We take our time in the shower, washing, kissing, touching. When we step out, I wrap myself in a large towel and head toward the guest room to get dressed. I walk into my room and close the door behind me. I sit on the edge of the bed, and a deep breath leaves my lips as I look around at all my belongings packed into trash bags. My heart starts to pound as reality smacks me in the face. It’s so weird…even though Nick and I are done, I still feel as if I’m cheating on him. Guilt begins eating at me and makes me wonder how he could cheat on me. Did he feel this way?
Tears sting my eyes, and I hang my head, resting it on the palm of my hand with my elbow resting on my knee. I feel so confused by the whole situation…crazy, angry, but also relieved. I guess, if nothing else, I don’t have to feel anxious about waiting for him to let me down.
My door opens, and Levi walks in. “Hey, want to—” His words drop off when he sees the tears in my eyes. He lets out a long, loud breath, and his shoulders slump. “I fucked up, didn’t I? I pushed you too far, too soon. I didn’t think you were ready for that step,” he rants on and on. His hands move up to his hair, causing it to stand in all directions, and he paces back and forth across the floor in front of me.
I stand and rush up to him. “No, Levi. It’s not you. You did nothing wrong. You…we were perfect.”
His hands come up, cupping my cheeks. “Then what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” His voice is soft, worry leaking through.
“I just came in here and sat down. When I saw my entire life packed away into trash bags, I just couldn’t hold it back. I mean, my life is a fucking mess right now. And even though Nick and I are done, I still feel like I’m betraying him. I know that sounds crazy after everything, but…”
He takes my hand and sits on the edge of the bed, pulling me down with him. He levels his eyes on me. “I can’t begin to imagine how you’re feeling right now, Dani. I mean, getting cheated on, it can leave some deep scars. And having your whole life uprooted because of it, that doesn’t help. But I don’t want you overanalyzing us, okay? Don’t think that you’ve somehow entered another relationship or that you’re stuck with me. I just, I hate seeing you hurt, and I’d give you anything you asked for to avoid it. You wanted intimacy after being treated poorly, and I gave you that. It’s nothing more. No decision has been made for us. You’re free to stay here as long as you need; we can be roommates, best friends, or more. Let’s just see how everything unfolds, huh?”
I laugh and nod before leaning my head against his shoulder. “I know I’ve said it before, but thank you.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for, Dani.” He presses a quick kiss to the top of my head. “Now, get dressed. Let’s go do something.” He stands, making me lift my head.
“What are we going to do?”
“Let’s take a hike. It’s nice outside, and my muscles are itching to get out into nature.”
When he leaves my room, I pull on a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, and a loose-fitting tank top. I slide my feet into a pair of shoes and then pile my hair on top of my head. I walk out of my bedroom just as he’s walking out of his. I can’t stop myself from looking him up and down. He’s wearing a pair of basketball shorts with tennis shoes and a baggy shirt that he’s cut the sleeves off of. The shirt sleeves are cut low, meaning I can see his muscular ribs and arms, and when he moves just right, I can also see his dark-colored nipple. Just looking at him, and knowing I can touch him, gets my body going all over again.
“Are you checking me out?” he asks around a smile when I’ve been staring for way too long.
“Maybe. What are you going to do about it?” I shrug when my grin takes over.
He takes my hand and pulls me down the hallway. “I’m going to wear your ass out. You hike often?” he asks, grabbing his phone, wallet, and keys off the table.
“No. I mean, I work out at the gym and run on the treadmill, but I don’t usually go out alone and hike through the woods.”
He grabs two bottles of water from the fridge. “There’s this place I like to go. It’s about a five-mile hike, but it’s not too bad. Come on.”
We climb in his car, and he starts driving out of the city. I sit back in my seat, watching as we pass traffic. My mind drifts off in the quiet car, and I start to see a future that Levi and I could have. I could see myself being with him: getting married, having children, spending our lives happy and together. But then, I also see something else: Nick learning the truth about Levi and me, him trying to ruin what we’ve managed to achieve, none of us getting our happily ever after.
