He shrugged. “Then I’ll find somewhere else; somewhere there aren’t freakish women who trap humans for food and throw their bodies in moats around their houses.”
“If you’re human, you’ll be vulnerable.”
He smiled, glancing my way. “We’re all vulnerable. Even night-walkers can be killed. Even you, a hybrid, can be taken down by a simple plant toxin. We lie to ourselves, telling ourselves that we’re stronger than everything else out there, but we aren’t. It’s an illusion. Control. Power. Strength. It’s fleeting. All of it.”
“Why don’t you stay a night-walker if you leave? You’ll be better able to protect yourself.”
He slowed his steps. “I’ve thought of that, but I don’t know.”
“Just until you’re safe,” I urged.
“Maybe.”
My legs began to quiver as I lowered the bucket down into the dark water, black and glassy and reflecting the light sky above me and the crows that flew overhead.
“Are you okay?” Saul asked, grabbing the rope from my hands.
“Yeah. I just need to feed.”
“I can look for meat,” he offered.
It wasn’t meat that I needed. Not now. My body needed human blood, but thus far, I’d made it days without it. I didn’t want to scare any of the people here. They had been through too much lately.
“Oh, I get it,” he said. “Ford will be here soon.”
I hated feeding from my brother, and he would need his strength to keep driving the horses back and forth. It wasn’t a crazy long journey, but made often, it would seem like it after several days.
“Stop overthinking it. Either feed from him or ask someone else for help. You can’t push it too far. You’ll snap.”
“You’re handling Frenzy well.”
“Am I?” he asked, pulling more leaves from his pocket and placing them on his tongue. “I feel like all I do is chew this stuff, and while it makes me not want to eat the entire town, I’m always hungry. It doesn’t erase it or even hide it.”
“That’s why you want to change back so quickly? Mercedes did, too.”
“I’m not your sister, and I want to change because I have no reason to stay a night-walker. When I leave, I’ll leave alone. I’ll be alone. And I’d rather be me, the real me, than be anything else when I go.”
What could you say to that?
Garreth approached, his heavy steps displacing more gravel than those of non-giants. “Thank you for everything, Porschia. Saul, how are you?”
I nodded and Saul answered for me. “She needs blood.”
Garreth’s eyes widened. “You’re hungry?”
“I’m okay.” It was a lie. My fingers trembled, so I tucked them behind my back, lacing them together to steady them.
“She’s lying. She thinks it’ll scare everyone if she feeds.”
Garreth shook his head. “I’ll feed you. We can go into your dwelling if you’re shy.”
“I’m not shy, I just don’t—”
Garreth held his meaty hand up to stop my mouth. “This is why you feeding wouldn’t scare anyone. You don’t feed for sport or to frighten people into submission. You simply satisfy a need. Like drinking water or eating food. Your body needs blood and you take only what you need.”
I nodded. I didn’t like blood, but had to consume it or else sickness would consume me. Taking too much made me just as ill.
“Thank you,” I whispered, following him up the hillside toward my temporary dwelling.
“It’s the least I can do,” Garreth said sincerely. Saul stayed at the well. I knew his control was a fraying rope and the scent of blood could snap it entirely. He would stay and see that the plants got watered.
“Could I take a little more than I normally would, Garreth? Not too much, just enough to feed Saul?” I asked as I stepped into the room behind him. “You’re a large person, so you won’t feel strange from me taking a little extra.”
“It’s fine, Porschia. Do what you need to. You’ve earned my trust. And I’ll help you – any time, for any reason. Understood?”
I nodded, swallowing back the tears that clogged my throat. “Thank you.”
I drank fast and only took enough for both of us.
Garreth stood, ducking to avoid scraping his head on the ceiling. “Do you want me to go get him?”
“Please.” I watched him duck outside, the light of day filtering into the room.
Tage was going to kill me, but Saul needed to be fed and Ford was gone. Mercedes left with Ford on the wagon at his side, clutching a basket in her hands and one between her ankles.
She thought I was angry with her for leaving.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t remain a night-walker,” she said as I handed the second basket to her.
“Why would you apologize for that, Cede? No one wants to be a monster.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. You’re not a monster.”
I smiled slightly. “I know you didn’t, and I don’t blame you for wanting to feel normal.”
She swallowed. “I wish things were different and that you could be healed. I know you probably know that already, but it’s true and I want you to hear the words directly from my mouth.”
I inclined my head. “Thank you.”
“I love you, Porsch.”
I pursed my lips. “I love you, too. And you, Ford.” My brother was staring forward, pretending not to hear our conversation. A blush crawled up his neck as he nodded.
“You too,” he answered. “Take care while we’re away.”
Laughing, I told him, “I think I should warn you, not the other way around.”
His eyes found someone behind me and he waved for a moment, offering a smile. When I looked over my shoulders, Delilah’s hand was raised, waving back.
Ford stood. “I have to go and harness Boots. She’s holding him so you can say goodbye.”
“It’s not goodbye,” I growled.
“Not a final goodbye, but it’s goodbye for today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Everyone should be in Blackwater within the week. We’ll all be together soon.”
