by Avery Aster
Ryder frowns. “Is Joely there now?”
“Joely will be there,” Vardalos says, his voice calm. “She will be ready to take off.”
Is that just coincidence? Had she just brought passengers? If we had to wait two hours for her to fly here, I think I would burst into flame or explode on the spot.
Jakey. I can’t stand being so far away from him when he’s in danger. Is he crying for Ryder and me? Is he afraid? Ryder knows what this feels like, what Jakey is going through, and I’m too scared to ask Ryder exactly what it was like. I can’t face knowing Jakey must be feeling the same things.
Getting down to the small plane is a blur. Joely’s pretty, youthful face is pale. Eyes stricken with horror, she says, “I’ll get you to the mainland as fast as possible. I promise.”
Then we’re in the air, flying through the dark toward Miami.
Ryder puts his arm around my shoulders. Since we’re strapped into the airplane’s seats, he can’t do much else. “I love you,” he says. “I couldn’t face this without you, Tessa. You’re the only thing keeping me from falling apart. What are we going to do if—?”
“Don’t,” I say, cutting him off. “We need to keep it together for Jakey. We’ll find him. Be strong.”
“Ever since I was abducted, I had to be strong,” he says. “I’m not as strong as you.”
“I’m not strong, I’m terrified,” I whisper. “Oh God, I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have left him.”
When Ryder winces with guilt, I regret my outburst. “Ryder—”
“Don’t do that, Tessa,” he says. “Don’t say you take the blame for this when you really blame me. I can see it in your eyes. You’re furious with me. You hate me. You’re thinking that if I hadn’t insisted on this game to win you back, this would never have happened.”
“Ryder, that’s not true. I’m not blaming you. I know you went through hell. You never dreamed anything could happen to Jakey.”
“But I should have been aware that it could, since it happened to me. Since I was hauled off from that fucking trail in the woods.”
“Ryder, you said he threatened to kill you. Did—did he kill the boys he took?”
Ryder doesn’t answer. I hear Joely’s voice on the radio. Hear the strain in her tone.
“What if—what if we’re too late?” I want to vomit.
“We’re not. Jakey has just gone missing within the last hour. Your mom checked on him at nine o’clock.”
One hour. I want to laugh hysterically. If we’d been one hour earlier…if Ryder had told me earlier…
A sob escapes my lips. I wish Ryder had given me more credit. He didn’t tell me because he thought…what? That I would hold him responsible for his own abduction…?
Then I see. I understand. Ryder was shocked and disgusted by his reaction to the physical stimulation done by his captor and he feared it meant he could be the same kind of monster. He was afraid I would think that.
Haltingly I whisper those thoughts to him. “That’s why you refused to tell me? You really feared I’d think you were the same?”
He hesitates. Then says, “Yeah. I don’t know what the fuck was wrong with me. Why it happened.”
“Nothing was wrong with you. It was just your body, not you. How can you even think you are like that sick monster? You are a good man. You’ve been nothing but good to me and to Jakey. How could you ever believe I would think badly of you?”
“Why couldn’t I control my body?” he asks, his tone hard. He looks down at his powerful, toned body and grimaces.
“Because we can’t do that,” I say. “But it doesn’t mean anything.” Then I remember something else. “Xavier knew. He knew you were abducted.”
“Yeah, he knew. He was there. I was twelve, Xav was thirteen. We used to ride mountain bikes in the woods on the edge of town. We used to work on stunts—climbing rocks with the bikes, doing jumps. Sometimes there were other guys there, but that evening we were on our own. I’d noticed the van there. I figured it was some pervert watching us. He’d been there a few times. Xavier and I used to make jokes about the sick guy and what he was probably doing in the van.”
I wince. “But why did you go there, if he was there?”
“Xavier and I weren’t afraid. We were young. Invincible. I figured if some old guy tried to grab us, we could outrun him or beat him up.” He shakes his head. “What I never factored in was the gun.”
“The gun?”
