She offers up a small smile. “Why didn’t you ask me out in college?” She shakes her head as her smile starts to fade.
“I was going to, but Nick beat me to it,” I confess.
“Really?” her head pops up.
“Yeah.” I nod, thinking about the day. “It was a cold winter night. There was a big basketball game and a party afterward. Nick and I went to the game, and while we were sitting in the crowd, I heard the most beautiful laugh. I turned to find the sound and saw you. You were sitting with another guy, and I don’t know what he was saying, but you found it downright hilarious. You threw your head back and laughed so loud that it made me laugh. You had these big tears rolling down your pink cheeks. Your hair was pulled into a high ponytail. I still remember what you had on. You were wearing your red, white, and blue Flames jersey, and you had little stars painted on your left cheek, right beside your eye. Nick, he saw me checking you out, and I could tell he was interested as well, but I was shy then. We went to the after-party, and we somehow got separated. When I went to find him, I found him talking to you.”
She nods slowly, like she remembers the night. “I remember that. But I don’t remember you being there. Did we meet that night?”
I shake my head. “No. When I saw Nick talking to you, I knew I didn’t have a chance. I tossed my beer into the trash and left. We didn’t meet until weeks later, and by that point, you and Nick were already committed.”
“I wish you would’ve come up to me at that party,” she whispers, eyes downcast.
“Me too, Dani. I’ve wished that every day for six years now.”
I look over at her, and she looks up at me. There’s a long, drawn-out pause, and it feels like we’re being pulled together. I tilt my head to the left, and she tilts to the right as we slowly close the space between us. Before our lips can touch, her phone rings, shattering the silence, and we both pull away.
She looks at the screen on her phone, then back to me. “It’s Nick,” she whispers.
I nod her on. “Go on, answer it.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him yet. All he’s going to say is that he’s sorry, and to let him explain.”
I laugh. “I don’t even know how you could explain that one.” It’d be one thing if they were just kissing, but fucking? What could he possibly say? He tripped, and it went in? Just thinking of any excuse he could possibly try makes me want to laugh.
I sit and wait, watching as she watches the screen of her phone. Finally, it stops ringing.
She looks up at me with hopeful eyes. “He stopped,” she says around a smile.
I open my mouth, but my phone ringing cuts me off.
I take a deep breath and pull it from my pocket to see Nick’s name flashing on the screen. I show it to her, and she lets out a sigh.
“Go ahead. I shouldn’t have come here. What was I thinking? You two are best friends. I shouldn’t have involved you.” She stands up and starts pacing.
“Dani, if you remember correctly, me and Nick, we haven’t been friends in a long time. Okay?” I ask with a raise of my brow.
She nods.
“Hello?” I answer. My eyes follow her as she goes to the bathroom.
“Levi, man…I fucked up. I fucked up bad,” Nick says into the phone.
“Ugh, yeah. I know.” I run my hand through my hair, nerves becoming too much to handle.
“She’s there?” he asks. “Of course she’s there. Where else would she go? Let me talk to her,” he demands.
“I can’t do that, man. Not right now. She’s locked herself in the bathroom.” It’s not exactly a lie. She is in the bathroom, and I’m sure she probably locked the door behind her. I mean, who doesn’t?
He lets out a long, drawn-out breath. “Can I come over and see her?”
“Look, Nick,” I start, standing and pacing the floor. “I don’t know how I got brought in on this shit, but I don’t want to get kicked out of my apartment because you two are fighting. Just let her cool down tonight. She can crash in the guest bedroom, and I’ll bring her home tomorrow. Sound good?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. I guess we could both use the time to think. And if she’s with you, at least I know where she’s at and that she’s safe.”
“Alright, man. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I hang up the phone without another word.
I feel bad for needing to spin the truth the way I did, but I tell myself not to be. Nick brought this mess upon himself. I’m not the one cheating on my girlfriend. I do feel a little guilty about our kisses, though. He’s supposed to be my best friend. There’s a code we’re supposed to abide by, and I’m breaking it. Guys aren’t supposed to date their friends’ exes.
