“Mom, you don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do! I asked you not to interrupt. Surprises. Yes. As I got older, my father refused to allow me to shut my bedroom door. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t hiding anything. Hell, what would I have hidden? Once, when he came home, I had mistakenly closed my door. He took it off the hinges. When I would shower, I had to leave the door open—”
“Mom!”
“I never knew when he was going to come inside the bathroom and yank the shower curtain aside. That’s why I don’t like surprises, Will. That is what my father called them. Surprises. And you know what he thought? He actually believed he would catch me doing something obscene and vulgar! I never wanted you to know any of these horrid details of my life. I wanted to protect you from men like him. I wasn’t going to allow anyone to abuse or threaten my child as I’d been abused and threatened.
“One weekend I was allowed to go to Atlanta, to a math competition, and stay with a girl who had been on the math team. That was really the first time in my life I was allowed out of the house on my own with no curfew, no restrictions. All my father said to me that day when I left was that I’d best win, or he and the devil’s tongue would be waiting for me when I came home. We won, of course. But I’d lied to my father. I’d told him the competition lasted a week, when in reality it was only three days. We went to a party at someone’s apartment. I can’t even remember who, not that it matters now. I met your father there. He was the most handsome young man I’d ever seen. I spent the next few days with him. I don’t need to tell you the details, but that’s when you were conceived. I came home happier than I’d ever been. He promised he’d call and that we would find a way to be together. But he never called, and it wasn’t until much later that I even knew how to reach him.
“My father heard me throwing up in the bathroom one morning two months later. He assumed I’d been drinking, but of course I hadn’t. I was suffering from morning sickness. He made me memorize the book of Genesis that day. I was so sick, I threw up in the middle of the living room while I was supposed to be praying. He hit me. Then the next thing I knew, I woke up lying in a pool of vomit and urine. A few days later I told my father I was expecting a baby and intended to keep it. He threw me out into the street with nothing but the clothes on my back, and I never went home again.”
“And my father was like your father?”
“That’s just it. I never knew. Beyond those few days, I never saw your father again. Two months before you were born, I managed to get an address for him and began to send him letters. I sent dozens of letters over the next year or so. They would always come back unopened, marked ‘return to sender.’”
“Why tell me this now? Why did you have to…do this? I’m okay with not having a father. Heck, you know that. You did a fine job, Mom. Really. There were times when I wished for a dad, but it didn’t ruin me. Those things I said a while ago were said in anger.”
“You need to know who your father is. I’ve struggled with this decision for weeks. Ever since your freshman banquet.”
“Why then? Was it because I’d left home? What happened that made you feel it was…I don’t know, urgent, to tell me this.”
“Because your father was a guest speaker at the banquet, Will.”
“It’s Mr. Pemberton, isn’t it?”
“How do you know?”
“Because you asked me not to donate the bone marrow. You want me to sit back and watch him die, don’t you?”
“My God, this is a nightmare! I can’t imagine what you must be going through.” Evan raked his hands through his hair repeatedly. He couldn’t begin to put himself in Lin’s place. He’d had such a normal childhood, or as normal as one could expect with a terminally ill sibling. His parents had made sure he wasn’t forgotten and had taken time to do things with him in spite of Emmy’s illness.
“I’ve never told this to anyone, except my best friend, Sally. If not for her, I don’t think I would have been able to manage as well as I did.”
“Then I say, ‘Way to go, Sally.’”
“There’s more, Evan.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Lin. No way.”
She told him about hiring Jason Vinery, told him everything she and Sally had done. Even the silly kidnapping, if you could call it that. She wasn’t sure that she could tell anyone about her trip to Vermont.
“It’s not something I’d do, but I haven’t had to suffer through what you have. In your shoes I might well have done the same thing,” Evan assured her.
Lin smiled, relief etched on her brow. “At least you don’t hate me. I’m not so sure about Will. He was so angry and upset this morning, he ran out of Starbucks. He needs some time to get used to the idea that his father is alive. I hope he can find it in his heart to forgive me, I don’t know what I’d do if Will stopped speaking to me. He can do that now that he’s an adult.”
“Something tells me he won’t do that, Lin.”
“Thanks. I wanted to ask you about Nick when I came to your office Monday. It doesn’t matter now that it’s out in the open, but I was going to ask you to keep Will’s identity a secret if you found out that he was Nick’s son. I knew, once I read that article in the paper, that Will would step up to the plate.”
“I can’t say what I would have done. Nick is my patient. I don’t really care for him all that much as a person. No, that’s not quite true. I was actually starting to like the guy before you told me this. I can’t understand why he didn’t call or read your letters. His family has tons of money. He should have helped you financially at the very least.”
“That’s what brought me here in the first place. It’s funny how our lives intertwine. When I rented this outrageously expensive apartment, all I wanted to do was make Nick suffer the way I had to. I knew it wouldn’t be on quite the same level, since Nick’s a millionaire, but I felt I had to make him pay in some way. I didn’t want him to know it was me doing all those things. He never even remembered me, so what was the point? Now all I want to do is go home and sit on my porch and smell the night-blooming jasmine. And I want to get another dog. After Scruffy died, I was so involved with the diner, I didn’t have the time to devote to an animal, but now I’m going to make time. Life’s too short not to follow your dreams.”
