by Wendy Wang
“I don’t think so,” she said. The world spun around her and she pressed her hand against her belly.
“It’s all right. I’ve got you.” He moved his arm across the middle of her back and put his other arm under her knees. Scooping her up, he stood.
She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched his shirt as nausea crashed over her again. “Cai, wait. I’m gonna be sick.”
Cai stopped, holding her still. “Highness. You’re not going to be sick. I need you to focus on my voice and breathe in your nose and out through your mouth. Slowly.” He took a deep breath through his nose and pushed it out through his lips. “Now you.”
Neala mimicked him, breathing in and out.
“Just concentrate on my voice. Breathing in and out.”
Neala nodded and he started to walk again.
“Everyone’s going to be so happy to see you,” he said softly. “You mother and your sister. They’ve both been so worried.”
The nausea began to subside as she continued breathing. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder. “How long was I gone?”
“It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that you’re home. Safe. With the people that love you.”
Eight
Neala nestled deep beneath the covers, breathing in the warmth of her bed. Her eyes kept fluttering open but closed against the bright whiteness around her. She heard voices close by. Talking about her. One of them, her mother from the sound of it, told the other voice to go home, get some rest, she would contact him when she awoke. But the voice, a man, told her he was all right. He wanted to be here when she opened her eyes. Her mother told him not to tell her now. To wait until she had healed. He disagreed with her—disagreed with his Queen and somehow his tone of defiance pulled Neala up from the safety and warmth of the darkness, into the light.
“She has a right to know,” he said.
“She is too fragile right now,” her mother said. “They poisoned her, for heaven’s sake. She needs rest.”
Neala’s eyes opened and she found Cai and her mother standing almost nose to nose, both red-faced, with frowns lining their foreheads.
Pushing herself up on her elbows, Neala said, “How, exactly, am I supposed to rest with you two blustering at each other?”
“You’re awake.” Her mother took a seat in the chair next to her bed.
Neala sighed and the scratchiness in her throat made her cough. Cai poured a cup of water from the pitcher on the bedside table. Neala pushed herself to fully sitting and took the cup. The cool, sweet water soothed the fire in her throat.
“I was so afraid you weren’t going to wake up.” Her mother leaned over her, brushing her hair behind her ear. It reminded Neala of when she was a little girl, sick in her bed, long before her father died—before she’d ever heard of Peter Declan, before this pervasive sadness sat on her chest like a cold, heavy rock.
“Where am I?”
“The infirmary on the wardens’ base,” her mother said. A frown crept into the corners of her mouth as her eyes darted toward Cai. “The chief insisted.”
Neala gave Cai a weak smile. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Two days,” he said.
Neala nodded, trying to stay even, trying to keep her stomach from flip-flopping as she processed. “How long was I gone?”
Her mother’s smile cracked, transforming to a grimace as she pulled her hand away. Neala stared into her mother’s face, which started to crumple in at the corners of her mouth, making her look much older than fifty-five. If her mother wouldn’t answer, she knew he would. Her eyes locked onto Cai’s. “How long, Cai?”
“Five days,” he said, unwavering.
“Five days,” she mouthed. How could she have lost so much time? “Why don’t I remember?”
“You were poisoned. The healers found mandrake compounds in your blood. They think you were given many doses, probably to keep you unconscious.”
“Chief,” her mother said, her tone full of warning.
“Thank you, Cai.” Neala said, frowning at her mother. “For telling me the truth.”
Cai bowed his head. “I will always tell you the truth, Highness.”
“I know you will.” She smiled weakly. A dull ache filled her chest and she blinked, long and slow. “Did you find them?” She couldn’t bring herself to say his name. Not yet.
“Chief, I think you should leave now,” her mother said.
Anger bubbled up from deep inside her belly. “Mother, stop it. You cannot protect me anymore.” Cai’s eyes cut from Neala to the Queen, and back to Neala. She could see him wrestling with his defiance—he wanted to please the Queen but he wanted to tell her the truth.
“Please, Cai? I can handle it,” she said.
Cai nodded. “I know you can.” His jaw clenched as his dark brows drew together. He licked his lips before he spoke again. “No, we didn’t find him or his men.”
“What do you know about them?” Neala pretended her mother wasn’t making faces at her.
“Very little. The intelligence I have is that he’s gathered a group of mercenaries. They’re evidently selling their skills to the highest bidder.”
“Let me guess—Casillad and Nydia?”
“Yes. He’s renounced his allegiance to the Queen.”
“He said he was taking control of his life. He said I served a purpose—but he didn’t say what that purpose was.” Neala put her head in her hands, pinching her fingers into her scalp. Her mother’s hand brushed against her forearm, offering comfort.
“I can say with some certainty that he’s been working with them for a long time. I am doing everything in my power to find out why he targeted you.”
“Will you tell me when you find out?”
Cai’s eyes avoided the Queen as he nodded at Neala. “Of course, if that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
“Neala, sweetheart, I don’t think you need to know any more than you already do about that boy’s black heart. Chief, please stand behind me on this. It’s just too much.” Her mother patted her arm.
