by Max Walker
“I don’t want to ever leave it,” Caleb replied. With their hands clasped, their bodies pressed closer together as another kiss took them over.
“Is that why you freaked this morning when I went toward your sock drawer?” Caleb asked mischievously as their kiss ended.
“Maybe.”
“And here I was, thinking you were hiding a big ol’ dildo.”
“I keep those in the underwear drawer.”
Caleb nodded. “Ah, now I know where to look, then. Thank you.”
“Anytime.” Red smiled, laughing as he pulled Caleb into another kiss. He couldn’t stop. It was an addiction.
“Wait, wait,” Caleb said, as the last rays of the sun were peeking over the far off horizon, cutting through the edges of the mountain range like solid pillars of light. “I have to get a picture of us.”
Caleb held his phone out and pulled Red in. He turned and pressed his lips against Red’s cheek, wide smiles on both their faces as the camera clicked and captured the picture-perfect moment. The two men could agree, they both had never looked happier. There was enough light from the lamps to see Red’s eyes practically glowing with joy. A field of roses behind them, a sea of dark blues and purples and reds. Caleb’s eyes crinkled shut with the smiling kiss.
“I love you,” Caleb said, looking away from the photo and deep into Red’s eyes.
“I love you, too.” They kissed, sealing their fates together. A kiss that guaranteed him eternal bliss.
With the moment captured forever and the day leaving them, they decided to start walking back to the car.
They left the gardens feeling happier than ever before, both of them floating through the clouds on their high. Neither of them expected the fissure in the road ahead. They slept great that night, their bodies relaxed from an hour long session of hot sex, their first as fiancés. Something about it left the both of them feeling like jellyfish when they were done.
It wasn’t until the next day, during the afternoon while Red was on set, that he got a phone call that changed everything.
Twenty-Nine
Caleb Forester
Life was shit. Pure shit. Nothing good, nothing great. Everything shit. He expected to look out his window and see a field of rotting animal carcasses. Caleb reread the message, over and over, trying to make sense of the words Red had sent him. Words. That’s all they were. So why did he feel like he had been picked up and dropped into a pit of lava? The pain was raw. Numbing. How could this be real? He checked the date, clinging to hope beyond hope that this was some seriously fucked up April Fool’s joke.
July tenth, far from April Fools.
He read the message again.
“Caleb. I am sorry. It is over between us.”
That’s it. Short and sweet. As though this was some high school fling they were breaking in half. Not something that was serious enough to lock down with an engagement ring. A ring that felt like it was growing tighter and tighter around Caleb’s finger.
Ring. Ring. Ring. “You’ve reached Red—”
Ring. Ring. Ring. “You’ve reach—”
Ring. Ring. Ring. “Yo—”
“Fuck,” Caleb cursed. He paced the break room, grateful that he was alone. He wasn’t sure how he would have been able to stop the tears from falling when he had initially read the text message. It felt like such a stab to the gut. A physical pain that tore through him. Made him weak, had his head feel light. He needed to sit but didn’t want to. He couldn’t stay in one place for long, he had to pace. He wrung his hands, sliding his phone into his pocket before taking it out again to make sure no one called. His throat was dry. He tried drinking water but couldn’t. He checked his phone again. His scrubs were starting to feel itchy.
“What the fuck?” he said to himself, wiping away a tear. He hadn’t even realized he started crying again.
I have to pull it together. My shift starts soon.
Maybe someone hacked his phone? Maybe this was a test?
After a few minutes of initial shock, logical thought started making its way through and taking hold. The message couldn’t be from Red.
It couldn’t be real. Caleb knew Red would never do that to him.
Ring. Ring. Ring. “You—”
He looked at his ring finger, the diamonds catching the white hospital lighting, flashing back a bolt of brilliance. Such a contrast to the dark despair he felt consuming him from inside out. If this was true, there was no reset button. No coming back. Caleb would be irreparably damaged. His trust would be shattered and crushed to dust.
