by James Vietch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 13:41
* * *
50kg? You’ve got to be kidding me. There’s no point doing this at all unless we’re shipping at least a metric tonne.
I’m a hedge fund executive bank manager so I know about these things.This isn’t the first time I’ve shipped bullion my friend, no no.
Now. Where are you based? I don’t know about you but I think, if we’re going Royal Mail, it ought to be signed for – no?
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 15:23
* * *
It will not be easy to convince my company to do larger quantity shipment. We usually start with smaller quantity as trial shipment,
I am currently in Ghana. But we have mines all South America and Africa. Here is our www.katagoldd.web.com
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 15:58
* * *
Solomon, I’m completely with you on this one. We need to go into the meeting together and convince them that we need to ship three tonnes of gold.
I’m not talking about Spandau Ballet either.
Your website is down. Is that the right link?
I’m putting together a visual for you to take into the board meeting.
Hold tight.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 16:58
* * *
Solomon,
Attached to this email you’ll find a helpful chart.
I had one of my assistants run the numbers and I’ve discovered an undeniable correlation between the amount of gold you and I have and our wealth.
For this reason, I think it’s clear that we should be shipping as much gold as possible.
Let me know what your thinking is. See if you can get this by the board. Probably best you print out the attachment and take it in with you.
Images are powerful.
All best, James
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 17:16
* * *
Okay Then you will have to call our marketing manager. And convince him about that.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 17:24
* * *
No problem; I can call him in the morning. But I won’t have the picture to show him. Could you be there so we can do a conference call? Sort of hit him with all the angles. You go in slow; I’ll come in fast and heavy about the gold.
You’re totally right about getting in touch with the manager of course. Here at the bank we, too, leave almost all major decisions to the marketing team.
How much room do you think the gold will take up?
There’s not much room where I live. I can bin the microwave but that only frees up about two square feet.
Still trying to get on to your website; have you had your IT guys look at it?
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 17:41
* * *
If you can call him in the morning that will be great. I will get more details regarding the website from the manager in the morning.
I will be so much happy if the deal goes well, because I am going to get a very good commission as well.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 18:10
* * *
Superb. What’s your cut if you don’t mind my asking? Are you planning on spending it already? I want to get a new microwave. What’s this guy’s number?
James
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 18:23
* * *
I will make $1000 commission per each kilo.
His phone numbers is +233-541370970. Name Wilson.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 18:50
* * *
Wow. See? We’re both going to do alright out of this.
I’ll call Wilson tomorrow morning.
What are you going to spend your cut on?
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 19:42
* * *
On RealEstate, what about you?
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 19:57
* * *
One word: hummus. It’s going places.
I was in Sainsbury’s the other day and there were about 30 different varieties.
Also, you can cut up carrots and dip them. Have you ever done that Solomon?
And peppers. The other day I got peppers of all different colours and cut them up and dipped them in hummus. Delicious. I’ve been eating a lot of cold food since the microwave packed in. Do you like microwaves? Will you have one in your new house?
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 21:59
* * *
I have to go bed now. Till morrow. Have sweet dream.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 17 October 22:02
* * *
Bonsoir my golden nugget, bonsoir.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 18 October 12:11
* * *
Solomon,
I had several meetings this morning and was unable to call the marketing manager.
Meanwhile, I’m concerned about security. The news tells us that the authorities are watching our every move. The other day I picked up my telephone and heard a crackle as I brought it to my ear. Then, as I was talking, there was a popping sound. Finally, when I put the receiver down, I heard a loud snap. The thought that someone could have been listening in put me right off my cereal.
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: 18 October 13:40
* * *
All I need from you is to follow my instructions and I promise you we shall both smile at the end.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Security! Date: 18 October 13:55
* * *
Solomon,
Re. security: I think when we email each other, we should use some sort of code. Would that be alright? Say ok and I’ll send you the code I’ve been working on.
James
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: Security! Date: 18 October 15:43
* * *
I agree totally that we should use a Code. Am sure from the coming week the Lawyer would have finished with the legal documents and we
shall proceed with the claim process.
