We stand, and she leads me into the kitchen.
“Did you guys get all your stuff from your old apartment?” I ask.
She nods as she digs me out a beer. “Yeah, we picked it up and took most of it directly to the country house.”
I snort. “The country house?”
She laughs. “That’s what we’re calling it. This,” she motions around the house we’re in, the house in the city, “is the townhouse.”
I laugh. “I don’t think that’s what townhouse means.”
She jerks her head toward me. “What do you mean?”
“Townhouses are those houses that are built side by side, like they have a front yard and a back yard, but no side yard because it’s built onto another house. It’s not a townhouse because it’s in town.”
She laughs. “Really?”
I nod and take a drink of my beer. “You really thought it meant that?”
She nods and laughs so hard, she snorts.
“Damon didn’t tell you?”
She’s now sitting on the floor, laughing and shaking her head.
I can’t help but join in on her laughter. “That’s funny. He probably thinks it’s cute that you think that.”
Her laughter dies down, and she wipes the tears from her eyes. Holding out her hand, I pull her back up.
She pops some popcorn, and we head back into the living room. “So, tell me about the new guy you’re seeing.”
“How do you know I’m seeing a new guy?” I ask, taking a big swig of beer.
“Come on, Mads.” She levels her eyes on me. “We’ve known one another for, like, our whole lives. You think I don’t know when you’re getting some? Spill it.” She grabs my knee and shakes it.
I laugh and roll my eyes. “I am seeing someone, but you can’t tell Damon.”
“Is it Bennet? It’s Bennet, isn’t it?”
I try not to smile, but I do as I shake my head. “We’re not together-together, though.”
She cuts her eyes to me. “What does that mean?”
“It means, we’re hanging out, we’re hooking up, but there’s no attachment. No strings. No nothing. When we’re together, we’re together. When we’re not, we’re not. That easy.”
She laughs. “Yeah, okay.”
“What?” I ask.
“That literally never works out, Mads. Have you not seen a movie in the last twenty years?”
“Do you not know me? All of my relationships are strictly friends with benefits.”
“Yeah because you pick duds that you get bored with after a few weeks. This one will be different. This one will either last forever, or it will break you forever.”
My mouth drops open. “What a mean thing to say!” I gently smack her leg, not trying to hurt the pregnant lady.
She shrugs. “It’s just how I see it.”
I shake my head. “No. No way. Bennet and I are two in the same. He doesn’t do love, and I don’t either. I’m keeping my distance. No way am I going to fall in love with Bennet Windsor.”
She snorts. “But is he keeping his distance? He’s clearly already invited you to stay the night. Did you sleep in the same bed? Did you spend the day together?”
“Yes and yes, but what does that have to do with anything?”
She turns herself so that she’s facing me instead of the tv. “How many hook-ups have you had?”
I shrug.
“Okay, well how many hook-ups have you had that lead to staying the night, sleeping together, and spending the whole next day together? Not to mention you work out together and work together.”
I look at her while I think.
Zero.
I mean, some have had many of those things, but not all. Never all. I didn’t stay the whole night with anyone until Travis. And even then, I never stayed the whole next day with him. If anything, it was a miracle even to have breakfast together.
Oh fuck. What if she’s right? What if Bennet is getting too close without even realizing it? This is definitely something I need to talk to him about.
“See, I told you,” Jazz says, fixing her eyes back on the tv but keeping the small grin on her face.
I sit back and drink my beer, thinking over everything she’s said. What would happen if Bennet and I got serious? Would we get married? Would I move into that big, fancy mansion of his? Would we have kids? I don’t want any of that. I don’t want to tie myself to another human being. I don’t want to bring kids into this world. Who wants to pass on this shitty existence to another person? And that mansion, don’t get me started. I’d much prefer a reasonably sized home that wouldn’t require a staff to clean.
“What in the hell are you thinking about so hard over there?” she asks, cutting through my thoughts.
