by Nikki Ash
“Done throwing a tantrum?” I ask and set down a mug for him on the desk.
He staggers over to the desk drawer and pulls out a fifth of Jack. His hate-filled eyes are on mine as he unscrews the lid and chugs it.
“Suit yourself,” I say coldly. “You’ll need a clear head, though, to sort your business. Well, what remains.”
“She left me,” he hisses. “She fucking left me.”
I’m not surprised. Being married to a gambling drunk would take a toll on anyone. It was the smartest move to leave him when she did. Her child deserves better than his father.
“Your father would—”
“Don’t you dare mention my father,” he roars, kicking the desk. His untouched coffee sloshes out and splatters the mahogany.
I raise an eyebrow. “He would have wanted you to have a place to stay.”
This catches him off guard. “You’d allow us to stay here?”
“Francesca already left, I thought.”
“She didn’t take Harrison.”
Irritation rises in my chest. “I own you now, Hunter Crenshaw. You can begin paying back your mountain of debt by keeping the property up to my standards and doing my bidding.”
He grits his teeth before knocking back another swallow of the alcohol. “I hate you,” he sneers.
“Hate doesn’t pay the bills. I suggest you find something that does. Make yourself useful. Sober the fuck up. And stay under my thumb where you belong.”
Riiiiing!
Riiiiing!
Riiiiing!
Absently, I pick up my desk phone and grunt out a hello.
“Heath,” Catrina hisses into the phone. “He’s being ridiculous!”
My heart rate spikes and I snap my portfolio folder closed. “Why? Did you tell him you were divorcing him? What’s wrong?”
She sobs. “I told him I was leaving. He forbade me to go! I’m no one’s to control!” She screams out a slew of obscenities at him.
“You’re mine,” I growl in agreement. “Tell him to go the fuck away.”
“Is that him?” I hear Elliot shout. “Are you fucking him? Did you fuck him under my roof?”
“Let me talk to him,” I snarl.
“No,” she snaps. “He’s going to go the hell back to his office where he can whack off to his double-jointed porn whores! We’re over and he knows it!”
They struggle and I nearly crack the phone in my grip. “Catrina,” I bark.
“Let go of me, you whiney bastard!” she yells at him.
“Stop being a bitch!”
Slap!
“You scratched my eye!” Elliot wails. “I’ll be blind because of you!”
“I’ll carve them out and feed them to you if you dare lay your hands on me again!”
“Catrina…” I growl.
“I can’t take another second with this poor excuse for a man. Please come get me, Heath. I don’t care if we have to sleep in the car!” she cries out.
I glance out the window and groan. The rain is coming down so hard and has been for hours. I’ll have a helluva time getting out if the roads are flooded over. While she bitches more at Elliot, I run my fingers through my hair in frustration.
“It’s awful out,” I grumble.
“I don’t care! Just get me out of here!”
When she screams again and the line goes dead, I hang up the phone and burst from my office, my heart in my throat.
I yank a coat on by the door and step outside. The wind is howling and fierce. Stinging pellets of rain assault my face. I look beyond the driveway at the road that leads to Low Valley Estate and groan. My fucking car will never make it past the rising water that’s now covering the road.
Her screams are on repeat in my head.
So help me if that motherfucker touches her again, I’ll scalp him. I’ll cut him from ear to ear. I’ll beat his goddamned face to a bloody pulp and stomp on it until he’s dead. Nobody fucks with my girl. Nobody.
I make it over to the barn, winded and already soaked as fuck. The horse Francesca bought for Harrison resides in the barn. My horse now. Everything is mine now.
Including Catrina.
And I’m going to get her once and for all.
Catrina
“WE’RE HAVING A GODDAMNED BABY together!” Elliot shouts as I pull article after article of clothing off their hangers and shove them into my suitcase while Helen quietly handles my drawers. She knows better than to say a damn word. Her look earlier made her opinion known and I made mine known as well. I. Don’t. Care.
