12
Callan
I sit and watch as Valerie’s face grows redder by the minute. She goes from calm and collected to shooting Nikki dirty looks when she’s not looking. I’m waiting for her to say something, but I think she actually bites her tongue. I can tell when she flinches.
Nikki is a woman I’ve slept with every Tuesday for as long as I can remember. Half the time, I forget her name and refer to her as Tuesday. Since mine and Val’s first encounter, I’ve been avoiding her. Looks like she finally caught up to me. She’s a total flirt, and on more than one occasion, she’s even talked me into leaving the girl I was with at the time to go home with her instead. I can tell she’s trying that again now, but no way is it going to work. Even though I’ve slept with her more times than I have Val, Val has something on me. It’s like she sunk her hooks into me, and I can’t break free, no matter how much I try.
Finally, Val sits up. “Sorry to interrupt, but I really should get going.” She pushes back her chair and stands but freezes when I do the same.
Nikki looks up at me with a confused look on her face.
“Sorry, Nik,” I say, looking only at Valerie. “But I’ve got to go.” I hold out my hand, and Valerie smiles shyly and takes it.
“But…what?” Nikki asks when we walk away, but I don’t stop or turn back.
When we get outside, Val looks up at me. “You didn’t have to do that, you know?”
I scoff. “I certainly did have to do that.” I open her door and she slides inside.
I walk around and take my seat.
“Why?”
“Because I saw how jealous you were getting. Doesn’t feel good, does it?”
“I was not jealous,” she argues.
“Oh, really?” I ask, glancing at her from the corner of my eye.
“Really. I was just annoyed. It’s impolite to just sit down at someone’s table. It doesn’t matter if you know them or not. I mean, for all she knew, we could’ve been on a date.”
I laugh. “She didn’t care if we were on a date. I’ve been avoiding her, and she finally caught me.”
“Caught you?”
I nod. “I was sleeping with her every Tuesday…up until we started messing around.”
Her head quickly turns to look over at me. “Are you saying that you haven’t been with anyone else since we’ve been hanging out?”
I nod. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
I turn to look at her, expecting to see her smile. But instead, she looks freaked out. She slumps down in her seat slightly, and her eyes flash over to look out the passenger side window.
Neither of us says another word on the way to the office so she can get her car. I pull into the parking lot, right next to it.
“Callan,” she says, looking over at me, concern painting her face. “We can’t get serious. My brother, remember?”
I nod. “I’m not worried about your brother, Val.” I lean toward her. My hand cups her cheek, and I pull her in for a kiss. “You’re worth it,” I whisper.
“You want to be exclusive?” Her brows pull together as a confused look takes over.
I smile and let out a deep breath. “I don’t know, Val. I’m confused. I’ve never wanted this with anyone, but I can’t get you off my mind. That has to mean something, right?”
She nods. “Yeah, it means were good in bed together. That’s it. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, Callan.” Her words are rushed. I can tell she’s freaking out from my confession.
“Well, have you been with anyone else since we started…you know?”
She shakes her head.
“I think that’s your answer, Val. What we’re doing now, it will be no different.”
She takes a deep breath and lets it come out in a rush.
Again, I lean over and kiss her. “Just think about it. No pressure.”
She nods and exits the car. I sit back and watch as she climbs into her own and drives off.
Any other woman, and they’d be head over heels that I want to commit. But Val, she’s something else. She’s like the female version of me. And here I am, a guy that sleeps with more women in a week than some guys get in a year, and I’m asking for more. No wonder she’s freaked out. She doesn’t know if she can trust this, trust me.
I decide that even if she tells me she doesn’t want to be exclusive, I’m going to hold out hope. Make her see that she can trust me. Make her want me as badly as I want her.
On my drive home, I think about her some more, wondering why she’s so different. She’s beautiful, kind, down to earth, and not a spoiled brat. She knows what she wants, and she doesn’t settle for less. And somehow, she’s managed to overlook our fucked up past. She sees the guy I am, not the boy I was.
Instead of driving home, I make a last-minute turn and swing by a private club. It’s not a dance club. It’s more of a wealth club. Everyone has to pay twelve grand a year to have a key. A single glass of bourbon runs about twenty-seven bucks. But it’s a place we can go to get away and be around people with similar problems.
I use my key to let myself in the door. There’s some light jazz music playing in the background as I take a seat at the bar.
“How you doin’, Cal?” Jeanie asks as she places a coaster down on the bar for my drink.
“I’m doing good,” I say. “Can I get a glass of scotch?”
“Of course.” She quickly walks away to pour my drink.
I look around me and only find a few people sitting at the tables, no two people together. Everyone is quiet, lost in thought.
Jeanie brings my drink back, and I pass her a fifty. “Keep the change.”
She smiles kindly. “Thank you.” She leans against the bar. “Have you been fraternizing with the riff-raff? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
I nod and take a sip. “I guess I have. I met a woman, and we haven’t spent much time out of the bedroom, if you know what I mean.”
She laughs and playfully smacks my hand. “Tell me about her.”