“Levi, what would you do if Nick found out about us sleeping together?” I blurt out the question without thinking.
He glances at me from the corner of his eye. “What do you mean?”
I take a deep breath. “I mean, if things with us continue to grow and we find ourselves together, what would you do if Nick showed up to ruin it?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know how I’d handle it, Dani. I mean, I don’t owe him anything, but I’d never let him hurt you. What we do, it’s none of his business.”
“Do you feel guilty?” I look at him from beneath my lashes, afraid of looking him in the eye.
“I’m not sure how I feel yet. On the one hand, I know I broke the bro code by sleeping with his ex, but on the other, I don’t consider him a friend anymore, and we’re both legal consenting adults. It shouldn’t be up to anyone but us.” The way he’s talking, it’s all so casual. Like maybe he’s already rationalized it all in his head. I wish I would’ve thought things through a little more—not that it would’ve changed my decision about sleeping with him, because it wouldn’t have. I just wish I thought it through more, so I was ready for the more emotional side of things.
I lean back in my seat and let his words sink in. I know he’s right. Nick fucked me over. He doesn’t get a say in what I do or who I’m with. But if that’s the case, why do I feel so guilty? I realize I probably shouldn’t have jumped into the sack with Levi so quickly. I mean, it was perfect and something I hope we do time and time again. But it has complicated my thoughts. I should have allowed myself time to heal before starting something with him. I don’t regret it; I just wish I would’ve waited and gone into this with a clear head.
Neither of us talks during the rest of the drive. I’m too lost in my overthinking, and Levi seems content, just driving. Maybe he’s working through his thoughts too. I can’t do anything but watch him from the corner of my eye. The way the sun hits his dark hair, it lights up all the caramel and red stands. His angular jaw is flexed, and his blue eyes focus intently on the road. He keeps one hand on the top of the steering wheel, and the other rests on his lap. Every now and then, he’ll run his palm down the front of his shorts, like he’s trying to wipe off the sweat. Levi is always so cool, calm, and collected. I wonder if being here with me is making him nervous or anxious. I want to laugh at that thought. I’m pretty sure any anxiousness was released less than an hour ago. There shouldn’t be more awkward encounters between us now that we’ve seen everything the other has to offer.
Thinking back to our romp, my stomach tightens again. I can’t get it off my mind. I turn my head to look out the passenger window and feel my face heat up as I picture his hard, toned muscles when they flex with his every move. I can smell his deep rich scent. I can still taste his lips and feel how soft they were against mine. I don’t know how, but those soft lips can also feel hard and strong. He’s so different from what I’m used to. Everything about him is a mystery and a turn on all at the same time.
And that confuses me more since I’ve known him for years. Have I always had these feelings for him, or is this something new? I’ve definitely always been attracted to him. In fact, back in college, I was smitten with Nick…and then, he introduced me to Levi. I remember telling myself I wasn’t the kind of girl who went out with one guy and then bounced over to his best friend. But if I hadn’t told myself, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. It’s now clear to see that I made the
wrong choice. It’s funny how trying to be good ended up so bad, and now being bad feels so good.
I shake my head at myself. There’s clearly something wrong with me.
I don’t know how long we’ve driven when he pulls into a parking lot that’s surrounded by trees. He shuts off the car.
“We’re here.” He pulls off his seatbelt and opens his door.
I climb out, looking around us. “We’re where exactly?”
He laughs and starts stretching. “My favorite place. Come on. Don’t forget your water. You’re going to need it.” He starts heading toward a small dirt trail that’s surrounded by green trees.
I follow along behind him, a little nervous. The trail is narrow for what feels like forever. There’s only enough room to walk in a single file. Finally, the trail begins to widen out, and I don’t feel so cramped. Birds fly around overhead, and the bright sunlight shines between the tree branches.