“Moving to the country and living off the land,” I confess.
She laughs long and hard. “Okay, that’s not you. Where’s that coming from?”
I shrug. “I’m just tired. I’m tired of people and their standards. I’m tired of working as hard as I do and still struggling.”
“Whoa, didn’t you get a raise with that new job?”
I nod. “I did, but still. I’m working myself to death every day just to live. I mean, I can’t afford a real vacation. I can’t travel the world. Have you ever thought about how much money you spend at the store just to eat, and then you gotta spend more money on toilet paper! Vicious cycle,” I rant.
She takes my beer from my hands and places it on the table. She then stands and grabs my wrist, pulling me up.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
She takes me to the bathroom. “You’re seriously overstressed. I mean, did you listen to what you just said? Who thinks that? Take a long hot bath. There’s bath oil, bombs, and bubbles, everything you could possibly need. Light the candles. Play some soft music. Just unwind. Then, go to bed because I think you’re delirious. But Maddie, don’t let all the shit I just mentioned freak you out. If you think you have control of the situation with Bennet and you’ve both agreed to the terms…what do I know?”
I laugh and shake my head. “You're probably right. I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I confess.
She smiles wide and nods her head. “I bet. Mr. Boxer got all up in that, huh?”
I laugh and shake my head. “What? No. Get out!” I point toward the door, and she slips out, laughing the whole way.
I bend down and run the water for a bath. I dump in some fancy bubbles, and while the tub fills, I light the candles. Finally, I strip down and turn off the lights. As I slide deep into the tub, I pull up some music on my phone and set it on top of the toilet lid. I close my eyes and lean back, letting the scent of lavender and eucalyptus ease my worries away. I take a deep breath and feel like I’m exhaling all negative things away. My neck is sore and stiff, but the hot water helps to break up the tension. Before I know it, I’m fast asleep… until my phone rings. I jump awake and answer it quickly.
“Hello?” I answer.
“He knows,” Bennet says on the other end of the line.
“Who knows what? What are you talking about?”
“Your brother, he knows about us.”
I sit up quickly, causing the water to splash over the side of the tub. “How?”
“He invited me out for some drinks. We started talking about things. He told me about you coming to stay, then asked if I still raced. Then he asked if I still boxed, and then he put two and two together. He said you mentioned getting hit on by a hot boxer.”
“Fuck,” I whisper. “How’d he take it?”
“I’m not sure. He didn’t say anything else. He just stood up and left. So, expect him to come in hot.”
“Great,” I mumble. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Will I see you tomorrow?” he asks quietly, like he’s afraid I’ll say no.
“I don’t even know if I’ll be alive tomorrow.” Without another word, I hang up the phone and stand from the tub. I wrap a towel around myself and hit the drain. I f
lip on the light and start blowing out the candles when I hear a door slam.
“Where is she?” he asks Jazz.
“She’s taking a bath. What’s wrong?” she asks, quietly but also urgently.
He doesn’t answer.
I quickly open the door and step out into the hallway, nearly bumping into him.
“Bennet? Really?” His chest is rising and falling quickly. The vein in his neck is popping out, and his jaw is cocked. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him this mad.
“Damon,” I start, but he cuts me off.
“No, Madeline. For the first time in your life, just tell me the truth. Are you sleeping with Bennet?”
“I don’t think this is any of our business,” Jazz tries, but he doesn’t budge.
He stares me down, and I stare him down. Jazz stands off to the side, bouncing from one foot to the other, eyes flashing back and forth between us.
Finally, I take a deep breath. “Yes,” I admit.
He shakes his head and turns to walk away, but I follow after him.
“What’s the problem with Bennet? Huh?” I ask, following him into the kitchen.
He swings the refrigerator door open and snatches a beer. He twists the top open, tosses the cap in the trash, and takes a long drink.
