The way she smiled back at me was heart stopping.
The place was crowded enough that we couldn’t even get our regular table, so we crowded around a booth that Alex had taken over from a bunch of college girls. He sat in the middle of them with a Burger King crown on his head. I grabbed a few chairs from one of the back rooms and we were all having a great time, until Tucker showed up.
He sauntered in with his Gucci suit, tie undone, and his hair slicked back. He brought an entourage of people from work, escorting them all right to Grace. All men of course, I was surprised he didn’t bring his piece of shit drug addict cousin Blake. I knew Blake was back in town because he kept hitting me up on my phone trying to get me to party with him again. But I wasn’t ever going back to drugs, hell no. I just ignored his calls.
Tucker’s friends openly ogled Grace, and it fucking killed me. “Your girl has a great ass, Tucker,” one of the guys who was about to get a fist to the head said. I held my tongue though; I was waiting to see what Grace’s reaction was. I was waiting to see if she wanted me to say something or see if she was getting uncomfortable. Fuck, I had no idea what the hell I was doing. My damn leg was tapping up against the leg of the chair and it shook the whole freaking table. I clenched my fists and I knew I was about to blow. I knew I had no rights to her, but I also knew there was something going on between us. I just didn’t know what yet. I really needed to follow her lead because I didn’t want to mess anything up.
Then Tucker touched her.
He put his greasy fucking hands on the bare skin of her back and slid them down towards her ass. MY ASS! Hell, I know it’s not really my ass, but it’s…no it’s MY ASS!
I flew out of my seat and launched myself between them. Man insane. I shoved Tucker away, not hard, because I didn’t want to kill the jerk. I grabbed Grace by the waist and pulled her towards the stage, “Okay. Almost time to go onstage, so let’s have a band meeting before we do this!”
I knew that Ethan and Brayden were looking at me as if I was messed up. God, no wonder why everyone thought that I started using drugs again. I was acting like a lunatic. I didn’t care. Tucker wasn’t allowed to touch her like that.
Ethan and Brayden both raised their eyebrows. Ethan chuckled and shook his head. Brayden froze in surprise. “Huh, why?”
“Just shut up and let’s go!” I snapped. Holy shit, I’m bat-shit crazy.
“You guys go ahead; I’ll be there in a few minutes. I think I need to talk to Tucker alone,” Grace said. Holy crap, her words felt like they were a KNIFE STABBING ME IN THE GOD DAMN HEART! “Go ahead, Shane. I’ll be right there.”
People would call the cops if I dragged her away right now, right?
Tucker stepped forward and shoved his face in mine, “Yeah, Shane. Give us a few. She’ll still be able to play when I’m done with her, I promise. She just might not be able to walk straight,” he laughed exhaling his putrid beer breath all in my personal space. I will kill him. Kill him dead, the drunk douche.
Before I could grab him by the neck, Grace yanked him past me.
“Whoa, she definitely wants me right now!” Tucker disgustingly called to his friends.
Ethan and Brayden were behind me shoving me to the stage. “Shane, walk away. Let her make up her mind herself. You can’t just kill all the competition until you’re the only one left,” Ethan said.
When we got to the stage, I turned on him. “What if he tries to hurt her? What then, Ethan?”
He got close to my face, “And what if she takes him in the bathroom and fucks him, Shane? He’d be doing the same thing you want to do. She’s too good for either of you. She is not a toy that the both of you could fight over just so you could play with her for one night.” He turned around and was about to walk away, then his shoulders relaxed and he turned back around to face me. “Unless you willing to be more to her, Shane, then I got your back, bro.” And he walked off to get a drink.
Damn it! I paced the back of the stage. Holy crap, is she doing something with Tucker in the bathroom?
Ethan came back about fifteen minutes later with four shot glasses of whiskey and placed them on one of the amps, shook his head and walked away.
I started plugging the guitars in and flipping the amps on when Grace climbed up on the stage. My eyes quickly scanned over her, her hair looked a little tousled. I saw red. “I guess Tucker’s pretty fast, huh?” I sneered. I knocked back one of the shots, slammed it down empty, and glared at her.