Evan nodded to show he understood completely. “Tell me about your restaurant. How did you come up with the name?”
“The man that sold it to me is named Jack. He’s working for me while I’m away. Jack and Irma, his wife, are like the grandparents I never had. I went to work for them a few weeks after I discovered I was pregnant. Jack wanted to retire but didn’t have any children to take over, so when he said he was closing up shop, I said, ‘No, you’re not.’ He sold me the place for a song, and as they say, the rest is history.”
“You’re a survivor, Lin.”
“That’s what Sally calls me. I am in a way, but no more than anyone else who’s had to go through similar circumstances. Life deals you lemons, you make lemonade and add a little bit of sugar. A cliché for sure, but it’s true.”
“You haven’t said what happened to your mother. Is she still alive?”
“No, she died a few months after my father threw me out of the house. I learned of her death when I read about it in the obits. She fell down the basement steps. Personally, I would bet my last nickel my father shoved her down those basement steps, but with his Alzheimer’s, he wouldn’t remember, anyway. And if he did remember, there’s no way to prove it. My mother had a pitiful, pathetic life with my father. I wanted to do something for her so bad, but I was just a child, and I couldn’t.”
“It sounds like you both lived a real nightmare.”
Lin nodded, suddenly tired. Telling the truth was hard work. There was one person left, two if you counted Nick’s wife, who needed to hear her story. Lin wasn’t sure how she would go about telling Nick he had a child, but guessed the letters that she’d carried around all these years might play a big part in the
ending to her story.
“It was, but I’m over it now. I’ve learned a lot about myself the past few weeks. I don’t like dishonesty, even though I’ve lived a lie for more than half my life.”
“You have to stop thinking of your life as a lie. You had a child and did whatever it took to protect him. Not telling him about his father isn’t the worst thing in the world. When you consider who his father is, it will be a wonder if Will wants anything at all to do with him. If he does, it may be curiosity, nothing more, on Will’s part. Don’t jump the gun here, Lin.”
“I don’t know that he will ever truly understand. He was so upset when he ran out on me. Once he’s had time to reflect on what I told him, he’ll have to decide for himself. I’m through protecting him from a man neither of us knows.”
“When will you tell Nick? If it would make it easier for you, I can come with you.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“I would.”
“But you hardly know me,” Lin protested.
“I’d say I know everything I need to know. And I want to get to know you even better. That is, if you’ll let me.”
There was nothing Lin would have liked more, but she wasn’t sure if it was the right time to get involved with Evan. So much of her life was changing day by day. Could she take him along for the ride? She couldn’t answer that just yet. Time was what she needed. Time and a clear head.
“I’d like that very much, but I’m not sure if the timing is right. There’s so much confusion and friction in my life.”
“And don’t you need someone to guide you though the rough spots? Some tall, hunky doctor with the hots for the owner of Jack’s Diner?” Evan grinned.
Lin’s heart almost leaped out of her chest. She didn’t know how she knew, but she knew Evan was serious. “You could try and convince me,” she said lightly, trying to match his bantering tone.
Evan leaned over and took her in his arms. Lin melted into his warmth, into his protective embrace. I could stay here forever, she thought. He kissed her with such tenderness that it brought tears to her eyes. This man was slowly easing his way inside her heart, into a place that she’d reserved for that special someone, whom she had almost given up hope of ever finding.
Chapter 18
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
New York City
Nick felt himself growing weaker by the day. The latest chemo treatment had knocked him for a loop. Evan, as he now referred to his doctor, said it was normal. Normal, but he refused to allow Nick to leave the hospital until his blood count was up. He’d received two units of red blood cells and one unit of platelets just that morning, but it was still one of his worst days so far.
The donor drive had ended weeks ago, but Nick knew that had been the easy part. Now it was a matter of taking the thousands of samples and trying to match as many factors as possible—the more matches, the better the chance that he wouldn’t reject the donor’s marrow, if it came down to that. He’d asked Evan to be frank with him. What were the odds that he’d bounce back from this silent killer that had invaded his body? The good doctor had said he couldn’t say, as he wasn’t a betting man. Nick knew it was highly likely that he would die. He’d accepted it.
Trevor had drawn up a new will for him. If he died and a matching donor was found after his death, he wanted whoever it was to have the ten million dollars he’d promised. He might be the biggest bastard alive, but with death lurking around the corner and licking at his heels, Nick had softened. He knew it was highly unusual for a cancer victim to make such a request after his death, but Trevor seemed to understand his need to fulfill his promise. It might change the lucky donor’s life. Shit, who was he kidding? Ten million bucks. There was no might about it.
The nurses were starting to warm up to him. He’d bitched and griped, yet they continued to smile and treat him with respect, even though he knew they pitied him.
He was forty-three years old. It was highly unlikely he’d see forty-four. Nick had many regrets, but his biggest was that he and Chelsea, bitch that she was, had never been able to have a child.
