by Anne Herries
It was so unexpected that he could not at first credit how much he had enjoyed that kiss. He had not thought it would be hard to make love to her, but now he understood for the first time that it would be a pleasure.
What had changed? Phipps could not be certain. Yes, she had lost a little weight, but it was not that alone. He’d once had a plump mistress and she’d suited him well enough, but his feelings for Amanda were not merely tolerance now. What was it that had made him see her with new eyes? Was it the glow she carried with her, or her sense of humour that had not showed itself so much in society—or was it the freedom she had to be herself in the country amongst her own people?
She looked up at him curiously, her eyes dark with a look of smouldering desire that had been newly awakened, suddenly aware of something that he guessed she had thought little of before.
‘I beg your pardon,’ he said huskily. ‘You looked so adorable that I could not resist. I hope you will forgive me?’
‘Is there anything to forgive?’ she asked shyly. ‘We are to be wed and I fear I am quite ignorant in these matters, even though I am a country girl and aware of the basics of life, but...I had as lief be taught a little before our wedding night, if it pleases you?’
Phipps looked down at her, feeling an odd sensation somewhere in his solar plexus. ‘It would please me beyond anything,’ he murmured, his voice deep and thick with the desire that she had unwittingly aroused. ‘I enjoyed our kiss very much, but we have some time to wait and I must be careful not to carry it too far too soon. I ought not to take liberties even if you are to be my wife.’
Amanda did not argue, merely lowering her gaze. He sensed a slight withdrawal and wondered if he’d hurt her in some way, though he could see no reason for it. If he held back from indulging his desire to make love to her, it was for her own sake—she must remain innocent until they wed because no one could ever be certain of the future. It would be quite shocking if something should happen to him and the marriage never happen. Had he followed his own desires... A smile touched his lips, for the picture of her lying naked in his arms was enticing; her lush curves would, he thought, tempt many a man—but there was so much more to the woman than her body.
‘You caused quite a sensation,’ Amanda told him, resuming her bantering chatter almost without pause as they walked on. ‘Mr Greene actually told me that he could not have chosen better for me himself—and Miss Petersham said you were the embodiment of her dreams...’
Phipps laughed to hear himself so described and the slight awkwardness was forgot, though it gave him pause for thought. Amanda was so much more than he’d imagined when he’d seen her in London, for she had been in Miss Langton’s shadow for most of the time and, being a modest girl, did not put herself forward in society. Here in the country, she was in her element and had changed or grown...or perhaps it was simply that he had not previously understood her.
There was, he realised, much more to the lady he’d asked to be his wife than he had first thought.
* * *
Changing her gown for one more suited to an afternoon to be spent driving, Amanda was lost in thought. Phipps’s kiss after he licked the strawberry juice from his finger was something she had never encountered before. His previous kisses had been sweet and enjoyable—but that kiss... It had shaken her to the very core of her being, arousing such a whirl of fierce passions that she had been for a moment swept quite away. She’d seen something in his eyes, an answering need that made her feel that he wanted to lay her down in the sweet meadow grass and... There her mind stopped, for to imagine those sensations brought to fulfilment was shocking.
What a little wanton she was to wish that he’d given in to that urge. In her ignorance she had blundered in, causing him to retreat and make polite apologies—but she had been at fault for showing her pleasure too much. Amanda had not realised that it would repulse him if she responded so eagerly, but she’d seen the banking down of the fires and guessed that he had acted on impulse. Phipps expected her to be sensible, to be a complacent wife. She might respond to his lovemaking, but she must not initiate more or show too much eagerness.
She realised that it was going to be harder than she’d imagined hiding her feelings for Phipps once they were married. If his kiss could arouse such fire in her—a blazing inferno that had threatened to sweep away all barriers—what would happen on their wedding night? Would he be disgusted if she gave herself to him with complete abandon?