Her face was utterly indifferent. My stomach dropped.
She walked towards me slowly and shoved me lightly against the wall of the stage, behind the tall speakers, where no one could see. She left her hand on my chest and spread out her fingers. I knew she could feel how hard my heart was thrashing against her fingertips, and I wanted her to know. I begged for it to just explode under her touch, so she would know what the hell she was doing to me.
“Are you angry with me or Tucker, Shane?”
My heart sped up. “Did you fuck him?”
She bit down on her lower lip, smiled and tilted her head. “Yeah, right in the hallway to the bathroom. I just let him have me against the wall.” She wasn’t gone that long, could they have? The douchebag would only last five minutes with a girl like Grace.
My heart stopped, and then it started wildly drumming under her hands. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead and over my lips. She wouldn’t have, would she? I’m going to be sick.
I pushed against her hand; I needed to get the hell away from her. But when I tried to pass, she slammed her arms into mine and pushed her lips to my ears.
“Is that what you think of me? Is that what you need to hear? That I’m like all the other girls? Tell me, Shane,” she whispered, pulling her head back to look into my eyes then down to my lips. Her eyes welled with tears and I knew, I knew she couldn’t have done anything with him.
We stood inches apart, breathing each other in. Her heart pounded just as fast as mine.
I lifted my hand and traced the edge of her jaw down to her neck with my fingers. When she shivered, I grasped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her closer to me so all she could see was me. Her lips parted and her breath hitched.
“No. I want you to tell me why you have a pair of broken angel wings on your shoulder. I want you to tell me why you cut your wrists and I want to know why and how you play and sing the way you do, but most of all, I want you to tell me what I need to do to be a good enough man for you.”
She stepped back immediately, her eyes wide. Grabbing one of the remaining shots, she gulped it down. “Shane…I don’t want to be just another one of your girls. I have other...things, too many things in my life. I really just need a friend right now.”
“Then, that’s where I’ll start,” I whispered.
“Hey!” Ethan’s voice called from in front of us. “You guys about ready?” he asked, coming over to stand next to us. Brayden followed. They took the last two shots and drank them. “Next time, we do them together,” Ethan said, holding up the glass. “That will be how we start each show with Grace.”
Grace laughed. “Sounds good to me. Shall we amaze them?” she said, looking out into the crowd and shyly back to me.
I smiled down at her. “Grace, trust me, they were amazed just by you walking in.”
The crowd roared when we were all visible. Grace ducked her head and laughed as a hot pink lacy bra sailed onto the stage. She plucked it off the floor, flung it at me and winked, “I believe this is for you?” she teased into her microphone. Howls erupted when I tucked the bra into my front pocket, letting it hang down my leg.
I covered my hand over my mic and winked back at her, “Grace, they don’t turn me on like yours do.”
She hip bumped me and laughed.
“Hey, everybody!” I screamed into the crowd. “I’d like to introduce you to the gorgeous Grace Taylor on guitar!”
The place erupted. Yeah, because that’s the effect she has on people.
I fixed my gaze on those stunning silver eyes of her and nodded her cue. My heart fucking exploded when her hands flew like lightning over her guitar. I swayed back on my heels watching the powerhouse that she turned into on the stage right next to me. The music came alive and the audience detonated into roars and screams for her. A smile split across her face and she winked a sparkling silver eye at me. I almost dropped my guitar.
Grace rocked through the rhythm and stepped forward towards the audience and the edge of the stage, looking out over the crowd. People screamed louder. Strangely enough, I could hear Lea screaming, “That’s my best friend, bitches,” over everyone. I almost missed my intro watching her play. I was in complete awe.