I feel my eyes glaze over when I start thinking about her. “She’s tall and thin, and beautiful. She has dark hair and green eyes. She’s smart and kind and creative. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t get her out of my head.”
“Sounds like you’re falling in love,” she points out.
I laugh. “Me? Love?” I shake my head “No.”
Her brow lifts as she studies me.
Fuck. Am I falling in love? It can’t happen that quickly, can it? Damnit, no wonder Val is freaking out. She can see it too. I’m fucking falling in love with her while she’s playing my usual game. How the hell did this happen? I’m always careful. I don’t let women get under my skin. I keep them at arm’s length. I always leave them wanting more. But this time, Val’s left me wanting more, every time she’s walked away.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to freak you out,” Jeanie says, pushing her red hair behind her ear.
I shake my head, finish my drink, and stand. “I have to go,” I mumble, rushing back out the door.
I find myself sitting in my office, another drink in hand. I lean forward in my leather chair, resting my elbows on my knees as I watch the flame in the fireplace dance around. The wood pops and cracks, and it helps all other sounds to fade away. My head is empty; not a single thought crosses my mind. Finally, there’s peace.
I hear a knock on the door, and I stand to answer it. Pulling it open, I find Nikki on the other side. She smiles and holds out a bottle of Johnny Walker. I laugh and take it, motioning for her to come in with my head. I lead her back to my office, where she takes a seat while I open the bottle and pour us both a glass. I hand her the drink and sit on the leather couch beside her.
She takes a sip, then swirls the liquid. “You seemed off tonight. I wanted to check in.”
I shrug. “I’m fine, a little confused, but fine.”
She tilts her head to the side as she examines me. “Confused? About what?”
I let out a deep
breath. “I started fantasizing about a woman I knew I couldn’t have for several reasons. She’s someone that is just like us. She doesn’t do the relationship thing. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t. I gave in and took what I wanted. Again and again. And now, something is off. I want to change. I don’t want to be single and blowing my way through women. And that scares me. But what scares me more is how I’m feeling about this woman that doesn’t seem to want anything but a good time.”
Her hand lands on my back, and she lets out a soft laugh. “Oh, Callan. We’ve all been there a time or two. It just comes with the territory when you are the way we are. We keep people at arm’s length. We try to keep our feelings in check, but we’re only human. Sometimes, those feelings creep up on us.”
“Are you saying you’ve been in love before?”
She smiles and rolls her eyes. “A few times.”
“How’d it work out?” I ask, looking over at her.
“Once I realized how I was feeling, I turned and ran the other way. Eventually, with time and space, all feelings fade away.”
“Do they, though, or do you just push them away every time they start creeping back up?” I lean back, setting my glass on the end table.
“Just avoid this woman and you’ll see. Every day that passes, you’ll think of her a little less, until one day, you don’t think of her at all.”
I look up just as she’s crawling into my lap, straddling me. Her hands cup my cheeks as she looks into my eyes.
“Let me help you forget all about her,” she whispers, moving in and pressing her lips to mine.
My head is a bit of a mess, and I don’t think about anything but this moment. I let my eyes flutter closed as she kisses me. Her tongue slides into my mouth, and her hips start grading against mine. I breathe her in. I can feel her soft lips, but I feel nothing else. There is no dying need to be inside her like there is with Valerie. There’s no tingles, no excitement. There’s nothing. I force myself to wait a bit longer, hoping that maybe I’m just drunk and the usual feelings will kick in, but after several long minutes of her kissing me and touching me, I break away.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t,” I tell her, sliding her off of me and onto the couch. “You should probably go, Nikki.”
She looks at me, surprised. I’ve never told her no before. But once she gathers her emotions, she stands up and leaves without a word. The sound of the front door slamming fills my ears.
I grab my phone and send a text.
Can you come over?
While I wait for a response, I pour another drink.
I hear the door open, and I stand to check it out. Maybe Nikki forgot her purse or something. When I round the corner, I bump into Valerie. My elbow touches her arm, and just that simple touch causes a storm to brew. My emotions are running rampant, lighting every nerve ending, causing tiny explosions and fires to break out through my body.
I look down at her, mouth open with no words coming out.
She smiles up at me. “I was already on my way.”
I reach out, placing my hands on either side of her face as I pull her mouth to mine. She kisses me back with passion and excitement as her hands wrap around my neck. I press her back to the wall and look down at her.
“I can’t do it anymore, Val,” I admit.
“Can’t do what?” she asks, voice strained.
“I can’t keep seeing other women.” I let out a long breath. “When I’m with them, I feel nothing. All I want is you.” I kiss her quickly, but then add on, “I don’t care if you want to see other guys. But I’m only going to be with you.”
Her lips turn up into a smile. “I don’t want to see anyone else, Callan. I don’t know if we’ll work, but I do know that nobody else can compare to you.”
I smash my mouth against hers and kiss her deeply as relief and happiness wash over me. The fear of Bennet finding out doesn’t even cross my mind. It can’t, because when I’m with her, I only see her.
13
Valerie
ONE MONTH LATER…
* * *
The workday is almost over, and I couldn’t be more ready. All day long, I’ve had to sit across from Callan while he sends me sexy text messages of all the dirty things he promises to do to me tonight. Every muscle is tense from trying to hold off the flood of passion that he causes me to feel.