“Mother, I love you and I know you just want to protect me.” Neala took her mother’s hand in hers and kissed it. Since her mother didn’t seem to be responding to her anger, she decided to try something else. “But I need to know the truth. It is the only thing that will actually protect me going forward.” The Queen frowned but she did not argue. Instead, she cupped Neala’s face, brushing her thumb across her daughter’s cheek.
“Fine.” Neala could hear the emotion her mother choked down in that one word and she wrapped her arms around her mother’s shoulders and hugged her tight.
“Thank you,” she whispered against her mother’s ear.
“You will always be my baby, though, and I won’t apologize for wanting to protect you,” her mother said.
“I know.” Neala held her mother for a moment more before turning her attention back to Cai. He stood nearby, frozen like a statue, staring at the wall. “Cai, why do you think they didn’t kill me?”
Cai glanced at her and stroked his chin, as if he was debating with himself about exactly what to say. “I think they weren’t done with you. I think eventually they would have killed you. I think that somehow you escaped.”
Neala closed her eyes and put her head in her hands again. She tried to remember – something, anything, about the last five days. “I don’t—I don’t remember.”
“The healers said there is a chance your memories may come back. It will just take time,” her mother said.
“Even though I was unconscious?”
Cai shrugged. “I can ask the healer to speak to you about it.”
“Thank you, I would like that,” she said. “So do you think they’re gone? Back to Nydia?”
“I do not know. But we’re still looking and I’ve increased security here and at the palace. You have nothing to worry about, Highness. I will not let him harm you ever again.”
“I know.” She called u
p a smile to reassure him. “There are things you and I need to discuss. About how they’re moving between realms.”
“We strengthened the boundaries, Highness. After you returned. They couldn’t leave without going through a checkpoint.”
“Yes, they could.”
“How?”
Neala glanced at her mother. “I need clothes. Can you please send for some?”
“Why do you need clothes?” her mother asked, sounding as if Neala had just requested she behead all the kittens in the realm.
Neala sighed. “Because there’s something important I need to show the chief.” Her eyes flashed back to Cai. “No arguments from you, either. We have to stop them before they bring their whole army with them.”
******
Neala moved quietly across the open meadow. She ran her fingers across the tops of wildflowers and grass, fighting the ache in her chest. Plucking the head off of a daisy, she turned to Cai and his men who followed her closely, weapons drawn. She stopped for a moment and raised her face, letting the sunlight wash over her.
“How much farther, Highness?”
“Not much. Just up past those trees.”
Neala stopped and waited for Cai to catch up to her. The sun glinted off of his dark hair and she could see red and gold in the strands. He gave her half a smile and it made her feel better.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“I’ll be fine, Chief.”
“If at any time it becomes overwhelming, just say the word and we’ll go.”
“Thank you, but really, I’m fine.”
Once beneath the canopy, the cacophony of birds and the chatter of squirrels skittered through her senses. She breathed in the sharp, rich scent of leaf litter. With each crunch of her boots, her heart felt lighter. This is where she belonged. Tromping through the woods.
“We aren’t far now.” She picked up her pace and her skin tingled as they drew closer. A smile tugged at her lips once the ruins were in her line of sight. Approaching the clearing where the old castle balanced on top of the ridge, a cold finger touched her heart and Neala stopped in her tracks, trying to figure out what was wrong.
“Highness, wait.” She heard Cai as she took one step forward and glanced up at the canopy. All the birds and other animals had gone silent. The hair pricked up on the back of her neck and a shiver crawled down her back. Her boot caught on something and when she looked down, she saw it—a thin wire stretching just above the forest floor. She froze in place.
“Everybody stop!” she screamed. The force of the explosion inside the ruins blew her on her back. She gasped for air as two more explosions, one to her right and one to her left, rocked the ground beneath them. An ancient oak uprooted nearby, falling forward, and several tall pines caught fire. The air filled with blinding, black smoke. Debris of granite bricks, fire and ash rained down around her as she rolled to her side and pushed herself to her feet. She covered her mouth and nose with part of her cloak and unsheathed her dagger. Where had all the others gone?
The ringing in her ears drowned out the sound of everything, even her voice as she screamed for Cai and the other wardens. Smoke burned her eyes and coated her tongue, and her throat felt raw from breathing as she shouted. Stumbling around, someone grabbed her around her waist and knocked her to the ground. He rolled her onto her back and pinned her elbows beneath his knees as he sat on her chest. His black eyes locked onto hers and a leer smeared across his lips.
“I’ve been waiting days for you to return, Highness. I was beginning to doubt, but he said you would come, said you wouldn’t be able to resist. And he was right.” The man laughed but it turned into a ragged cough. She struggled against him, still gripping the hilt of her dagger. He twisted her wrist until she cried out and her fingers opened against her will. The dagger fell to the ground and he knocked it out of her reach.
“I am going to kill you!” She gritted her teeth, as her spittle wet his soot-smudged cheeks.