Now that was going beyond what was right and proper. If Mama guessed what was in her heart, she would not call Amanda a sensible girl. In general she was placid, slow to rise to anger. She had always done what she saw to be right, never holding back when it came to helping others, and she saw that it might be difficult to hold back enough of herself when she lay in Phipps’s arms. Yet she would not have him made uncomfortable; he must not be made to feel guilty because he could not love her. However much it cost her, she would never ask him to give more of himself than he felt able...but perhaps he did not find her unattractive, for a man could not kiss like that and feel nothing—could he?
* * *
Being at heart still a sensible girl, Amanda banished all her hopes and fears as she joined Phipps for their drive that afternoon. He had brought with him a pair of beautiful grey horses, one of his servants driving them in easy stages from his home. Amanda’s father had insisted on stabling them, though it had meant sending some of their own hacks to be housed at a farm nearby.
‘I chose these because I thought them the most gentle of my teams,’ he told her. ‘You ride very well, Amanda, and your horses are spirited, but driving is different.’
She told him she was entirely in his hands and he nodded his approval. For a start he asked her to observe the way he did things, but then he handed the reins over, telling her how to hold them and nodding his approval as she took them exactly as he instructed. She was at last permitted to let the horses go and they proceeded at a stately trot with Phipps smiling and approving as she handled the ribbons with such ease that he questioned her.
‘Are you sure you have never driven before?’
‘Only Nanny’s gig once or twice, but never a team—and never horses of this quality and breeding. I always found it easier to ride for the roads here are not good for driving, as we have seen this afternoon, and I can go everywhere on my mare. However, I do wish to learn and I am grateful for your patience, Phipps.’
‘You are a quick learner and a pleasure to teach,’ he said in such a way that she thought he truly meant it. ‘I believe in time you will be a notable whip.’
‘Thank you, I am flattered.’
‘No, I do not flatter. You are a very surprising young woman, Amanda. I had not thought—’ He broke off as he heard a sound and then suddenly grabbed the reins from her. ‘Get down, Amanda; drop your head as low as you can and hold on tight...’
Even as he spoke, they heard the sound of a shot from close by. It seemed to have been aimed at Amanda, for it whistled over her head and, had he not shouted at her, must, she thought, have hit her. Phipps had put the horses to a gallop and they raced over very rough roads for some minutes, shaking her to the core and jolting her so that she felt she must be bruised all over. At last, when she began to feel uncomfortably sick, he reined the sweating horses in and then stopped them, turning to look at her, his mouth thinning in anger.
‘Forgive me, that was Turkish treatment,’ he said in a voice deep with emotion. ‘I caught sight of the gun, its barrel glinting in the sunshine, and my instinct told me it was aimed at you. I am sorry for shocking you. Are you all right?’
Amanda was feeling much shaken, but she managed to smile at him. ‘A little shaken, both physically and mentally,’ she confessed. ‘Who could it have been? I have never been shot at in my life. Do you imagine it was a poacher?’
‘I very much doubt it,’ he replied. ‘Poachers work in stealth, mostly at night and they do not shoot at people. I have been trained to notice such things an
d the glinting of the sun on metal warned me, but I saw only the gun, not who aimed it.’
‘But why would anyone wish to shoot me?’
‘I do not know,’ Phipps said, frowning. ‘You have always walked safely on your father’s lands, as you told me, but...’ He hesitated, then, ‘I should perhaps have said something before, but I had dismissed it.’
Amanda lifted her eyes to his. ‘What did you dismiss, Phipps?’
‘It was the night we arrived here. I was not tired and I sat drinking a glass of brandy in my room for some time, just thinking. Then I walked to the window and looked out. My candle was lit and I must have been visible to anyone outside. Just for a moment I thought something moved in the darkness, but by the time I blew the candle out so that I could see better, it had gone. I imagined it must be one of the keepers.’
‘Yes, so would I,’ Amanda said. ‘Papa has some three or four of them to patrol the estate and I dare say he was taking a last stroll past the house.’
‘Supposing that it was not a keeper but someone watching the house—watching me or you, Amanda?’