“Didn’t you say many times that you wish I’d stop messing around with all these fuckboys and find someone that has a decent job, that’s a decent guy?”
He refuses to look at me.
“That’s what I thought, Damon.” I turn to leave, but stop myself, remembering I have no place to go. “You’re my brother, Damon. Not my dad. And I didn’t see you rushing to tell me when you started fucking my best friend, did you?”
“Is that why you’re doing this? To get back at me?” he asks, holding his arms out at his sides, cold green eyes locked on mine.
“What? No. No, I’m not trying to get back at you. I love that you two are together. I love that you both found someone equally great. I’m happy that you’re getting married and having a baby. I love that you two get your happily ever after. But why am I being treated like your fucked-up little sister when I try to do the same?” Without another word, I walk back down the hall and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I sit on the edge of the tub, and a deep breath escapes me. Tears fill my eyes, not because I’m hurt or sad, but because I’m angry. He’s my brother, and he’s Bennet’s friend. He should be happy that I’m with such a decent guy instead of Travis.
I hear a soft knock on the door and I dry my eyes. Jazz walks in holding a pair of clothes. “I knew you didn’t have anything, so I brought you some P.J’s.”
I take them. “Thank you.”
She nods. “Just give him some time. Remember how mad you were when you found out about us? He’ll come around, Mads. We’re going to bed, so the couch is all yours.”
I don’t look up until I hear the click of the door closing behind her.
I stand and pull on the clothes that she brought me while thinking about everything all over again: Bennet, Damon, what Jazz just said. I don’t see why I’m fighting so hard for something that doesn’t even really exist. I could end things with Bennet if I want to. But I don’t feel that I should. Damon doesn’t have the right to say who I can and can’t date—er… sleep with rather. I didn’t demand he stop seeing Jazz, and I hope he allows me the same opportunity. I know how I am. If you tell me no, I’ll want it that much more. If Damon tells me to end it with Bennet, I’ll fucking marry him to prove a point.
God, I hope I don’t end up married. I shake my head at myself.
I head to the couch in the dark house. Flopping onto the soft cushions, I pull the blanket up around me. For a second, I feel lonely and wish I would’ve stayed with Bennet, but that thought alone brings on a whole new fear, and I push it away just like everything else. I focus on how comfortable I am. I listen to the soft hum of the A/C unit when it’s on, and I count down the minutes until it starts back up. I look up at the blinds and watch as bits of dust dance around in the shine of the streetlights, almost like glitter. I focus on my heartbeat, wishing it were faster like it was last night when I was with him. A sigh leaves my lips. Is it Bennet I miss or his company? Is it the things he says, or is it the way he touches me and makes me feel alive? It’s all of it, I finally admit to myself.
I pick up my phone from the coffee table and debate on whether or not I should call him. Then see that it’s pushing midnight and figure I better not. I drop it back onto the table and curl myself into a ball. It seems like it takes forever, but I finally fall asleep.
10
Bennet
“You. You’re the boxer,” Damon says, narrowing his eyes at me.
My mouth opens, but no sound comes out. I can’t deny it, but I don’t want to admit it either.
He shakes his head, then pushes his way out of the booth, heading for the door. I stand up and watch him go, unsure of what I should do. He climbs behind the wheel of his Jeep and squeals the tires off the pavement as he leaves.
I sit back down and pull out my phone, calling Maddie.
After we talk, it feels like things are just a bigger mess than they were already. She wouldn’t give me an answer about seeing her tomorrow either. I tell myself that I’m overthinking, that I’ve just had too much to drink and need to sleep it off.
I stand and head back out to the parking lot. Crawling into the backseat, the driver asks where I want to go next. I quickly think it over, debating between my usual club or the house. A part of me wants to go have a few more drinks, maybe find someone to take home, but Maddie flashes into my head, and all I can say is, “Take me home.”
That reply only makes me think more. Maddie and I, we have an agreement. And nowhere in that agreement did it say we can’t sleep with other people. But I don’t want to sleep with other people. I just want her. How the hell did she get under my skin so quickly?
