“What do you mean?” Ashwick asked.
“The pin,” she whispered. “He wanted the toga pin. It’s the one I gave you, isn’t it?” Then she looked away. “All I ever do is bring you more pain and humiliation. Even though I didn’t burn down your house, it was all still my fault. We are like wool and linen. We don’t mix well.”
“Quiet.” The word, though a whisper, went off like a firecracker from his lips. He grabbed her cheeks. “You can’t honestly believe anything you’ve said.” He searched her eyes. “Tell me you don’t believe that.”
Her brows furrowed and she said, “It’s true.”
“Lorena,” he shook his head, “it’s not, and even if it were true, I still would never let you go. You and I are shackled together, meaning you will go wherever I go. Do you understand?”
She touched his wrist and said, “Ashwick—”
Since she didn’t begin her statement in affirmation, he deduced that she did not understand.
“No,” he cut her off. “I’ll not entertain any more of this rubbish. You could stab me with a thousand knives, boil me in hot water, and burn down every house you wish, and I would still marry you. Now, tell me you love me and this will be the end of the discussion.”
Lorena blinked and Ashwick witnessed some of the bleakness leave her eyes, light returning. “You can’t tell a woman to confess her love. She must do it in her own time.” However, she was smiling when she said this, so he had the feeling that she was understanding him quite well.
He leaned over and kissed her nose. “We’ll work through this. Now, do you remember what the man who took you looked like?”
“He told me his name,” she said. “It’s Ben.”
Ashwick had been right. “We’ll find him and sort this out.”
“You don’t have to find him,” Lorena told him. “Sudworth has him tied in the carriage.”
Ashwick frowned. “Remind me to give that man a raise.”
“Duly noted,” she said with a smile.
* * *
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CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
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Lorena sat in Mr. Taylor’s drawing room and tried to listen to the conversation happening around her, but it was pointless. In another room, Ashwick, Francis, and their friends, along with Mr. Taylor, were speaking to Ben. Lorena desperately hoped that all they were doing was speaking. She didn’t like Ben, but she didn’t wish him killed either.
She’d seen how angry Ashwick and Francis had been when Sudworth dragged Ben into the house. She’d almost begged for his life, but Ashwick had cut her so sharp a look that she’d quickly closed her mouth.
Francis hadn’t looked like he wished to discuss anything. He’d seemed more inclined toward torture. In fact, they’d all looked ready to ensure that Ben never lived to cause pain again… except for Julius. Julius’ lavender eyes had been calm… too calm. And Lorena knew, more than the rest, that Julius was deadly.
Julius, out of all of them, was the only man who already had blood on his hands.
“It will be all right,” Genie said. “As soon as they find where Ben’s employer is hiding, this will all be settled.” That was what the men wished to find out from Ben. His employer, a Mr. Kings, had not been home when Ashwick and Francis had gone to find him.
Lorena looked at her friend and said, “Ben scared me. I hate to see what his employer is like.”
At that moment, the men came into the sitting room and Ashwick went straight to Lorena.
“I’m going to Liverpool to confront Ben’s employer. I thought it was only Ben I had to deal with, but I was wrong.” He kissed her head. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
“Weeks?” Lorena cried. She grabbed his arm and whispered, “Don’t go. What if this Mr. Kings is dangerous? Send a runner after him. Send the king’s guards.”
“No,” he told her and it was then she noticed just how dark his eyes were. “It must be me.”
“Ashwick.” She looked down and noticed his hands. The knuckles were red and raw. “What did you do?”
He ignored her question. “I’ll write when I can.”
“Ashwick—”
“Julius and Morris will go with me.”
“No.”
“They’re better shots than me.”
She shook her head and her eyes widened. “A duke, a marquess, and an earl do not go gallivanting across England to seek revenge.”
“They do when the woman they love has been hurt.” His eyes showed her that there would no changing of his mind.
This is the end. He’ll get hurt. This is the end of us.
Lorena’s vision blurred when tears filled her eyes. “If you leave, I won’t marry you.” She would not have him risk his life for her.
The entire room went silent.
Ashwick didn’t even blink, but his hand wrapped around the back of her neck as he declared, “We will marry. I will build you a new townhouse grander than before. We will marry. We will live there, you will bear my heir, and you shall bestow upon me the love you promised me.” His eyes were full of anger and conviction. “Every day.”
“Ashwick…” She was trembling.
He placed his forehead on hers, stared into her eyes, and let her go. She watched as Julius and Morris left, only remaining on her feet because Francis was holding her up. But nothing mattered anymore. Lorena’s heart was breaking.
* * *
The sheets were thrown off, and Lorena felt her body turned over. A heavier one settled on top of her and between her legs.
She froze as she believed it to be Ben, but a moment later, Ashwick’s voice filled the darkness.
“You took off the gown.”
She stilled for an entirely different reason and said, “You didn’t leave.” Hope filled her.
“We leave in a few hours,” he replied.
Lorena’s hoped died and she tried to move away, but Ashwick was bigger and stronger than her. She placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed, but he didn’t move. “Go away.”