“He held a gun on us. When he dragged me to the van, Xavier grabbed his bike and took off. Xav says he was going to get help. And he did. But it was too late. No one could find me.”
“Oh Lord,” I whisper.
“I know why he left—if he’d stayed, he might have been taken too. Or shot. He had to run and leave me. But he left me to get completely fucked up.” He looks down at his hands. “When I got out, Xav was afraid I hated him for abandoning me. I told him I understood.” He gazes at me with pained turquoise eyes. “That’s why he let me have you, even though he loved you.”
I swallow hard. “Where did he take you? Stanton, I mean.” Could he have used the same place to take Jakey?
“It was a bungalow out on the highway. Isolated from its neighbors.”
“We should go there—to that house.”
“It’s gone, Tessa. Once I made money from fighting, I bought the place and had it demolished. The police had gone over it extensively after I escaped. They thought they might find…bodies. But they didn’t. There’s a farm behind the place. They dug up the fields, but didn’t find anything.”
“The b-bodies are still somewhere.” Then I remember that those bodies are the remains of innocent little boys. Tears stream down my cheeks.
“Jakey is still okay,” he says. “I’m sure of it.”
But I’m thinking of the other children who aren’t; the ones who were never found. How are we going to find Jakey? There are alerts being sent out across the state—Vardalos took care of that as we left for the plane.
“But if we get him out, maybe he’ll be ruined for life.”
Ryder says the words under his breath. They slip out, I think, by accident.
And he would know. I know how haunted he has been; haunted every day by the horror that happened when he was twelve. “Stop that! Don’t say that!” I can’t stand it.
“I’m sorry, Tessa. I didn’t mean to say it.” His eyes are hollow.
“But you think it’s true!” Suddenly I’m hitting Ryder. Slapping his shoulder uncontrollably. It’s not his fault, but how could he say that? “It’s not true! It can’t be!”
He lets me hit him, but I stop just as quick. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“I shouldn’t have said that. He’s little and he can put this behind him. He’s so young maybe he’ll forget. Getting him safe is all that matters.”
I have to believe that. But stupidly I ask, “What was it like…after you got out, Ryder?”
He clenches his fists. “I—I was different. My disappearance had been on the news and it was news when I got the little kid out. But I didn’t want anyone to think I was fucked up. So I tried to act normal.”
“How did I never hear anything about it?”
“That was my father,” he says. “He asked people not to discuss it for my sake. That’s why we stayed near Westingham. My mom wanted to move away—to somewhere where she wasn’t haunted by the memories. My father refused. He didn’t want to leave his business and start again. And he got a lot of business after that—maybe curiosity or notoriety, maybe people felt sorry for him. My dad said it was better we stayed where people knew why I was acting like a wacko and would sympathize. So we stayed and people didn’t talk about it, because my dad made them believe it would set me off like some kind of psycho. My dad thought I’d become a psycho, I know. Once he said it was my fault; that I should have been able to get away, like Xavier had.”
“Oh my God.” I’m furious at his father. How could he have thought such a thing? I
s this why Ryder’s family is so distant to him? I bet it is guilt, not blame. But I’m still truly angry because Ryder’s parents should have been showering him with love.
Ryder looks out over the water. “I keep thinking there’s got to be a clue I can use to find Stanton. I’ve got to remember something that can help. I have to go back there, in my head, and remember fucking everything.”
My stomach dips. I realize what that means. We’re landing.
* * *
Even though I want to be searching for Jakey right now, I don’t know where to start.
“We should go and see your mother,” Ryder says.
“I want to be looking for our son,” I protest. I hug myself, as if my body will fly apart if I let go.
“I know.” Ryder puts his arm around me. “But we’ve got to figure out where to start.”
Police investigators met us on our arrival. So did the head of the private firm engaged by Vardalos. They have been combing the neighborhood and are searching the entire small town and its outskirts. Ryder told the cops and the investigators he was kept in a bungalow on the highway, and they are concentrating on buildings like that. Ones outside of the main part of town and fairly isolated.