There are big rock formations, fallen trees, and wildlife. I see bunnies, birds, and squirrels. There’s even a slight breeze that feels heavenly to my overheated skin. My legs burn from the uneven terrain, and my lungs are working double time, trying to get in enough oxygen. But Levi, he looks happy and content. He keeps going, wiping the sweat off his brow now and then, but he never complains of being hot, tired, or sore. He’s a machine that never seems to stop. I can think of a few more ways in which he never stops, but I quickly put an end to that kind of thinking when I feel desire wash over me.
Watching him is mystifying. The way his muscles tense and move, the way his jaw flexes and his eyes squint against the sun, the way his sweat beads up and rolls down every ripple of his muscles, it all causes a tingle to form in the pit of my stomach. My face grows hot, and I find myself breathless.
I have no choice but to lean my shoulder against a tree and take a long drink of water, hoping to cool my overheating body. Levi soon realizes I’m not next to him, and he turns around with a grin. His eyes focus on mine. My feelings must be written on my face because he clearly reads me. He reaches down and yanks his shirt from his body, dropping it onto the forest floor as he walks closer.
9
Levi
When I notice she isn’t beside me, I turn around and find her breathless against a tree. She takes a big gulp of water, causing her lips to look red and swollen. They glisten as they part with her heavy breathing. Her chocolatey eyes darken and sparkle with the sun shining against them. She’s so fucking breathtaking. I can’t keep my eyes off her chest that’s rising and falling quickly from her heavy breathing.
I yank off my shirt and toss it on the ground as I make my way toward her. I know we’re not a couple, we’re not together, but I don’t care. I need to kiss her, touch her, and taste her. Her eyes take me in, and she grins in approval. Before I can close the distance between us, her fingers are wrapping around the hem of her shirt as she yanks it off, leaving her in a gray sports bra that’s drenched with sweat.
I step up to her, her eyes locked with mine. For a moment, neither of us move as we gaze into each other's eyes. Something is being exchanged: friendship, trust, passion. We don’t have to tell the other what it is we both want because we already know.
I move in for a kiss, and she wraps her arms around my neck in the same instant, pulling me closer. She jumps into my arms, and I press her back against a tree as she wraps her thighs around my hips.
Her hand moves up, threading her fingers into my hair as she gently pulls it. Our mouths are in a rush to give, to take what we both need. She moans against my mouth, and I break our kiss.
“Tell me what you need, Dani.” I move my mouth to her jaw, peppering it with kisses.
“I need you, Levi,” she pleads.
“Come on,” I say, setting her on her feet as I take her hand and pull her behind me.
“Where are we going?” she asks, still out of breath from our kiss.
“Off the trail,” I reply, stomping through dried leaves and sticks.
I turn and look over my shoulder in all directions, making sure we’re deep enough in the woods so we won’t be seen. When I find a big tree to lean against, I pull her to my chest, lips landing on hers. I back her up as I work her yoga pants down her hips. When I have them low enough, I pull away and spin her around. Her hands fly up to land on the tree in front of her. I hastily free myself from my shorts and slide deep inside her. The moment our bodies join together, she lets out a deep sigh, and her head rolls back.
I keep my hands on her hips, pulling her into my thrusts as I pound into her. Her breathing is quickening, her moans and whimpers are growing louder, and her muscles are beginning to twitch around my dick. I feel the ripples of her release wash over her just as she lets her head dip back with her mouth open.
Taking one hand, I place it on her jaw and turn her head for a kiss while I push myself over the edge. My release rises and bubbles over the surface, making my head spin. When I’ve been drained of every last drop, I lean against her to catch my breath. I press a kiss to the back of her shoulder as I pull out of her.
We both fix our clothing, and she spins around to face me. Her cheeks are flushed, her lips are parted, and her eyes are shining.
I laugh and kiss her again. “I don’t know why I can’t control myself around you,” I mumble against her lips as I rest my forehead against hers.