“Lorena,” he whispered.
“No.” Tears were burning her eyes. “If you leave for Liverpool, I never want to see you again.” She struggled, even though she knew it was of no use. His body was solid and fighting him was like fighting a wall.
His hands took hold of each of hers, and he moved until his face was above hers.
She turned her head just as his lips brushed her cheek and landed on her ear. “My love,” he whispered.
She choked on a sob. “You’ll get hurt.”
“Perhaps.”
She turned to look at him, though she couldn’t see him in the dark. “Ashwick,” she cried, allowing her broken heart to be heard. “Please. Don’t do this.”
“Lorena, I must.”
“I thought you loved me,” she told him.
“It’s why I must go,” he told her. “I cannot allow this man to believe that he can have whatever he wishes from me… including the woman who is to be my wife.”
She was silent a moment before speaking. “Let a runner go after him.”
“A runner could take forever. I know what the man looks like because he accompanied Ben to my estate. It has to be me.”
“Why?” Lorena asked, though he’d already told her the answer.
“My love.” He ran his lips down her neck.
“Let me go,” she told him, pushing him again.
He rolled off her, but before she could stand, his arms took hold of her waist and pulled her into his body. He settled her in his arm, her back to his front, and simply held her.
Lorena was still and waited for him to try and kiss her, waited for him to move and try to fulfill the promises he’d made to her in her brother’s sitting room.
Nothing happened.
She relaxed for only a moment before stiffening again. “Why are you here?”
&
nbsp; “I just want to hold you,” he told her.
She blinked in the dark and whispered, “You could hold me forever if you stayed.”
He said nothing for a moment, then, “We don’t know that. You might have called me Cronus, but Lorena, time is never promised to us.”
She pressed her face into the pillow and told herself not to cry.
“The only thing that is promised is this very moment. I am holding the only woman I have ever loved. This moment is sweeter than any I’ve ever had, and only made sweeter knowing that while you lay there distraught, you are distraught because you love me. It is something I have never allowed myself to dream of, Lorena.”
Lorena started to cry.
Ashwick didn’t stop. “I never allowed myself to dream that I would hold a beautiful and sweet woman in my arms. A woman who’s won not only the loyalty, but the heart of her staff, A woman with wit, who defends the weak, and who loves me.”
She turned in his arm, since he allowed it, and said, “Any woman would love you, Emmett.”
“I believe you’ve met my mother,” he said with a serious tone. “So, we both know this is not true.”
She touched his cheek. “Then I will love you.”
She felt him smile against her hand. “And that is why I am here.”
His words struck her in the heart. He was right there. Even though she continued to put his life in danger, he remained at her side. He was going to Liverpool, no matter what she said. She knew this and still believed it to be wrong, but knew him to be right about many other things. He was right about this moment they had together. If it would be their last, she didn’t wish to regret it.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
He stilled underneath her hand. “We can wait until I return. I can hold you.”
“Kiss me,” she said again.
The room fell into silence and even in the dark, she felt the heat pouring from Ashwick.
In a moment, his mouth was on hers.
The kiss was deep and hard and his hands roamed over her night rail in a frenzy. His fevered touch flowed through Lorena and she touched him as well. Her skin felt sensitive wherever he touched, rubbing fabric against her tender places. She gasped against his mouth when his hands cupped her breast.
She reached up to grab his shoulders, but then he was gone.
Before she could speak, a light bloomed in the room. She was momentarily blinded, but then he returned to her. His strong hands moved to her ankles and began to slide up her legs.
“You’re so soft,” he whispered and brushed his mouth against hers.
Lorena leaned forward and brought her mouth closer to his. The kiss began again, continued as his hands gathered up her night rail over her knees and even higher.
She broke from him and looked down at where he was going. Then she looked up and found his eyes to be watching her. His gray eyes, usually akin to silver, were like melting steel.
Her breath caught at the look and she asked, “Must we have the light?”
“Yes,” he whispered as his fingers kneaded her thighs and moved inside.
Lorena threw her head back as he brushed her center. She brought her head back down to find him still watching her. Her cheeks reddened. “I don’t want the light.”
“I do,” he told her and wrapped a strong hand around her waist, lifted her, and the other pulled up the night rail.
Lorena grabbed his arms as she felt the air hit her exposed bottom. She wore no bloomers under the night rail since it was summer. Once the fabric was at her hips, he let her go and flung it over her head.
Lorena’s hands immediately went to her breasts. She was sitting up on her knees and stared at him in wonder.
Ashwick sat on his own knees in front of her, wearing only a shirt and breeches. His feet and neck were bare and the top button under his throat was undone, exposing part of his tanned chest. His eyes were fixed on her body. “Move your hands,” he said without looking into her eyes. His voice was darker than before.
She didn’t move.
His eyes moved to hers. “I want to see you, Lorena. Don’t deny me this.”
His final words gave her pause and kicked the fight out of her. She didn’t want to deny him anything. She was his, and he was leaving for Liverpool.
