by Mona Hanna
Gareth was looking at his feet, but then he finally met her eyes. “I wasn’t going to mention this because we hardly know each other, but… my father’s sick. I said we moved here for his work, but in truth we came here because we couldn’t afford to stay where we were because he lost his job because of his illness. I am looking for work while taking care of him, and on Saturday we have the opportunity to see a healer who might help him. That’s why I can’t see you. I’m really sorry.” He looked back at the ground.
Erica thought about what he’d said. “It’s alright, I understand. I hope your father will be okay. Is there anything I can do?”
“No, it’s fine. But I was wondering if I could spend time with you today? I know it’s all of a sudden, but it will probably be my last chance for a while. I like you and don’t want to miss out on seeing you.”
Erica smiled, pleased at the thought of seeing Gareth, although sad about his father. He’d already lost his mother. Had she been sick too? It seemed so unfair that he could lose both of his parents. Gareth hadn’t said how sick his father was, but Erica presumed it must be serious if the man had lost his job.
“I’d like that, but I have to check with my family. Listen, I hate to do this to you, but my parents said they’d like to meet you. I know I’m too old to have them checking up on me, but it would mean a lot if you could just meet with them for a little while. Is that okay?”
To Erica’s surprise, Gareth nodded. “Of course. I’d be happy to meet them.”
Erica breathed a huge sigh of relief, then turned and opened the front door. To her dismay, everyone was standing exactly as they had been. That nosy bunch of… “Mother, father, could you come out here please?” she asked. She spotted Julia grinning at her and glared back. She didn’t dare look at James and Caeden, knowing Caeden in particular would tease her.
Mother looked at Father before speaking. “You and Gareth can come inside. Everyone, please give us some privacy,” she said to the others.
There was a lot of grumbling from the children, but soon enough everyone else had dispersed from the room.
Erica gestured for Gareth to follow her, and they went and sat on one of the settees. Please don’t embarrass me. Erica waited for her parents to speak as they sat on the other settee.
“So, Gareth, you live nearby?” Father asked.
“Yes, very close,” Gareth said. “We only moved here recently. Erica showed me around the town, which was kind of her. I’m still getting used to the area.”
“And what do you do?” Father said.
“Right now I’m looking for work, but I used to work with a candlemaker in my old town. I’m hoping to do the same job here, or I’ll have to find something else.”
“What about your family?” Mother asked.
“Mother, don’t pry!” Erica said.
“No, it’s alright,” Gareth said, smiling. “There’s only my father. As I was saying to Erica when I came here, father’s unwell and I’m taking him to a healer on Saturday, so I can’t see her then. I was hoping to spend time with her today instead, if that’s alright with you both.”
Mother looked at Father. “That would be okay. But please tell us about your father. We might be able to help.”
Gareth looked at his hands. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do. He has a sickness of the lung. It’s difficult for him to breathe or even walk. There isn’t much hope for him, but I’ll do what I can to get him help. I’m sorry, but I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Oh, that’s fine, dear,” Mother said. “But do come by here tomorrow. I’ll make a potion that should lessen his pain. I’m not a healer, but Erica’s grandmother has been making potions for years, and I’ve learned to create one that can help with aches and assist with sleep. There’s absolutely no charge. I’m just happy to help a friend of Erica’s.”
Gareth smiled at Mother, which warmed Erica’s heart. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you. May I go out with Erica now? I’ll bring her back in a few hours.”
“Very well,” Father said. “Have a good time.”
Gareth stood and held out his hand for Erica.
She nervously took it, and then he led her out the front door. Erica shut the door behind them and looked up at him. “Sorry about that,” she said, desperately hoping he wouldn’t notice her heart was racing. “They asked far too many questions.”
“Don’t worry about it, Erica. I’m just pleased to be alone with you again. Let’s get going.”
Gareth began to walk down the street, and to Erica’s delight, he didn’t let go of her hand. She found it hard to catch her breath and told herself to calm down. She’d held a boy’s hand before, but not one she felt so strongly for. She really cared about Gareth, and hearing he was taking care of his father only endeared him to her more. She truly hoped her mother’s potion would help the poor man. She didn’t want Gareth to have any heartache. She only wanted him to be happy.
Chapter 8
Gareth strode down the street with Erica, full of dread over the situation but elated to be close to her. His hand tingled as he held hers; he adored the feel of her skin. He wished he was just an ordinary man spending time with the woman he liked. He wished he could grow close to her and kiss her. In truth, he did have to grow close to her, but all leading to an ugly end. Even her family seemed kind, wanting to help his father even though they didn’t know him. None of them deserved this. Gareth knew what he was doing. He had a choice: his father or the welfare of Erica. He could leave Erica alone, but his father would die. He was doing the wrong thing, but he could never live with himself if he lost his father.
“You’re being very quiet,” Erica said. “Are you alright?”
“Yes, I’m fine. Just thinking. It’s nice of your mother, offering to help my father. She seems very generous.”
“She is. She’s always liked helping people. I know she’ll work hard on the potion she wants to make for your father, so I do hope you’ll come by tomorrow to pick it up.”
