by Sasha Cain
He sat at his desk waiting for me. I smiled and asked him how he was. He too, acted surprised at my demeanor, though he tried not to show it.
“I’m fine, Maggie. And how are you feeling today?”
“I’m feeling much better, Doctor. In fact, I’d really like to focus on getting out of here.”
“Now, Maggie, we mustn’t rush things. It’s very important that you make a complete recovery before you’re released, so you don’t relapse. Don’t you agree?”
I nodded stiffly, resisting the urge to grab him by the lapels and scream into his stupid, pudgy, condescending face, “Let me out of here!”
Instead, I jumped through all of his hoops and said all of the things I knew he wanted to hear to prove to him that my sanity had returned...or at least resurfaced. By the end of our session, I felt confident that I’d impressed him.
“Well, it looks like you’re on the mend. I’m very pleased. If this kind of progress continues, you’ll be out of here in no time.”
What did he mean by no time? Was he talking days, weeks, or months? I could manage a few days, but I needed to get back to L.A. and I didn’t want to seem too anxious and ask him.
I mean, just yesterday I wasn’t talking at all. Up until today, I’d spent my time in Dr. Little’s office staring out the window and giving him exaggerated sighs. I needed to tread lightly.
Anton returned to escort me back to my room. He asked me how my session went and I cheerfully told him it went well. He left saying he’d see me tomorrow. I nodded and went inside.
I closed my door and sat down on my bed. Now that I had a game plan, I was anxious to get it rolling. If I had to sit around here for any length of time, I knew I’d really go crazy.
Later that afternoon, Anton surprised me by arranging for me to go outside. He escorted me out to the courtyard and we sat under a big dogwood tree. I inhaled deeply. The fresh air smelled nice, but nothing compared to Celio. I kept that thought to myself.
“This was very sweet of you. Thank you, Anton,” I said.
He smiled and started to say something, but stopped. I urged him to continue. He hesitated, but finally he spoke.
“It’s just...that boyfriend of yours? Forgive me, Maggie, but he’s a big douche.”
I laughed out loud. “No, Anton, he’s a colossal douche.”
He laughed and then sobered. “After he treated you like that...and then just left, you seemed so sad...sadder than I’ve ever seen anyone. Today was the first day I’ve even seen a hint of anything but misery. I just wanted to try to do something to make it last.”
“Well, Anton, mission accomplished. But I have to tell you, finding out Gregg and Amanda were together isn’t what upset me. They deserve each other and neither one of them is worth one more minute of my thoughts or my time. He and I are far better off apart.”
“Then what made you so sad?”
I looked away and then back at Anton, smiled, and lowered my voice. “Let’s just say it was because of opportunities lost...or opportunities I thought I lost. Hopefully, when I get out of here...I’m going to try to get back to the place I should’ve never left.”
“I hope you get there, Maggie. I really do.”
“Me, too.”
We stayed awhile longer until right before dinner time. Afterward, Anton wheeled me back to my room where I spent the rest of the evening.
When I got into bed, I closed my eyes and thought of Darrios’ beautiful face. In my mind, he smiled at me.
“Darrios, I miss you. I’m back to fighting again. I’m going to get back to you. I am. Just as soon as I can get out of here, I’m going to do everything I can to find a way back. I won’t stop until I do. I am so sorry I left you. God, I hope you can forgive me.”
I felt the lump in my throat growing as I remembered the way Darrios’ touch sent little pops of electricity exploding all over my body. I thought about his voice and how he could speak in that sexy, seductive way that left me weak in the knees. I ached with the longing to feel his arms around me again. I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut tight to prevent any more from spilling out.
My hopelessness hovered around, trying desperately to work its way back into my head, but I held fast, pushing it away. I needed to hang onto what Bernie had said and the belief that Darrios and I would be together again. Otherwise, I didn’t think I could go on.
I took a couple of deep breaths and turned onto my side. I let myself drift off to sleep thinking about Darrios and me, swimming and frolicking in the lake.
