by Robert Bloch
Cold-blooded murder is one thing, but sickness is another. You aren’t really a murderer when you’re sick in the head. Anybody knows that. Only sometimes the courts didn’t agree. He’d read of cases. Even if they did recognize what was wrong with her, they’d still put her away. Not in a rest home, but in one of those awful holes. A state hospital.
Norman stared at the neat, old-fashioned room with its wallpaper pattern of rambler roses. He couldn’t take Mother away from this and see her locked up in a bare cell. Right now he was safe—the police didn’t even know about Mother. She stayed here, in the house, and nobody knew. It had been all right to tell the girl, because she’d never see him again. But the police couldn’t find out about Mother and what she was like. They’d put her away to rot. No matter what she’d done, she didn’t deserve that.
And she wouldn’t have to get it, because nobody knew what she’d done.
He was pretty certain, now, that he could keep anyone from knowing. All he had to do was think it over, think back to the events of the evening, think carefully.
The girl had driven in alone, said she’d been on the road all day. That meant she wasn’t visiting en route. And she didn’t seem to know where Fairvale was, didn’t mention any other towns nearby, so the chances were she had no intention of seeing anyone around here. Whoever expected her—if anyone was expecting her—must live some distance further north.
Of course this was all supposition, but it seemed logical enough. And he’d have to take a chance on being right.
She had signed the register, of course, but that meant nothing. If anybody ever asked, he’d say that she had spent the night and driven on.
All he had to do was get rid of the body and the car and make sure that everything was cleaned up afterward.
That part would be easy. He knew just how to do it. It wouldn’t be pleasant, but it wouldn’t be difficult, either.
And it would save him from going to the police. It would save Mother.
Oh, he still intended to have things out with her—he wasn’t backing down on that part of it, not this time—but this could wait until afterward.
The big thing now was to dispose of the evidence. The corpus delicti.
Mother’s dress and scarf would have to be burned, and so would the clothing he was wearing. No, on second thought, he might as well get rid of it all when he got rid of the body.
Norman wadded the garments into a ball and carried them downstairs. He grabbed an old shirt and pair of coveralls from the hook in the back hallway, then shed his clothing in the kitchen and donned the others. No sense stopping to wash up now—that could wait until the rest of the messy business was completed.
But Mother had remembered to wash when she came back. He could see more of the pink stains here at the kitchen sink; a few telltale traces of rouge and powder, too.
He made a mental note to clean everything thoroughly when he got back, then sat down and transferred everything from the pockets of his discarded clothing to those in his coveralls. It was a pity to throw away good clothes like this, but that couldn’t be helped. Not if Mother was to be helped.
Norman went down into the basement and opened the door of the old fruit cellar. He found what he was looking for—a discarded clothes hamper with a sprung cover. It was large enough and it would do nicely.
Nicely—God, how can you think like that about what you’re proposing to do?
He winced at the realization, then took a deep breath. This was no time to be self-conscious or self-critical. One had to be practical. Very practical, very careful, very calm.
Calmly, he tossed his clothes into the hamper. Calmly, he took an old oilcloth from the table near the cellar stairs. Calmly, he went back upstairs, snapped off the kitchen light, snapped off the hall light, and let himself out of the house in darkness, carrying the hamper with the oilcloth on top.
It was harder to be calm here in the dark. Harder not to think about a hundred and one things that might go wrong.
Mother had wandered off—where? Was she out on the highway, ready to be picked up by anyone who might come driving by? Was she still suffering a hysterical reaction, would the shock of what she had done cause her to blurt out the truth to whoever came along and found her? Had she actually run away, or was she merely in a daze? Maybe she’d gone down past the woods back of the house, along the narrow ten-acre strip of their land which stretched off into the swamp. Wouldn’t it be better to search for her first?
Norman sighed and shook his head. He couldn’t afford the risk. Not while that thing still sprawled in the shower stall back at the motel. Leaving it there was even more risky.