“I will. Do you know how to make potions too?”
“Yes, but I only help sometimes. My magic works the same as my mother’s, making the potions more potent than they would be normally and work faster. My grandmother creates most of the potions, but my mother and I use our magic to improve them, and then my father sells them. My brother Elliot helps him—I think that’s what he’s going to do for long-term work. I’m glad he’s working with our family.”
They continued walking until they reached the area with shops they had spent time in before. Gareth made sure he kept up the conversation as they strode, but his mind was racing the whole time. He just wanted to sit down with Erica, hold her, not think about anything. He reached a point where the anxiety within him was driving him mad, so when he spotted a quiet spot in a large grassy place where they could stop, he immediately led Erica to it.
They sat by a tree, Gareth leaning against it and Erica resting her back against his chest. He put his arms around her waist, delighting in sitting with her that way, naturally cuddling together. They didn’t speak for a while, but the silence calmed Gareth rather than made him nervous. Holding Erica filled his heart with such warmth. There was a floral scent in her hair, and her slender body was so soft. Her arms rested on his, and she sighed in his embrace. He was filled with an overwhelming urge to turn her around and kiss her. It was all he could do to not act on that impulse.
“Gareth?” Erica finally said, breaking the silence. “What happened to your mother? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want. I just wanted to know, if you’re willing to talk about it.”
No, I don’t want to tell you. He didn’t want to tell anyone. He never wanted to think about it again. But could he deny her this? He chewed his lip, then finally decided to speak. “It happened a long time ago. I… Erica this is really hard for me to talk about. Please bear with me.”
“Take your time.”
Gareth took a deep breath. He shut his eyes, taking himself ba
ck to that place, that time. Back then. Back when.
“When I was a child, we lived in a house with a lake at the bottom of the garden. It was a wide lake, going across the gardens of several houses. My mother hated it, but we couldn’t afford to live anywhere else. She hated the lake because she was terrified of water—she couldn’t swim, had never learned. As a consequence, she couldn’t teach me to swim, and my father said he didn’t have time. He was always working, so I didn’t see him much.
“Mother told me to stay away from the lake, and I did. I didn’t really have any friends that lived nearby, so I just played near the house. I promised her I wouldn’t go down there. But then, one day….” Gareth stopped. One day, she died because of you. Because of you. His breath caught in his throat. He felt a tightness in his chest. A wracked sob escaped his mouth and he was horrified.
Erica turned in his arms and placed her hands on his face. “It’s alright.”
He shook his head.
“I’m with you. You’re safe now. I’m with you.”
Gareth looked into her eyes through the tears filling his own, then crushed her to him. He held her so tightly, burying his face in her neck. She wrapped her arms around him, and he could feel their hearts beating together. She stroked his hair and whispered sweet words to him. He wanted her more than anything in the world, and he lifted his head to look into her eyes again. Their lips hungrily met each other’s an instant later.
He moved his lips against Erica’s, placing one hand against the back of her neck while holding her with the other. She tasted heavenly and melted into his arms. He didn’t want to rush her, but their tongues met without him even thinking about it. He groaned and deepened the kiss. Erica clung to him and made a little cry. He wanted to kiss her for an eternity.
Suddenly he broke away from her. He didn’t deserve her, shouldn’t be touching her. They were still holding each other, but he didn’t dare look into her eyes, lest he throw himself at her again. His breath was heavy, as was hers.
She gently touched his face. “Gareth?” she whispered. “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”
“No!” he exclaimed, meeting her gaze. “No, no my darling. You couldn’t possibly do anything wrong. I’m just… I don’t deserve to kiss you. I don’t deserve for you to even look at me.”
“Why? Why in the world would you say that?”
Gareth was tempted to tell her then and there, blurt out the whole mess. She’d hate him forever, but at least he would be being honest with her for the first time. He cowardly bit his tongue, but the longer he sat there with her, the more he thought he couldn’t go through with the horrible plan, despite the cost. His resolve was dwindling. He adored her too much. She deserved to know some of the truth about him.
“I lost my mother when I was seven. I was stupid, a fool. I always told her I’d avoid the lake, but one day I saw a cat enter our garden. I didn’t think. I just chased her—until all of a sudden, I was by the water. I was about to head back when I spotted the cat on the edge of the lake. I thought I was safe, so I went over and patted her, but she darted away from me and I lost my footing. I fell in. Then I screamed.
“I screamed like a fool, even though I must have known she would come. My mother ran down to the lake while I struggled in its depths, trying to stay afloat. She couldn’t swim, but she jumped in anyway and tried to rescue me. I remember both of us drowning, and it was the most frightening moment of my life. She tried to reach me, but she couldn’t stay up. She was sinking. We were both sinking.
“We must have been making a hell of a noise, because one of our neighbors came down to us and jumped into the water. He grabbed me and took me to the water’s edge, but my mother was still drowning. I screamed, but he took me to land, and by then, it was too late. He went back for my mother, but she was already dead. He brought her out of the water, but it was too late. Erica, she was gone! She died, and it was all because of me! I killed her, and I’ll never forgive myself as long as I live. I can never forget, and I can never let go.”