****
After three days of upbeat, smiling, yet completely unstimulating conversations with Dr. Little, he started to believe in my speedy recovery, with only slight reservations. He called my brother and told him to be cautiously optimistic. Brendan drove right down.
His face revealed excitement and relief as he came bustling into my room. He hugged me and stared into my eyes like he expected to see something.
“What? Are you checking for demons?” I teased.
He laughed and looked away, but said nothing for a few moments. “Are you okay, Maggie? I mean, really okay?”
I nodded. I placed my hand on my brother’s cheek. “Yes, Brendan, I’m fine. I know I lost it there for awhile, but I’m better now. You don’t need to worry. You can go to Africa knowing your sister is not going to flip out and go on a shooting spree or something.”
“I just want you to be happy, Mags. That’s all.”
“And I intend to be.”
We visited for the afternoon until Anton came to get me for my session with Dr. Little. Brendan kissed my cheek and promised to return in the morning.
My session went well, but I grew more impatient with each visit. I desperately wanted to get out of this damn hospital and get back to L.A.
With every passing minute I missed Darrios more, but I didn’t mention him again to my brother. I knew he didn’t believe me about Celio, and Bernie hadn’t returned yet, so I didn’t want to alarm him or do anything to ruin my chances of getting released. I went to bed that night frustrated, but hopeful as well.
Chapter Eight
It was my favorite dream. Darrios placed his hand on my face. He kissed my forehead and told me he’d missed me. I started to awaken, but fought to stay asleep. I wanted this dream to continue. It seemed so real.
I felt him touch me. God, I loved his hands on me and I knew he would vanish as soon as I opened my eyes, so I kept them shut and concentrated.
Movement next to me startled me for a second. Oh for God sakes! I loved my brother, but right now I just wanted him to get out of my room and leave me alone with my dream.
I felt my hand being squeezed and then kissed. My eyes flew open when I heard him whisper, the soft, seductive tone that had quickly grown so familiar to me.
“Yep, just as beautiful in the morning as I remember.”
I blinked and sat straight up in bed, gasping. It wasn’t Brendan, but Darrios bending over me. I tried to exhale slowly, worried that I was hallucinating. Darrios smiled at me and stood up straight.
“Hey, Maggie,” he said casually.
I continued to stare and blink. He sat down on the bed next to me. My whole body went hot. I closed my eyes and opened them again, still afraid he wasn’t real. I held my breath.
“Maggie? Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“Oh my God, of course I am!” I shrieked.
He touched my face and my skin tingled everywhere. I reveled at the touch of his hand on my face, the touch of my hand to his. My skin was on fire, my breathing ragged and uneven.
“Darrios? I can’t believe it’s you...how...?”
“That last night we had together?” he whispered as he leaned in, smirking that previously annoying smirk that I now found adorable. “If you remember correctly...thanks to you, I had several wishes coming. Bernie reminded me I could use them.”
“Bernie?”
“Yeah, he showed up a couple days ago. It’s weird how he does that
. He told me everything, and then hinted to me about the wishes.”
I blushed, but smiled, recalling every moment of that evening. Darrios kissed me, and the moment his lips touched mine, his tongue touched mine, a feeling of joy, of bliss overwhelmed me.
I threw my arms around him and returned his kiss. The despair and darkness vanished and happiness poured over me. Tears flowed freely over my cheeks. Darrios pulled away and looked at me, his brow wrinkled.
“Maggie, what’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.
I shook my head and placed my hands on the sides of his face, not even trying to hide my tears. “Nothing is wrong, now,” I answered. “God, I missed you so much. I couldn’t stand it.”
“What about Gregg?” Darrios asked stiffly, pulling back.
“He’s gone,” I answered, shaking my head.
He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“He is. I knew from the first second he walked into the room. I guess I knew all along that I didn’t love him.”
“Did you tell him that?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, I did. It didn’t matter, though. He’d already moved on, awhile ago.”
