Bennet has been introducing me as a friend, a coworker, an employee: all things that I am. But the things I want to be, and the thing I’m not is his girlfriend. I can’t be mad at him. He’s only doing what he agreed to. I mean, I’m the one that asked to keep things simple before we got together, but now, I want more, and I hate myself for it.
I’m not a relationship kind of girl. I like having my own life. I like when the guy I’m seeing enjoys having his own life. I like being able to meet up in the middle and enjoy spending time together with no strings attached. So why have I suddenly changed? And how can I make it go away? When I walk out of this bathroom, I have to have my fake face back in place. I can’t tell Bennet any of this. I know how he feels, and I refuse to give him an ultimatum.
And even if everything came to light, what would I do about work? I’m not the kind of girl who sleeps with the boss. When and if I do get into a committed relationship, I don’t want to have to hide my life from my friends at work. And I don’t want everyone else spreading rumors about how I got the job I did. God, everything is such a mess.
I dry my eyes and slip out of the bathroom. As I walk toward the doors, I see Bennet still at the bar, but a woman with big boobs and blonde hair is keeping his attention, so he doesn’t see me. I exit the building and turn left down the sidewalk, just needing some time and space, not to mention air to clear my head. There’s a bench on the sidewalk, and I sit down, pulling my phone from my clutch.
“Hello?” Jazz answers.
“I’m so stupid, Jazz. I don’t know what to do.”
“What? Why? What’s wrong?”
I take a clearing breath. “I’m falling in love with him,” I confess.
“That’s great, Mads, but why do you sound upset?”
“Bennet and I agreed to keep things casual, to not do the whole relationship thing. I can’t tell him how I feel, but I know letting this go on will only make it that much harder in the end. I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh, honey. I think we both know there’s only one thing you can do.”
“Date other men and hope it wears off?” I ask, only half-joking.
She laughs. “No. Tell him how you feel. If your feelings have changed, maybe his have too.”
I feel my shoulders fall with the deep breath that leaves my lips. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
“Here you are. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming outside?” Bennet asks, walking up to me.
I hang up the phone without a word and slip it back into my clutch. “I just needed some air. It’s too stuffy in there.”
He nods as he sits next to me. “I know it is.”
“I didn’t want to interrupt. I saw you talking with that woman.”
He waves me off. “That was nothing. My mother sent her over. Another match-making attempt, I’m sure.”
I laugh. “At least she knows your type.”
I see him look at me from the corner of my eye. “She’s not my type.”
My brow lifts. “Big boobs, leggy, blonde hair: that isn’t your type?”
“Nope. I prefer dark hair and ivory skin. Thick red lips, soft skin, and icy blue eyes.”
Slowly, I look over at him. Our eyes lock, and for the first time, I think I see something brewing behind them: love.
Does Bennet love me? Would us getting together be such a bad thing? I mean, it’s not really any different than what we’re already doing. Everything I do with him outside of work is hidden from the people I work with.
“Bennet?”
“Hmm?”
“Something has changed.”
He nods. “I know.”
“You do?” I ask, not sure if he understands what I’m talking about.
“I do. Something has changed with us this week. I’ve never spent this much time with a woman before. I feel like the more time we spend together, the more I want you with me. And that scares me.”
“What do you think we should do?”
“I’ve been asking myself that question.”
I turn my head and look at the building directly in front of me, not happy that we still don’t have an answer for our problem, but at the same time happy that I’ve gotten it off my chest.
He holds out his hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
“You can do that?”
“I can do whatever I want.”
I place my hand in his, and he pulls me to his side. He leads me back to the front of the building and into our waiting limo. All the while, our pictures are being snapped by cameramen behind the ropes.
We both slide into the seat, and the moment the door is closed, the driver hits the gas. The cab of the car is dark, all but the running lights along the top. It’s not bright enough to do anything like read, but it’s enough light that I can see his face.
“Did it bother you when I told people that we are just friends or coworkers?” he asks, voice low and unsure.
I nod. “It did, and I hated that it did. First off, it’s only been a couple weeks since we met. I shouldn’t feel this way. Secondly, we both agreed to keep things casual. And lastly, we’d never work out. I mean, we’re already hiding what we’re doing from everyone in our lives. We can’t do that forever.”
He just sits and listens to my concerns, nodding his head as I tick off the reasons we won’t work long-term.
“So, what do you suggest?” he asks.
I shrug. “I was hoping you’d have the answer to that.”
“The way I see it, we have three options. We keep doing what we’re doing, we break up and go our separate ways, or we get serious and say to hell with the consequences.”
I laugh and roll my eyes. “If it were only that easy. You have these feelings too, right?”
He nods. “It’s all new to me, but I know the way I feel with you, I’ve never felt with anyone else.”
“So, you don’t want to go our separate ways?”
“No, I don’t want that. Do you want that?” he asks, suddenly looking up at me.