Gareth took in a huge breath, tears filling his eyes again. He didn’t want to know what Erica thought because surely she would hate him now.
Then she did the most astonishing thing he could have imagined. She gently kissed him.
He looked at her in surprise.
“Gareth it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t kill your mother. It was an accident. You had an accident, and any child would have screamed for help. Your mother tried to save you because she loved you. There’s no way in the world she would want you to blame yourself for what happened. You didn’t mean for her to be hurt, and no sane person would ever think it was your fault she died. Do you understand?”
“My father does. He said it was my fault. He blames me. He’s sane and he thinks it’s my fault.”
“Gareth, look at me.”
“I can’t.”
“Darling, look at me.”
He obeyed.
“I don’t know what’s in your father’s head, but his words are those of a hurt man. He was wrong to tell you that, and I can only imagine how that would scar a child. And now your father’s sick! Oh, it’s too much for one person to have to bear. I can understand you wanting to do anything to save him.”
“You… you understand?”
Erica nodded.
That was it. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t hurt her. He loved his father, but the woman before him was a saint and he couldn’t dare harm her. The horrible part was he knew he could never see her again. She would only hate him if she knew what he had been willing to do to her, and all the lies, and he didn’t want to break her heart by telling her. Yet her heart would still be broken by him leaving. But it was the only way things could be.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered.
Erica smiled at him. She leaned in to kiss him again.
He abruptly stood before he gave in and lost himself to her. “I have to go. I can’t tell you why, but I can never see you again. You’re perfect, Erica, and I adore you. Always remember that. Always remember that I adore you.”
Then he turned and left.
Chapter 9
Erica tried to understand what had just happened. One moment she was in Gareth’s arms, and the next he was walking away from her, saying he could never see her again. What happened? What did she do? Was he upset because they spoke about his mother? She knew it was traumatic for him, but why did that mean he had to leave? Maybe he was mad at her, but his last words were that he adored her. She had no idea what was going on.
She expected to cry, but she just sat there, full of sadness. She sat for a long time, but then knew she had to go home. She could easily magically transport there since she wasn’t far away, but she was in no hurry to see or speak to anyone. So she stood and slowly walked, her head bent and her misery consuming her.
As if the world agreed things were sad, the weather obeyed her mood by becoming cloudy and grey, a big contrast from the bright sunlight of a few moments ago. A cold wind whipped her hair around, and the first droplets of rain landed on her skin. Erica strode along, wishing she could reverse everything that had happened with Gareth. The rain became heavier, and then a strike of lightning pierced the sky. She looked around, wondering how they could have such weather in the middle of spring. She lifted her head to the sky and suddenly realized it was her—she was causing the change. Thunder and more lightning. The sadder she became, the more her magic leaked out and caused the weather to be altered.
Stop it. No one here deserves this. She finally couldn’t take it anymore, shut her eyes, and magically transported to her bedroom.
“Erica! You’re soaked!” Julia said, jumping up from the bed and grabbing a blanket. She wrapped it around Erica’s shoulders and led her to a chair.
Erica burst into tears. The weather ceased storming as she let out her sadness, coming out of her soul instead of through her magic. She cried loudly and clung to Julia’s hand. “He doesn’t want me,” Erica choked out betwee
n sobs. “He said he can never see me again. I don’t know what I did. I want him so much.”
Julia knelt before her and gave her a huge hug. Erica continued sobbing, part of her wishing she’d never met Gareth if he was just going to hurt her. The worst part was she would never know why—what caused him to leave. She had only known him such a short while, but she had fallen for him completely. Now she had to forget he existed.
“Tell me everything,” Julia said.
Erica waited for her tears to subside, then told her best friend the whole story. There wasn’t much to tell, but she recounted all that had happened.
Julia sat back on the floor and frowned. “It doesn’t sound like you did anything to cause this at all. It’s all about him. Erica, it’s alright. You’ll find someone else.”
“I don’t want someone else! I want him!”
“Oh, sweetie,” Julia said, leaning forward and hugging her again. There was a knock at the door, and Julia stood. “Come in,” she called.
Mother opened the door and walked through. She took one look at Erica and gasped. “Honey, what happened? What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Mama,” Erica said, standing and hurrying into her mother’s arms. Mother held her tightly, immediately easing Erica’s pain. Her mother always made her feel better. But she was still hurting.
“I’m never going to see him again,” Erica said against her mother’s shoulder. Mother said nothing, just continued holding her. Erica didn’t have the energy to talk about it anymore. She stopped back, wiping her soggy hair away from her face. “I want to get changed. Can I be left alone?”
“Of course,” Mother said. “I’ll make some tea. Come join us in the kitchen when you’re ready.”
Erica nodded, then waited for Mother and Julia to leave the room. Once she was alone, she slumped down on her bed. It had been a horrible day. She only hoped it would get better.
***