Grace caught my eye and laughed as I joined in playing by her side and our harmony twisting together left us both gasping for air. She glided over the stage, eyes locked on mine and I could swear she played her guitar just for me. We played as one, staring at each other, neither one of us looking away. The crowd was somewhere in the distance, but we were in a place all our own. The intense feeling of something so ancient, so old, so beautiful overwhelmed my senses. If I could end my existence right now, I would die the happiest soul to have ever walked the earth, because I knew this. Because I had felt this. Because I had known Grace.
We played the entire set of Mad World songs side by side. When the set was over, we all looked at each other and acknowledged without words that none of us wanted to end playing for the night. I glanced over to Ethan and Brayden and nodded towards Grace. I knew that whatever I decided to play, my bassist and drummer would immediately be able to improvise and play. Yeah, we were that talented.
I touched the small of Grace’s back and her soft silky hair brushed over my fingertips. “Let’s introduce them to Janis,” I whispered to her through my microphone.
Tears glistened in her eyes and she slid up next to me, touching her back to mine. Leaning her head against the back of my shoulder, her long hair washing over the front of my arms and chest, she begin the intro riff to Janis Joplin’s Piece of My Heart and sang to me with all her soul to come on and take another little piece of her heart. And I wanted to. I wanted her whole heart, and I promised myself right then and there that I would never stop until I had her whole heart, because she already had mine.
The set ended in a riot of noise and applause. I jumped off the stage, turned and reached both hands out for Grace to jump down. Without a second of hesitation, she dove into my arms. I caught her easily, cradling her in my arms and I kissed her on the cheek. “That was...intense. I think I need a drink,” she breathed.
“Yeah, well, I need another ice cold shower. Tequila?” I asked, sliding her down my body so she could stand.
She gave me a little friendly jab in the arm, “I’m sure in a few minutes any one of these girls will cure you of your need for a cold shower.” Pushing me away already? Tough, you’re the only girl that will cure me.
At that point, everyone surrounded us, and I walked away.
Grace was grabbed by Lea, so I separated myself from everyone. I walked down to the end of the bar and nodded to the bartender.
Ryan leaned over the bar and shook my hand. “Shane, you guys sounded awesome. Grace is amazing. What can I do you for tonight?”
“Just put a bottle of our best tequila in front of me and one glass, for now.”
I slung back my first shot, leaned my elbows against the bar and watched Grace. She worked the crowd easily and detached herself from them even more easily. When she locked eyes with me, it was like no one else was in the room.
Out of nowhere, a dark haired girl slithered up in front of me and brushed a piece of hair from my forehead. I leaned back away from her hands and asked her simply, “If a complete stranger walked up to you and did what you just did to me, wouldn’t you feel the need to call the authorities?”
“Are you not in the mood for some fun?”
“Nope, not with you,” I shook my head.
“Whatever,” she said and stormed off.
I kept watching Grace.
A blonde girl walked in front of me next. “Hey, you need some company over here? You were really great on stage…”
“No thanks, I’m waiting for someone,” I smiled, cutting her off.
Grace smiled at me when the blonde walked away. Lea and Conner stood next to her, all three obviously talking about me. When they started walking towards me, I reached over the bar and pulled up three more shot glasses, the saltshaker and a handful of limes on a napkin.
We each did a shot in silence. Then Lea winked at me and grabbed Conner to the side, leaving Grace and me alone. Lea silently mouthed to me that her and Conner were going home and to have fun. I have to remember to buy that girl chocolate. Chocolate, flowers, shit, I’ll buy her diamonds if she would help me break down Grace’s walls.
I poured two more shots and gently took hold of her hand. Taking a deep breath, I stuck my pinky into her shot glass, slid my wet finger over the back of her hand, and then salted it. She watched every move I made, biting down on her lip. Slowly, her eyes rose to meet mine and she licked the back of her hand and tilted back her drink.
“I bet you make that taste like heaven,” I said having trouble swallowing.
Smiling, she placed her glass back on the bar and looked down at it. Then she tilted her head up at me. “Shane, I watched you before. You didn’t have to say no to those girls because you think you have to stay with me tonight. You don’t have to stay over to babysit me instead of doing your usual thing.”