‘Who...?’ She stared at him, eyes widening as she saw the look in his own. ‘You think it might have been the marquis...Shearne, do you not? That he might be vindictive enough to seek revenge because he believes that I ruined his chances with Cynthia?’
‘I gave it but a passing thought until that rogue fired at you,’ Phipps said, an angry glint in his eyes. ‘Jackson arrived here this morning. He had found no trace of Miss Langton, but as we know that Brock discovered her and carried her home that does not surprise me. What he did say was that he’d heard disturbing rumours of Shearne. He went back to the inn where we met him and...’ He paused, clearly reluctant to go on.
‘Pray tell me, Phipps. I would hear it all.’
‘It is an ugly story, Amanda. From what Jackson was told Shearne was in a raging temper the next morning and...he thrashed his servant, leaving him lying on the ground bleeding. He then tried to engage post boys and a groom to drive his coach, but when none would serve him, he took a gentleman’s horse from the stables and rode off without paying his shot, but leaving his carriage and horses behind.’
‘That was disgraceful behaviour, but no more than might be expected of such a man.’
‘Well, the innkeeper summoned a magistrate and the owner of the horse put in a claim for compensation, such an uproar and the poor servant lying close to death in the innkeeper’s chamber.’
‘That is the worst of all—to treat one’s servants in such a way is what Papa would never put up with. Shearne can never return to society if this becomes known.’
‘You may depend that he knows it—and that is what makes him more dangerous.’
‘You think that it was he who watched your room—and he that fired on us?’
‘I think it likely for I am aware of no other enemies, Amanda—and you are so well known, not to say loved, by your people, that I think it can only be a man so eaten up by petty jealousy and anger that he would do anything to spoil another man’s happiness. He accused me of having snaffled the best prize on the marriage mart and was so rude, as well as violent, that I was obliged to give him a leveller.’
‘Yes, you told me he was drunk—but is that cause enough for hatred? To kill me simply to be revenged on you...’
‘I see you find it hard to believe, but I have met men of his ilk before. You also aroused his anger when you shielded Miss Field from his amorous intentions. I dare say he dislikes you as much as he dislikes me.’
Amanda could hardly repress the shudder. She felt suddenly cold, as if a dark shadow had obscured the sun. ‘That is quite horrid,’ she said and twisted her hands in her lap. ‘What are we to do? If Mama knew...it would quite spoil her pleasure in the wedding.’
‘I shall speak to your father,’ Phipps said. ‘It would not harm to double the number of keepers patrolling the grounds, but it should be kept from Lady Hamilton, and Miss Field also, if possible.’
‘Yes, I see that Papa must know,’ Amanda said. She reached for his free hand and took it. ‘Thank you for saving my life, Phipps.’
‘It was my privilege and my pleasure,’ he said and grasped her hand tighter. ‘I could not have done otherwise, my love.’
She smiled and then tremulously removed her hand from his. ‘We should go back for tea, Phipps. Mama will expect us—and we must not distress her.’
‘I would not do so for the world,’ he assured her. ‘But are you able to face her? This has not overset you?’
‘I must admit that I wish it had not happened, but I do not see why we should let the spiteful actions of an evil man change our plans—or spoil them.’
‘You are as brave as I might have expected,’ he said. ‘If you will give me leave, I shall send word to Brock, for though I am equal to standing up to this devil alone, I believe he would wish to know. They have history, Amanda—and if the time for a reckoning has come, Brock will want to be here when it happens.’
‘Of course,’ she said and smiled at him, hiding the terrible fear for the marquis that had entered her mind. ‘Two heads must be better than one. If we are not to live our lives in fear of being murdered, a plan must be made and you will know how it must be done, for you are both soldiers, are you not?’
‘You put me on my mettle,’ he said and laughed down at her. ‘I have been used to commanding my men, some of whom are in my employ still—and Jackson shall fetch them here. You shall not be shot at again, Amanda—not if I can prevent it.’