Darrios kissed my hand and asked me what I meant.
I laughed with a wave of my hand. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re here.
I started to tear up again. I sniffled, my voice cracking as I continued. “I left you. I walked away from you and came back to this place that I detest because I thought I had to...because it wasn’t right to leave people who cared about me wondering what happened.”
Darrios took my hand and kissed it. “Maggie, it’s okay.”
I pursed my lips and shook my head. “My whole relationship with Gregg was a lie and it took leaving what you and I had to figure that out and to realize how much I loved you, that I am in love with you. God, I thought it was too late.”
Darrios smiled, pulling me to him. He looked into my eyes and spoke softly. His gaze emitted sheer honesty and love. “When I came back that day and you were gone, I just about lost my mind. I ran through the house frantically calling out for you, and then I found your note. I completely fell apart.”
I couldn’t stop the hiccupped sob, hearing that.
“I hurt everywhere,” he admitted. “I couldn’t go out, but I couldn’t stay in. Everything reminded me of you...and there was just so much pain...so much. I’ve never felt pain like that in my life. I was burning alive and being crushed at the same time.”
“I know what you mean. I felt it too, physical pain, not to mention the tremendous emotional pain...crippling, emotional pain.”
“You’re in my head, Maggie. And my heart and soul. You’re everything...everything I want, everything I need. Once you were gone, I discovered pretty quickly that I can’t live without you.
“I don’t want to live someplace where I can’t hear your voice, or feel your touch, or feel your lips on mine. I couldn’t sleep because I need to feel you against me.”
“Me too!” I exclaimed. “It was unbearable. That’s why I’m still here in the hospital. The only way I could sleep was drug-induced. At least, then, I could dream of you...happy dreams...instead of the nightmare I’ve been living in without you.”
“Each day was worse than the day before,” Darrios told me. “My thoughts of you consumed me. Then I went to a real bad place when I started thinking of him. I imagined Gregg touching you...the way I touched you. It made me crazy. I wanted to kill him.”
“Well, that’s never happened,” I snorted. “I have never been touched the way you touch me. I have never experienced anything as amazing as the things you did to me.”
“Well, I’m hoping I can do them again, Maggie.”
He took my face in his hands. “I love you. I want you so much, more than anything. I know what I said about our worlds not being right for one another...but I can’t do it without you. I’d rather live here, in your world, than without you in mine.”
“I love you, too, Darrios,” I whispered.
He smiled warmly at me and lowered his eyes. “God it’s good to hear you say that.”
He pulled me close and kissed me so deeply and passionately, that it’s all I could feel. Just he and I and that kiss between us. And, naturally, that’s when my brother walked in.
I heard him gasp and Darrios turned. Brendan’s expression conveyed only confusion. I couldn’t help but giggle. I held out my hand and motioned Brendan toward me with a wave, taking Darrios’ hand with my other hand.
“Brendan, come meet Darrios. See? I told you, I’m not crazy. He is real.”
My brother stopped and stood still, bewildered. He cocked his head to the side, as if he hadn’t heard me.
“Brendan? This is Darrios. Say something.”
Darrios held out his hand and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Brendan. Maggie’s told me all about you.”
“You’re...Darrios?” Brendan asked, his voice a little squeaky, still befuddled, I guess. “The Darrios?”
“The one and only I hope,” Darrios replied, glancing down at me.
“And you live in some mystical place?”
He chuckled. “I don’t know if I’d call it mystical, but yeah, I’m from Celio...and yes, I kill monsters in the Outer Rim, and yes that’s how I met Maggie.”
“I need to sit down,” Brendan said as he stumbled to the chair near my bed.
“Brendan, are you all right? You look a little pale.”
He ignored my question. “So it’s all true. Everything you said, monsters, magic, and him. How is this possible?”
I shrugged, but smiled warmly at Darrios. “I don’t know, Brendan, but it is and he came for me. He’s here.”