I have a feeling that even if Nick accepts this break-up and moves on; if he found out about Dani and me down the road, he’d still be pissed. That’s just how Nick is. Once something is his, it’s always his, and nobody else can have it. I learned that lesson back in college when he got a new laptop and wouldn’t let me buy his old one. He put it in his desk and never touched it again, despite knowing I couldn’t afford a new one. It sat in his desk until the school year ended. When we packed up our dorm room, he tossed it into a box and ended up breaking it when he couldn’t get the box to fit into the trunk of his car.
More and more, I find myself asking why I was ever friends with him to begin with. He’s never been the kind of friend I could open up to and talk about my problems with. The few times I tried, he told me to stop being a pussy and to act like a man. Then there were times when I’d tell him something personal, only for him to use it against me later—embarrass me when we hung out with the rest of the guys.
When Dani walks out of the bathroom, I look up at her. Her eyes are bloodshot and filled with tears again. I feel a deep breath leave my lips as I stand and walk up to her. I reach for her and pull her against my chest, where I just hold her and hug her, wanting her to know that I’m here, that she can trust me, that I’d never hurt her.
“Why are you even crying over him?” I whisper into her hair.
I feel her shoulders lift and then drop. “I think it’s everything,” she says, pulling away and moving back to the couch. “I’m mourning the years I wasted with him, I’m angry at myself for staying with him so long—for allowing him to treat me the way he did. I’m angry that I trusted him and gave him the chance to hurt me. Why couldn’t I see him, the real him? How could I be so blind?” she asks, hanging her head. Her blonde hair hangs loosely around her, creating a curtain and hiding her face.
I sit at her side and push her hair behind her ear. “You’ve wasted too many years on him already. Don’t let him steal another second by thinking about him and blaming yourself.”
She looks at me from beneath her long lashes and bites her lower lip. “Will you hold me, Levi?” she quietly asks like she’s afraid I’ll deny her. “I know you’re his friend, but for tonight, can we just pretend you’re mine?”
“I am your friend, Dani,” I whisper, holding out my arm.
She offers up a small smile as she scoots closer to me. I wrap my arm around her as she rests her head on my shoulder. Neither of us talks. I just hold her until she relaxes enough to fall asleep.
6
Danielle
I wake but don’t want to move or open my eyes. My head is pounding—my stomach, rolling. My neck is sore, and my back is stiff. God, what the hell did I do, get run over by a truck? I squeeze my eyes tighter, trying to force myself back to sleep, but then the memories of last night come rushing back: catching Nick with that woman, running to Levi, us talking, drinking, kissing, and almost going all the way. God, I’m so glad Levi was responsible enough to put a stop to it. Not that I wouldn’t be interested in being with him in the future, but right now, everything is such a mess. It’s not the right time for us, and he knew that. I need to get my life straightened out and learn to love and trust again. Nick has left deep scars on my heart, and I don’t know how long those will take to heal, or
if they ever will. Levi is a great guy. He deserves someone who can love him wholeheartedly, not someone who will question him every time he’s running late.
How do people do it? How does anyone learn to trust and love again after being fucked over like I have?
I hear Levi groan, and I finally open my eyes to find my head in his lap. I shoot up quickly and see that we’re still on the couch.
He rolls his head and cracks his neck while massaging it with one hand. “Fuck, my neck is killing me,” he says in a deep, raspy voice.
“So is mine,” I complain, doing the same in hopes of easing the stiffness. “I can’t believe we slept the whole night on the couch.”
He lets out a chuckle. “I can’t believe I slept sitting up all night.”
We both grow quiet as the reality of what I have to do today hits us. “You know, you don’t have to go over there with me if you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have dragged you into the middle of this mess like this.”