He’d had the presence of mind to turn off all the lights, both in the office and in her room, before leaving. But even so, one never knew when some night owl might show up and nose around looking for accommodations. It didn’t happen very often, but every once in a while the signal would buzz; sometimes at one or two o’clock in the morning. And at least once in the course of a night the State Highway Patrol car cruised past her. It almost never stopped, but there was the chance.
He stumbled along in the pitch blackness of moonless midnight. The path was graveled and not muddy, but the rain would have softened the ground behind the house. There’d be tracks. That was something else to think about. He’d leave tracks he couldn’t even see. If only it wasn’t so dark! All at once that was the most important thing—to get out of the dark.
Norman was very grateful when he finally opened the door of the girl’s room and eased the hamper inside, then set it down and switched on the light. The soft glow reassured him for a moment, until he remembered what the light would reveal when he went into the bathroom.
He stood in the center of the bedroom now, and he began to tremble.
No, I can’t do it. I can’t look at her. I won’t go in there. I won’t!
But you have to. There’s no other way. And stop talking to yourself!
That was the most important thing. He had to stop talking to himself. He had to get back that calm feeling again. He had to face reality.
And what was reality?
A dead girl. The girl his mother had killed. Not a pretty sight nor a pretty notion, but there it was.
Walking away wouldn’t bring the girl back to life again. Turning Mother in to the police wouldn’t help alter the situation either. The best thing to do under the circumstances, the only thing to do, was to get rid of her. He needn’t feel guilty about it.
But he couldn’t hold back his nausea, his dizziness, and his dry, convulsive retching when it came to actually going into the shower stall and doing what must be done there. He found the butcher knife almost at once; it was under the torso. He dropped that into the hamper immediately. There was an old pair of gloves in his coverall pockets; he had to put them on before he could bring himself to touch the rest. The head was the worst. Nothing else was severed, only slashed, and he had to fold the limbs before he could wrap the body in the oilcloth and crowd it down into the hamper on top of the clothing. Then it was done, and he slammed the lid shut.
That still left the bathroom and the shower stall itself to be cleaned up, but he’d deal with that part of the job when he came back.
Now he had to lug the hamper out into the bedroom, then put it down while he found the girl’s purse and ransacked it for her car keys. He opened the door slowly, scanning the road for passing headlights. Nothing was coming—nothing had come this way for hours. He could only hope and pray that nothing would come, now.
He was sweating long before he managed to open the trunk of the car and place the hamper inside; sweating, not with exertion, but with fear. But he made it, and then he was back in the room again, picking up the clothing and shoving it into the overnight bag and the big suitcase on the bed. He found the shoes, the stockings, the bra, the panties. Touching the bra and panties was the worst. If there’d been anything left in his stomach it would have come up then. But there was nothing in his stomach but the dryness
of fear, just as the wetness of fear soaked his outer skin.
Now what? Kleenex, hairpins, all the little things a woman leaves scattered around the room. Yes, and her purse. It had some money in it, but he didn’t even bother to look. He didn’t want the money. He just wanted to get rid of it fast, while luck still held.
He put the two bags in the car, on the front seat. Then he closed and locked the door of the room. Again he scanned the roadway in both directions. All clear.
Norman started the motor and switched on the lights. That was the dangerous part, using the lights. But he’d never be able to make it otherwise, not through the field. He drove slowly, up the slope behind the motel and along the gravel leading to the driveway and the house. Another stretch of gravel went to the rear of the house and terminated at the old shed which had been converted to serve as a garage for Norman’s Chevy.
He shifted gears and eased off onto the grass. He was in the field now, bumping along. There was a rutted path here, worn by tire tracks, and he found it. Every few months Norman took his own car along this route, hitching up the trailer and going into the woods bordering the swamp to collect firewood for the kitchen.
That’s what he’d do tomorrow, he decided. First thing in the morning, he’d take the car and trailer out there. Then his own tire marks would cover up these. And if he left footprints in the mud, there’d be an explanation.