He drove them back to the house without speaking, handing the phaeton over to his groom and stopping to speak with him in urgent tones as Amanda went into the house. She ran upstairs to her room, changing quickly into a tea gown and splashing cool water on her heated cheeks before going down to join her mother and Jane in the parlour for tea.
It was not easy to smile as if nothing untoward had happened, but she did not wish to frighten either Mama or Jane, and so made herself laugh with all the ease in the world. Papa did not come in for tea, as was his usual habit unless he was detained by estate business, and nor did Phipps. She guessed that they were deep in a discussion as to how to keep Amanda safe whilst every effort was made to discover where the marquis was staying. Once they had found him, he could be watched and if he should make another such attempt...
She dismissed the pictures from her mind, accepting a cup of tea and a small cake from the hovering maid, but although she sipped her tea she made no attempt to eat. The food would have lodged in her throat and, despite all the exercise she’d done that day, she had no appetite.
* * *
‘You cannot be serious?’ Lord Hamilton stared at Phipps in dismay as he unfolded his story. ‘Are you telling me that a rogue actually fired on my daughter on our own land?’
‘As to whether he meant to hit Amanda or me I cannot say for certain, but I told her to get down, for if either of us was to be shot I had far rather it be me than her. The shot whistled over her head and must have hit her had she not obeyed me, but she did so instantly and without the slightest show of hysterics.’
Lord Hamilton smiled oddly. ‘My daughter is a sensible girl, sir. She would not give way to distress over such a thing, nor would she show fear. As a child she was always ready to throw her heart over any fence and she will hold her nerve now. Her mama is another matter. We must do what we can to prevent her from hearing of this, for she might have a fit of the vapours and would undoubtedly forbid the girl to stir from the house. I shall make certain you are both watched wherever you go.’
‘I have sent for some men who served under me in Spain and France. Once they get here they will search for whoever has done this thing and watch him wherever he goes. I believe it to be Shearne and if he is discovered in the vicinity it will be an easy matter to shadow him; my men are used to such work for we were engaged in special missions for Wellington, though it was not generally known.’
Lord Hamilton looked at him with a new respect. ‘
You must have risked more than most to serve your country, sir.’
‘We all served the best way we could and my men had their methods. Until they get here, it will be best if one of us and a groom accompanies Amanda wherever she goes—though I believe Shearne does not much care which of us he kills, for the death of either would serve his purpose.’
‘He must be a vindictive devil.’
‘If I was at liberty, I could tell you a story that would make your toes curl,’ Phipps said, ‘but it is not my secret to divulge. Let it be enough to say that if it would not have ruined a young lady’s life, he should have been stricken from society years ago.’
‘I can guess what you may not tell me,’ Lord Hamilton said. ‘It makes me shudder to think that such a man is at large—and to fear for my daughter...’
‘You have my word that no harm will come to her if I can prevent it, sir.’
‘Yes, I believe you.’ Lord Hamilton nodded and looked thoughtful. ‘Not a word to her mama then, and we’ll do our best to make sure this evil man does not harm either of you.’
Phipps took his leave and went up to his own room. He too was thoughtful, for the incident had caused him to feel such a surge of anger against whoever had fired that shot that he had not been able to order his thoughts for some time. When he’d told Amanda to get her head down his only thought was to protect her, for he could not be sure who the sniper meant to shoot at—but, as he’d told her father, he had preferred that if either should be shot it should be he that took the ball. The thought of Amanda hurt or killed had been so horrifying that he had not been able to support it.
Any gentleman must needs protect the lady he intended to marry—that went without saying—but Phipps had not known how desperate the urge to protect her would be until the danger arose. A slight smile touched his mouth, for he realised that her mischievous smile, her generous manner and her courage had turned mere liking into something far more intense. She had, without particularly trying, become of more importance to him than he had imagined she could be at the start. He could not and did not call his feelings for Amanda romantic love, but he knew that she had found her way into his affections and that the prospect of a world that did not hold her in it was appalling.