I knew it, but ‘goodbye’ was too final a word. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I vowed; moving away before he could say the awful word again, so he could harness up Boots without me spooking the animal.
I watched Garreth leave the house and walk straight to Saul, leaning in to whisper something to him. The giggling children nearby were too loud for me to filter them out and let Garreth’s words in. Saul, ever the Boy Scout, made a beeline to Porschia, who was still inside.
And then he closed the door behind him. I could only imagine how he felt being alone with her, and why she allowed it was beyond me. What could she possibly need him for? She had me. She had Roman. Her brother and father. Mercedes. She didn’t need Saul anymore.
Sure, he was convenient for a time, offering to save her from her mother and to marry her.
He was a distraction. That was it.
He wasn’t even a friend, no matter how hard she tried to be friendly with him. The truth of what he did would always be thick between them, viscous and ugly.
I saw red, and then I blurred out of Mountainside and into the forest before I tore apart Saul, Porschia, and anyone else who got in my way.
Things were changing. I thought I could stop it. I was wrong.
Garreth told me that Porschia needed me. She already felt pretty awful before she fed, and I thought maybe the feeding didn’t calm her down or ease the pangs of hunger. I didn’t understand what she went through until I experienced it firsthand, and even now I wasn’t sure I fully grasped the pain she went through. Turning into a vampire hurt. The light hurt your eyes. Your stomach ached. Your joints ached. You felt like everything in you was melting, reforming, and warming up to melt again. But the change didn’t last forever. The hunger? It did. It never left you.
That was what made a night-walker go insane, what caused the Frenzy – the hunger. Unquenchable thirst. A fire that no amount of water cou
ld extinguish. Pain and agony and constant fear.
When I knocked twice on the door, she called out for me to come in.
After I stepped inside, I saw that she was sitting on an overturned bucket with her hands folded in her lap. She stared at them like they were foreign to her, like they were about to harm her and she was frightened, waiting for it to happen but powerless to stop it.
“Are you okay?” I asked, quietly.
“I am now.”
“Garreth said you needed me.”
She played with the poison ring on her right hand, twisting it around and around in a circle. “You saved me that day. You told me to use my ring.”
Swallowing back my words, I listened. I wanted to tell her that I’d damned her. I thought the vampire blood would save her by pushing the Infection from her body and be powerful enough to rid her of the virus. It wasn’t. I was wrong and she was the one who paid the price.
After Mercedes bit me on the raft, Porschia ran after me, screaming for me to use the ring. But she didn’t see me get bitten, and I was too afraid of becoming both monsters. I wasn’t strong enough to handle both curses. Not like Porschia.
“I want to ask you for a favor,” she said, her eyes flicking up to mine.
“Anything,” I croaked. “I’ll do anything for you.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Feed from me.”
My heart stopped and then began to pound. I didn’t expect that. “I can’t.”
“You can,” she assured me. “I took enough from Garreth to feed us both, and I’ll be sick if you don’t take some away.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand. I can’t control it well. I might take too much.”
“I’ll risk it,” she said, jutting her chin out stubbornly.
My fingers flexed. The scent of Garreth’s blood lingered in the air between us. If I did this, it would change everything. “I know about the bond. If I did this, you would be bonded to me.”
“I know that,” she whispered.
“Why, then?”
“Honestly?” she asked.
“Yes.”
Taking in a deep breath, she stood up and walked toward me slowly. “Two reasons. First, I know you need to feed and are afraid of hurting someone. You can’t hurt me, Saul. And if you start to take more than I want you to, I will and can stop you.”
“Secondly?”
“Secondly, I want to make sure you’re okay until you aren’t a vampire anymore. Until you change back, we’ll be linked.”
“And Tage has nothing to do with any of this? Do you know how angry this will make him?”
“I’ll talk with him. There’s a third reason.”
“I already know what it is,” I growled. “You want to know if your bond with him is responsible for his loving you. It isn’t. He’s looked at you, wanted you, since we were still in the rotation. But he was in Frenzy. Roman told me.” I stepped back from her. “So the question is really, will I let you use me for a short time in order to quench this fucking thirst?”
“Yes,” she said boldly. “That’s the quest—”
I didn’t let her finish the word, or her sentence. I took a stride, grabbed her waist, and buried my fangs into her neck. Her heart thundered. I could hear the drumming in my ears. Or was that my heart?
She smelled like fresh flowers and tasted like sugar.
So. Sweet.
I gathered her toward me but she pushed me back. Growling on her neck I pulled her to me again. She pushed harder. Then she kneed me. Right in the balls. Only aware of the pain that made me nauseous, I must have let Porschia go. Grabbing her neck, she backed away from me.
Glaring.
I was grunting in agony as she glared at me like she was going to kick my ass, and in my state, she’d be able to. “What the hell was that for, Porschia?!”
“You were taking too much!” she retorted. She released her neck and clutched her heart before balling her fingers into fists. “Why are you so angry with me? I told you what I’d do if you did it!”
“I’m angry because you hurt my testicles!”