If he needed an explanation, that is. But maybe his luck would hold.
It held long enough for him to reach the edge of the swamp and do what he had to do. Once back there he switched off the headlights and taillights and worked in the dark. It wasn’t easy, and it took a long time, but he managed. Starting the motor and shifting into reverse, he jumped out and let it back down the slope into the muddy quagmire. The slope would show tire tracks too, he must remember to smooth away the traces. But that wasn’t the important thing now. Just as long as the car sank. He could see the muck bubbling and rising up over the wheels. God, it had to keep sinking now; if it didn’t, he could never pull it out again. It had to sink! The fenders were going under, slowly, very slowly. How long had he been standing here? It seemed like hours, and still the car was visible. But the ooze had reached the door handles; it was coming up over the side-glass and the windshield. There wasn’t a sound to be heard; the car kept descending, inch by silent inch. Now only the top was visible. Suddenly there was a sort of sucking noise, a nasty and abrupt plop! And the car was gone. It had settled beneath the surface of the swamp.
Norman didn’t know how deep the swamp was at this point. He could only hope the car would keep on going down. Down, deep down, where nobody could ever find it.
He turned away with a grimace. Well, that part of it was finished. The car was in the swamp. And the hamper was in the trunk. And the body was in the hamper. The twisted torso and the bloody head—
But he couldn’t think about that. He mustn’t. There were other things to do.
He did them, did them almost mechanically. There was soap and detergent in the office, a brush and a pail. He went over the bathroom inch by inch, then the shower stall. As long as he concentrated on scrubbing, it wasn’t so bad, even though the smell sickened him.
Then he inspected the bedroom once more. Luck was still with him; just under the bed he found an earring. He hadn’t noticed that she was wearing earrings earlier in the evening, but she must have been. Maybe it had slipped off when she shook out her hair. If not, the other one would be around here somewhere. Norman was bleary-eyed and weary, but he searched. It wasn’t anywhere in the room, so it must either be in her baggage or still attached to her ear. In either case, it wouldn’t matter. Just as long as he got rid of this one. Throw it in the swamp tomorrow.
Now there was only the house to attend to. He’d scrub out the kitchen sink.
It was almost two o’clock by the grandfather clock in the hall when he came in. He could scarcely keep his eyes open long enough to wash the stains from the sink top. Then he stepped out of his muddy shoes, peeled off the coveralls, stripped himself of shirt and socks, and washed. The water was cold as ice but it didn’t revive him. His body was numb.
Tomorrow morning he’d go back down into the swamp with his own car; he’d wear the same clothing again and it wouldn’t matter if it showed mud and dirt. Just as long as there was no blood anywhere. No blood on his clothes, no blood on his body, no blood on his hands.
There. Now he was clean. He could move his numb legs, propel his numb body up the stairs and into the bedroom, sink into bed and sleep. With clean hands.
It wasn’t until he was actually in the bedroom, donning his pajamas, that he remembered what was still wrong.
Mother hadn’t come back.
She was still wandering around, God knows where, in the middle of the night. He had to get dressed again and go out, he had to find her.
Or—did he?
The thought came creeping, just as the numbness came creeping, stealing over his senses, softly, smoothly, there in the silken silence.
Why should he concern himself about Mother, after what she had done? Maybe she had been picked up, or would be. Maybe she’d even babble out the story of what she’d done. But who’d believe it? There was no evidence, not any more. All he’d need to do was deny everything. Maybe he wouldn’t even have to do that much—anyone who saw Mother, listened to her wild story, would know she was crazy. And then they’d lock her up, lock her up in a place where she didn’t have a key and couldn’t get out again, and that would be the end.
He hadn’t felt like that earlier this evening, he remembered. But that was before he had to go into that bathroom again, before he had to go into the shower stall and see those—things.