If this was true.
Jackson.
The recognition hit him harder than the text. Jackson had warned him to be careful, to not date Red. Did he have something to do with this? He had to. Red wouldn’t just end things like this, right out of the blue.
And that text message. It was too well written to be from Red…
So how am I going to fix this? I don’t even know what’s going on.
He pulled a plastic chair out from the table and collapsed onto it, feeling his knees give out at the last second. He crossed his arms on the table and let his head drop into the dark cave it created.
He felt a deep sadness in that moment. He felt like there was no fixing this.
Someone pressed their badge against the lock on the other side of the door. The beep followed and the door opened. Caleb looked up. He grabbed the front of his scrubs and tried to wipe his face dry.
“Hey, Dean.”
Thank god it was Dean.
“Woh, Caleb, what happened?” Dean closed the door and went to sit next to Caleb. He reached out and squeezed Caleb’s shoulder. “You ok?”
“Not really, no.” Caleb didn’t even know where to begin. He slid his phone to Dean, who picked it up and read the message.
“Wait...seriously? What? What is he thinking?” Dean handed the phone back, sounding as shocked as Caleb felt.
“I don’t know. Everything was fine this morning.” Caleb’s voice cracked. He hated this. Every single aspect of this. He hated crying. He hated feeling weak. He hated not knowing what was going on. “Something feels weird about it.”
Most of all, he hated not having Red there to comfort him. He wanted to bury his face in Red’s chest and forget about all of this. Everything needed to go back to how it was only twenty-four hours ago.
Fuck, I can’t believe how far yesterday feels.
“And he hasn’t called you?”
Caleb shook his head, his cheeks cold from the air vents above. “Nothing. I’ve tried calling him but they get denied.”
“Fuck…”
Add one more reason to why Dean would curse. Getting towed and getting blindsided.
“There’s got to be a reason,” Dean continued. “You’re right, this does sound weird. Maybe he’s researching a role for a film? Like how that one guy lived like Abraham Lincoln for a year.”
Dean was trying to get Caleb to smile, and Caleb loved him for it, but there was no smile to be found. He felt utterly defeated. He couldn’t even get through to Red on the phone.
“I don’t know… I mean, I think there’s something going on, but I’m not a hundred percent sure, and without him answering my calls, all I have to go off is this text.” Caleb shook his head, tears falling onto the table. “And this text fucking sucks.”
Caleb got up from his seat. He looked down and saw dark spots where his tears had marked the front of his scrubs. He walked over to the sink and grabbed a piece of paper towel, using it to dry off the marks.
“I’ve got to go back on the floor,” Caleb said, his words sounding a little unsteady. He was sure his eyes were puffy and glossy, but he would be ok. At least while he was working. He would focus in on the patients and nothing else.
“Thank you, Dean, for trying to make me feel better.”
Nothing was going to make him feel better. Not until he got to talk to Red. He felt broken as he left the break room, absentmindedly circling the engagement ring aroun
d his finger. Something was going on, something bad. Caleb was scared, but he had to put on a strong face for his patients. When his shift was over, he would find Red, wherever the hell he was, and get to the bottom of it all.
Thirty
Red Miller
All Red could see was the color red. He was furious. Enraged. Anger bubbling up in him to levels he had never felt before. The person who he most loved in this world was being threatened, and now Red was forced to hurt him in order to save him. It was fucked up, and all Red wanted to do was fuck someone else up.
That someone?
Peter.
He threw open the door to the agency. Peter’s assistant lurched in her chair, keeping quiet as she saw the expression on Red’s face. She picked up the phone, no doubt to give Peter some warning, but there was no time. By the first ring, Red had already thrown open the door to Peter’s office.
“Oh, Red, what are—”
“What the fuck?” Red was so angry, he didn’t give a shit that Peter had a client in the room already. The timid-looking brunette got up from the chair, clearly sensing that something was about to go down, and let herself out of the room, closing the door behind her.