“You were going to kill me!” she shouted.
“Don’t be so overdramatic!” Both of us were screaming and I knew people had to be hearing it all. And the person I figured would come to her rescue first, did.
Tage threw open the door and ran to her side. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Porschia said sternly, her face made of stone. She wasn’t going to tell him.
“She kneed me in the balls.” I was still bent at the waist.
“Why would she do that?” He tilted his head at a weird angle and then sprang at my throat. The back of my head hit the earthen wall, shaking it. The ceiling began to crumble and dirt and dust rained down on all of us.
“You’ll bury us alive!” Porschia shrieked.
“We’re undead, kitten. We’d make our way out. Eventually.”
She glared at me again as Tage tightened his fist around my neck. “Why. Did. She. Knee. You?”
“Because,” I started.
But it was Porschia who grew a pair and told him herself. “Because I made him feed from me and he took too much.”
Tage released me and my feet hit the floor faster than I expected. I caught hold of the wall to keep from falling on my face, or God help them, on the boys. She was strong as hell. They might never recover.
Tage’s face contorted into a half-pained, half-angry, and all-hurt look. “You did what?”
Porschia squared her shoulders before answering, “He needed to feed. He was about to lose it.”
“That’s a flimsy fucking excuse. Why did you bond with him? Are you still in love with him?” he asked. I prayed she said yes, because hearing that come from her mouth would go a long way towards easing the pain.
“That isn’t why and you know it,” she said, stepping toward him and reaching for his hand. “You can feel it.”
Tage recoiled. “Then why?”
“I wanted to make sure this is real,” she said, barely above a whisper. “What you feel for me. I need to know it’s not just about our bond.”
“And if it is? If it’s because of the bond, will you leave me for him?” Tage paced back and forth, effectively blocking my escape route, even though I knew they needed to talk privately. “What if it’s not? Then will you believe me? But not NOW? Not when I’m standing in front of you, telling you that I love you? I would lay down my life for you, Porschia. God damn it all!” he roared. “What do I have to do to prove it to you?”
A crimson tear leaked from her left eye and then her right.
She shook her head, silently telling him she didn’t know.
Tage threw his hands in the air instead of around her. “I don’t know either.” Then he walked out the door.
Lydia smiled at me. “Thank you for changing me. I feel electric, like I could shoot lightning from my fingertips.”
“It’s because you just changed. You’ll need to feed to keep the feeling. There’s someone in the bedroom.”
“Pierce?” she asked with a smile.
“Go see.” I nodded my head toward the door. She twisted the golden knob, easing it open and then squealing.
“He’s so young. I love the innocent ones.”
I followed her inside. Ford stood across the room, backed into the corner. “Thank God you’re here, Porsch.”
“Don’t thank anyone,” I told him.
He tried to figure me out, puzzled by my words, and then shook his head.
“You won’t eat me,” he told himself.
“I won’t,” I told him as Lydia approached.
She ran to him and smiled, easing his head to the side. “But I will,” Lydia answered. “It’s only fair, you know. A brother for a brother.”
She sank her teeth into Ford’s neck and I woke with a start, having fallen asleep sitting against the wall, my neck sore from being crooked too long. My forehead was covered in sweat, and my heart…my heart was scared to dea
th. What if Ford had to pay for what I did? What if Roman was reeling us both in so he could go in for the kill, making it hurt even worse when he did it?
Tage didn’t come back to Mountainside for two days, and when he did, he barely looked at me, quickly moving out of my sight. He stayed in the forest near the western side of the wall most of the time. I knew he felt the deep ache in my chest. The same pain was visible in the creases and lines showing on his face, the ones that usually weren’t there but would become etched into his skin in years to come if he became human and began to age again.
Saul’s hunger was getting harder for him to suppress. He was losing the battle and the war. When Ford came three afternoons later, I asked Saul to escort him back to Blackwater. When he asked why, I told him it was so he could feed properly. My family and his would help him. Imagining the looks on his parents’ faces, I cringed. They hated night-walkers. They were terrified of them, but I didn’t think they would be frightened of Saul. He was still their son.
He agreed to go without argument, the hunger having won out, and Roman quickly agreed to stay. He was bouncing with energy that no one else possessed and promised to put it to work finishing up the last of whatever needed to be done. The final group of people would be taken to Blackwater tomorrow. We only had one night remaining.
I finally told Mercedes what happened with Pierce. She didn’t say a word for the longest time and when she did, the only thing she did say was “Thank you.” I wondered what he’d done to her while she was Infected.
Every day Delilah orbited my brother, and every day he became more enamored with her. With each passing day, my anxiety over the pair of them increased. More often than not during the hours Ford was away, she was nowhere to be seen. I searched for her. Her scent was missing from Mountainside, so I decided to ask for help. Tage was too busy avoiding me, so Roman was the logical choice. I waited until the sky darkened, becoming an odd shade of green; when the wind began to howl around the mountain and the hail stones began to salt the earth. All of the humans covered their heads and took cover.
Roman worked steadily alone during the downpour.
Friction (The Frenzy Series Book 4) Page 12