“You’re a heartless asshole and I don’t love you. I never loved you!” I zip my suitcase closed and drop it to the ground, popping the handle up. “Helen, grab this one as well.” I leave the suitcase behind and scamper down the stairs, ignoring the growing pain in my back.
“And you love that peasant? He’s married to my sister!” he shouts after me. “And in case you haven’t been paying attention, she’s been begging to come home for nearly a year!”
“I don’t care.” I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and gulp it down, trying to tamper down the dizziness I’m feeling.
Elliot steps directly in front of me, this time being smart and not touching me. “I’ve given you everything, Catrina. Everything. You want to leave? Fine. But wait until after you have our baby.”
“So you can try to keep it from me?” I hiss. “Not a chance.” My palms come down onto the kitchen island and my head drops as I try to take a calming breath. My eyes close and I wish away the now searing pain that’s radiating through my body. I just need Heath. Once he’s here and takes me away from this place, everything will be okay. I hear the sound of a door slamming shut and I lift my head, the room spinning. My body sways slightly and I will it to stop. Then I stumble to the foyer, stopping just in front of him.
My Heath.
My love.
All mine.
He’s going to take the pain away.
Make everything better.
His presence comes in like the growing storm outside. Fierce, impenetrable, harsh. And I love it. I want to get swept up in him. To lose myself along with him and never return. When his intense gaze bores into me, I nearly collapse. The relief is almost too much to bear.
“Take me away from here now!” I beg, throwing my arms around him. My oversized bump prevents us from getting as close as I crave. His wet hand grips my chin and tilts my face up to meet his hardened eyes. His cheeks are wet from the rain and he’s visibly shivering because he’s completely soaked. I run my palms up and down his drenched jacket and realize water has pooled at his feet on the floor.
“My love, you need to calm down. The weather is horrendous outside. I was forced to come by horse because the roads are flooded.” The lights flicker and my gaze shoots up to the crystal chandelier above us. “We’ll never make it out of the drive.”
“No,” I cry. “We have to leave now.” My head falls to Heath’s chest as angry tears stream down my face.
“You will not be going anywhere,” Elliot demands, making his presence known. I feel Heath’s hands, which are now holding me, tighten before he releases me from his hold and moves toward Elliot.
“The lady has made her choice, now I suggest you accept it and run back into whatever cave you’ve crawled out of. You are not wanted nor needed.” Heath’s tone is calm and devoid of all emotion. He steps even closer to Elliot, his voice now merely a whisper. “I would hate to have to take everything from you the same way I did from Hunter.” He chuckles darkly. “Oh, who am I kidding? I would love to. Just give me a reason.”
Elliot’s eyes widen in shock, his face turning beet red. “Get out of my house now!” His voice is trembling, his eyes refusing to meet mine.
“Gladly, as soon as this storm passes.” I can’t see Heath’s face with his back to me, but I can hear the grin in his words. “Helen, why don’t you make yourself useful and put on a pot of coffee for me…for old times’ sake?” The lights flicker again. “It�
�s going to be a helluva storm. I hope you’ve checked your generator and supplies,” he says to Elliot, who is visibly shaking in anger.
Then he turns his attention to me. “C’mon, love. Let’s find a cozy corner in this place so we can discuss where we’ll travel first. You mentioned Canada. But I know you’ve always wanted to go to Paris. I’m thinking we can do one better and experience all of Europe.”
“She’s not going anywhere!” Elliot hisses, but Heath ignores him. Wrapping his arm around my waist, Heath guides us into the sitting room. Just as we’re sitting down, the pain in my back becomes so unbearable I let out a cry.
“Catrina, what’s the matter?” Heath edges closer to me, his arms wrapping around my back and waist, the rain from his jacket soaking through my clothes. His hand covers a small portion of my belly.
I try to speak but the pain increases and I’m left feeling breathless. My eyes close and I groan in agony. “My-my back,” I choke out.