“Dani,” Levi says, sitting up and taking my hand in his. “I meant everything I said last night. Let me be here for you.”
I’m speechless. All I can do is nod my head, amazed by his generosity. Nick would never have agreed to something like this, and if he did, he’d try every way he could to get out of it.
“Why don’t you take a shower, and I’ll find something for breakfast? Something tells me we’re going to need our strength today.” He gives me this wide smile that makes my heart race.
“Okay, thanks,” I agree, standing and pushing myself to walk without stumbling from the dizziness of my hangover.
I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me, leaning my back against it. A deep breath leaves my lips as I try and will my heart to slow. I know I should be more worried about facing Nick today and packing my things, but the only thing I can think about is that kiss from last night: the way his big, strong hands felt against my body, how soft his lips are, and the way his body seems to fit against mine perfectly. Instead of dreading the confirmation with Nick, I find myself excited to see where it will lead Levi and me.
When my heart calms, and my breathing returns to normal, I strip down and step into the shower. The hot water feels amazing on my neck. It eases my sore muscles and allows me to relax, to push every thought away and just live in this moment, a time when it’s just me and nobody else to cloud my thoughts. I don’t have to pretend to be strong or okay. I can just fall apart without anyone feeling sorry for me or judging me.
I remind myself that I should make it quick, so Levi has plenty of hot water to shower after me. I wash my body and hair, then step out to pull my clothes back on. It’d be nice if I had something clean to wear, but I didn’t exactly have time to grab a spare pair of clothes.
When I walk back into the living room, the smell of pancakes and syrup washes over me, nearly making my mouth water. Just the smell causes my stomach to growl. I head into the kitchen to find Levi making two plates.
“Hey, I hope you’re hungry,” he says with a grin.
“I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday. Dinner got ruined last night,” I add on, remembering the Chinese food I dropped onto the ground.
“Well, how does pancakes sound?” He holds up a plate in front of my face.
I look down at the white plate. There are two pancakes in the center with sliced bananas and strawberries. He used whipped cream to make a little smiley face on the top.
I laugh. “This is perfect. Thank you.” I take the plate to the table and sit down to eat.
Levi takes the empty seat across from me and holds up his glass of orange juice. “No matter what happens today, just remember I’m here for you. Okay?” He lifts a brow.
I nod and clink my glass against his. “Okay,” I agree.
We finish up breakfast, and Levi agrees to follow me over to Nick’s. I wanted him to drive me, just in case I got too worked up to drive myself back, but then we realized that the more trunk space we had, the better. We might actually be able to get all my stuff in one trip.
I climb behind the wheel and start toward Nick’s. My eyes flash up to the rearview mirror to make sure Levi is behind me. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ll be strong enough to do this if he’s with me, supporting me. But I hope Nick doesn’t think that Levi is on my side and not his. I’d hate to be the reason they’re no longer friends. The closer I get to the apartment, the higher my nerves go.
I pull into the parking garage, and Levi pulls his car next to mine. I shift into park and look over at him to see him look at me. His eyes are sure as he nods his head, giving me the strength to keep going.
I shut off the car and climb out while he does the same. We meet in front of my car.
“I don’t know if I can do this, Levi. I don’t know if I can face him right now. I’m so angry.” My head shakes on its own as I cross my arms over my chest.
“Shhh,” he whispers, lifting his hands and cupping my cheeks. “Close your eyes.”
I do as I’m told.
“Now, take a deep breath,” he tells me.
I do.
“Now, let it out.”
Again, I listen to his words.
“Everything will be okay. Do you hear me? I’ll be with you the entire time. I won’t let anything happen to you. Just breathe. Breathe out the negative and know that this will all be over soon.”
I listen to his words. His voice soothes me into relaxation. I open my eyes and let out a deep breath before nodding. “Okay. I’m ready.” I’m not sure if it’s his voice that helps to soothe me, or if it’s his hands on me. Either way, I don’t try to analyze it. I just accept his help and push on.