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: Security! Date: 18 October 16:09
* * *
Excellent. I spent all night coming up with this code; can we use it in all further communications please.
Bank: Creme Egg
Lawyer: Gummy Bear
Legal: Fizzy Cola Bottle
Claim: Peanut M&Ms
Documents: Jelly Beans
Western Union: A Giant Gummy Lizard
Please call me KitKat in all further correspondence.
The best thing to do is write the email and then go through it and replace all the terms with the ones I’ve provided. It would put my mind at rest and I think it would expedite the whole process. Looking forward to doing business with you!
KitKat
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: Security! Date: 19 October 09:34
* * *
Solomon,
Is the deal still on?
KitKat
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: Security! Date: 19 October 11:49
* * *
The Business is on and I am trying to raise the balance for the lawyer so that he can submit all the needed legal documents the bank for the claim process to start. Can you assist with some funds? Send to my name £1,500.00 via Western Union
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: Security! Date: 19 October 13:13
* * *
Solomon,
I certainly can. I can send funds tomorrow. But I’m very concerned about privacy. For instance in your email, ‘claim’ should have been Peanut M&Ms and ‘documents’ should have been Jelly Beans.
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
To: James Veitch
* * *
Subject: Re: Security! Date: 19 October 14:22
* * *
The business is on. I am trying to raise the balance for the Gummy Bear so he can submit all the needed Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans to the Creme Egg for the Peanut M&Ms process to start. Can you assist with the funds? Send £1,500.00 via A Giant Gummy Lizard.
Solomon
From: James Veitch
* * *
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
* * *
Subject: Re: Security! Date: 19 October 14:25
* * *
:)
The Snail Farm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets I need an investor to invest 300000$ in farming that will yield profit of 6000000$ in eight months
29/09 13.04
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze what sort of farming are we talking about? Will I need to milk a cow?
29/09 13.38
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no cow business but snail farm only
29/09 14.04
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze how are we supposed to get milk from snails? have you thought this through?
29/09 14.16
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no i don’t mean we milk snail but farm it so that all that eats snail can afford to buy snail
29/09 16.01
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze how confident are you that we can’t milk snails? Don’t you think it’s worth trying? This could be a good secondary income.
29/09 19.06
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets snail contains little fat. it is the best food for Africans in order to reduce risk of cholesterol.don’t joke look divine
29/09 22.34
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze amazing. How easy are they to catch?
30/09 12.56
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets it is being hunt in the night because they move only in the night for food.
30/09 13.04
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze gotcha. How fast do we have to be though? When I was younger I tried to catch a rabbit and it was very very hard.
30/09 13.07
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets snail moves slowly
30/09 13.10
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze how slowly?
30/09 13.13
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets one of the most slow moving creature
30/09 13.32
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze In principle, I’m in. How would you feel about coming in with me on a cheetah farm I’m planning?
03/10 17.58
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets what next is to sign the contract legally and start construction of the farm.
03/10 19.16
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Question, how do we stop the snails escaping? could we organise some sort of ride around the farm or ‘park’ for tourists?
03/10 19.32
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets i have no fund for that.such farm better 4 western world
03/10 20.44
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze not 100% sure Camden Council would grant planning permission for a snail farm. I had enough trouble getting resident’s parking.
03/10 20.50
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Islington?
03/10 20.51
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets snails will be controlled by a construction with wire gauge.hence no atom of risk involve.
03/10 23.17
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze This wire gauge sounds perfect. Can we electrify it, too?
03/10 23.33
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no need
03/10 23.50
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Can we prevent a breakout though? What if something happens to the fences? What if the snails learn how to open doors?
04/10 07.41
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets security for all properties are my government first priority there is security provision in my proposal to you. no cause 4 fear
04/10 09.12
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze You say that but if we have a snail breakout it’s not going to be as easy as when the Pirates of the Caribbean ride breaks down.
04/10 09.20
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets there is cause for alarm