“No,” I breathe out, shaking my head. “But can you keep doing what we’re doing without knowing that it’s going to last? I mean, that’s what this is. It’s a relationship with no promises. What if I spend the next fifty years with you and one day decide that I’m done?”
“Marriage doesn’t mean that won’t happen either, Maddie,” he says, picking up my hand and holding it.
I nod. “To me, it does. I never wanted to get married because to me, it means forever. And I never found a man I thought I could be with forever… until you.”
He turns his head so that he’s looking at the rain that’s just starting to speckle the window.
“Are you saying that if I don’t want marriage, that we’re over?” he asks.
“No,” I reply, causing him to turn and look at me. “I’m saying that if it’s off the table completely, if there’s absolutely no chance of ever being your forever, then it’s over. But if there’s even a small part of you that thinks you could spend the rest of your life with me, I’d love to stay by your side and wait with you—wait for us both to be ready for that step.”
His eyes start bouncing around the inside of the cab, looking at anything and everything while he thinks it over. Finally, he looks back at me, our eyes meeting in the darkened limo. His hand slowly releases mine and moves up to cup my cheek. “I never thought I’d want any of this. I can’t promise that I won’t fuck up from time to time, but I do promise to be here, by your side, and let things between us grow. I won’t fight it. I won’t hold back. I’ll give you everything I have to give in the moment, and if things between us start moving in that direction, we’ll follow that road. Sound like a deal?”
“So, we’re together, like a couple?”
He smiles. “If that’s what you want.”
“What about family and work?”
“We’ll tell our families; work won’t change,” he promises.
Happiness fills my chest, and I smi
le wide, jumping into his lap and pressing my mouth to his. His hands land on my hips, pushing me down against his groin, where I rock myself back and forth across it. I bite his lower lip as I pull away.
“Mr. Windsor, are you happy to see me?”
He grins. “I’m happy to be able to say that you’re all mine.” He starts moving back in.
“I’ve been yours since you walked into that ring,” I whisper, kissing him with as much passion and love that can pour out of me.
We only pull apart long enough to get from the limo to the house, but the second we’re inside, he’s spinning me around and pushing me against the door. His lips are against mine, and his hands are moving up and down my back, trying to get it unzipped. Suddenly, I feel a jerk and hear the fabric ripping.
I gasp as I break our kiss. My eyes meet his, and he grins. “I told you I’m too impatient for zippers.” He pulls again, and the dress splits at the seams. The second he drops it and it falls around my feet, he picks me up against him, moving his lips back to mine. I wrap my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck as he carries me up the stairs and into his room.
When I open my eyes Saturday morning, I find Bennet laying next to me, still naked from the night before and eyes shining with happiness.
“Have you been watching me?” I ask with a sleepy smile.
He nods. “I couldn’t help myself,” he whispers, leaning in for a kiss.
I kiss him quickly but pull away, not wanting to chase him off with my morning breath. “What’s the plans for today?” I ask, stretching.
“I thought we’d hit up the races tonight. What do you think?”
I smile wide. “I’d love to. Are you going to race?”
“Not tonight. I thought that maybe we could invite Jazz and Damon to go with us. You know, since we discussed telling our family.”
“Really?”
He nods. “I told you, I want this. I’ve done this thing with many women, but I never had the urge to stay in bed all day with them like I do with you.” He cups my cheek. “Something’s different about you. I can’t shake it, and I don’t want to.” He leans in slowly, pressing his lips to mine.
We’re pulling into the races just as the sun is beginning to set. We park, hit up the concession stand, and then have a seat on the bleachers. I’m just finishing up with my hot pretzel when Jazz and Damon walk up.
“Hey,” I greet them, standing and pulling Jazz in for a hug. “Thanks for coming.”
She smiles. “We would’ve been here sooner, but Damon needed some persuading.”
I shake my head and roll my eyes. “Still not happy about this hook-up, huh?”
She shrugs one shoulder. “He’s coming around.”
Bennet stands up to greet them. “Damon,” he says, holding out his hand to shake.
Damon nods but doesn’t reply. He does shake his hand, though.
We all sit down and watch as the cars speed down the track, but nobody talks. Finally, I turn to Jazz. “I’m going to go grab some drinks. Want to help me?”
She nods. “Sure.”
When we get to the bottom of the bleachers, she leans in. “So, how’d it go last night? Did you tell him how you felt?”
I nod. “I did, and to my surprise, he feels the same way. We’re official, and this is us breaking the news to you guys.”
She laughs aloud. “That’s great, Mads.”
“But Damon…” I let my sentence break off.
She bumps my shoulder with hers. “He’ll come around. He’s just worried that Bennet will use you and leave you heartbroken.”
I let out a deep breath. “Why? Because it’s Bennet?”
She nods. “He said that Bennet has never committed to anything in his life, that he bounces from one girl to the next, that as soon as he gets tired of them, he’s pulling away. I think the only thing that will change his mind is time, you know? Once he sees that you and Bennet are serious and have been together for a while, things will be fine.”