“Red, let me expl—”
“Yeah, explain why the fuck Jackson Ford just called me telling me that he had shit on Caleb? And that if I didn’t break up with him and then also come sign with you, Caleb would lose his fucking license?!” Red slammed a fist onto the heavy oak table. The pain meant nothing to him. It was covered by the fury.
“Red.” Peter got up from behind his desk. He was standing, looking like a scared little lamb wearing a Stanley Korshak three-piece suit. Fucking pathetic. “We were a great team. The best team. I’m just forcing your hand a little bit. I’ve been with you for years, since you started. This kid, this Caleb kid, he’s been with you barely a year. Don’t throw your life away for something that isn’t even going to last.”
It took everything Red had not to lunge over the table and tackle Peter to the floor. “What is it that you don’t understand? Caleb is my life. I’ve never connected with anyone like that before, and now you’re ripping that away? For what? What makes you think I would come work with you again?”
“Because, Red, you don’t ever want to see Caleb hurt. He’s your ‘life’ isn’t he? And you heard Jackson. What he has is hard to deny, especially when the charges are coming from a top surgeon.”
Red’s body vibrated with anger. “Jackson… Jackson. What the fuck is your connection with Jackson? Why is he doing your fucking dirty work?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Are you kidding me?” Red took a step back from the desk. He had to put more distance between himself and Peter. “It became my business when you decided to stick your fucking nose in mine.”
“What matters is that he has the photos and he has the computer logs.”
“That are all doctored! Caleb would never steal drugs from a patient.” Red’s body vibrated with anger. “I have enough money to bury you and Jackson in the ground.”
“No amount of money in the world will stop the police from dragging your boy-toy out of that hospital when they see what Jackson has.”
Peter stayed quiet after that. He knew he had Red in a corner. Proving that the pictures were fake could be hard to nearly impossible depending on how well they were photoshopped.
Caleb would be destroyed if he couldn’t continue being a nurse. It would crush him. He not only loved helping people, but he was also damn good at it. Red couldn’t even consider risking Caleb’s career, his life, not even for a second.
But he had to do something. He had to barter. He couldn’t just let these two assholes get away with it without some kind of recourse.
“Get Jackson out.”
Peter leaned his head forward. “Huh?”
“Get him to leave the hospital, leave Caleb alone, and then I’ll sign with you.”
“No.”
Red’s glare turned to daggers. Solid fucking blades. “Call him. Get him here.”
“He’s in a surgery.”
“You sure know his schedule pretty well.” Red crossed his arms. If he didn’t, his fists would have gone flying.
“Red, just take this deal. Leave Caleb and sign with me.”
“Why?” Red moved closer now. “Why not just have me sign with you? Why make me break up with him?”
“Because he’s the one that started this entire fucking mess!” Peter’s face turned bright pink. “I had to sell one of my cars because I couldn’t cover my mortgage. The Jaguar! My other clients are jumping ship left and right because they think I’m sinking. They see you gone and they want to leave, too. I’ve got no one.”
“No one except Jackson.”
Peter’s eyes bulged. His face turned maroon. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re with him. You two are together.” Red fucking knew it. Peter was so focused on the potential impact Red’s sexuality was going to have because he was too ashamed of his own.
“We met at one of my appointments.” Peter still didn’t confirm it, his face remaining a dark cherry red. “I didn’t think… It doesn’t matter. None of that matters. What we’re discussing here is your new contract.”
Red swallowed. He didn’t see many options, and he fucking hated that. If he refused Peter, then Caleb’s entire life could potentially be ruined. Red would have no way to prove Jackson was blackmailing him and faking the evidence, it wasn’t like he recorded their conversation.
“Give me your phone,” Peter demanded, hand outstretched.
“What?” Red spat.
“I’ll send the message myself if you can’t do it.”
“Fuck that,” Red said, smacking Peter’s hand out of the air. “Get Jackson out of the hospital and I’ll consider signing with you.”