Mother had done that to him. Mother had done that to the poor, helpless girl. She had taken a butcher knife and she had hacked and ripped—nobody but a maniac could have committed such an atrocity. He had to face facts. She was a maniac. She deserved to be put away, had to be put away, for her own safety as well as the safety of others.
If they did pick her up, he’d see that it happened.
But the chances were, actually, that she wouldn’t go anywhere near the highway. Most likely she had stayed right around the house, or the yard. Maybe she had even followed him down into the swamp; she could have been watching him all the time. Of course, if she were really out of her head, then anything might happen. If she had gone to the swamp, perhaps she’d slipped. It was quite possible, there in the dark. He remembered the way the car had gone down, disappearing in the quicksand.
Norman knew he wasn’t thinking clearly any more. He was faintly aware of the fact that he was lying on the bed, had been lying on the bed for a long time now. And he wasn’t really deciding what to do, either, or wondering about Mother and where she was. Instead, he was watching her. He could see her now, even though at the same time he felt the numb pressure on his eyeballs and knew that his eyelids were closed.
He could see Mother, and she was in the swamp. That’s where she was, in the swamp, she’d blundered down the bank in the darkness and she couldn’t get out again. The muck was bubbling up around her knees, she was trying to grab a branch or something solid and pull herself out again, but it was no use. Her hips were sinking under, her dress was pressed tight in a V across the front of her things. Mother’s thighs were dirty. Mustn’t look.
But he wanted to look, he wanted to see her go down, down into the soft, wet, slimy, darkness. She deserved it, she deserved to go down, to join that poor, innocent girl. Good riddance! In a little while now he’d be free of them both—victim and victor, Mother and the bitch, bitch-Mother down there in the dirty slime, let it happen, let her drown in the filthy, nasty scum—
Now it was up to her breasts, he didn’t like to think about such things, he never thought about Mother’s breasts, he mustn’t, and it was good that they were disappearing, sinking away forever, so he’d never think about such things again. But he could see her gasping for breath, and it made hi
m gasp too; he felt as if he were choking with her and then (it was a dream, it had to be a dream!) Mother was suddenly standing on the firm ground at the edge of the swamp and he was sinking. He was in filth up to his neck and there was nobody to save him, nobody to help him, nothing to hang onto unless Mother held out her arms. She could save him, she was the only one! He didn’t want to drown, he didn’t want to strangle and suffocate in the slime, he didn’t want to go down there the way the girl-bitch had gone down. And now he remembered why she was there; it was because she had been killed, and she had been killed because she was evil. She had flaunted herself before him, she had deliberately tempted him with the perversion of her nakedness. Why, he’d wanted to kill her himself when she did that, because Mother had taught him about evil and the ways of evil and thou shalt not suffer a bitch to live.
So what Mother had done was to protect him, and he couldn’t see her die, she wasn’t wrong. He needed her now, and she needed him, and even if she were crazy she wouldn’t let him go under now. She couldn’t.
The foulness was sucking against his throat, it was kissing his lips and if he opened his mouth he knew he’d swallow it, but he had to open it to scream, and he was screaming. “Mother, Mother—save me!”
And then he was out of the swamp, back here in bed where he belonged, and his body was wet only with perspiration. He knew now that it had been a dream, even before he heard her voice at the bedside.
“It’s all right son. I’m here. Everything’s all right.” He could feel her hand on his forehead, and it was cool, like the drying sweat. He wanted to open his eyes, but she said, “Don’t you worry, son. Just go back to sleep.”
“But I have to tell you—”
“I know. I was watching. You didn’t think I’d go away and leave you, did you? You did right, Norman. And everything’s all right now.”
Yes. That was the way it should be. She was there to protect him. He was there to protect her. Just before he drifted off to sleep again, Norman made up his mind. They wouldn’t talk about what had happened tonight—not now, or ever. And he wouldn’t think about sending her away. No matter what she did, she belonged here, with him. Maybe she was crazy, and a murderess, but she was all he had. All he wanted. All he needed. Just knowing she was here, beside him, as he went to sleep.