I hear a whipping sound in the air and look up. A large black helicopter sets down on a landing pad and the moment it touches, a tall, dark-haired man jumps out.
Xavier!
Ducking the blade, he runs over. The first thing he does is hug me. “I’m so sorry, Tessa. But we will have Jakey home safe. And soon.” He looks to Ryder. Xavier bears cuts and bruises too, but his face looks nowhere near as mashed up as Ryder’s. “I’m sorry, King. If I could have given the police something to use all those years ago…I went to get help, and I did fucking nothing to help you. I didn’t even look at the plate number of the van.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Ryder says.
“I think this man targeted Jakey to get revenge on Ryder,” I say. “He moved into the house next door to us six months ago. He’s been planning this for a long time.” Stanton knew he had to take Jakey away from his home, so he must have another place somewhere. It could be anything: a rented house, a deserted cabin, a warehouse. “Shouldn’t we see if he owns other property?”
Ryder shakes his head. “The cops will be doing that, and I asked Vardalos’s private investigators to look into that too. They’ve come up with nothing.”
Xavier takes my hand. “My car is here. I’ll take the both of you to Tessa’s home.”
I’m racking my brain. Is there anything Rob said to me or my mother that could give me a clue? Did he ever talk about a cottage? Another place where he lived—where did he say he moved from?
Now I realize he carefully said nothing concrete at all. He gave “details” about his life, but nothing that pinned down where he came from, where he could be now.
He claimed he’d retired from teaching but was that even true—I mean, was he ever a teacher? Was it all fake?
Rob Stanton said he’s sixty one. Ryder was twelve when he was abducted and that’s fifteen years ago. Stanton would have been forty-six. Could he have been a teacher then?
None of that helps us now.
We’ve arrived at my house.
Mom runs out toward the car, her face pale under the outdoor lights of our house. It’s past one in the morning. She’s wrapped in a robe.
“I’m so sorry. I feel like I brought this monster into our lives.” She hugs me.
“You didn’t. This monster abducted Ryder fifteen years ago.” I hold my mother tightly. Together we manage to get inside the house. A female detective is there, in our house. She asks me questions, though I say desperately, “I don’t know what can help find my son!”
Ryder tells me they’ve received tips and the police are checking them out.
“Stanton bribed Jakey with toys,” I tell the police detective—Detective Kate Shear is her name. I keep thinking of Kate from the TV show Castle, though Detective Shear has cropped dark hair, and she’s short and square in stature.
“They’ve been bagged and have gone to our lab,” Shear tells me.
But Mom suddenly bolts up from her chair. “I missed one,” she says. “Rob gave it to Jakey the day after you left, Tessa. Jakey was crying that it was lost, but I see it now. I see it under the edge of the sofa.”
Ryder lunges and pulls out a black plastic model of a horse. It’s very detailed and Jakey loves animals of all kinds.
“It looks new,” Ryder says.
Xavier looks at Ryder. “You remember that model shop outside of Westingham? The old guy who ran it was an avid collector. Remember we used to ride out there to look at stuff?”
“The old guy always thought we were going to shoplift.” Ryder stares at the plastic horse in his hand. “He had sets of these. Miniature animals and soldiers.”
He looks up. “Either Stanton went out there deliberately to buy this or he’s got a place near there—” Ryder breaks off. “I’m going out there.”
“The store is closed. It’s the middle of the night,” Xavier points out.
“I need to do something,” Ryder says.
“I’m coming too,” I say.
* * *
The shop is called Howard’s Modeling Supplies. Once we’re out there, Ryder and I, standing in the parking lot, I feel swamped with despair.
What did I hope to find?
The store is on a highway that leads into town. There couldn’t have been much here fifteen years ago. Now, there’s a subdivision on one side of the road.
“He must have a place further out of town,” I say desperately. “He wouldn’t want to be close to so many houses, would he?”
Ryder clasps my hand. My hand feels ice-cold and his is strong and reassuring. “It’s probably along this road,” Ryder says.
