life. She always spent time at New Hope on Saturdays, and she didn’t want to go in looking like the last rose of summer.
It was how she felt, though, and she only got as far as Royal Park when her willpower totally deserted her. Stumbling to one of the benches near the lake, she collapsed on it. In seconds, tears began filling her eyes, a humiliation in public. But it was very early and while there were some other early birds in the park, no one was close enough to see Andrea O’Rourke crying without a sound, just sitting there while tears dribbled down her cheeks.
She angrily dashed them away. There was something wrong with her, and she fully intended to find out what it was. Kissing Keith the way she had last night and then being turned down was more humiliating than crying in the park, for heaven’s sake.
“Oh, stop it,” she muttered and got up from the bench and ran for home.
Andrea put in her time at New Hope that day, but though she tried not to be impatient to be out of there, she couldn’t enjoy her hours at the charity facility as she usually did. Perhaps enjoyment wasn’t the right word to describe her work with New Hope, for every woman seeking shelter and protection there had a sad and sometimes brutal story to tell. But helping people who truly needed it had been giving Andrea a satisfying sense of purpose. Today, while not proud of it, she was more concerned with herself than anyone in the shelter.
Finally she was able to leave, and she drove home wishing she could shake her dark and gloomy mood. When she got home, she sat at her small, elegant desk in her den, checked her voice mail and listened to messages from last night’s guests thanking her. Courtesy was a high priority with her friends, and the additional thanks were no surprise.
Neither was Keith’s voice in her ear. “Andy, you said it was all right to phone today, so that’s what I’m doing. Sorry I missed you, but maybe you’ll call me back. My number is 555-2777. I’d like us to get together. We could have dinner out or simply meet at your house or mine for some conversation. Anywhere is fine with me, so name it if you have a preference. I’d just like to see you. Uh, guess that’s it. Call me, please.”
Andrea put down the phone and then sat numbly. For her, the day had been emotionally painful. She’d teetered all day on the very edge of a really powerful crying spell, and would seeing Keith again so soon change that? She found it hard to believe that it might.
Why was this happening to her? She hadn’t found celibacy trying before this, probably because no other man had moved her in the way Keith had last night. Also, she really hadn’t given any other man an opportunity to move her. Keith Owens had brought that obviously ignored and hidden side of herself into the sun, and why? How? Why him?
Why not him? she thought woefully. He had been her first love, after all.
Only she’d really known nothing at all about love at the time…certainly nothing of the physical side of love in college. All her fault, of course. She’d been so determined to be a virgin on her wedding night that she’d probably driven Keith away.
You most certainly did not drive him away! He did that himself by offering you a business proposition instead of offering you an engagement ring!
Yes, she’d been embarrassingly naive, but that had been a long time ago. She hadn’t been even slightly naive last night and he’d walked away from her! Dammit, after all the chasing after her he’d done lately, she had a right to know why.
Reaching for the phone, she punched out Keith’s number. He answered on the third ring.
“Hello,” she replied to his greeting. “This is Andrea. I’m returning your call, and this may surprise you but I would like to get together this evening.”
“This evening?” Keith echoed in surprise.
“Oh, didn’t you mean tonight?”
“Yes…uh, yes! Tonight is great. Would you like to have dinner out?”
“No, I don’t think so. Let’s meet somewhere after dinner.” She realized that she wasn’t especially keen about his SUV showing up in her driveway again tonight, even though she really didn’t care w
hat the neighbors might think. But Keith was so well known in Royal, and deliberately inviting gossip didn’t seem sensible, either. “How about…” She searched her mind for a place of privacy.
“Come to my house,” Keith said brusquely. “I’ll leave one of the garage doors open and you can park inside. No one will ever know you fell off the wagon and actually went to see a man.”
She gasped. “Must you be so crude?”
“I was just beginning to believe that we both finally grew up,” he retorted.