“He said you would be like this—piss and vinegar.” He grinned, nodding his head. “I suppose a spark like yours was needed to light the fire for us.”
A flicker through the smoke made her glance beyond his shoulder and he turned his head, following her line of sight. Cai struck him hard across the jaw, knocking him off balance as Gordon and one of the other wardens grabbed him by the collar and dragged him off of her. Neala scrambled backwards, feeling through the carpet of leaves for her dagger. Cai punched him several more times before the others forced the man onto his stomach. He craned his neck and gazed up at her, a grimace on his face as he spoke, “Uzzoor’s army will defeat you, Princess. It will lay you and all like you to waste as it was told in the Book of Uzzoor. We will be delivered from the Queen by her blood. Thank her for her deliverance.” His grimace turned into a grin and she saw him chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“He has something in his mouth!” She fell to her knees and stared him in the eyes. He laughed through bloody teeth, but it soon turned to choking as he began to convulse. Pinkish bubbles foamed over his lips as his eyes rolled back into his head, showing only the whites.
“Move!” Cai shouted as he reached for her, yanking her to her feet, putting as much distance as possible between her and the man. Neala glanced back once—the man shuddered one last time and stilled. Her arms flew out in front of her as he blew apart, sending blood, bone and sinew into the air, along with the ground beneath him.
******
“All right, Highness, I need you to follow the light.” the healer said. She held a blunted metal tool up in front of Neala’s face. The tip shined almost as bright as the sun and it blinded her for a moment.
“I’m fine,” Neala said for the thousandth time, but no one seemed to be listening to her.
“Uh-huh.” the healer tapped the side of the tool and the light went out. “If you’re so fine, then why are you still talking so loudly?” The healer, an older woman with glowing silver hair, raised her left eyebrow. Neala scowled at her. “That’s what I thought.”
“Did Cai contact my mother?” Neala asked, trying to speak more quietly.
“I don’t know. Perhaps you should ask him yourself.” She glanced over Neala’s shoulder and motioned with her hand. Cai rounded the exam table, where she sat. His eyes darted to hers and his lips tugged into a half-smile. He winked at her and turned his attention to the healer.
“So, how is she?”
“She’ll be all right, sir. She had a small hole in one of her eardrums, but I’ve healed it. She’s still not hearing a hundred percent, and she’ll need to be monitored, to ensure she has no permanent loss.”
“Hello.” Neala waved her hands. “I’m right here.”
Cai reached over and put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you, Healer Moran. We appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Healer Moran said. She smiled and nodded her head. “Highness, I would like to see you back in my office next week.”
Cai raised his eyebrows and gave her a look she knew well. A look that said I will tell your mother if you don’t say yes. Neala frowned. “I will be here.”
“Well, if you’ll excuse me, there are a couple of other patients. If you have any questions, please let me know.” The healer left the room and Cai turned to face her.
“So, how are you really?” he asked
Neala squirmed under his intense gaze. Her finger worked over a small tear in the white linen table covering. She pinched the loose threads between her fingers as she said, “The world sounds muffled. She said it’s the best she can do for now.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He placed his hand over hers stilling it from fidgeting. Neala stole a glance at him. She bit the inside of her lip and chewed on it. If she didn’t open her mouth, maybe the tears wouldn’t fall. Blinking hard, she looked at their hands.
“Neala? Are you all right?”
She shook her head and sniffled, whispering as she spoke. “I am—so ashamed.”
His hand tightened over hers. “Oh Neala, you have nothing to be ashamed of. This is not your fault.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but all that came out was a choked barking sound. He pulled a handkerchief from his pants pocket and held it out. Taking the clean square of white linen, she buried her face in it. If she could have gotten the words to form, she would have told him to look away, but for now, the only thing coming from her mouth were sobs. Cai moved to the side of the examination table, pulling her against his chest. He stroked her hair, soothing her, until the fierce grip of her shame loosened and the tears died away.
“I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I didn’t want you to see me this way.”
“I think I’ve seen you much worse,” he said.
“You’re wrong. You know,” she said softly. “It is my fault. I flirted with him. Let him kiss me.”
“You did exactly what he wanted you to do.” Cai’s deft fingers smoothed her hair down her back.
She wiped her face with the handkerchief and blew her nose. “You know, the thing I don’t understand is he spent all this time with me. He could’ve taken me that first day. Why didn’t he?”
Cai blew out his breath. “There would’ve been no fun in that.” He pulled the healer’s seat close to the examination table and sat down in front of her. He took her hands in his and steadied his gaze on her. “I want you to listen to me carefully.” His fingers tightened around hers. “My brother liked the challenge you presented, the ultimate challenge to him. A princess he knew he could never be matched to with a slight rebellious streak? What an exciting prospect that must’ve been to him. If he could win you, make you see his side, make you swallow his agenda. What an accomplishment that would be. And when it failed, he resorted to what he knows best, which is subterfuge.”
Neala shook her head in disagreement. “I should’ve seen through him. I should’ve read him.”