He smiles. “Okay, let’s do this.”
We walk over to the elevator, and I use my key to take us up to my—er—Nick’s apartment. Walking in, the place is quiet, and it looks like nothing’s been moved.
“Nick?” I call out, peeking into the living room to find it empty.
I hear a door open and step back into the hallway to see him stick his head out. He’s only wearing a pair of boxers, his hair is a mess, and his eyes are bloodshot and glassy.
“I’m here to get my things,” I state.
“Danielle, can we please talk about this?” he asks, stepping out of the bedroom altogether. He steps toward me, but he forgot to shut the door behind him. In the corner of my eye, I see movement. Anger washes over me as I push him to the side so I can fully see into the bedroom. The redhead from last night never left.
I spin back around to face him. “Are you kidding me?” I motion toward the redhead that’s dragging my sheet up her naked body.
He hangs his head. “Danielle…” he starts.
“No!” I yell, cutting him off. “We’re done. I’m getting my stuff, and I don’t ever want to see you again.” I walk into the bedroom and slam the door behind me, leaving Nick and Levi in the hallway.
The redhead sits up, her green eyes wide with fear.
I bend over, pick up her clothes from the floor, and throw them at her. “I suggest you leave while I’m here.”
She grabs her clothes and runs toward the bathroom to get dressed, but before she closes the door behind her, I speak up. “And just so you know, you’re one of many. If you think you’ll be able to change him, you’re sorely mistaken. I’ve been with him since college. I was engaged to him. Nick doesn’t want someone to love. He just wants an endless party. If you don’t mind being treated like a hooker, go ahead.” I spin back around and move to the closet to pack my things.
I reach up to the top shelf and start pulling down tote bags, purses, and luggage. Without thinking, I start shoving everything into the bags. Once I realize that I won’t have enough room, I text Levi, asking him to bring me some trash bags. When he walks in, the redhead runs out.
“You okay?” he asks, handing over the box.
I nod, but tears burn my eyes. “I’m fine. Just angry, so angry. I mean, he brought her into our apartment last night. He wasn’
t upset that I called off our engagement. All he cared about was getting off.”
“Come here,” he whispers, pulling me against his chest and hugging me hard.
I breathe in his scent, hoping it will relax me, but instead, all it does is make me want him. Levi is good. He’d never do anything like this to me. He’s sweet, caring, strong, and reliable. Why didn’t I see this side of him before?
I look up at him now that my eyes are dry. “Thank you, Levi. For everything. I don’t know if I’d be able to do this right now if it wasn’t for you.” Without thinking, I press my lips to his. He kisses me soft and slow, but he pulls away quickly.
“We can’t do this here. Let me know if you need anything.” Without another word, he backs up and heads out the door, leaving me alone.
A part of me wants to pull him back in here and get even with Nick, but I tell myself to stop thinking that way. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But would being with Levi be wrong? I mean, it’s not like I’m engaged anymore. It’s not like I’m even dating anyone. Just that sleeping with his best friend would be wrong, but they aren’t even really friends anymore—not since Nick has changed. The same thing that killed our relationship killed theirs.
It becomes clear to me that I don’t have the best judgment right now. Everything I’m thinking, I’m twisting in my head so that it all sounds okay from my point of view. However, if I were watching someone going through the same things, I’d be yelling at them, Don’t do this! Don’t make things worse for yourself. You’re clearly fucked up right now, and it’s not the time to make any serious decisions.
I sit on my knees on the floor and close my eyes. I push every thought away, everything but being strong and getting through this. I take several long, deep breaths. When I feel like everything inside of me has quieted, I open my eyes.
I stack the bags up by the door, and when the closet is empty of all of my belongings, I move toward the dresser, with plans of hitting the bathroom next. For the next hour, I clean and pack, not allowing myself to think of anything.
His Every Desire (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 42