I could seriously just kiss her mouth shut right now. “That’s what you think?” I turned around to face her, shifting my body closer to her.
A flash of crimson flushed through her cheeks. “It’s what Conner said when he saw you standing here letting those girls walk away from you.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Is that what you think?”
“I didn’t think about it at all. I just don’t want you to do something you don’t really need or want to do.”
I leaned in closer, brushing my cheek against hers, to whisper in her ear, “Funny thing is, Grace, needing and wanting is exactly what I am doing right now. And, just for the record, it’s not those girls I need or want.”
I gently took her arm and sprinkled a small pinch of salt on the soft skin of her inner wrist. I slowly raised her arm to my mouth and I lightly pressed my tongue against her skin, skimming it across the surface. She tasted as sweet as fucking honey. Her breath caught and her body shivered. I downed my tequila and squeezed the lime into my mouth, “God, Grace. You do taste like heaven,” I whispered breathlessly.
The splash of crimson that had fallen across her cheeks before, deepened and traveled down, spreading itself across her chest. “I think I should go home now. I’m...really...tired.” She whirled around and practically ran towards the bathroom.
“Then I’m going too,” I yelled after her, but I lost her in the crowd.
I ran all over the damn bar trying to find her for a good fifteen minutes. Her guitar was still on stage where she left it and I didn’t think she would have left without it. I grabbed my phone and texted Lea.
Shane: Is she home already????
Lea: Yep, she just ran in
Shane: On my way
I grabbed both our guitars and ran to Grace’s without saying goodnight to anyone. Ethan saw me on my way out the door and nodded to me, but that was it.
When I got to the apartment, I banged on their front door. Conner let me in with a scowl on his face, “Shane, what the hell? Are you trying to knock the damn door down?”
“Where is she?”
Lea smiled at me. “Bedroom.”
I started to make my way down the hallway, but then I ran back to Lea and grabbed her by the shoulders, “Lea, tell me right now. Do I have any chance whatsoever with her?”
Lea looked into my eyes and I could see a dozen different answers there, but she offered me just one. “Yeah, Shane, I think she’s got some sor
t of feelings for you, but she isn’t going to ever…” Then she stopped and searched my face for something and gave me a tight smile. “If you could make her forget her past, Shane, then yeah, you have one hell of a chance, because I’ve never seen her look at anyone like she looks at you. But she will fight you every step of the way. Now go in there and make her forget her past, you sexy bitch.”
I smacked a kiss on her forehead and left her standing in the hallway. All I needed to hear was that I had a chance. I ran down the hall to Grace’s room. “Grace...” I thumped my forehead up against the door. I knew in my soul that in some way she was touching the other side of the door trying to keep that inch of wood of the door between us.
“Grace. Please let me in. I’m...sorry.”
I heard her move away from the door, sliding her hands along the grain of it. I kicked my foot at the door, turned around leaning on it heavily, and slid my body down to the floor against it. “I’m sleeping on the floor then. Right here.” Thumping my head against the door again. “Oh. Man. This is so comfortable, Grace. Really. Very.” I said sarcastically.
I watched under the door as the light went out in her room and heard the click of her bedside lamp being turned on. I listened to her drawers open and close and to the sounds of her changing.
She wasn’t opening the door. Fine. I was going to make her.
I ran back down the hallway and grabbed her guitar case from where I had left it when I came in. I ran back to her door and fumbled to open her case as fast as I could. The case flew open and I almost lost the grip of the instrument and cursed loudly as the case fell to the floor. Well, at least I didn’t drop the guitar.
From her room, I could hear the rustle of her covers and the creaks of her bed as she slid in. I’d be shit out of luck if she had her ear buds in.
I cleared my throat, kicked at the door again and then played her guitar.
I played a slow melody I knew she had never heard before. Its beginning was low and wistful, transforming into a passionate yearning melody. I hummed along with the tune, whispering the words about how much I wanted to be with her.
Scars and Songs (Mad World) Page 16