When we pull up to the house, I stumble my way in and up the stairs, falling into bed still completely dressed. It only takes seconds before I’m fast asleep.
My phone ringing pulls me from my dreams. I wiggle around until I can slide my hand in my pocket and pull it free.
“Hello?” I answer, still half asleep.
“Mr. Windsor, this is Nathan, your front gate guard. There is a Madeline Strickland trying to get in. Should I let her in or call the police?”
“Let her in,” I nearly yell. “Always let her in.”
“Yes, sir.”
I drop the phone onto the bed and stretch. Finally, I sit up and tug off my shoes.
Maddie walks in, a smirk on her face. “Did someone have a late night?”
I nod. “Late, drunk, whatever,” I mumble.
She crawls up onto the bed with me, pushing me back down. She holds her head up by one fist while her leg drapes over my hips.
“How’d it go with Damon?” I ask, rubbing my head.
“He had a fit. But today, when they got up for work, he didn’t say anything.”
“Fuck, work,” I mumble. “I should go in.”
“Or, you could hang out with me all day. You seem pretty hungover.”
“Thirty-year-old scotch will do that to you.”
She giggles, and it’s like music to my ears. “I’d love to, but I need to go in. And you need to go shopping for your formal dress for this gala,” I say, moving her leg off of me and attempting to stand.
“I can’t afford a new dress, Bennet. My apartment just burned down.” She sits up, one leg hanging over the edge of the bed.
I place my hand on her cheek, causing her to look up at me. “There’s a list of stores that I have an account with. I’ll give you the info, and you can go get a dress, shoes, jewelry, anything you want without having to pay a dime.”
“No, I can’t do that; it feels like you’re my sugar daddy,” she argues, shaking her head.
I sit on the bed and roll us so that I’m on top, even though it makes my head spin. “You already agreed
to go with me. Are you going to stand me up now?”
Her cheeks turn the slightest shade of pink. “Well, no.”
“Alright, then go shopping.” I press a kiss to her mouth before pulling away and standing. I can feel her eyes on me as I walk into the connected bathroom for my morning shower.
I’m standing under the flow of hot water, eyes closed while it pours down over my head. I feel a cold draft hit my back, then warm arms wrap around my stomach. I spin around and find Maddie, smiling up at me.
I let out a chuckle as I pull her lips to mine. Picking her up, she wraps her legs around my hips, and I press her back to the wall. My mouth devours hers, while my right hand rubs over her sensitive clit. I slide a finger inside, and she lets out a deep moan. That sound is like taking a lightning bolt to the dick. It jumps alive, pressing against her like it knows where it wants to be. Taking myself in hand, I place it at her entrance and push forward until we’re connected.
“I don’t want anyone but you, Maddie,” I whisper against her lips as I move my hips back and then forward again. “You’re different. You’re so goddamn beautiful and sexy. Smart and talented. Kind and sweet,” I say, pumping in and out of her with every word.
Her eyes open and lock on mine. All I can see is blue, like I’m looking into the deepest ocean. Her plump lips part with her heavy breathing and her nails dig into my biceps.
“Bennet,” she says in a hushed whisper.
“Maddie,” I reply, moving my lips back to hers. I kiss her deeply while never stilling my hips. I keep going, keep pushing her to feel me, to love me. I’ve never needed love from any woman, but with her, it’s all I want. I want her to love me. I want her by my side for the rest of my life. And if she wants marriage and kids, I’ll be more than willing to give her that. I’ll give her anything she asks for as long as I have her.
As my release rises to the surface, she begins moaning against my lips. Her muscles are squeezing my dick, making it extremely hard not to come this very second. Finally, when I feel her relax around me and her moans have quieted, I let go, riding out the waves of my orgasm and emptying myself onto the shower floor.
His Every Desire (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 8