She dropped her hands, and his eyes moved slowly down and away from hers, drinking her in.
She’d always hated her breasts. They were too large and looked heavier without clothing.
“God, Lorena,” he growled. He moved closer.
She turned her head away.
His lips touched her collarbone then moved slowly to her shoulder. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. He brought up her arms and started to trail his lips down to the crease of her elbow. This warm tenderness made her turn to him and she found his eyes ready for her.
“I plan to kiss you everywhere,” he told her just as his mouth reached her wrist.
Lorena felt the throbbing between her legs grow and watched with tears in her eyes as Ashwick kissed her other shoulder. He did the same with her other arm, sliding his mouth down to her elbow and to her wrist. He was so gentle and sweet, and Lorena wasn’t sure how much more she could take.
When he’d kissed every finger, he brought his face close to hers, but instead of kissing her, he placed his hands on her back and slowly lowered her to bed. Then he proceeded to kiss her everywhere else. He started at her forehead, her eyes, cheeks, nose, spent some time at her lips, before traveling further down her body.
Lorena was struggling to breathe by the time he reached her breasts and moaned when his mouth covered her nipple, twisting and biting. Her hands fisted in his hair and held him steady. Her fingers moved under the collar of his shirt. “That this off.”
His head came up and he stared at her.
“Please,” she breathed.
He grinned, straightened, and immediately his shirt was off. She watched in fascination as he went to the buttons at his breeches. He undid one button, then another. Lorena’s eyes stayed there, wanting to see that part of him. Wanting to know what the marble carver hid behind the leaf.
The buttons were undone and then Ashwick stood by the bed and shoved them from his hips and to the floor.
Lorena blinked at him and felt a tingling all over her shoulders and chest. “That fit in your breeches?”
He chuckled and said, “He’s not always this size. Just whenever I see you.”
She moved to his eyes and said “Oh” because she had nothing else to say.
“Or whenever I think of you.”
She smiled. “Does that make me special?”
“Very,” he told her before crawling back onto the bed. They were both fully unclothed and Ashwick took up residence between her thighs and continued to kiss his way down her body.
Lorena’s hands touched him everywhere within her reach as he continued to excite her body. He sucked one breast after the other, slowly sliding down, past her belly, around her navel, and then he was there.
And he kissed her there.
Lorena forgot how to breathe.
As promised, he kissed her between her legs, using his tongue in an art form she was sure was forbidden in society and made her want to become the ambassador of the Wanton Society. She was panting and holding back her screams while her fingers locked in his hair, holding him there.
“Oh,” she cried. Her belly tightened and she felt her inner muscles clench as the sweet sensation came on the horizon. She came undone with an explosion so powerful she swore she would die.
She collapsed on the sheets, closed her eyes, and only opened them when she knew Ashwick was there. He was leaning over her, and she was remembering how to breathe.
He was also grinning. “Did you enjoy it?”
After a few more breaths, she said, “You’ll never. Get pie. Again.”
He threw his head back and laughed, a sound she prayed wouldn't wake the house. He leaned forward and kissed her, causing her to forget her
worries about the house. She found the kiss interesting, with the taste of her body still on him. She felt him settle between her legs and nudge at her entrance.
Lorena pulled away to look only to have Ashwick steal her mouth again. She made to protest, but then he was pushing in and she felt her body stretching.
“Relax,” he told her against her mouth.
She did as she was told and felt him begin a slow rock that caused passionate turmoil in her body. She started to rock as well, liking the feel of him, and liking it as he got deeper. His mouth played with hers. One hand lay by her head, but his other wrapped around her thigh and pulled it over his hip. He went deep and deeper.
Lorena gasped as he filled her and brought her legs up to hold him. Still, too distracted by the feeling to even continue kissing. Something wasn’t right. She could feel it.
“Relax,” His voice was hoarse.
She didn’t listen. She locked onto him tighter.
He sank to the hilt and Lorena felt pain, like a tearing of flesh deep inside her that stole the air from her lungs and even still, he moved. Faster.
She dug her fingers into Ashwick’s shoulder and pressed her lips together to stop from begging him to stop.
This is for you.
If there was a possibility she’d never see him again, she didn’t want to stop him. She’d endure the pain.
He leaned up and she could tell he was watching her, so she looked away.
His body continued to rock. His hand pushed her leg up over his hip and it changed everything.
It was good.
Her body felt opened and hot, and she moaned.
She turned back to look at him as he continued to move and she saw he was grinning at her.
“There you are,” he whispered. His eyes darkened and he moved faster. He was shaking and his eyes closed, his brows creasing with every thrust. “God, Lorena.”
She didn’t know what he meant, but she didn’t want him to stop. It was the most splendid experience of her life. His look. His feel. Her body started to tremble as the need between her legs became manic. She was rocking with him, thrusting forward, trying to take him as deep as possible.
Lady Lorena’s Spinster’s Society ( The Spinster’s Society) (A Regency Romance Book) Page 21