“Mr. Pemberton?” A nurse, one he wasn’t familiar with, stepped into his room.
“Yes?”
“This was delivered to another room by mistake. Just wanted to bring it up. I thought it might be something important.”
“Thanks,” he said.
The box was almost too heavy for him to lift. He hoped it wasn’t one of those god-awful fruitcakes Nora baked during the holidays. Just the thought of all those candied cherries made him nauseous.
There was no address; whatever it was hadn’t gone through the USPS. He ripped the cardboard apart. Inside was one of those iPod things all the kids had today. There was a typed note with instructions on what to do. He followed them, curious to see if this was someone’s idea of a prank. He placed the earbuds in his ears and turned the volume to a comfortable level.
“Dr. Steffani, I’m Jason Vinery. We spoke on the phone.”
“Yes, please sit down. I know you’ve come a long way. I don’t have a lot of time left. Skin cancer, of all things. My actions all those years ago have tormented me. Sometimes I think God is punishing me with this wicked disease, because every time I see myself, I think of it as a reminder. I had Louise take down all the mirrors. There is no way to tell this other than the way it happened. If you have any questions, I would very much appreciate if you would ask them when I finish. This isn’t something I’ve been looking forward to.”
“Whatever you’re comfortable doing, Doctor. I’m ready when you are.”
“Look, Steffani, I’ve given you hundreds and thousands of dollars for that…that nuthouse you run. The least you can do is listen to me!”
“I’m happy to listen, Nicholas. Stop screaming and calm down. You sound like one of my patients. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?”
“It’s Naomi. I think she’s losing her mind.”
“And what has Mrs. Pemberton done to make you think so?”
“She hides in her room all day. She won’t let Nick Jr. out of her sight. I’m afraid if something isn’t done, she might hurt my son.”
“Nicholas, just because a mother seems to be a bit…over-protective of her son doesn’t mean she’s out to cause him harm. Has she hurt him?”
“No! Er, not that I’ve seen, anyway. She’s become nothing more than a thorn in my side since she lost that damned baby!”
“What did you just say?”
“You heard exactly what I said. She was pregnant. She carried the kid around for nine months, and it was dead.”
“Stillborn is what we say.”
“Dead is dead, Dr. Steffani. She’s not right in the head. Imagine what my business associates would think if they knew my wife never left her room. She hasn’t been out of the house once since the kid died.”
“I’m curious, Nicholas. Did Naomi see an obstetrician through out her term?”
“What do you think I am? One of those backwoods idiots you seem to be so fond of? Of course she saw a doctor!”
“And was there any indication of trouble? The child was active throughout the pregnancy?”
“How the hell would I know? She was disgusting to look at. She was so fat! I wasn’t about to touch that…thing causing her stomach to protrude.”
“And you felt that way when she was pregnant with Nick Jr., too?”
“What does the way I felt about my wife looking like the Blob have to do with her mental status? She’s not normal. For all the money I’ve passed your way, I would think you’d jump at the chance to care for her.”
“Nicholas, calm down. You’re going to suffer a stroke. Relax. Take a deep breath.”
“Cut the psychobabble!”
“If you want me to help your wife, there are certain things I need to know. If you’d rather consult another doctor, I can recommend someone.”
“What is it you want to know?”
“That went on for weeks before he
actually brought her to the center, as I called it back then. We talked daily on the phone. He would threaten my career. I would try to calm him down. Finally, it got to the point where I refused his calls. That was before he brought her to the center. I thought he would strike me when he brought Naomi in that sad day. She was so thin. Her eyes were sunken and hollow. I’m sure she barely weighed a hundred pounds. What struck me the most, though, were the bruises all over her body. There were dozens, some yellowed, some purple, and the others, well, they were fresh. When I asked Nicholas if he beat his wife, he raised his hand to me.”
“I’ll make sure you never practice medicine again if word of this gets out, do you understand? She’s crazy! Hitting her is the only way I get a response out of her! She makes me do this, Dr. Steffani. Do you understand, she makes me do this to her!”
“Leave her. I’ll see what I can do. Maybe some time away from the city, here in the country with the pure air, maybe she will come around in time.”
“I don’t trust you, Dr. Steffani! When I leave here today, the next time I return it will be to arrange for Naomi’s body to be shipped—do you understand?—shipped back to the city? Do you get my drift?”
“Three months later Nicholas returned to retrieve Naomi’s body. And the rest, you know.”
Nick removed the earbuds from his ears, his hands trembling like dry leaves in a light wind. If this was Jason Vinery’s way of getting even after all these months, he would ruin him. He’d hire someone just like him to do the job.
But something told Nick that Jason hadn’t sent the iPod to him out of spite or to elicit a response. Nick remembered hearing his father talk to the man. He had never met the doctor and had no reason to believe the accuracy of the conversation he’d just heard. If what he just saw and heard on the iPod was true…What? He’d dig his father’s body up and kick his ass? He felt totally powerless for the first time in his life. If his father had paid Steffani to kill his mother, what had really happened to the sister he never knew about?
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