“Keith, I don’t understand what’s going on with us. Does that make me immature? I thought maybe if we did some talking…well, that’s the reason I called. I…I’m not sure I know myself anymore and I sure as the devil don’t know the man you are now.”
“So all tonight is to you is a means to pick my brain. Okay, fine, I can live with that. I’ve been thinking we should do some talking anyhow. Maybe I don’t know you anymore, either, and I want to, Andy, I want to know you in every way possible. What time should I expect you?”
After his statement of wanting to know her in every way possible she wondered if she shouldn’t just cancel the whole thing. But she couldn’t let sleeping dogs lie, not about this. He had finally succeeded in opening her eyes to the past, to the boy he’d been, the young man, to the many wonderful old memories she’d tried to bury, and he was not walking out of her life again as easily as he’d done in college.
“Around nine,” she said flatly. “No, make it ten.”
“After dark, huh?”
“Did you think I would deny it?”
“Andy, my sweet, I don’t know what to think about anything you might say or do these days. But I’d like to. See you at ten.”
Seven
Andrea paced and worried. Going to Keith’s home bothered her. She wasn’t ready for that step and should have thought the whole bizarre thing through better and had a specific meeting place in mind before calling him.
Irritated at her own reckless haste, she made a decision and dialed Keith’s number again. When he answered she came right to the point.
“Andrea here. Are you free now?”
Keith was taken aback. “I’m hot and sweaty from working out in my home gym, but sure, I’m free. Well, maybe not free. You know the old joke. I might not be free, but I’m cheap.”
“Yes,” she said dryly. “I know the old joke. It doesn’t apply, Keith. Not to me and not to you. We each come with loads of baggage.”
“Meaning?”
“Thirty-eight years of baggage needs explanation?”
“Oh, I see what you mean. Okay, what’s the pitch?”
“I’ve changed my mind about coming to your house and concealing my car in your garage. Lurking around in the shadows seems a bit too melodramatic. Anyhow, if you have the time now, I’d like us to meet in the park.”
“Any particular place in the park?” he asked in his most pronounced Texas drawl, his way of letting someone know that he thought they just might be an egg or two short of a full dozen. Truth was, Andrea kept surprising him, and while some of her surprises were great, some were pretty far out and tough to swallow.
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Where do you want to meet? It’ll take me about twenty minutes to shower and make the drive.”
“I intend to walk, so twenty minutes should be just about right. You remember where the old cannon is, don’t you?”
“I know where it is, yes.”
“Well, that’s where I’ll be.”
“Fine. See you in a few.”
Andrea hung up, then hurried to her bedroom to change into slacks and walking shoes. In minutes she was leaving the house and heading for the park. It was a glorious evening. Night was just beginning to fall, and the darkening of the sky combined with a spectacular sunset created a golden twilight. Hurrying along, she said hello to the people she encountered in her neighborhood without stopping to chat. An evening like this got folks outside, and she began worrying about how populated the park might be.
When she reached Royal Park, she relaxed considerably. There were people, quite a few of them, but no one was close to the old cannon, which resided on a square of cement and bore a bronze plaque honoring the bravery and patriotism of Texas men and women. Someone kept both the cannon and plaque polished, which always pleased Andrea although her thoughts were not on that small pleasure this evening.
She was on pins and needles, actually, anxious to talk to Keith and yet apprehensive. The truth was, now that she was here, what exactly was she so adamant about discussing with Keith? His college attitude? Hers? Good Lord, no.
Several benches faced the cannon, and Andrea chose one. She couldn’t see the parking area from where she sat, which made watching for Keith rather difficult. She waited, grew impatient, checked her watch and waited some more. He was late.