“I don’t know either, but I’m glad,” she says, pressing one last quick kiss to my mouth.
On our drive home, we pass through a little town where we decide to stop in to grab some dinner. Neither of us wants the chance of running into Nick back home, and we don’t want to feel like we’re hiding by staying indoors either. I park the car and climb out to pull my shirt back on. I lead her inside the little diner, and we sit in the back booth. Moments later, a waitress comes over and places two menus in front of us.
“Good evening. Do you know what you’d like to drink?” she asks, smiling at me.
“I’ll just take a glass of water with lemon,” I order.
“I’d like unsweetened tea, no lemon,” Dani orders.
The waitress walks away, giving us time to look over the menu.
“I’ve never gone hiking before,” Dani says, pulling my attention back to her.
“Really?” I ask, tearing my eyes from the menu and looking up at her.
She nods. “And I’ve never had sex in the woods before either,” she says around a smile.
I laugh. “Well, I hope it was memorable.”
Her cheeks redden. “I don’t think I’ll forget it any time soon.”
“You know, we should go camping. Sleep in a tent, cook over a fire, take a naked swim at midnight.”
She giggles. “That’s something else I’ve never done. I was raised in the city, and Nick was too. We never really did anything outdoors.”
I scoff. “You haven’t lived until you’ve slept under the stars.”
She smiles, and it makes my heart race. “Okay, let’s do it sometime.”
“You two ready to order?” the waitress asks when she places our drinks down.
“I think I’ll just take a salad and the vegetable soup,” I order. “There’s no meat in the soup, correct?”
The waitress nods. “That’s right.” She looks at Dani. “And for you?”
Dani’s eyes flash up to me and back to her menu. “Um, I think I’ll take an order of fries and a grilled cheese.”
The waitress nods, picks up our menus, and leaves us alone.
“Are you a vegetarian?” she asks, pulling her brows together.
I nod. “Yeah, for several years now.”
“How did I not know that?” Her mouth is hanging open, causing me to laugh.
“It’s not something I ever really talk about. I tried vegan for a while, but it turns out I really love cheese.”
“Don’t they have vegan cheese, though?”
“Have you ever tried cheese that isn’t cheese?” I ask, quirking an eyebrow.
She laughs and
shakes her head.
“It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the same. I need the real thing.”
“I’m afraid I’d fall over if I didn’t get protein.” She picks up her glass and takes a swig of her tea.
“You get used to it. It really helps me to stay lean. About a year ago, I thought I wanted a steak. So I ate this huge steak, and it was delicious. However, it wasn’t great puking it up an hour later. My body just felt so heavy and gross. I haven’t eaten meat since.”
“Hmmm, maybe I should try it sometime.”
Moments later, our food is placed in front of us, and we both focus on eating so we can hit the road again.
We make it back home, and we’re laughing and talking on our way up to the apartment. When we step off the elevator, the sound of knocking fills our ears.
“Damnit, Danielle. Open the door,” someone says, and it sounds like Nick.
Dani freezes and looks at me with wide eyes. She shakes her head. “I don’t want to see him,” she whispers.
I nod. “Go hide in the stairwell. I’ll come to get you when I get rid of him.”
She nods and runs down the hall in the opposite direction of the apartment. With a deep breath, I push myself forward, rounding the corner and coming to a sudden stop when I run into him.
“Hey, man. What’s up?”
He turns toward me, anger painting his face. “She won’t let me in.”
“That’s cuz she’s not here. What’s going on?” I put the key into the lock and open the door.
He follows me in. “Where’s she at?” he asks.
I shrug as I toss my keys down on the table. “How am I supposed to know? I don’t babysit her. She’s free to come and go as she pleases.”
He collapses onto the couch. “You mind if I sit here and wait for her to come home? I need to talk to her.”
“Actually, I was going to get a shower and head out. I have a few things to do.”
His Every Desire (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 44