“But it could be anywhere along the road. Anywhere. Or on a side road. It might not even be near here at all.” My voice rises in panic. But I know one thing—if I didn’t have Ryder with me, I couldn’t face this at all. I think my mind would have snapped.
In my heart, I believe we won’t lose Jakey, because I believe in Ryder.
Most of the houses are dark, since it’s so late. Ryder drives slowly along the highway and we peer at each house we pass. Jakey could be in any one of—
Ryder suddenly mutters, “Shit!”
He cranks the wheel, making us skid and turn in the middle of the road. I cry out in surprise and grip the door handle.
“The house we just passed—it had no lights on. No outdoor lights at all. There was plywood over some of the windows.”
“You saw that?”
“Yeah, but my brain didn’t register it at first. Stanton did that at the bungalow. He covered up the basement windows so no light would show; so no one would see in and we couldn’t get out.”
He cuts the lights and drives slowly into the yard of a non-descript, high-ranch style bungalow. Unlike the other houses, the outdoor lights are off, plunging everything into darkness, except for the moonlight. Drapes are tightly drawn across the living room windows. The front basement windows have grilles on them and are pitch black. But on the side windows, I see the plywood screwed in place.
Ryder whispers, “Stay here.”
I do, long enough to phone my house and tell Detective Shear where we are. Then I look back at the house and gasp. Ryder is approaching it, moving stealthily.
Now I can see there is a faint glimmer of light at the edge of one of the plywood panels. Someone is in the basement with a light on.
There’s a side door, I realize, at the level of the driveway. Ryder reaches it, and he opens the screen door as I move toward him. Then he lifts his leg and slams his boot into the inside door. The door flies in.
My heart almost stops. Jakey! Stanton has to know we’re here, if he’s in the basement.
I race after Ryder. When I stumble in the doorway, I see him at the bottom of the stairs. Ryder has stopped dead, but his hands are clenched in fists.
>
Now I understand why he has trained and fought so obsessively. He was preparing for this moment.
He was preparing to kill the man who abducted him.
Ryder takes a step into the basement.
Holding my breath, I stop on the threshold. I can see Rob Stanton. He’s on his feet, facing Ryder. He’s grinning confidently. “You always were too fucking smart for your own good, Ryder. But this time, I won’t hesitate to shoot you.”
My brain suddenly absorbs two horrific things. Jakey is lying on a sagging beige couch that is along the back wall, tied hand and foot. And Stanton is leveling a gun at Ryder’s heart.
Chapter Nine
The Confrontation
Jakey sees Ryder and cries out, “Daddy! I want to go home!”
What should I do? I’ve called the police, so I don’t need to run and get help. Maybe I could get a weapon and I could do something to Stanton, knock him out, distract him…but I’m too scared to leave Jakey and Ryder. Too terrified I’ll only fail, and too horrified to be away from my son for another second. Then I hear Jakey’s tiny, frightened voice cry, “Mommy!”
He saw me. Now Rob Stanton knows I am there. Stanton’s cruel, smug eyes lock on mine though he continues to point the gun at Ryder’s chest. Ryder jerks around and when I see his eyes, I am frozen with fear. They look so filled with intense sorrow.
He thinks he’s going to die.
I want to be sick. I have to hold it together. For Jakey and for Ryder.
“Come in, Tessa,” Stanton says. “I assume the police are on their way?”
I try to read his tone. Shouldn’t he be afraid? Why does he sound so calm? What does he intend to do?
I can’t believe I ever thought Stanton was a handsome, decent man—a potential mate for my mom. His eyes glow with sick pleasure. He’s smirking at me, absolutely thrilled by the horror he’s creating. He’s thrilled to be destroying Jakey.
I want to run to him and tear him apart with my bare hands, but I know he’d shoot me. Then Ryder. Then he’d do things to Jakey…
I don’t speak but I take a step forward, even though I’m sick and shaky with fear. I want to get to Jakey—I need to get to my son—even if I die in the attempt.