I shut off my computer and grab my purse just as he’s walking toward the door. His hand is on the knob, but he doesn’t move to open it. He places his other hand on my cheek. “I’ll see you at my place?”
I nod as a smile takes over. “I’ll be there soon,” I promise.
“Not soon enough,” he whispers, lowering his mouth to mine.
He kisses me softly, but deeply. Before, when Callan kissed me, it was hard, rough, strong, but here lately, his kisses have been soft, deep, and long, like he can’t get enough of me, like he wants to savor every second of it, burn every last detail into his memory.
A knock on the door makes us shoot apart just before he opens it. Bennet is on the other side. He walks in and turns to face the two of us. “I need a favor, and I didn’t know who else to ask,” he breathes out.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“You’ve heard of Geo Halsing, right?” he asks, looking at Callan.
He nods. “Yeah, he’s the kid that just inherited his father’s billion-dollar estate, right?”
Bennet nods. “Exactly. Well, I had a meeting set up with him because he’s wanting to pull every cent.” He shakes his head. “We can’t lose an account that large, Cal.”
“Alright. What do you want us to do?” I ask.
Bennet’s eyes jump from me to Callan, and back. “This guy is only twenty-one and doesn’t have one business bone in his body. If he takes this money, he’s going to live large for a few years, but he will blow every last penny. I need help talking him into leaving it with us. Letting us invest it and use it with the promise of a return. I thought everything was going according to plan, but it turns out he’s just too busy to come in and talk about business because he’s only here for a vacation. I got word that he’s going to be hitting up Hanger 10 tonight.”
“Alright, I’ll help you rope him in,” Callan agrees.
Bennet looks at us both. “Well, actually…and I hate to do this, but Val, do you think you could, you know, use your womanly wiles on him? Make sure he dances, drinks, has a good time. Then me and Callan push him to sign?”
I look up at Callan and even though he’s trying to maintain his composure, I can see the annoyance breaking through. His jaw flexes and his nostrils flare.
“I don’t know, Bennet. I mean, I don’t do the whole club scene anymore. Not after…you know.”
Bennet’s eyes stretch wide. “I know, Val. But I’ll be there, and Maddie, and Callan. Nothing could possibly happen. We need this client. His dad started this business deal up twenty years ago with nothing but a grand. In that time, his investments have done so well, his account now stands at more than twenty millions dollars.” He shakes his head. “We can’t lose that kind of money in one quarter. The board will be all over my ass.”
I take a deep breath, wanting to help, but not wanting to be back in that scene. “Why can’t Maddie do it?” I ask.
“Maddie is my wife, Val. There’s no way I’m going to let her dance with another guy, having to sit back and watch as he puts his hands on her, even innocently.”
I laugh. “But it’s okay for your little sister?”
“You’re single, and this is your usual thing anyway. Cal and I will be there. All you have to do is tell us when, and we’ll stop everything,” he promises.
“Fine, but I’m getting paid for this. If I have to work after work, I want double my pay for every hour I’m there. I also want the bonus you’re supposed to get with every signature. Got it?”
He nods. “Deal. Thank you. The club opens at ten.” He rushes out the door.
Callan shuts it behind him and shakes his head
. “I don’t like this,” he admits.
“Me neither, but like Bennet said, you guys will be there to make sure this guy behaves.”
He steps up to me and pulls me to his chest. He doesn’t kiss me or touch me provocatively; he just hugs me close. I can hear the way his heart is pounding against his chest.
I look up at him, cupping his cheek. “I’ll be fine,” I promise, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his mouth.
We get to the club, and the place is packed and very loud. It’s so crowded that I find it hard to move and even breathe at times. Memories flood over me: dancing with Decon, getting close in the booth, then the memory from the next day of being sick and in pain. Just remembering it all puts me on edge and makes me feel angry.
Luckily, Bennet sprung for the VIP area, so we at least have our own place to sit to get away from the crowd.
Bennet and Callan sit on the ends of the booth with Maddie and me between them. Under the table, Callan places his hand on my thigh. Just a simple touch eases away the anxiety I feel. I take a deep breath and try to resist leaning into his side.
This past month with Callan has been great. We spend all our free time together, and I don’t feel as if I’m missing out on anything by not going on dates with other guys. I never thought I’d be the relationship type, but I guess you just have to find the right one. I try not to overthink it though, because then a sudden panic rises in my chest when I consider what we’re really doing, how much trouble we could get into with my brother.
I reach under the table and place my hand over his, letting him know that I’m grateful for his touch, his support and understanding through all of this.
We all order a round of drinks, and while everyone else is throwing them back, I’m only sipping on mine here and there. I still haven’t gotten over my issues with drinking and being back in the club only makes me want to avoid it more.
Maddie and I sit and talk about everything from our nails to things going on at work. Bennet is watching everyone that comes through the door like a hawk, and Callan is sitting next to me, body tensed. Hours go by, but I finally finish my drink and can no longer feel my legs from sitting still so long.
His Every Desire (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 28