I laugh. “Great, so I only have to live through ten years of his attitude.”
She moves her head from side to side, thinking it over. “Maybe only five?” Her face wrinkles like even she’s not sure.
We both laugh, and I bump my shoulder into hers. “I don’t know how I get myself into these messes, but they always find me.”
“You’re not the only one,” she agrees.
“Have you picked any baby names yet?” I ask as we wait in line.
“We discussed a few but haven’t settled on any. We don’t have to have our hearts set on any until we find out the sex of the baby.”
“How have you been feeling? Have you had morning sickness really bad?”
“Every morning. It’s killing me. But I figured out that I could drink some ginger ale and eat a Snickers, and I’d be fine within the hour.”
I laugh. “This baby must have a sweet tooth.”
She nods. “I was never big on a lot of sweets until I got pregnant. And I almost always had a salad for lunch, but suddenly, I can’t stand it. I’ll open the box, and the smell will hit me. I’ve puked every time.”
“This baby has to have some of my genes. You just described me to a T,” I joke.
“Well, you are the aunt.”
I lean my head against her shoulder. “I know I haven’t said this much, but I’m happy for you and Damon. I am.”
She offers a small smile. “I know but thank you for saying it.”
14
Bennet
When the girls leave to grab some drinks, I figure this is my chance to talk to Damon. I scoot toward him. “Listen, man,” I start, but he turns toward me, cutting me off.
“All the women in the city and you go after my sister? My baby sister?” He has a tick in his jaw that tells me he’s furious.
“I didn’t know she was your sister,” I admit.
“Yeah, right. Something tells me you knew exactly what you were doing.”
“Really? Is that how you think of me? I do nothing but go around doing things that would hurt the people I care about?” I pause to let him respond, but he doesn’t.
“The second my eyes landed on hers, something called to me. Something about her made my heart race; it made my stomach tighten. Just looking at her, I knew she was the one I wanted.”
“That’s my point. The one you wanted. You can’t tell me that this didn’t start because of your dick. All you wanted was a good time.”
“So what if I did? Are you saying that you weren’t attracted to Jazz?”
“What? No!”
“That’s my point. Every relationship, every marriage, it all started because two people were attracted to each other. And just like any other couple out there, once we started spending time together, things have grown past the sexual stage. I enjoy her company. Just seeing her smile makes me smile. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, man.”
We both go silent for a moment, letting everything sink in and also taking a moment to cool off.
“Are you saying that you two are in a relationship? Like an actual committed relationship?”
“Yes, that’s why we invited you here. We made the decision last night and wanted to start letting our friends and family know.”
“You’re not out banging other people?”
“I haven’t even looked at another woman since I met Maddie,” I admit.
“And how’s this going to work with the office and your family? Because I know your father and Maddie isn’t the type of woman he wants you with.”
I wave my hand in the air. “Screw my dad.”
His head jerks in my direction. “What if he tells you to dump her or to give up the company? Are you willing to do that?”
“Absolutely,” I say without hesitation. “We both know how little that company means to me. I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, the rest of our lives.”
He nods. “Okay. I’ll stop fighting this then. But I swear to God, Bennet, if you
hurt her, I will kill you. Understand?” He holds up his hand to shake.
I slap mine into his. “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” I agree.
“So, why aren’t you out there racing tonight?” He motions toward the track.
“I haven’t raced in a while. I ran the other day, and my time sucked. Plus, I’d rather sit in the stands with Maddie and watch her experience it all for the first time. It’s like a whole new world to her.”
He laughs. “Yeah, this is one place she never tried following me to—the only place I could get a break.”
“Tagalong, was she?”
His eyes grow wide. “You have no idea. And Jazz was always right alongside her. I couldn’t go anywhere without the two of them.”
I smile and turn my attention back to the track, wishing I’d met Damon sooner. I know that if I would’ve met Maddie before college, things would’ve been different for me. I never would have gotten in so much trouble; I’d never have gotten the reputation I have now for being a player. I know I would’ve set eyes on her and been done.
When the girls come back, they take their seats between us, and we all watch the race. Something feels different, like the air is thinner around us. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders, but then I remember we still have to tackle the hardest part: my parents.
“Are you sure about this?” Maddie asks Sunday morning as we’re getting dressed for brunch.
“Everything will be fine,” I say, tightening my tie.
“They’ve already met me, and they hate me.” Her brows are arched high, and she has a little worry line between her eyes.
“They don’t hate you,” I insist.
“Your dad couldn’t have looked less interested when you were telling him about me. And your mom, she kept trying to hook you up with other women even though she knew you were there with me. That doesn’t scream love to me.”
I place my hands on her biceps, forcing her to look at me. “It doesn’t matter what they say. Nothing is going to change. Besides, no matter who I bring home to them, it will never be good enough.”
His Every Desire (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 11