“Oh shit,” I hear Elliot whisper. My eyes shoot open and follow his gaze down my body to see what he’s looking at.
“What is it?” I ask, not understanding why his face has turned pale. When Elliot doesn’t answer, but instead stays standing in front of me, frozen in place, I lose my patience with him. “What’s wrong?” I demand. “Fucking tell me!”
But before Elliot can answer, Heath yells, “Catrina! You’re bleeding. Helen! Get in here now.”
I look down over my large belly and see Heath is right. Blood is trickling down my thighs. My stomach tightens, and I double over in pain.
“Heath, something’s wrong,” I whimper, my hands wrapping around my stomach. “My baby.”
“It’s okay, my love. Breathe for me.” Heath lifts my legs onto the couch and I lie back against the pillows. The pain increases by the minute.
“What should we do?” Elliot asks worriedly.
“How about you make yourself useful and go get some goddamned towels!” Heath barks, and Elliot scurries away down the hall.
“It hurts,” I sob. “I need to go to the doctor.”
“I called for an ambulance,” Helen announces, “but the entire town is flooded. The roads aren’t safe. They said it could be hours before they can even attempt it.” My stomach tightens again, and I scream out in distress from the blinding pain.
“There’s no time,” I hiss. “I think the baby is coming now.” The pain hits again in full force and this time I feel a pressure in my groin that has me needing to pee.
“Her water broke!” Helen says. Her voice is shaky, but my lids are too heavy to look at her. I’m tired and the pain is too much, too all-consuming. I feel an ice-cold hand come across my forehead. Oh, it feels so good. I didn’t realize how hot I am.
“Heath,” I mutter. “I’m not feeling too well.” My heart is pounding against my chest.
“Shh, it’s okay, my love. Everything is going to be okay.”
“We have to get this baby out of her,” Helen cries. I can feel hands between my legs, but I can’t pry my eyes open. I’m just so tired.
“Catrina, you have to push, dear,” I hear Helen say, but I’m too exhausted.
“Heath, I’m…tired.”
“Push,” he growls.
I try so hard until I black out. When I’m shaken back awake, I can hear Helen sobbing about all the blood. But they can see the head. They can see the baby’s head.
“Come on,” Heath urges. “Almost there.”
I notice Elliot standing in the corner watching. Fear shining in his features. This is nothing new, though. He’s always worried about something. But then I look over at Heath and see the concern around his eyes. The frown marring his beautiful lips. Heath is never scared. He fears nothing, no one. But right now, I can see it. He’s frightened and that has me scared.
I put every ounce of energy I have left into pushing. This time, I don’t black out, but I feel as though my soul is leaking from my body. I don’t know how to pull it back in. At least it’s in his hands. He’s always taken care of every part of me.
“No! Catrina, stay the fuck awake!” This time it’s Heath speaking or maybe he’s yelling. He sounds so far away. “You need to meet your baby girl, goddammit!”
My baby. A sweet baby girl. I have a little girl…
“Open your eyes and stay with me. Please, love,” Heath begs, but I can’t. My eyes won’t open. My chest is heavy, but the pain is finally gone. “I love you.”
And it’s the last words I hear before the blackness takes over my body and I succumb to the darkness.
I love you too.
Heath
“DON’T JUST FUCKING STAND THERE!” I roar at both Elliot and Helen, who wear matching stares of horror. “Do something about this baby!”
The child—a girl covered in blood—squawks in my arms, but I’m not concerned about her. She’s chubby and flailing. Safe and alive. It’s my motherfucking soul that’s in jeopardy here. My Catrina is pale and unmoving.
She’s not dying.
Not on my fucking watch.
Helen and Elliot both seem to snap to attention. They take the baby and tend to her while I shove towels between Catrina’s thighs in hope to staunch the bleeding. Elliot manages to cut the cord with his pocket knife and then they move away. Everything blots out except for her and me.