Becoming more annoyed with his inconsiderate tardiness by the minute, she realized that people, especially those with small children, were leaving as darkness encroached on the lovely twilight. The park was emptying for the night and she was sitting in a particularly isolated spot. The old cannon was not near the children’s play areas, nor was it near the lake or gazebo. It was, in fact, quite by itself on the south end of the large park, the main reason she’d chosen it for this meeting. But Keith wasn’t there, and dusk was settling in quickly. There were lights in the park, of course, and heaven knew she wasn’t normally a fraidy cat. Royal had a very low crime rate, but ever since the murder of that man who worked for Wescott Oil, Eric Chambers, everyone in town had been just a little bit on edge, a little more watchful. After all, the police appeared to be baffled and Eric’s murderer could be anyone—even someone she knew!
That thought took her breath. Surely no one she knew could commit murder! Oh, what a horrible thing to think about at this particular time and place.
“Andrea?”
She nearly jumped out of her skin. Keith bounded around the bench and sat next to her. “Sorry I’m late. Just as I was about to leave, I received an important phone call. I couldn’t cut it short. A business thing.”
A “business” thing solely about Dorian Brady, which Keith couldn’t possibly explain to Andrea. It was Sebastian who had called with the unnerving news that Dorian appeared to be preparing to leave town. “It’s not certain, Keith, but it’s a possibility. We have to step up our surveillance.” They had set a meeting for first thing in the morning.
“And, of course, business always comes first,” she intoned.
Frowning because she sounded much more knowledgeable than was possible, Keith peered at her. The only “business” of his she knew about was Owens Techware, and he replied in that vein. “At one time yes, but not anymore.” He turned on the bench and settled his arm along the top of its back.
His arm touched Andrea’s shoulders lightly. She was beautiful in the dusky light, her complexion glowing with good health and her dark hair a perfect frame for her perfect face. Oddly, they were dressed alike, in khaki slacks and white shirts. It would have been fun to kid about the two of them in matching outfits, but Andrea didn’t laugh easily these days. Something deeply personal kept Andrea walking a very straight line, in fact, and Keith had only bits and pieces of clues about what it might be. All he could think of was that her marriage hadn’t been as magical as she’d tried to make him believe.
But he had as many questions about himself as he did about Andrea. Last night’s kiss between them had sizzled, and he’d run. That still puzzled him and even made him wonder if he would run again.
At any rate, he wasn’t making a pass at the moment, he was merely getting more comfortably positioned to view Andrea as they talked. “Actually, my ex called my dedication to business ruthless. She said I had tunnel vision,” he added.
“You’re sorry about all that now, of course.”
“Sorry? No, I’m not sorry. I accomplished what I set out to do, and Candace knew who and what I was when we married.
I didn’t change, she did. While we were dating she couldn’t praise and encourage my ambition enough. In her eyes I was perfect, and I was besotted enough to believe she meant it. Well, she meant it until after the ceremony and I swear to God that we weren’t married five minutes before she started trying to change me into someone else.”
“I’m sure you’re exaggerating. Five minutes?”
“I’m not exaggerating by much, Andy. Answer me this, did you change your husband?”
“Marriage changes everyone to a certain extent.”
“But did you deliberately try to turn him into someone other than the man you married?”
Andrea paused to think, to remember, and if she were to be totally honest, she would have to say yes, because she had tried desperately to make Jerry listen to his doctors. One could say she’d nagged him all the way to the grave.
Oh, God, what a morbid subject! “Let’s talk about something else,” she said sharply.
“My question made you uncomfortable.”
“Yes, it did!”
“Which leads me to believe you tried as hard to change Jerry as Candace did me.”
“Look, that’s all over with, for each of us. I don’t care to discuss your marriage or mine. It’s certainly not the reason I asked you to meet with me.”
“Okay, what is the reason?”
With tension tightening her every cell, Andrea stared off across the darkening park. Only a few people were still there, and they were sitting or strolling near the lake.
Finally, reluctantly she spoke. It might not be the best beginning to a conversation with such a blurred topic, but it was the best she could come up with. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”
Keith cocked his eyebrow. “And you’re blaming me?”
The Bachelor Takes a Wife Page 9