“I love your sister, Brendan. I can’t live without her. If that means I have to come back to this world so we can be together, then that’s what I’ll do.”
Brendan blew out a breath and shook his head. “I don’t know what to think. I mean...I’m happy for you, Mags. I’m just stunned. I never dreamed...”
“It’s okay, Brendan. Take a breath. I know it’s a lot to swallow.”
Moments later, Brendan took my hand and glanced back and forth between Darrios and me, with a wrinkled brow. “What do you want to do, Maggie? Before, you said you wanted to go back to Celio. Do you still feel that way? Because, Darrios said he’s willing to sacrifice it all and come back here for you, but if you’d rather be there, then I think maybe you two should talk.”
“What about you, Brendan? I don’t want to leave you,” I said.
He smiled at me and then gently ran his hand down the side of my face. “Maggie, when are you going to start putting your needs first? I’m not a little kid anymore. You don’t have to protect me. Do what will make you happy. It seems to me you’re getting a second chance here. You’re the one that said that doesn’t happen. Don’t blow it. I’m going to Africa, remember? I’ll be gone for at least two years. You’re not leaving me. In fact, this is good because I agonized over leaving you and Aunt Gin.”
“What if we go back to Celio...and we can’t get back?” I asked just above a whisper.
“You already did, Mags. If you did it this time, you’ll figure out a way to do it again.”
Darrios interrupted. “We don’t even know if we can find another door to get back there. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Darrios turned to me. “Maggie, I love you. I don’t mind living here, as long as it’s with you.”
He took my hand and kissed it. Bernie walked in at that moment.
“Everyone calm down. I’m working on that.”
“Bernie, what the hell are you doing here?” Darrios asked, stunned.
Bernie rolled his eyes. “Duh, fixing the mess the two of you made of all my hard work, of course.”
****
Suddenly, we were interrupted by an “Ahem.” We looked up to see Gregg standing there, sans Amanda, his face blanched. I glared at him, wondering what it was that ever attracted me to him. It disgusted me that I had allowed hi
m to take over my life the way he did.
I flopped back onto my pillows and muttered, “Fabulous, just what I need. I thought I told you to leave me alone. I don’t want to see you, Gregg.”
As if he hadn’t heard me, Gregg nodded toward Darrios and then glanced down to our hands clasped together. “Who the hell is this?” he asked, far huffier than he had a right to be.
Brendan got up, placed his hands on his hips, and stood in front of Darrios and me, defensively.
“This is Darrios, Gregg,” I said rather self-satisfied. I couldn’t help myself. “I believe I already told you all about him. Darrios, meet Gregg. Actually, it was you who told me all about him.”
“Darr...you’re the guy...he’s real?” Gregg stammered.
Darrios looked at Gregg, then back at me. “What did he think I was?”
“He thought I imagined you, that I made you up.”
Darrios looked at Gregg. “Why would she do that?”
“I...I don’t know,” Gregg answered. “Her story was just so...” He narrowed his eyes and glared at me. “Wait a minute,” he said accusingly, “if he’s real...”
“I am,” Darrios said.
“Then that means the other stuff you said...you fucked him?”
Darrios took my hand, possessively, and continued to smile at Gregg. I had to admit, a part of me was enjoying Gregg’s discomfort.
Gregg sighed angrily and yelled, “That’s just great! The doctor calls to tell me you’re better, and I leave work to come check on you to make sure you’re all right...and I find you here with your lover. I can’t believe you cheated on me, Maggie!”
Darrios looked at him, at me, and then back at Gregg. He stood up. “Are you kidding?” he yelled, turning to me. “Is he kidding?”
I shook my head, chuckling, which quickly erupted into laughter. Even for Gregg, the audacity was too much. “I...I...It’s just...” Gregg sputtered.
Brendan stepped aside as Darrios took a step toward Gregg.
“You know, I had you pegged as a selfish tool after the first few sentences out of Maggie’s mouth regarding you...and she defended you.