“Sweet love, listen to me,” I beg. “Stay with me. Do you hear her crying? You did that. That’s your little girl. You have to stay awake to hold her.”
Warm heat floods around my hand and it’s then I realize blood has completely soaked through the towel.
No.
Fucking no.
She’s dying.
My love, my life, my goddamned soulmate is draining away second by punishing second.
“No,” I croak. “Please no.”
Hot rivers of devastation run down my cheeks and splash on her pale face as I kiss, kiss, kiss her all over. Not enough kisses. All the kisses in the world still won’t be enough.
Nooooooo!
My bloody palms cradle her cool cheeks, streaking the pasty white flesh crimson.
“I love you!” I wail, almost as though I am cursing her. “I love you and you can’t leave me!”
I swear her lips move.
I love you too.
I blink, blink, blink away the blur and rain more kisses on her. So many to give and not enough time. I want her to have them all. So long we were denied the time for kisses and sweet caresses. I’ll give them to her now.
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
I try desperately to give her what she deserves in her last moment. I want her to know my love for her won’t be snuffed out the moment her heart takes its last beat. Our hearts are one. Mine will continue beating for her. Always for her. Never-ending for her.
Goddammit!
I clunk my forehead to hers and nuzzle my nose against her cold one. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Those lips are so chilled. I have to fucking warm them up. Someone cries. Ugly and heart-wrenching and gutting.
It’s me.
It’s me.
It’s me.
All alone without her.
Please don’t go.
I plead with my heart, hoping somewhere, somehow, she still feels me. That since we share the sweet beats she will feel my desperation and cling to it.
The sobbing gets worse and everything is dark around me as I bury my face in her hair. The scent is one I remember from when we were children. My safety net, this woman. My solace. My motherfucking peace.
She’s taking it all away from me.
Stealing it so she can have something to hold onto in the afterlife. A memory of us.
I’m left all alone.
Fucking alone.
I want the memories back. I want her heart beating. I want us, goddammit!
Shaking her, I try frantically to get her to wake back up. But can you wake the dead? I’ll sure as fuck try. I shake, shake, shake my heart, praying to force it to beat.
This is war.
I
’ll fight for this tooth and nail.
Fight against her eager escape into death.
We are life. We are now. We are here.
Not separate. Never separate. We cannot exist apart.
She knows this and yet she leaves me anyway.
She fucking leaves me!
Voices and crying and a baby sighing.
Fuck them all.
Fuck their motherfucking beating hearts.
I just want hers.
I’d give up my own for her.
God, take the stuttering part of my heart because you already stole the other half!
Her body is limp and grows stiff. Lights flicker. Time doesn’t exist. Hours go by. Hours and hours. I don’t fucking care. I hold her. I cry for her. I smell her sweet, sweet hair.
I have her pinned on the sofa, stroking the soft locks of her silky hair that is sticky with drying blood. I kiss, kiss, kiss her neck and whisper how I love her. I promise her I will never leave her.
I’ll hold her forever.
You cannot let go of part of your soul!
It’s fucking impossible!
Those sobs. Loud. Horrible. Mine.
The other three beating hearts in this home have left me to my unbearable grief.
It’s just the one that doesn’t thump and the one that is nothing without the other.
Dead.
I may as well be dead too.
I am dead.
She fucking killed me the moment she sucked in her last breath.
Oh, God.
“Catrina, my love,” I whisper. “Why did you leave? How will I ever find you again?”
My body shudders as a chill sets in. In my bones. In my soul. So cold.
Clackclackclackclackclack.
My teeth chatter together and the never-ending tears on my cheeks are icy rivulets.
Clackclackclackclackclack.
I could sleep. Just close my eyes and let death steal me too. It’s so cold in here. My love is frozen stiff now. Or is that death that has turned her into a beautiful statue? If only—if only I could keep her this way. Rather than burying her in the cold earth, I’d love to keep her like this. In my arms. Prone to my continuous kisses.