Peter sat back down in his leather chair, gold studs down the sides. He picked up his phone and dialed out. “Hello? Hi, yes, can I have Jackson Ford, please. Yes, I know he’s in surgery. Tell him it’s urgent.”
“What are you doing?”
Peter covered the mouth piece. “Ending this.”
Red couldn’t let him pull the trigger. He couldn’t let him ruin Caleb’s career.
Fuck.
He threw his phone on the table. Peter picked it up, opening Caleb’s texts. His fingers flew across the screen. Red’s lungs burned. He wanted to yell. This was for Caleb. He had to remind himself, this was for his future. The excruciating pain was temporary, getting Caleb framed with drug charges was permanent.
Breathe.
Breathe.
He couldn’t. This was wrong. He had to go see Caleb. He needed to talk to him.
The message was sent. Immediately, Red’s phone started to ring. Peter denied the calls. Red seethed. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end.
It wasn’t supposed to end until the both of us are gone.
All Peter’s assistant heard after the rings were the sounds of things being thrown and screens being shattered from inside the office.
Thirty-One
Caleb Forester
Caleb took note of the blood pressure first. Heart rate looked good. Oxygen was fine.
“Alright, Fred, everything looks great.” Caleb tried to sound as excited as he could. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Susy is going to be your night nurse tonight.”
“Oh, I sure do like miss Susy.”
“She’s great,” Caleb said, cracking a weak smile as Fred looked him over. He was an older man, in his late sixties, and was a frequent visitor to Sierra View. He was one of those patients that Caleb had grown close to. Especially since Fred didn’t get a lot of family visits whenever he was in, so Caleb enjoyed to spend a little extra time with him. He always had some excellent stories to share and a hilarious sense of humor that usually got the both of them cracking up.
Caleb wasn’t in the mood, though. He headed toward the door and was almost out before Fred stopped him.<
br />
“Hold your horses,” he said from the bed, his voice a little raspy. He coughed and drank some water. Caleb walked back toward the bedside so Fred wouldn’t have to shout anymore.
“Who’s the boy?”
“Excuse me?” Caleb was taken aback by the sudden question.
“Oh, don’t put that act up. I knew you were gay from day one. And I know that face. The heartbreak one. Oh, I’ve felt it a few times in my life, that’s for sure.” His eyes were a steely blue, still as breathtaking as they were when he was younger. Maybe less sharp, but just as bright.
“I, uhm,” Caleb said, searching for words. He wasn’t expecting to talk about this all so soon, and not with one of his patients.
“Go on. Spit it out.”
“Yeah, there’s a guy. There was a guy.” The realization smacked Caleb with the force of a drunken housewife. “Everything seemed fine, but I got blindsided today. He’s calling things off.”
“And you love this man?”
Caleb tried to speak but choked on his words. He settled for nodding instead.
“Then get busy and do something if you truly love this man, don’t consider this the end. It never is if you really love the person.”
Caleb looked up from the floor. Fred was sitting up in the bed, his sun-spotted cheeks drawing up in a smile.
“I can see it,” Fred continued. “I hear it, too. He’s someone special, and I don’t doubt that he feels the same about you. Don’t feel defeated. This speed bump will only build you up stronger.”
“Thank you, Fred.” Caleb reached out and held Fred’s gentle hand.
“I wish I was as lucky as you,” Fred started. “I lived my entire life in complete fear, scared of the day someone would discover who I truly was and out me. Things were so different back then. I made up for it in other pursuits, activities that kept me feeling a bit fulfilled. I volunteered at the zoo and spent endless time spoiling my niece and nephew, making sure their childhood was never as repressed as mine.” Fred’s eyes took on a wistful glow as tears started to form. “And I look at you, and I see everything I missed out on. Don’t do it. Don’t let whatever happened between the two of you break you. Even if things don’t turn out how we want them to, don’t close yourself up forever.”
